All the Rest
by Dude13
Summary: A collection of previously unpublished stories featuring Frankie, her adopted "little brother" Mac, Bloo, and all the others in a myriad of adventures and mishaps alike.
1. Museum Mischief

**Author's Note**: For those of you familiar with my stories, like everything else, this takes place in my series, set up by the events in my first story "More Than My Friend" where the big event is that Frankie adopts Mac and becomes her guardian. If you haven't read that story yet, I strongly suggest you do so now, or else you might get terribly confused.

Now, for some explaining - at first, I ended the series several months ago due to lack of free time to get any writing done, which to be honest, is a problem I still have. However, what was already to submitted to the site actually weren't the only stories that I wrote. To be honest, I have a fair amount of stories I like to call the "rejected" works, which are fics I didn't upload for one reason or another. However....well, I don't have a good, or even complicated reason why I'm choosing to finally clean those particular stories up and uploading them other than simply, "well, why not?"

So for a little bit, I'll be dragging these stories up out of the bowels of my computer, edit them, and then upload together in a collection, for all you to hopefully enjoy in a bit of a last hurrah as the cartoon itself finally comes to an end after all these years.

-Dude13

* * *

"…Hey! Hey, c'mon! Not so rough! Not so rough! Is this even legal? You didn't even read us our rights or anything like that, nope, you're just yanking us around like we're not full American citizens with our free and equal rights or nothing like that at all, and in case you haven't heard, this isn't the Soviet Union where you can just ship us off to the gulag way way out in the middle of Siberia or…"

The infuriated little girl protested shrilly every foot she was forcibly dragged along by the stonefaced museum guard, no matter how much her presumed partner-in-crime gestured frantically for her to put a lid on it.

"Goo!" Mac whispered urgently. "Settle down-"

"Settle down? _Settle down_?" she snapped ferociously. "You're telling _me_ to settle down? Why don't you tell that to Mr. Guilty-Until-Proven-Innocent here? We didn't do a single thing, nuh-uh! Nope! Nothing at all! Didn't do one thing wrong! Totally innocent! Yeah-huh! We didn't…"

As his ears were incessantly violated by the high-pitched squeals of outrage, the guard just shook his head and sighed exasperatedly as he continued to keep a firm grasp upon the miscreants while he took a sharp turn and dragged them through a small doorway into where museum security was based.

"Hey, Pete! Are _these_ the ones who were raising hell down in the Mesozoic Exhibit?" another guard asked from behind a counter as soon as he spotted them.

"Unfortunately." Came the groaned reply as Goo angrily jabbered on and on, her ire knowing absolutely no bounds.

"You can't do this! You can't! You can't! You can't! You can't! You can't! We didn't do anything! Not one thing! We only came here today to have a fun time, but not any fun time, a fun time where you can actually learn something and it won't bore you to tears in five seconds like in math class on Friday when we were talking about long division but-"

"Tell _that_ to everyone you scared half to death." The hulking man replied grouchily as he lugged them into a small room and forced them to take a seat upon two uncomfortably hard plastic chairs.

"But we're _not_ lying!" Mac argued. "Seriously, we really didn't do anything! It was-"

One fierce scowl was all it took to frighten the two silent. The children promptly clammed up as the irked guard glared sternly with daggers in his eyes.

"You two listen up, and you listen good, because I'm _not_ repeating myself; both of you aren't moving an inch from this spot until whoever was in charge of you for the day comes and gets you. And don't even _think_ about trying to sneak of here and getting off scot-free; Ted up there is going to make sure of that you're not going anywhere."

"But we didn't-" Goo, her tone having softened to a pitiful whimper, tried to explain one final time to absolutely no avail as the irritated man snapped at them

"Thanks to you little punks, I have to go back downstairs and try and take care of the mess you made, and when I come back, we're going to have a nice long talk about why _no_ one fools around at the Natural History Museum. _Got it_?"

"But-" Mac protested in vain.

"Nuh-uh!" he quickly cut the boy off. "You two are going to get it, you understand? And if you thing I'm going to be bad, then you probably don't even want to think about what your mom's going to do when she comes looking for you little rats and finds out about _this_…"

* * *

"_How_ am I going to get them out of there?" The young woman wondered aloud with a grimace as she scouted the scene from behind the cover of a large potted plant. As her mind raced for ideas, the little blob by her side glanced up and shot her a quizzical look.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Bloo asked curiously. "Seriously, what's so hard about this? You walk in, tell the guy up front those are yours in the back room, and then-"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Frances "Frankie" Foster asked the blob with an angry glower.

To her enormous annoyance, thanks to the azure figment's unbelievably bad memory, he just gave her a glassy stare for several moments before suggesting, "…Do you need to say 'please' first, or something? _Ow_! Hey, what gives?"

Moving faster than the eye could follow, Frankie promptly cuffed him sharply upon the head as she hissed furiously. "Bloo, the only reason they're in there is because of _you_!"

"Oh c'mon, I was only-" he whined in his defense.

"Don't lie! You _told_ me that you were the one jumping out of dinosaur skeletons and actually screaming at people! The only reason you're out here is because you slipped away while they were crawling around in the ribcage of a God-knows-what trying to stop you from-"

"Yeah, and it was _awesome_!" the imaginary friend started gushing excitedly. "I mean, people come here to look at the bones of dead things, right? But no one expects those dead things to start yelling at you, or _anything_! It was the perfect prank-_OW_!"

Again Frankie swatted him square on the noggin. "Bloo, as far as security's concerned, Goo and Mac were the ones causing all that trouble! And do you have _any_ idea what they're going to do to _me_ when I stroll in and tell those guards _I_ was supposed to be watching them while they were supposedly spooking people and crawling around in ancient fossils? There's no way there's going to let _me_ off the hook easily at all! As soon as I tell them, they're probably going to-"

"All right, cool it! Don't freak or anything!" Bloo replied as he nursed his aching head. "Sheesh! So just sneak in, and-"

"Sneak in?" she shook her head furiously. "There's only _one_ way in! No way I'm going to get by without-"

"All right, so….uh…" the imaginary friend muttered, before taking a quick pause to try and cook up a scheme. "Hmm…how about…you could...um...oooh! Oooh! How about you go in there and tell them there's a cool bug crawling around outside?"

"….A cool bug?" she repeated in disbelief, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah!" he whooped enthusiastically. "And when you do, the guards are all going to come rushing out, ready to see this totally cool bug, and while they're looking for it, that's when you go to the back and-"

"They're not stupid, Bloo!" she snapped. "I don't think that telling them a weird bug is outside is going to make them-"

"Hey, lay off!" the figment snapped indignantly. "_I'm_ the one who's making an effort here to come up with something. You're just sit there on your butt and criticizing everything that I'm thinking up-"

"You've only come up with _one_ idea so far, and it was without a doubt one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my whole entire life!" the redhead grumbled. "C'mon, we gotta figure out a way…to…try and…"

Frankie abruptly trailed off as soon as she spotted the hulking museum guard depart, leaving the one who was still busy minding several camera monitors. As she observed the last remaining guard, without warning, inspiration suddenly struck. "Hold on…I think I have an idea…"

"Really?"

"Yeah..." she grimaced. "It's not much...but if they don't know who exactly is coming to get the kids..._and_ if they have Lost-and-Found in there, then maybe..."

* * *

"Mama's not gonna like this." Goo muttered glumly, looking as forlorn as a prisoner on death row. "I'm gonna be in soooo much trouble when she finds out…and not like, walking-inside- the-house-without-wiping-your-feet trouble, but like, stealing-the-car-and-driving-it-through-a-church-picnic trouble, y'know, like-"

"But it _wasn't_ our fault." Mac reminded her, trying to sound optimistic but only able to conjure up a shadow of a reassuring smile.

"I know, I know, I _know_." Goo sighed gloomily. "But still, we…"

As the children spoke in hushed tones, the museum guard up front paid them little attention as he kept his gazed dully fixed on the security monitors, dutifully making sure nothing was amiss while he slouched in his chair.

"Excuse me?" someone suddenly inquired gently. "Sir?"

"Hmm?" the young man grunted distractedly as he swiveled about in his seat. As soon as he peered into the pair of sparkling jade-green eyes of the redhead standing before him, in an instant the fellow immediately sat straight and rigid as a steel beam as his eyes almost popped right out of their sockets.

"H-hi!" he immediately blurted out with a grin as he stood up straight with a start. "Do y-you need anything, miss?"

Just like that, her scheme quickly hit a snag, and Frankie immediately paused for a few seconds once it became clear he was ogling her somewhat. Fortunately, it seemed that at least neither Mac nor Goo had described her to the guard, but unfortunately, to him she was little more than a pretty face to get excited about, as they were roughly about the same age.

Needless to say, she wasn't exactly pleased with the way the smitten fellow was gawking at her like a magazine spread, and for a moment she felt the impulse to put him to shame with a snappy remark, or even a snarl. However, she managed to battle off the impulse when realization quickly struck her; well, she _was_ trying to divert his attention. Surely, it wouldn't hurt to use this at all to her advantage would it?

Not sure if she wanted to answer that question or not, she took a deep breath, and swallowed her pride; this wasn't by far the most honorable thing to do, but it was all for the children, she reminded herself. Turning up the charm as much as she could, she clasped her hands and nodded in what she hoped was a convincingly coy manner.

"I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be a bother or anything. It's just that...see, I'm looking for...well..." The young woman went on in the sickeningly sweetest tone that she could muster. Meanwhile, the instant they heard the extremely familiar voice, Mac and Goo leapt from their seats and together they peered in from the doorway, making sure to stay out of sight lest the guard scolded them.

"Oh, are you looking for two kids?" the smitten young man immediately inquired. "One short with brown hair, and the other one a little taller and-"

Much to the children's dumb shock, Frankie immediately grimaced at the suggestion, as was part of her original plan. As the two thunderstruck little ones mutely watched on, the caretaker made a face in disgust and spat, "_Blecch_! I hope not! I just can't stand kids; they're nothing but a bratty nuisance, if you ask _me_. I can barely handle being in the same room with even _one_ pest."

"That makes two of us, I guess." The young man replied, and immediately Frankie faked a giggle.

"Oh stop it, you!" she tittered, causing him to blush a little. "Anyway, could you help me with my itty bitty little problem? I lost my bracelet about an hour ago, and I was wondering if anyone found it. It's about the same color as…wait, hold on…"

With a few deft movements she tugged off her scrunchie, allowing her crimson locks to tumble down to shoulder level. As she gracefully flipped her hair back with a shake of the head, the slack-jawed guard just gawked unblinkingly at the sight, completely entranced.

"It's about the same color as this." Frankie explained with a winning smile as she flashed her pearly white teeth. "Do you think you could be a sweetheart and help me out? Pretty please?"

If she was forced to go on like this anymore, she honestly felt like she would make herself sick to her stomach; this by far was _not_ one of her proudest moments. This wasn't even close to the performance of a lifetime for her; one would probably find better acting in a fifth grade play. Fortunately for her churning gut, she had already achieved the desired result. As soon as she batted her eyelashes for good measure, in an instant the guard was bent over in his chair and leafing furiously through a small box under the counter.

"Of course!" he babbled like a nitwit as his face glowed bright scarlet. "I-I'll go check and see if-"

Frankie leaned over and tried to coo convincingly, "Oh, that's _so_ kind of you! I'm sorry for being such a nuisance, I really-"

"No, no, it's okay! No problem!" he jabbered on as he searched on, meanwhile forgetting completely about the miscreants in the room behind him. "Let me just check the Lost-and-Found here, and we'll see if… hold on, gimme a sec…"

While the two made small talk, all the while Mac and Goo wordlessly observed, unable to make heads nor tails of what they were witnessing. As the little girl's eyes almost bulged to the size of saucers in bemusement, her friend struggled to figure out whether this flirtatious girl was really in fact his guardian or not.

As if Frankie could read his mind, an instant later Mac received his answer. Once the museum guard almost buried his head in the box at his feet, Frankie's eyes darted briefly in the direction of the little ones. The second her arm shot up and she began to frantically point toward the exit with a look of utmost urgency etched all over her face, instantaneously all became clear, and automatically the children began slowly sneaking their way out, moving as silently as humanly possible.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I can't find a-" the young man started to explain as he began sit up straight once more. Immediately Frankie suppressed a yelp of dismay as she leaned further over the counter and jabbed a finger down below into the box of assorted lost items.

"A-are you sure?" she asked, praying fervently the nervous tremor in her tone didn't betray the plot that was afoot. "Maybe you just haven't looked hard enough! Please, if you could only be a-"

In her efforts to make sure he remained effectively distracted, she failed completely to realize how much she was leaning over until her wallet tumbled from her jacket pocket and landed at the guard's feet. Extremely eager to please the pretty face, he quickly blurted out, "Don't worry, I got it! I…"

As he trailed off, Frankie's heart skipped a beat as she suddenly drew in a sharp intake of breath. The mere fact that he wallet had hit the floor of course was nothing to raise a fuss about. The fact that it opened up while it landed, revealing a photo of her hugging an odd blobbish creature and two _very_ familiar children, however…

"Hey…" the bewildered fellow murmured as he glanced to her, to the photo, to her again, then started to swivel his read around. "What the….wait…these kids look...hey, they look _just_ like…"

It was about then that he spotted Goo and Mac standing halfway to the door. Once he laid eyes upon them, Frankie's face paled, while both little ones froze like a pair of deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming truck. Meanwhile, so shocked by it all honestly didn't know what to do at first, for a few seconds the guard just gawked stupidly at the others.

Completely caught in the act, the dismayed redhead wracked her mind frantically for a hasty Plan B. Unfortunately, she was too stricken with horror to come up with anything at all, and could do little more than draw a complete blank. Finally, unable to think of anything else at all in her surging panic, she tried to plant on a weak excuse for a smile, forced a chuckle, and asked, "Um……you…uh….want to…see a cool bug?"

* * *

"Oh for heaven's sake! This is absolutely _absurd_!" Mr. Herriman fumed as he checked his pocket watch. "Never in all my-"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Herriman, but could you try to settle down a little? Please?" A gangly red beanpole of an imaginary friend implored.

"Master Wilt, I specifically ordered _everyone_ to be back here on the bus at three o'clock sharp, and not one minute later!" the uptight figment snapped. "And when I stated so, I thought it was clear that there were no exceptions! When I said three, I _meant_ three! _Not_ three-eleven! Who does Miss Frances think she is by showing such flagrant disregard for our field-trip schedule? Does she think that just because she's house staff means she gets to dillydally all that she wants? This insubordination is completely unacceptable! For goodness sake, she's the driver-"

"Coco co! Cococo Coco!" an imaginary melding of plant, aircraft and bird squawked in defense of the caretaker, earning her nothing more than a stern glower.

"Miss Coco, argue as eloquently as you may please, but I simply shall not be swayed!" Mr. Herriman barked. "This is simply unthinkable! Not only is she failing her duties as resident caretaker, but she's also failing in her duties as a proper role model! As you can plainly see for your own eyes, neither Master Mac nor Miss Goo are anywhere to be seen right-"

No sooner had he spoken when as if by magic the children were suddenly right there, grasped tightly in the arms of a breathless young woman as she abruptly clambered aboard the bus. Before the startled imaginary rabbit could react, Frankie wasted not a single moment and promptly deposited the kids into the nearest empty seat, dug the keys from her sweater pocket as she took her place at the front of the bus, and in a heartbeat the bus was tearing out of the museum parking lot as if the legions of hell were pursuing them.

"Miss Frances!" Mr. Herriman yelped as he nearly flew out of his seat and into the aisle, as did half the others onboard. "My word, what are you-"

"Don't what to get caught in late afternoon traffic, do we?" Frankie managed to gasp raggedly as she swiftly improvised an excuse.

"Well…" he murmured, safely seating himself before conceding, "I guess not, but that still doesn't give you the right to drive like a maniac. Besides, if you're so concerned about getting caught in a traffic jam, then why on earth didn't you show up here as we planned-"

"Gift shop!" Mac blurted out the first thing that came to mind, as Goo quickly chimed in and elaborated.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" she squeaked, nodding furiously. "Y'see, we were about to meet you guys out here, but on the way out we came across the museum gift shop, and we were all, 'hey, let's take a couple minutes to have a little look-see', and we were like that 'cuz we had a couple extra minutes to spare, and yeah, so we were browsing around, looking at the postcards and posters and models and books, and we got so caught up over all the cool stuff they had, we just lost track of the time! Totally had no idea until we looked and the clock and were all-"

Much to Frankie's everlasting relief as she glanced up into the rearview mirror, Mr. Herriman appeared to buy into the fraudulent tale if his expression was any indication. "Well...that should teach you what happens if one dawdles too long in those dreadfully overpriced shops. Next time, _please_ be more attentive to-"

"Hey…where is Senor Bloo?" Eduardo suddenly inquired innocently after glancing around the bus in hopes of finding the imaginary blob.

After immediately letting loose with a howl of dismay, Frankie abruptly jerked the wheel and without even thinking, did a spectacular u-turn, sending almost everyone flying to the left side of the bus as she began yelling, "Oh, for the love of-"

* * *

_ROWRRRR_!"

Obviously, the flocks of children examining the fossilized tyrannosaurus hadn't been expecting the long-dead beast to suddenly erupt into a ferocious roar. The second the fearsome cry rang out, the little ones burst out screaming in terror and immediately fled to safety, scared half to death that the massive skeleton was ready to start gobbling them down one by one.

While the crowd of kids dispersed, Bloo started giggling gleefully as he tucked his little stubs behind his head, made himself comfortable inside the skull, and patiently waited for his next victims. "Best…idea…_ever_."

**The End **


	2. As Safe as Playing with Fire

"Oh _please_ don't tell me that…that…"

The excruciatingly frantic young woman shamelessly begged as she could feel her heart sank into her stomach in despair. Unfortunately, as it quickly became all-too-clear, no amount of desperate pleading was enough to wipe the frown off the miserable little blob standing before her. With a sigh, Bloo gazed sadly into her eyes as he gave his report.

"I…I-I looked everywhere, Frankie…we _all_ did, but…I'm sorry, there's still no sign of-"

"_No_!" Frances "Frankie" Foster immediately burst out yelping, unable to handle the awful truth. "No, that's…th-that's…no, no, it just can't be! He's gotta be around here somewhere, he just has to be! Are you sure you remembered to check-"

"We looked _everywhere_." The azure imaginary friend repeated glumly. "And…and Mac _still_ hasn't been found yet."

Judging by how ghastly her pallor had become, it was as if Frankie had just received a death sentence as she continued to try and stubbornly refuse to believe in this living nightmare.

"No, no you guys just haven't been looking hard enough." She argued defiantly as the hot tears started to well up in her emerald eyes. "Maybe…maybe he's just-"

For once in his life, as totally unbelievable as it was, Bloo appeared to be holding the position of the voice of reason as he just shook his head and interrupted morosely, "Frankie…M-Mac's been missing for _two days_ already."

"N-n…n-n-n…n-no…." Frankie whimpered defiantly as she could feel her heart plummet into her stomach in absolute despair. "Th-that…that doesn't mean _anything_, we'll find him -"

"How do we know that he's even lost?" the imaginary blob suddenly pointed out with a dead-serious expression. "I mean…look, we don't even know yet, but…I dunno, maybe…y'know how he once mentioned about running off to…you remember…"

Usually, whenever Bloo cooked up a theory about literally anything, the redhead would normally be one of the very first to discard it like a piece of trash. However, strange as it sounded, the second he tossed out the suggestion, Frankie's eyeballs instantly bulged to the size of saucers.

"You…y-you don't think that…th-that he was…that he _actually_…" she started stammering uncontrollably.

"I really don't know! I don't!" Bloo cried as he started patting her shoulder. "It's…I'm sorry, but…I mean, there's this such a high chance that he actually….y'know…ran away…to join the circus…. "

Even though what came out of his mouth was absolutely ridiculous, judging by her horrified gasp, it sounded as if the normally sensible young woman actually believed him, outright bizarre as it sounded.

"N-no!" she sputtered. "Not…not the…"

"But we don't know that yet, okay?" he reassured with a poorly stifled giggle. "We just don't know. Look, look, everyone else is gonna continue looking, and while we do that, how about you just stay here, and see if the police call back with any updates, all right? Here's the phone…"

"All…a-all right…" Frankie whispered hoarsely as she wiped her eyes. "Th-thank you, Bloo…"

As she thanked him, a genuine grin started to snake its way across Bloo's face as he lit up with unmistakable delight. As he clapped a blobby appendage over his mouth to try and conceal his smile and also muffle a giggle or two, the little imaginary friend hopped off the bed and started slowly backing out of the bedroom.

"It's...it's okay…" he tried to assure around his laughter, while the panic-stricken redhead didn't appear to notice a single thing. "Just remember to ask him to check if they asked _all_ the circus clowns, okay? You remember how Mac always said that he wanted to-"

"He did?" she whimpered confusedly. "But…well, if you say so…"

"Don't worry" Bloo tittered. "It's okay, we'll find Mac-"

"Find _who_?" an immensely familiar voice inquired bewilderedly from directly behind.

Almost instantaneously, Bloo's mirth met a swift demise while his skin tone paled noticeably and he temporarily went as frozen as a statue as he was hopelessly caught red-handed in the act. With eyes almost popping from their sockets, he managed to take a hard gulp, and slowly began to turn around as he attempted to plant on a woefully fake smile.

"H-hi, b-b-buddy," he murmured softly to the astonished brown-haired boy standing right there in the threshold of Frankie's bedroom. "Back s-so…so soon?"

Wide-eyed in confusion, the tremendously puzzled child glanced from his undeniably guilty-looking imaginary friend, to his feverish, nightgown-garbed guardian sitting atop her bed, where she appeared as panicked as could possibly be, before he demanded flatly, "_What_ is going on?"

"Bloo?" the sickly caretaker whined as she listened intently to the ripe banana that the blob had handed her. "Bloo, the police haven't called back yet! What if…what if they haven't found any clues where Mac went yet? W-what if the circus already left town, and…a-and-"

"Oh, _no_!" Mac yelled in dismay as soon as he figured it all out. Without wasting a second, he tossed aside the damp washcloth in his hands and bolted over to the ailing young woman's side.

"Frankie, no! No, it's okay!" he yelped as he scrambled up onto her bed. "Look, I'm right here! It's okay, I'm right here, I'm-"

"Mac?" Frankie squeaked hopefully the instant she jerked her head around and laid eyes upon him. Immediately, she discarded her "phone" and clumsily swept up the child into a rib-bruising hug.

"Mac! Mac! _Mac_!" she started squealing joyously while she held him close and started nuzzling him furiously. "Oh, pal! I…I was so worried about you!"

"_Ackpth_!" Mac sputtered as the indescribably relieved young woman started planting kisses all over his cheeks and forehead, and unfortunately increasing the chances of passing on whatever flu bug she had caught. "No! Wait, wait, wait! Frankie, hold it! Wait, wait, wait!"

Alas, his pleas were totally fruitless, as the delirious redhead was simply too caught up in the illusion that her charge had just returned after running away. As she contently squeezed him in another lovingly fierce bear hug, Mac ceased his squirming, and shot his imaginary friend a look that could kill.

"Bloo, what did you do _now_?" he snapped angrily. Trying to play as innocent as he could, the little blob just shrugged and tried to flash a disarming smile.

"What? I was just checking up on her, when she started rambling on and on about-_OW_! _OUCH_!"

Even though she held a bottle of aspirin in one hand and a water bottle in the other, that still didn't prevent the little girl still standing in the doorway from lashing out with a swift physical reprimand. Wearing an ugly scowl, Goo kicked him sharply twice in the rear with her banana-yellow cowboy boots as she burst out chattering furiously.

"Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Don't say you have no idea what's going on, because you so do know exactly completely what's going on! You were messing around with Frankie's head because she's sick and super feverish and stuff, which actually makes _you_ the biggest sicko here because Mac and I were only gone for five minutes, just _five_ minutes, and now you have her totally freaking out because-"

"Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh!" he protested as he rubbed an aching behind. "I didn't do _anything_! Frankie _always_ gets totally loopy when she gets a high fever, and-"

"And you _always_ try and confuse her when she does!" Mac growled while he was still being strongly cuddled. "Remember _last_ time? You put on _Lauren Goes Explorin'_ and you convinced her that the TV was talking to her! Bloo, do we have to go over this again? It's _not_ funny, it's just…it's just mean!"

"Nuh-uh!" Bloo shot back defiantly and crossed his arms. "I didn't do a single thing, I was just keeping an eye on her when-"

"Oh, thank goodness we finally find you! Now you can help me!" Frankie, whose current grip on reality was still woefully flimsy at best, burst out babbling gratefully before she tucked Mac under her arm and crawled over to the side of her bed.

"Hey, _hey_!" the boy cried as he struggled in vain to break free. "Frankie, what is it? What's wrong? I _told_ you, it's all right, I'm fine-"

"_Shhh_!" the delirious caretaker held a finger to her lips and urgently hushed him as she peered down cautiously at the floor. "Quiet! You don't want to scare him away, do you?"

"Scare _who_?" Mac asked exasperatedly as he managed to wiggle out of her grasp. "Who are you-"

"The gremlin!" she whispered urgently as she kept her watchful vigil. "The gremlin under my bed! Bloo…B-Bloo told me he still has my wallet, and… and unless I-I want to see my credit card again…"

As Frankie rambled on and on, Bloo meanwhile cringed uncontrollably as both children glared daggers his way and stabbed him with their piercing glares.

"So…you didn't do _anything_, huh?" Goo spat while her lips curled into an ugly snarl, as Mac meanwhile tended to Frankie.

"It's okay…it's okay…" he whispered reassuringly as he stroked her head and hugged her like she was a fussy baby. "It's okay Frankie, don't worry…"

"But…but the gremlin…" she protested weakly as he tried to settle her down and move her from the edge of her bed. "Mac, I need your help…h-he has my driver's license…he…"

"Don't worry," the boy sighed and rolled his eyes as he humored her. "I'll…I'll, uh…I'll catch him for you later. Don't worry, it's be-"

"You don't understand." She protested, still waiting patiently for the 'gremlin' to appear. "B-Bloo says that he-"

"Oh come _on_!" the little imaginary friend protested. "You're really going to take _her_ word over _mine_?"

Just seconds later he found himself cringing and whimpering pathetically as Goo's piercing gaze sent him the obvious answer. Swiftly realizing there was little chance he was going to worm out of this mess without being branded the one at fault for Frankie's trauma, the azure figment quickly sent his mind racing for another tactic.

"Okay, okay, okay, so I got her a _little_ worked up…" he granted before pointing out in a last-ditch effort to defend himself, "But…I got her to think that a banana was a telephone and that you might have joined the circus…I mean, you gotta admit, that's _pretty_ funny, right? Right?"

If he thought his phony smile and lame excuse was going to save him, then he had to be totally out of his mind as the little girl quickly cooked up a suitable retribution. Still keeping her eyes locked upon him, Goo used her foot to slam the bedroom door behind her, much to Bloo's tremendous unease.

"Uh…Goo? Goo, what're you-"

"Hey, Frankie!" she cried out, and effectively nabbed hold of the delirious woman's attention.

"Huh?" Frankie whined as she turned her head. "What is it?"

Still clutching the aspirin and water, the child lifted her leg and pointed at the miscreant blob with a cowboy boot.

"_There's_ your gremlin." The little girl announced.

Instantaneously, the ailing redhead broke out into a vicious snarl while the raging fires flared up in her eyes. Before Bloo could realize what was happening, the young woman had already deposited Mac safely aside before she actually lunged off her bed with a vengeful roar.

"GIMME BACK MY WALLET, YOU THIEF!"

"_AUGH_! Frankie, don't-_AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!"

* * *

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, everybody!" The pigtailed little girl greeted as she bounced into the bedroom with a hopeful smile. "Feelin' better today? Huh? Did the nasty fever go down at all yet? Huh?"

The question was more or less for courtesy's sake, for it was hardly difficult to see that a certain caretaker was well on the road to recovery after a good night's rest. Hardly the feverish, hallucinating wreck of a human being she was the day before, Frankie managed a weak grin as she turned her attention away from her small TV, while Mac meanwhile sat perched on her lap where he had been keeping her company.

"_Much_ better." The young woman chuckled as she reached over to give the child a welcoming pat on the head. "Partially thanks to your guys' help…I _think_, at least…"

As she grimaced while she struggled to remember what the day before was like, it became quite easy to see she couldn't recall much, if anything.

"_Blech_, I must've been a fright yesterday." Frankie murmured apologetically. "And probably out of my mind…as usual. Sorry if I freaked any of you out, or if I started-"

"It's okay, you couldn't help it." Mac smiled and reassured. "At least the worst of it is over, right?"

"_Thankfully_." His guardian laughed before glancing back down to Goo and patting her mattress invitingly. "Care to join?"

"Sure!" the little girl chirped as she clambered up and plopped herself down. As Frankie scooted over to make room, she suddenly spotted a flash of azure out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, hey Bloo!" she kindly greeted the familiar little face as he passed on by the doorway. "Hey, you wan to join us-"

Bloo froze, took one look into her emerald eyes, and it was as if he just had a vision of hell. Immediately, he erupted into an extraordinarily shrill screech of pure terror, and in an instant he was off like a shot, rushing for safety lest he suffered a repeat of the day before. In no time he had vanished from sight, leaving behind one very, _very_ flummoxed redhead.

"…What the…what was _that_ all about?" she asked the children as she floundered in confusion.

As Mac rolled his eyes and shook his head, Goo unsuccessfully held back a snicker or two as she answered, "How about we say that the gremlin got the best of him yesterday?"

As her sniggers quickly evolved into a full-fledged case of the giggles, Frankie just gawked bemusedly before she sighed heavily. "You know…I think for once in my life, I _don't_ even wanna know…"

**The End**


	3. The Great Escape

"…I will _not_ stand for this! Oooh, I swear, that child works my last nerve on a daily basis…"

The finely attired imaginary rabbit grumbled darkly to himself as he hopped down the hallway, much to the alarm of the ridiculously lanky creature trailing on his heels.

"Mr. Herriman, hold on!" Wilt shamelessly begged for the umpteenth time as he followed. "I'm sorry, I know you're upset, but she didn't _mean_ to break that downstairs window, I swear-"

"Master Wilt, _please_!" The profoundly exasperated Mr. Herriman effectively cut him off in mid-sentence as he continued to race along. "I'm in no mood for-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" the gangly imaginary friend immediately began to apologize. "But she was _just_ kicking around a soccer ba-"

"I understand your concern for the welfare of Miss Frances." Mr. Herriman explained distractedly as he stormed through the hall. "But she of all people should know that indoor sports activities of any sort are _strictly_ forbidden by house rules, and thus I have no choice but to severely reprimand her for-"

"But-"

"I just _can't_ allow this to stand! Miss Frances needs to understand that actions have consequences, and if she thinks she can simply flee from me forever in order to escape due punishment, then-"

"I'm sorry, but she's _just_ a little kid! What do you expect her to do?" the frantic lanky figment cried.

"If I have any say to it, she'll pay the full price for her rowdy mischief-making!" came the curt reply. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

Wilt whimpered as soon as he realized he had little choice but to watch the experienced authoritarian storm along on the warpath.

"All right, enough is enough!" Mr. Herriman's roar reverberated throughout the hall. "There's no need to try and continue this futile came of cat-and-mouse, Miss Frances! I know for a fact I heard the patter of tiny feet around here, and trust me, these ears don't lie! Don't you dare think you can run from me for- _AHA_! _There_ you are, young lady!"

A panicked squeal rang out as a brief flash of hair could be spotted disappearing around a corner up ahead. Mr. Herriman hastily picked up his pace and surged forward like a hound on the hunt, leaving Wilt trailing far behind.

"It's all over, Miss Frances!" he barked as he momentarily transformed into a silvery gray blur. "Did you really think you could blatantly violate house stature and then escape me? Just wait until your grandmother hears of our little epic pursuit, you ruffian-"

"_AAAAAUUUUGGGGHH_!" the gruff bellow echoed from the attic rafters all the way down to the basement the instant Mr. Herriman rounded the corner, startling the stern fury clean out of him.

Of course, seeing as how just moments before he had popped around the turn while grimacing angrily like a stone gargoyle, it swiftly became extraordinarily simple to see that that violet-furred bullish imaginary friend and his birdlike companion couldn't help but be a little spooked.

"_AUGH_!" Eduardo yelped again in fright as he stumbled back a bit and took refuge behind a nearby houseplant. "Senor Herriman, please! Don't _do_ that!"

"Oh, dear!" the initially mortified Mr. Herriman blurted out in severe embarrassment the instant he realized what he had done. "My goodness! Master Eduardo, I'm so sorry-"

"Coco co cococo co!" Coco flapped her stubby wings and chirped indignantly, while the thoroughly embarrassed rabbit just nodded furiously in affirmation.

"Oh no, of _course_ not!" Mr. Herriman babbled as a vibrant crimson blush began to peek slightly through his fur. "How could you think that? I swear, I had no intention of purposely scaring either of you! Miss Coco, I can only offer you my deepest apologies for-"

"Why you be so nasty spooky anyways?" Ed inquired in a low whimper as he peeked from behind his woefully undersized refuge.

"Believe me, Master Eduardo," the sincerely contrite rabbit continued. "I had no desire to give either of you such a nasty fright, I was merely trying to…hold on a moment, where on earth is-"

"Huh?" the stupefied Wilt grunted incredulously the instant he finally caught up and arrived upon the peculiar scene. He only needed to take one look around before muttering dumbly, "Wait…_where's_ Frankie?"

Mr. Herriman scratched his head and gazed about wide-eyed in pained bewilderment.

"My thoughts exactly." The horrendously befuddled figment groaned in lament as he carefully scanned the area. "Where did that girl go? For goodness sake, she was _barely_ ahead of us, where on earth could she have-"

His fog of confusion however was quickly lifted when Coco suddenly lifted a leg and pointed it towards the end of the hallway.

"Coco co!" she trilled urgently, to which the rabbit gasped in disbelief.

"You mean she already passed you by?" he exclaimed. "Miss Frances just went right through here? Are you serious?"

"Coco!" she nodded furiously, to which he clapped a hand to his forehead and elicited a despairing moan.

"Good heavens! Ooooh that does it, as soon as I'm through with her, I will cut down her sugar intake as soon as possible! I swear, how on earth she's related to my creator, I'll never know…"

Uttering nothing more than a severely aggravated groan, Mr. Herriman wasted not a second more and in an instant was back on the hunt. Within moments the determined pursuer had hopped off out of sight, leaving nothing but a pair of slightly shaken imaginary friends and their indescribably confused companion.

For a few moments, the dumbstruck Wilt stood as motionless as a scarlet flagpole. There was no other way of putting it, the poor thing was utterly stunned beyond belief that Foster's sole resident child had seemed to pull off the absolute impossible and narrowly escape the house authoritarian with only a few feet between the two. Going slack-jawed, he silently wracked his brain in his attempt to make sense of the surprising turn of events.

"W-Wilt?" Eduardo whined concernedly as he cautiously edged forward until he could give his friend's arm a gentle tug. "Wilt? You okay?"

At first, Wilt could do little but wordlessly shake his head.

"N-n-n…n-no…" he mumbled honestly. "I…wait, guys, _how_ fast was Frankie going when she was-"

Although the fact that Ed immediately began to guiltily blush as red as a beetroot should've been aa dead giveaway that things were far from what they seemed, Wilt failed to notice this at all as he suddenly spotted the large green plastic egg out of the corner of his eye.

For a few seconds, all he could do was stare blankly as everything suddenly fell into place. Although upon first glance it seemed like any of the other such eggs Coco randomly laid a dozen times a day, he _sincerely_ doubted that he had ever seen one of them this large, or one that trembled uncontrollably on its very own accord before now.

"What the…" he murmured as he bent down over the anomaly and slowly reached out to touch it.

"_YEEEEK_! Go 'way! Go 'way!" A familiar voice squealed shrilly in surprise from inside her makeshift refuge.

"Cococo coco co!"

"_OW_!"

In an instant a profoundly frantic Coco was standing defensively over the egg and squawking like a panicked mother hen before lashing out with a sharp peck to his hand. Hastily Wilt withdrew his arm, gritted his teeth and broke out into a mad hopping dance of pain.

"Coco, _what_ are you doing?" he cried, as she remained firm in her protective stance and just glared fiercely. "Guys, what on earth is-"

"Shhhh! No so loud!" Eduardo blurted out in a heavily accented whine as he held a finger to his lips.

"Not so loud?" Wilt blurted out. "I'm sorry, guys, but I just-"

"Coco co!"

"Si! Si! Please, you mustn't be so muy noisy! We no want Senor Her-"

Their gangly friend suddenly paled in horror the instant he understood their alarm. Wasting not a moment more he clapped a hand tightly over his mouth, but alas, their efforts were all for naught.

"_I AM NO FOOL_!" A nearby enraged roar almost deafened them all where they stood and practically shook the house of its very foundations as a certain rabbit finally realized he had just been tricked. Less than a moment later, an immensely annoyed Mr. Herriman turned a corner and stormed down towards the trio, all the while looking fit to burst with rage.

"I should've guessed earlier! I should've known!" he murmured furiously to himself as he quaked uncontrollably with frustration. "It's absolutely ridiculous to think a child can run _that_ swiftly! I should've guessed the moment I saw her cursed excuse for a hiding-place i. There's no way on earth that can be only mere coincidence, I will _not_ allow myself to be had by…"

Wilt and Eduardo only had the chance to look on in horror before it felt like Mr. Herriman was upon them all in a moment.

"Wait, don't-" the gangly creation tried to speak out.

"Senor Herriman-" Ed attempted to bravely chime in as together they tried to form a makeshift living barrier.

"_MOVE_!" Mr. Herriman barked ferociously, and with the strength borne of colossal aggravation he plowed between the two with barely a show of effort as he approached Coco and pointed directly to the egg.

"Miss Coco, step aside!" he ordered flatly. "_NOW_."

To the others' disbelief, she didn't even so much as bat an eyelid as she gazed back calmly for a few moments before casually making a quick sidestep, leaving the large plastic egg completely exposed, much to the shock of her slack-jawed companions.

"This ends _now_, Miss Frances!" Mr. Herriman scolded as he bent down and scooped it up into his arms. "Ooooh, and if you think you were in trouble before, then you have no idea! Nice try, young lady, but clever hiding places and allies are absolutely no match for-"

He opened it up, and much to his total astonishment and the bafflement of almost everyone else present, he saw that he had just been reprimanding a brightly colored spinning top for the last few seconds. Mr. Herriman's jaw nearly hit the floor as he stared stupidly at the silly prize, and continued to do so for what seemed like an eternity as a tense silence settled upon the group.

Finally, after Lord only knew how long, he slowly craned his neck, glanced at the equally befuddled Eduardo and Wilt, back at the opened egg, and then to Coco, who just smiled goofily like a nitwit.

"…Um….uh…n-never mind…" he finally muttered in a barely audible whisper. "My…my mistake…so sorry to accuse any of you of wrongdoing…"

With that he speechlessly set the egg down, turned around, and quietly exited in a perplexed daze. As soon as he had vacated the scene, an extremely stunned Wilt quizzically gazed at the foolishly grinning Coco.

"C-Coco?" he stammered uncontrollably in tremendous shock. "Where…w-where is…w-wait, I thought…"

Before he could stutter out another word she suddenly zipped over to the unsuspecting Eduardo, who automatically let loose with a wail of fright as she darted around him, poked deep into his thick fur with her crooked beak…and fished out one slightly shaken and _very_ mystified five-year-old little girl.

"_Huh_?" Frances "Frankie" Foster whimpered after spitting out a mouthful of hair, making it perfectly clear she had no idea what just happened to her.

The others gawked in dead silence, unsure of whether they should be joyous or astounded out of their minds by the impossible switch-off that had jut occurred. Coco smirked as she calmly set the child down upon the floor and began to preen her of the violet strands of fur still covering her.

"Senorita Frankie?" Eduardo murmured as he checked himself over in case any other small children were hiding in the jungle of hair upon his back. "How you get in there?"

"I…I-I…I d-don't know…" the little one confessed miserably, snow o baffled that she was genuinely upset.

After they about like a bunch of dimwitted ninnies in mute astonishment for a few awkward moments, Wilt plodded over and reached down to gave the excruciatingly bewildered child a comforting pat on the head. While Frankie automatically latched tightly onto his leg with a hoarse whine, he continued to reassuringly tousle her flaming scarlet hair for a little bit until finally, he managed to glance up at the triumphant Coco and utter the one thing that was on his mind.

"Wow….you're _good_…"

**The End **


	4. Wait, We Have 51 States Now?

"…So what's this one here?"

"New York."

"And?"

"The capital is…uh…Albany!"

"Good! So about _this_ one right here-"

"Montana!"

"Right! So if that's Montana, then the capital is….c'mon, you know the drill…"

"Um…it's…."

"You want a hint-"

"_Helena_! The capital is Helena!" the nine-year-old gasped elatedly out as the answer finally came to him, to which his lanky redheaded tutor broke out into a massive grin.

"Oooh, almost got you _that_ time, didn't I?" Frances "Frankie" Foster teased as she gave him a quick pat on the head.

"Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! No way!" Mac laughed, playfully batting her hand away as he stuck out his tongue. "I just had to wait a second, I knew it alllll along!"

"Ha! Says you!" The caretaker countered, blowing a sloppy raspberry at her pupil. "Well, Mister Scholar, if you think you know everything there is, then I guess there's no need for us to review anymor- _quick, what's this one here_?" she barked, jabbing at a particular landmass in the large atlas they were using for a makeshift study guide.

"Arkansas! And its capital is Little Rock!" Mac fired right back with a comically jubilant smirk.

"_Perfect_!" Frankie whooped, giving her student a celebratory high-five. "I know a certain _someone_ who's gonna get an A-plus on their test on state capitals tomorrow!" she crooned in a comical singsong manner.

"Hey, can we do a few more?" The chestnut-haired child eagerly inquired, squirming about excitedly where he laid seated Indian-style upon the floor. The young woman cocked her head curiously as she began to close the book.

"_More_?" she grunted incredulously. "Mac, I think we've done every state at least three times, there's really only so man timesy I can ask where Denver is--"

"Please?" The boy begged, clasping his lightly hands tightly. "C'mon, Frankie, just a couple more? Like, five or six, and then I'll be all set, I promise!"

"Well…" the girl paused to muse over this for a few moments before breaking out into a wan grin as she cracked the atlas back open. "Okay, you win. But only a few more, and then it's time for you to get your butt in bed, you hear me?"

"Yup! Got it!" Mac trilled happily, forcing a few laughs out of the redhead.

"Haha! If I had a quarter for every time I've seen someone get _this_ excited over geography…I'd have exactly twenty-five cents." She teased as they continued their review. "Okay, now can you name this big one for me here, and tell me-"

"Easy!" the boy yelped upon instant recognition. "It's-"

"_CANADA_!"

Immediately Frankie's bedroom was shrouded in complete silence upon the abrupt mention of the random nation. For a few horrendously awkward moments, both child and young woman just gawked at each other quietly; each of them furiously trying to figure out whether what they had just heard was a hallucinatory by-product of far too much studying one evening or not.

"…Wait, Bloo, _what_ did you just say?" Mac asked confoundedly, not even needing to turn his head to confirm that it indeed the moronically grinning azure blob standing in the doorway. Beaming triumphantly from nonexistent ear to nonexistent ear, the little imaginary friend paraded happily into the room.

"Ha! I _totally_ beat you on _that_ one!" he bragged unashamedly, puffing out his little chest in a surge of pride.

"Uh…" His stunned creator murmured dumbly.

"Oooh, what's the matter, Mr. Boy-Genius?" Bloo sniggered, prodding his best friend in the arm. "Huh? Can't take it that I managed to totally floor you on your own turf?"

"That you managed what?" The utterly perplexed Frankie muttered, the blob's self-sung praises thoroughly confusing her. "Wait, what are you talking abou-"

"Pfft!" The tremendously immodest little creature scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "Oh, yeah right! _You_ just don't wanna admit that after all the work you've done, I came in and totally owned your star pupil like _that_! Heehee, where's all your precious study-time now, Miss World's Greatest Tutor?"

For what felt like an eternity, the duo just stared blankly at the extraordinarily arrogant imaginary friend until Mac finally corrected flatly, "…Bloo…that's not Canada, that's California."

"Oh, yeah, nice try!" Bloo guffawed. "Can't fool me, that's so definitely-"

"_California_, that's the state of_ California_." Frankie reiterated steadfastly before attempting to leave it at that as she tried to resume the study session. Unfortunately, rather than drop the subject, to the caretaker's annoyance Bloo began hooting exuberantly while beaming so brightly he nearly lit up the whole room.

"Hahahaha! Looks like Tweedledum and Tweedledumber are as bright as a couple of rocks when it comes to basic geogeraphrahy."

At this Frankie promptly broke out into a wry grimace, looking disgusted with the figment's atrocious ignorance at this point. "You did _not_ just say-"

"I'm afraid so, Mister and Missus Smarty-Pants." Bloo joyfully mocked the pair. "I just one-upped the _both_ of you. Ha, whadya say to that? Hmm? Looks like you two have a _looooong_ way to go before you're done here, by the looks of it."

As the nitwit of an imaginary friend smiled foolishly in his triumph, once again the room became so eerily quiet one could hear a strand of hair drop.

"Bloo…" Frankie began in a low whisper.

"Yeah?"

"CANADA IS _NOT_ A STATE!" The exasperated redhead bellowed while the extravagantly triumphant little blob continued to smirk like a nitwit.

"Oh, suck it up, will ya? Just because _you're_ wrong doesn't mean that you need to throw a tantrum over-"

"No, just because _you_ insist on replacing entire _states_ with completely random _countries_ doesn't mean you can just walk on in and infect us with your stupidity!" The redhead snarled ferociously. "I swear, I think I've gotten a little dumber since you walked in here!"

"Oh come on, _now_ what are you talking about?" Bloo groaned, looking annoyed with the irked young woman. "First you try to tell me I don't know my forty states, and now you're talking about _what_?"

"This isn't rocket-science!" she growled. "_I_ can't just point to New York and call it Spain, and _you_ can't-"

"What? Frankie, what are you talking about? It's not like I pointed to Canada and said 'Oh no, that's not the twenty-third state, birthplace of the American auto industry, rolling cornfields and famous for its seaside resorts, that's actually _France_.' Hey, look, I don't know about _you_ guys, but _I_ watched the History Channel a few times, and I can tell you whether I'm looking at a bona-fide state, and-"

"No, no you _can't_! That's the point!" Mac groaned. "Bloo, if that's Canada, then _where_ did California go?"

"What the heck are you two talkin' about? California? _There_? Oh, so now we're just gonna pretend that an entire state just magically got up, walked clear across the country, and then just stole someone else's place, just to prove you guys right? Look, I don't know what's going on in _your_ brains at the moment, but how can California just stand up and get to Canada's spot all the waaaaaaay from over here on the east coast?" he demanded boldly, pointing at the map to illustrate his point.

"…We'll tell you," the severely irritated redhead growled, "As soon as _you_ tell _us_ how Rhode Island can be two states at once."

" Oh, are you _kidding_ me?" Bloo moaned in frustration. "You two are worse at this than I thought! How badly can you get your states mixed up? Honestly, is it that hard for you to tell where Rhode Island is?"

"Not if we use the labels on the map-" Mac tried to explain in defense of rationality, but to little avail.

"The name practically gives it all away! _Island_! See?" Bloo grumbled, jabbing furiously at the map. "They don't just call it "Rhode," they added the last part of the name for a reason, y'know!"

"Bloo…" The little boy muttered wearily in disappointment as he watched his friend furiously point to Hawaii over and over. "Seriously-"

"So, if _that's_ supposed to be Canada, then what do you call _this_?" Frankie abruptly hissed ill temperedly, jabbing at the image of the large nation positioned directly north of the United States. "If that's not Canada, then-"

"Public Enemy Number One." The little creature announced confidently, pushing the other's utter exacerbation to new levels never imagined in their wildest dreams.

"….You're just trying to mess with our minds now, right?" Mac muttered incredulously, while Frankie swiftly suppressed the near overwhelming urge to beat herself over the head with the massive atlas to end her torture.

Rather than launch into another self-righteous tirade, however, the little blob suddenly started glaring coldly two as if they were a pair of lowlife criminals.

"Um….Boo?" Inquired his bemused creator, perplexed by the abrupt mood swing.

"You okay?" Frankie asked curiously.

"Ohhhh,…oh, _now_ I see how it is." Bloo sneered. "I get it…you're both one of _them_, aren't you?"

"One of…wait, one of _who_?" Mac sighed.

"Y'know, it's precisely because of people like _you_ that the war on terrorism didn't start any sooner!" the little creature growled, his tiny body quivering with a surge of patriotism-induced fury. "All people like you do is do is sit on your fat butts, and you have literally no idea how the Soviet Union is sittin' right there directly to the north of us, where our enemies can just mosey on in as they please across the border-"

"_BLOO_!" Frankie suddenly let loose with an ear-splitting shriek, unable to endure the bombardment of illogic anymore. "I'm _not_ gonna let you accuse us of being unpatriotic just because_-_"

"Well _I'm_ not gonna just stand here while you feel yourselves into believing that -"

"Bloo, we're only studying state capitals!" Mac protested vehemently. "You're _not_ making any sense!"

"Me? Hey, _you_ two are the ones who don't know which end is up! I'm just trying to help you guys out here" Bloo countered as he put his atrocious knowledge of geography hard at work. "Seriously, Frankie, what kind of garbage have you been trying to teach Mac here? I mean, if this is the best you can do, then it looks like you wasted a _lot_ of time at college-"

"For the last time, _Canada is not a state_!" Frankie howled in her barely containable frustration. "It's a completely different country!"

"Do you _really_ believe that?" Bloo muttered as he began eyeing her suspiciously. "Or…is that what _you_ want Mac to believe?"

"_What_?" the befuddled caretaker yelped as the blob went on.

"Tell me, is your hair _really_ red, or do you just dye it every day to show your support for-"

"_Stop_ it!" Mac wailed exasperatedly. "Bloo, Frankie's not a communist, the Soviet Union doesn't exist any more! It was over before either of us lived! How do _you_ know what is even is-"

"Freedom of the press!" Bloo shot back boldly. "In case you've forgotten, we have a little thing here called the sixth amendment, and it gives me the right to know the truth, and nothing but the truth on what's really going on in this world, and so I have the right to turn on the History Channel whenever –"

"What makes you think that the History Channel told you that the Soviet Union still existed?" Frankie snapped. "You're not making any sense! _You_ probably just weren't paying attention when-"

"I'll tell you what doesn't make any sense, you and this stupid freedom-hating ideology you're trying to fill my buddy's head with, now _that_ doesn't-"

"She's _not_ communist!" Mac groaned. "Frankie's just helping me with-"

"Yeah, yeah, call her dirty propaganda whatever you want." His creation instinctively brushed the logical objections aside. "Look, buddy, if you want Chairman Foster here to fill your head with her sick, warped version of reality, than go ahead, but keep me out of-"

"Canada is _not_ part of the United States!" Frankie roared as her final shred of patience dwindled away. "It's _not_!"

"Stop it! Stop it!" Bloo cried defiantly, clamping his blobbish stubs tightly over the sides of his head. "I don't want to hear your filthy, lies, you hear me? I know what I'm talking about, and you know what? I also know when I hear dirty, hateful-"

"No, the problem is you _think_ you know what you're talking about, when you have _no_ idea at all!" Frankie hissed as she crawled over and stared him straight in the eyes. "Now, you're going to knock this off, look at this atlas, and then tell me if-"

"You're a grand old flag, you're a high-flying flag, and forever in peace may your waaaaave…." The obstinate azure blob suddenly began to caterwaul at the top of his lungs. "You're the emblem of the land that I love-"

"_BLOOOOOOOOO_!"

* * *

"Mac? Frankie?" Wilt asked as he gently nudged the bedroom door open. "Hey, how's the studying going-"

And like that, the words promptly died upon his lips as the lanky imaginary friend's jaw nearly hit the floor the instant he laid eyes on the utter chaos that lay before him.

"Say it! Say it! _Say_ it!" Frankie growled angrily while pressing a madly struggling blob face-first into the atlas. "Just read the label on the map, and _tell_ me what it says! Tell me that-"

"_NEVER_!" Bloo howled as he thrashed about wildly. "You can't make me! I refuse!"

"_SAY_ _IT_!" the young woman snarled. "Just read the stupid map and tell me the _truth_! Canada is a separate country! A _country_!"

"Yeah, right! That's exactly what you _want_ me to think, fiend!" her captive squealed. "I'd rather die than-"

"Well that's exactly what you're gonna do if you don't-"

"Frankie, please! _STOP_!" Mac howled for what felt like the twentieth time in a row as he hung on grimly to her back in a feeble attempt to lug her off his creation. "_Please_! Forget about it! Just let it go! This is crazy!"

"Crazy? _CRAZY_?" she snapped, her jade eyes burning like twin infernos. "Nuh-uh! Letting him call _me_ a communist over and over just because _I_ actually have a clue about geography, _that's_ crazy!"

"But-"

"Bloo, just say it!" Frankie reiterated fiercely once more as she pinned her prisoner's face down into the book. "We can end this right now if you just-"

"Oh beeeeautifulllllll, for spaaaaaaacious skies…."

"_ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHH_!"

After gawking slack jawed at the terrible spectacle for a few seconds, Wilt finally managed to overcome his initial surprise, and immediately he swooped into the fray. In a flash, he had clumsily wrapped a winding arm about the frustrated caretaker's waist and yanked her up off Bloo, thus putting an end to the madness.

For the next few moments, Frankie just heaved for breath and glared daggers at a certain azure figment while she dangled a few feet off the ground. Bloo meanwhile took cover behind his creator, from where he glowered at the redhead. As the two fiercely stared each other down, Wilt and Mac meanwhile just passed each other nervous glances.

Finally, the little boy took a hard swallow, tried to put on an excuse for a smile, and attempted to ease the thick tension by looking on the brighter side of an otherwise unpleasant situation. "Well…at _least_ this isn't as bad as what happened when we tried reviewing multiplication tables last week…"

**The End**


	5. Monkey See, Monkey Do

"…Mac? M-Mac? You awake? Mac? Y-y-you awake? You awake, Mac? M-M-Mac? You awake?"

After a good minute or so, the relentless barrage of quavering whispers and sharp prods to his shoulder finally managed to rouse the little boy out of a deep, deep slumber. After managing to force his eyelids halfway open, Mac took a few moments to let his vision adjust to the darkness that enveloped the bedroom, managed to make out the hour of the night on his electric alarm clock.

Once he recognized the little blob by his bedside, the child flopped onto his back, imploringly gazed heavenwards, and finally let out a long, aggravated moan. After all, it was only a little after midnight, and his imaginary friend was right here, looking so traumatized by something he practically resembled the sole survivor of a plane crash; now when was _that_ ever an occasion to be joyous?

"What is it, Bloo?" Mac grumbled as he gazed up dozily at his clearly shaken creation.

Wringing his little hands fretfully, the azure imaginary friend took a few deep breaths to try and compose himself, and then started to whimper piteously, "I…I-I…I had a…a…M-Mac, I had a…a…I had a… I had a…"

"…A bad dream?" Mac finished incredulously as he tried rubbing the sleep from his eyes, to little avail; his eyelids still sagged like someone had attached leaden weights to them.

Nodding softly, the spooked little creature simply replied in a barely-audible murmur, "Uh-huh."

Instead of attempting to reassure his friend, the boy merely gawked with his half-opened eyes in utter disbelief for several moments before he finally demanded with a frustrated groan, "_How_?"

"Well…" Bloo tried to explain as he fidgeted about nervously, and practically remembled a distraught three-year-old. "I…I-I went to sleep, first, and…a-and then the-"

"No, I mean how'd you end up having a nightmare _tonight_?" Mac grumbled. "This usually only happens because you saw something scary on TV or watched a spooky movie, and we didn't see anything like that before we went to-"

"Yeah, but…b-but I read a bunch of my…m-my Batman comics before I went to bed t-tonight…" the child's creation whined, unable speak in anything more than an uncontrollable stammer. Meanwhile, the boy himself promptly resumed staring wordlessly at the imaginary friend as if the blob had just sprouted thumbs on his forehead.

"…Batman comics?" he repeated curiously, to which Bloo started nodding as he whined,

"It…it w-was just so d-dark in my dream, Mac, and…and I couldn't s-s-see anything…b-but I could hear h-him M-M-Mac, I-I heard him l-loud and clear! Th-the Joker's horrible laugh, r-ringing in my ears and g-getting louder, and l-louder the closer h-he got! I-I n-never s-saw him, b-b-but I knew he w-was there, and g-g-getting close, and c-closer, with his t-t-terrible cackle getting l-l-louder, and louder, and…a-and…"

"Oh, are you kidding?" Mac groaned as Bloo continued on.

"And then…and th-then…then I could hear h-him, asking me…'W-why so s-s-serious?' Y'know, like…in the movie, where….a-a-anyway, h-he just s-started repeating, over a-and over…'Why s-so s-s-serious, Bloo? W-why so s-serious? Why s-s-so serious? Why-"

While Bloo described his ludicrous dream, it didn't take long for his cranky creator to guess how this was all going to end. With a heavy sigh, Mac rolled his eyes and started patting his bed as he grumbled ruefully, "Okay, okay, I get it…c'mon, get in-"

"Get in?" Bloo repeated in a hoarse squeak, as if he had just been invited to stick his head into a bear trap. "Into _your_ bed? _Here_?"

Hopelessly befuddled by his friend's horrified response, Mac just scratched his head replied, "Well…yeah, why n-_AUGH_!"

Before the child could finish his sentence, his extraordinarily rattled imaginary friend nabbed his by the arm, and forcibly dragged him out of his bed, onto the floor, and up on his feet with a couple frantic yanks.

"Hey! Hey! _Ow_! Bloo, _wait_!" Mac cried as Bloo made a beeline out of the room, tugging him along all the while. "Hold on! Bloo, what are you-"

"Taking you back!" Bloo answered breathlessly as he continued towing his creator down the hallway.

"Taking me…back?" Mac repeated curiously. "Wait, to _your_ room?"

"Yeah, yeah!" said the blob with a furious nod. "With Wilt, Ed, and Coco! Strength and safety in numbers! _Much_ safer! Harder for crazy clown-men to get us there!"

"What? What do you mean by…oh, _no _way!" The child burst out protesting as he immediately tried to wrench himself free. However, despite his best efforts, it was of no use; in his severe terror of a certain comic-book villain, his imaginary friend had trapped him soundly in a veritable vice-grip on his arm.

"Mmph…argh…_ow_!" Mac yelped in pain as he tried to squirm free. "Bloo, no! No! Let go! Let go! It was only a dream Bloo, just a stupid _dream_! No, I'm not going to spend the rest of the night with _you_ in there! Bloo, please! It was only a dream! A _dream_!"

Alas, his objections were spouted in an utterly fruitless effort, for in his gut-wrenching fright, the imaginary friend appeared to have gone totally deaf as he wordlessly dragged his creator down several hallways, up a flight of stairs, and into his room. Regardless of the fact that all his roommates were sound asleep, as indicated by their gentle snoring, Mac continued to spew complaint after complaint as he was hauled inside against his will.

"…Bloo, c'mon! No, no, no!" he protested, while taking care to lower his voice to a fierce whisper. "Bloo, for the last time, the Joker's _not_ real! He can't possibly get you because he's not-"

"Okay, here we are!" Bloo gasped in relief before in a surprising burst of energy brought on by pure strength of terror, he bodily hefted his started friend onto his bunk. Awed by the feat, Mac was taken aback for a moment or two after he landed upon the mattress, giving his imaginary friend just the time he needed.

"_URRK_!" the child gagged slightly as Bloo plopped himself down and hurled his little arms tightly around his creators neck as he curled up much too close for his creator's comfort. "Bloo, let go! Let go-"

"No…" the severely terrified figment whined as his entire body trembled in fright. "N-no, Mac, the J-Joker-"

"Is a stupid villain from a comic book!" Mac reminded for the umpteenth time. "Meaning he _doesn't_ really exist, and _isn't_ going to get you! C'mon, this is…it's…it's dumb, that's what it is!"

"Mac, please!" he pleaded shamelessly while the boy tried to wriggle free. "C'mon-"

"For the last time, I'm _not_ spending the night with you!" Mac growled as his patience neared breaking point. "I've _never_ had to do this with you before, even when you've had bad dreams, and I'm _not_ starting now!"

"But-"

"Bloo, no!" the child snapped defiantly. "I am _not_ doing this! I told you, we've never done this before, and why you think it's suddenly okay now, I-"

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" someone suddenly snapped crankily from beneath the bunk bed. "So he's a little spooked! Sheesh, is that _really_ a crime?"

In a heartbeat the boy ceased his valiant struggle and went mute with shock, while Bloo took the time to consolidate his hold with a spooked whimper. Mac's mind was reeling; why on earth was _Wilt_ of all people suddenly being so huffy with them? Even more unbelievable, _when_ did his voice start leaping several octaves whenever he became grumpy?

Furthermore, the baffled child wondered as he listened closely, how could the lanky imaginary friend both yell at them _and_ snore soundly at the exact same time?

After spending a few moments drowning in bewilderment, recognition finally managed to dawn, and the boy murmured in surprise, "…._Frankie_?"

A good thirty seconds passed with absolutely no reply whatsoever, unless one wanted to count the muffled yelp that immediately followed the boy's inquiry. Finally though, a clearly feminine voice answered lamely, "Uh…no?"

"See?" Bloo whined. "_She_ gets to spend the night with Wilt sometimes _she_ has a been dream….so why can't _I _do something like it?"

"She _what_?" the astonished little boy grunted in dizzying puzzlement. "Wait, wait, so you got me only because…wait, she _actually_…"

As Mac sputtered uncontrollably, unable to believe any of this sheer ludicrousness, a barrage of defensive stammering erupted from under the bed.

"Well, I…I just…hey, he's my imaginary friend, so why can't….I mean, it's not like this happens all the time, just when I have a really bad…er….okay, yeah, the fact that I do it at all is kinda….but look, I….I-I…"

Finally, with a sigh of embarrassment, a certain resident caretaker's arm snanked out from beneath. After feeling about the bottom bunk blindly for a moment, Frances "Frankie" Foster managed to nab hold of the sheets and awkwardly tucked the little ones in, while muttering, "Hey, let's be honest here…I'm not made of stone…"

**The End **


	6. I Know Why the Caged Blob Whines

How it all came down to this unfathomably nightmarish predicament, he'd probably never know, but at least one thing was painfully obvious to the terrified blob of an imaginary friend; when you hit rock bottom, you hit hard.

As his cellmate stared unblinkingly at him from the other side of the tiny, cramped enclosure, Bloo let out an irrepressible whimper of fright and instinctively pressed his back up against the filthy, cold stonewall behind him. To his dismay, the jet-black pupils across the room remained completely fixated upon him, and despite Bloo's frantic efforts to appear unfazed, the imaginary friend found himself trembling uncontrollably just moments later, hopelessly trapped in fright's icy clutches.

Finally, he gave up all attempts to keep at least a shred of composure and curled up into a tight little ball with a piteous hoarse whine. What was the use of keeping a façade of bravery when one found themselves hopelessly trapped in a hell on earth such as this?

Despite his intense reluctance to accept the hideous truth, as Bloo glanced up to observe his gloomy surroundings he knew far too well he wouldn't last long in this living nightmare of tall iron bars and chain link barriers. He had been here for less than an hour, and while he listened to the fierce howls and wild cries of his fellow inmates, he felt as if he was already just minutes away from going insane with blind terror. How would he even last a day living alongside such hulking, hairy brutes?

No, to think that he's make it even twenty-four hours was already probably being too naïve. How was he even to survive the next hour with a cellmate he was almost positive was a deranged lunatic?

Bloo braved a quick glimpse back across the cell and almost immediately he was met with the same unnaturally focused gaze and an unmistakable growl. Automatically the little imaginary friend looked away as he struggled to suppress a sob of terror as he cowered.

His cellmate hadn't said a single word to him since he had been hurled in here half an hour earlier. The unsettlingly quiet fellow had only wordlessly watched the imaginary friend, almost as if he was planning something. The demise of a certain figment, perhaps?

Desperate to keep his overwhelming fear at bay, Bloo whimpered and continued to quiver uncontrollably as he gazed upward at the pale, flickering lights. What could he possibly do? His cellmate was well over twice his size, there wasn't a fish's chance in a frenzy of sharks a measly blob such as himself could actually intimidate such a-

"_AAAUUUGGHH_!"

Bloo's heart-wrenching scream echoed loudly for all to hear as in the work of a moment, his cellmate abruptly lunged and effortlessly tackled the unsuspecting imaginary friend in mid-thought. Instantly, Bloo found himself helplessly pinned to the floor by the hairy brute, and immediately he became possessed with a sense of indescribable terror. Already half-mad with fright, Bloo wailed hoarsely as he squirmed about wildly in a vain attempt to be free of his captor's tenacious hold.

"What? What is it do you want?" The imaginary friend began to beg shamelessly for his very life. "Oh God, I'll do anything! Anything! Please! Please, I'll do anything you want, any-"

"For Pete's sake, Bloo!" an unmistakably familiar voice suddenly cut in with an annoyed groan. "He _just_ wants to play!"

The second Bloo craned his neck and spotted the lanky young woman in an emerald green sweater peering in between the chain links, he gasped loudly in shock before he started screeching frantically.

"_FRANKIE_! Frankie, quick! Call the guards! Call the guards! Oh for the love of God, why are you just standing there? Help me! Help me!"

The hysterical imaginary friend continued screaming beseechingly, sounding as if his lungs were about to pop any moment. Despite the untold horror etched upon his features, or the fact his shrill cries were about to rupture her eardrums, Frankie just calmly remained right where she stood on the other side of the barrier, looking not the slightest bit alarmed, although she was obviously quite irritated.

After all, there was really no point at all in worrying when Bloo was only in danger of getting his cheeks slobbered upon.

"So is that one yours?" a squat, balding man inquired kindly as he pointed to the thrashing azure creature screaming bloody murder as he lay pinned under an overly friendly golden retriever. After wordlessly watching the dog continue to lick the genuinely horrified imaginary friend for a few moments, Frankie elicited a drawn-out sigh and nodded wearily to the animal shelter employee.

"Yes…" she answered morosely. "He's mine, all right."

"Okay, Boomer, easy now." The balding man spoke softly to the overexcited retriever as he unlocked the door and entered the small area. "Boomer, down boy! Down! C'mon, the poor thing's had enough, don't-"

Once the dog was grabbed by the collar and gently pulled off, Bloo wasted not a single moment and dashed out towards the familiar redheaded face.

"Frankie!" he gasped, as he was nearly overwhelmed with relief on the spot. "How'd you know I was here? Did you pay my bail yet? Oh my God, this jail's a nightmare, the guards are brutal, the inmates are like wild beasts in-"

Before he could babble on or attempt to wrap his blobby stubs around her skinny legs in a hug of gratitude, the brazenly irritated caretaker roughly snatched him off the ground, whirled about and stormed off in a beeline for the nearest exit.

"I _knew_ I'd find you here." She snarled, her face grew flushed with annoyance. "I knew it, I just knew that you'd-"

"How? The news?" Bloo squeaked from where he lay securely tucked under one arm, and immediately he lit up with excitement. "Was it on the news? Did they catch my arrest on camera? Did they? Huh? Oh, I hope those crooks that nabbed me have what's coming to them! I'm telling you, it was nothing but total police brutality when-"

"A neighbor told me they saw you get picked up by Animal Control." Frankie clarified snappily. "And if they were rough with you, then honestly I think you _deserved_ it."

"What?" Bloo cried resentfully as he was immediately overcome with indignant anger. "Tell me you're joking-"

"Bloo, I _told_ you!" she scolded harshly. "You can't to root around in other people's garbage! You hear me? See, this is what you get for not listening! I told you that some day you'd get caught, but did you actually pay attention to any warnings? Did you? No, of course not! God-forbid you take one second to hear what I have to say. Now c'mon, let's get back home before Mac starts to worry-"

"Hey!" Bloo protested hotly as he trembled with fury. "Why should other people care if I look through their trash? Its not like they actually want it anymore, isn't it? I'm telling you, the second they dump anything outside, they've renounced _all_ ownership! It's not just 'other people's garbage', it becomes public property, and-"

"Public property?" she groaned in disbelief as they exited outside into the parking lot.

"Yeah! And as a member of the public, it's my right to dig about in that waste until I…"

As the imaginary friend argued passionately why it was his Constitutional duty to rummage through others' refuse, the intensely exasperated caretaker suddenly stopped, wordlessly dug out her cell phone and dialed home.

* * *

"…Huh?" Mac murmured bewilderedly at the odd question, and for a few second she just gawked wordlessly at the telephone, as if unable to believe what he had just heard through the receiver. "Have I always wanted a dog '_instead_?' Instead of _what_? Frankie, what do you _mean_ you're 'just checking…?

**The End **


	7. It's Only Urban Legend

"…Unable to see, she wandered about into the street, where she was struck down by a passing car." the little girl whispered softly for dramatic effect as she shined the flashlight under her face, "And some say, to this very day, Sarah Wilson's ghost still wanders the town at night, searching about blindly with her bloody sockets for the madman who gouged out her eyeballs, crying out …"

The child then started to moan, "'My eyes….where are my eyes…where? Oooooooh, where are my eyes?' Just like that! Not only that… but some people say, if you happen to be unlucky enough to run into her…then she'll-"

"Yeah, yeah, we know, we know." Bloo blurted out, clearly unimpressed as indicated by the fact that not a trace of fear found be found in his expression. "You tell us that she'll steal our eyes, we all wet our pants from fright, blah, blah, blah…bra-_vo_, Miss Storyteller Extraordinaire."

As the little blob gave her a sarcastic round of applause, Goo immediately hurled the flashlight down in a fit of frustration and shot him a furious glower.

"Thanks a lot for ruinin' it!" the pajama-garbed child snapped huffily. "You…you…you big dumb stinky rotten-faced super-jerk!"

"Yeah Bloo, that really was kinda mean." Mac chimed in from where he sat atop his sleeping bag on the other side of the small dome-shaped tent. The child's unrepetent creation just rolled his eyes.

"Oh c'mon, I'm just saying what we're both thinking." Bloo replied nonchalantly. "Seriously, you call _that_ story scary? Pffft! I've found old leftovers in the back of the fridge that were scarier than the bore-tastic tale she almost put me to sleep with. C'mon Goo, _everyone's_ heard the Sarah Wilson story."

"Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh!" Goo erupted into shrill peals of protest, and started shaking her head so furiously her pigtails whipped about like a trio of flails. "It's not 'just a story', it's true! It's true! It's true!"

"I…to be honest, I dunno…" Mac interrupted as his expression distorted into a skeptical grimace. "I-"

"No, it's true! Honest!" the little girl whined stubbornly. "My aunt says she remembers reading about it in the papers and stuff, and how it was all over the news when she was just a kid! Plus, she says that her friend's cousin had a girlfriend whose brother saw Sarah Wilson's ghost, wandering around near the-"

"Either your aunt's a little cuckoo, or she's just messing with you." Bloo muttered with a bored yawn. "Either way, it's still one lame-o story."

"It's _not_ a story!" Goo argued fervently. "It really happened, it did! Who do you think they named Wilson Way after, huh? Whadya think? Hmm?"

"Goo, I'm sorry, but 'Wilson' is a pretty common name." Mac reluctantly countered. "I seriously don't think the street is named after a girl who had her eyes gouged out."

"But it really _did_ happen!" the little girl stubbornly resisted. "It just happened so long ago, people don't remember anymore, and they only think its just some dumb campfire story some weirdo made up, but it's not! Sarah Wilson _did_ exist-"

"It's a good story, but I'm pretty sure it's just an urban legend." Mac replied honestly, while Goo was clearly growing more frustrated by the moment over her friends' unwillingness to believe.

"But I'm telling you, it's not just a legend, it really _did_ happen! My aunt said so! It did, it did, it honestly seriously actually did!"

"_I_ say she's just pulling your leg." Bloo commented as he dug into an opened bag of cookies.

"Aunt Maggie's _not_ lying!" Goo whined defensively.

The little imaginary friend just rolled his eyes as he stuffed his face. "Your Aunt Maggie's full of baloney, it's a stupid story and that's that. "

"You leave her alone!" Goo jabbered angrily. "She's _not_ a liar, she just knows way more then you ever will, you stupid-"

"Hey, calm down!" Mac yelped as the little girl appeared to be ready to try and lunge at the skeptical blob. "Goo, just relax-"

"Yeah, what's the big deal? I just said the story's stupid-"

"Nuh-uh! _You're_ just stupid! Dumber than a bag of rocks! No, I take that back, 'cuz that's not fair to the rocks! You're dumber than a-"

"At least _I_ don't believe in lame fairy tales about-"

"Bloo, knock it off! And Goo-"

"For the last time, Sarah Wilson really-"

"Yeah, right! As if you had any proof besides -"

Just when it seemed like their fierce bickering was about to escalate into an all-out brawl, in almost perfect synchronization, all three were abruptly spooked into silence as their ears collectively detected a most peculiar noise. For a few near-agonizingly tense moments, the trio sat in dead quiet as they passed each other befuddled glances.

"…Wh-what was _that_?" Mac finally broke the hush with a breathless whisper. Bloo whimpered softly with a forced grin,

"Maybe…m-maybe th-that was just the wind…"

Suddenly, all their hearts skipped a beat as soon as the night air was rent again by the unmistakable sound of a low, drawn-out moan.

"Ohhhhhhhh…."

Even though they had been at each others throats only minutes before, the children and imaginary blob instinctively huddled close to one another with pitiful squeaks of fright.

"That wasn't any gust of wind!" Goo whined as she grimly hugged Mac in her brazen terror.

"Maybe…" Bloo suggested, "Maybe that was…j-just an owl…"

Without warning, the horrible moaning suddenly escalated into a hideous, spine-chilling shriek that forced the blood in their veins to run cold.

"_AAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH_!"

"M-maybe i-i-it's j-j-just one o-of th-those s-screaming owls!" Bloo yelped through uncontrollably chattering teeth as the little group clung so tightly together their could feel each other's hearts pounding away like a band of kettledrums. "Y-y'know, th-the k-kind that-"

"My eyes…." The mysterious intruder outside reverted to deep, hoarse moans, and finally spoke. "My eyes…ohhhh….where are my eyes? My eyes…"

As much as it frightened the little ones half to death to admit the awful truth, there was absolutely no denying it at this point; _someone_ was outside nearby, and by the sound of the erratic footsteps, he or she was stumbling straight towards the small tent.

For what felt like an eternity, the children and the imaginary friend found themselves hopelessly trapped in the grip of a sense of fear the likes of which they had never experience before, one which paralyzed them all in place and forced them to go as pale as freshly-fallen snow. Neither Mac, his imaginary creation, or their usually unstoppably chatty pigtailed friend could say emit beyond the most pathetic whimpers or do more than quiver like mad in blind terror as their wraith grew closer and closer, almost crying as she bumbled about.

"Can't see…I can't see…my eyes, where'd they go? My eyes…my eyes….ohhhh, my…eyes…"

Convinced that they were about to be attacked by a true specter, the hopelessly trapped campers sharply held their breaths, hugged each other tightly…

And a full minute later, realized with surprise that they were completely unharmed. Just as mysteriously as she had appeared, in an instant their phantom appeared to have vanished clean into thin air. There was no more moaning, no bloodcurdling shrieks, not even the crunch of grass beneath the feet of an approaching ghoul. All that could be heard was the chirp of the crickets, the rustling of the leaves in the wind, and everyone's rasping gasps.

As soon as they all began to silently wonder whether it had all been a cruel trick played upon them by their overactive imaginations, all of a sudden, to their shared horror the tent flap began to open up as someone…or something outside slowly undid the zipper.

"My eyes…." Came the low, raspy moan. "Where are my eyes?" Where are they…"

As the little ones became nearly paralyzed with blind fear the likes of which was beyond comparison, an almost deathly pale Bloo barely managed to gasp, "Qu-quick, who h-has a cell phone? Either y-you guys?"

While he could feel his heart pound so hard in his chest it felt like it was about ready to burst in his ribcage, Mac whispered, "Why w-would-"

Without warning, Goo suddenly managing to overcome her crippling terror long enough to release herself from the group huddle and scrabble about frantically for a few moments, and the instant she wrapped her tiny fingers around the flashlight handle, she raised it above her head, yelled hoarsely, and with strength borne of deep desperation,

_THWACK_!

"_OW_!"

The little girl's heroic effort was rewarded with a roar pain as the improvised club scored a direct hit. Immediately they could hear their mysterious attacker hastily back away and swiftly flee, wailing as she stumbled off. "My eye! My eye! _Right_ in my eye! Oh, for the love of…"

While their "ghoul" fled into the night in a hasty retreat, it didn't take long for the little ones to to trade in their their gut-twisting fright in exchange for pained bewilderment as they all stared at one another blankly, searching desperately for even the tiniest clue to help clear their overwhelming confusion over what in the world just happened.

Finally, after a few seconds of this, Bloo whimpered as he still quavered uncontrollably, "I-I….I was gonna suggest we call the Ghostbusters, but…well, nevermind now…."

* * *

"G'night, Frankie!" the towering scarlet imaginary friend said cheerily as he poked his head into the resident caretaker's bedroom. "See you in the mor-"

Wilt stopped cold in mid-sentence, clearly surprised by the considerable amount of company the redhead had with her. As Frankie flipped idly through the channels on her small television, no less than three little ones lay curled up tightly against her, with one child draped under each arm and one blob settled upon her stomach. Even odder, all of them appeared extremely tense and quite shaken as they whimpered and fidgeted about in uneasy slumber, as if they had just fallen back asleep after waking up from some hideous nightmare.

"Um…." Wilt grunted confusedly. "Wait…Frankie, I thought Goo was spending the night with Mac and Bloo out back in-"

"They were." Frankie affirmed laconically with a heavy sigh she hugged Mac close with one arm. Wilt mulled over this terse answer for a few moments before he decided that he understood perfectly what had happened.

"Oh….ohhhh, _I_ get it." he declared with a sympathetic frown. "They got a little spooked out there all by themselves, huh?"

"Yeah…kinda…" the young woman answered with a guilty grimace, which thankfully the gangly imaginary friend failed to notice.

"I guess we can't blame them." Wilt shrugged it off. "I mean…sorry, I don't mean anything bad when I say that, it's just that they are still pretty young, so it's still probably tough for them to handle things like spending a night outside, especially after telling ghost stories or anything like that. Anyway, it's really nice that you're letting them spend the rest of the night with you. When did they all come inside? Was it after you went out to check on them an hour ag-_WHOA_!"

He yelped in horror as he finally spotted the hideous anomaly marring the redhead's features. In an instant he had darted over to her bedside, fretting over her worriedly like an overprotective mother. "Frankie, are you okay? Does it hurt? Do you want me to get some ice or anything for it? Seriously, are you all right? What happened? Oh jeez, _what_ happened?"

Even though her over-compassionate imaginary friend seemed to be ready to dial 911 in his panic, Frankie didn't appear to be concerned at all by the hideously swollen black eye she was sporting. Frowning guiltily, she simply answered with groan, "Let's just say when it comes to spur-of-the-moment pranks, 'Sarah Wilson' isn't exactly a mastermind…"

**The End **


	8. So Sorry to Hear

How on earth do you break to your best friend the absolute unthinkable?

Such was the terrible question the little imaginary friend had been battling with for hours now, with no answer whatsoever in sight despite all his best efforts. He was no closer to coming up with a single thing than when he first started agonizing over the problem, and to make matters even worse, time was not on his side at all.

Bloo glanced up at the clock, elicited a long, pained sigh, and then continued pacing about the expansive foyer. Any minute, his creator would return from school, and would he say then? He had to tell Mac _somehow_; to the little blob, lying was completely out of the question, no matter how badly he wanted to shield the boy from the horrifically ugly truth. No, that just wouldn't be right to keep him ignorant and in the dark like that. Mac was bound to find out somehow, so who better to tell him than his own imaginary friend?

Resigned to his dark duty, Bloo somberly paced back and forth, back and forth, with little stubs clutched tightly behind his back and his head bowed low as he nearly wore a deep groove into the tile. Suddenly, the ornate grandfather clock nearby suddenly chimed loudly as it stuck three, and as if one cue…

"I'm home!" a chestnut-haired nine-year-old announced as he bounced through the front doors. The instant he spotted his imaginary friend, Mac immediately broke out into a toothy smile than spanned from ear to ear as he darted over. "Hey, Bloo! How are…you?"

He quickly trailed off as soon as he read the deep sorrow lining his creation's expression. As he was rapidly beset with befuddlement, Mac tilted his head a little to one side and queried softly, "Um….Bloo? What's wrong?"

Bloo paused to take a deep breath as he prepared himself. Well, this was it; Mac simply had to know.

"M-Mac…" he began. "It's…it's about…it's…"

It was still just too terrible to even try and comprehend for him, and he actually had to pause to try and recompose himself before he managed to croak morosely, "It's about…Frankie…"

"Huh?" the child grunted confusedly, still not having so much as a vague idea what the little imaginary friend was so torn up over. "Wait…what are you talking about?"

"I…well, you see…there comes a time when…when…" As Bloo fumbled hopelessly over his words, Mac suddenly felt a cold chill race down the length of his spine.

At first, all he wanted to believe was that this was just some lame prank his creation was trying to pull on him. However, as much as he absolutely despised to admit it, he couldn't even remember the last time he had seen his imaginary friend speak so seriously, or appear so undeniably gloomy. Sensing that something was terribly wrong, Mac took a hard swallow and asked gently, "Is…is there something wrong with Frankie?"

Bloo nodded grimly with a heavy sigh. "See Mac, I…I-I don't I d-don't....I don't know exactly know...h-how much time...y'know...she has left with us…"

"…._What_?" Mac whimpered in profound disbelief. "Wait, wait…Bloo, are you telling me…hold on, is she sick or something? Wait…no, no that...that can't-"

As much as he wanted to pass all of this off as some kind of morbid joke, he couldn't deny the fact that he had never seen his imaginary friend look so genuinely grim in all his life. While Mac stammered uncontrollably while he strove to absorb this very sudden and extremely shocking revelation, Bloo frowned as he rested a blobbish stub on the boy's shoulder.

"She…she hasn't told y-you yet, but…but see, I…I heard her talking on the phone to Kathy this morning, and…and I heard her mention her medical condition…I don't know h-how serious it is, but…see, I-"

"What?" Mac begged, as he could even feel the color drain from his face. "Bloo, what's going on? What's wrong with Frankie?"

While his on-edge creator's wide-eyed incredulous glare nearly bore a hole right through him, Bloo shuddered a little, took another deep breath, and started explaining as he leaned in close.

"She has...sh-she has…she's…" he stuttered until he finally cupped his hands around his mouth to whisper the horrible truth into his frantic friend's ear.

"Mac? Is that you?" a familiar voice cried out. A moment later, the very same redhead in question excitedly jogged from the direction of the kitchen to welcome her charge home from school.

"Hey, pal!" Frances "Frankie" Foster greeted warmly with a at smile. "How-"

"What's wrong?" Mac demanded hoarsely the instant he laid eyes on her.

Horribly confused, the young woman halted dead in her tracks and gave the distraught little boy a puzzled stare as the the grin vanished clean from her face. "Huh? What're you-"

"Frankie, _why_ didn't you tell me?" the little boy persisted, sending her befuddlement skyrocketing.

"Tell you what? Mac, what's going on? Why are-"

"Oh, stop lying, Frankie!" Bloo snapped tearfully. "Just stop it, all right? Can't you please just look him in the eye and tell him you're sick? He's going to find out eventually, and-"

The redhead's expression distorted with severe alarm. "Wait, what? I'm sick?"

"_What'd_ I just say?" Bloo growled. "_Stop_ trying to hide it, and please just tell Mac that you have Irish!"

Almost instantly, Frankie's concern transformed into an overwhelming wave of exasperation that rapidly overtook her completely. "Oh…for Pete's sake, Bloo…"

The instant he finally knew, Mac didn't know whether to be relieved beyond belief, or exasperated beyond description with his creation. After staring unblinkingly into empty space for a few seconds in his shock, Mac finally opted for the latter, and slowly turned his head with an irritated grimace."…Bloo?"

"Look, I know this isn't easy to deal with, but maybe if-" his imaginary friend immediately started to console with a sympathetic frown before Mac cut him off with a frustrated growl.

"Bloo…being Irish is _not_ a life-threatening medical condition." Frankie bluntly enlightened the little figment.

"Oh great! First you lie, now you try and sugarcoat it?" the little blob snapped at her. "Oh c'mon, now you're-"

"But she's right, she's not-" Mac tried to chime in.

Without missing a beat, Bloo just shook his head and continued on as his heart wrenched for what he assumed was an overly naive child. "Mac, I _know_ this isn't easy to deal with, but denial _isn't_ going to make her any better any sooner-"

"She doesn't _need_ to get any better because she's _not_ sick at all!" the boy objected fiercely. "Being Irish _isn't_ like having a disease!"

"But she said she's three-quarters Irish! It's almost completely taken over-"

"You have no idea what you're talking about! Bloo, when you're Irish, it only means that your ancestors came from _Ireland_!" Frankie clarified bluntly. "It doesn't being you're diseased or _anything_ like that!"

The little imaginary friend immediately went dumbstruck as he took a few seconds to try and process this newsflash in his mind.

"Wait…._huh_?" he murmured stupidly, wide-eyed in total astonishment. "Hold on…wait, wait, wait, lemme get this straight…you mean Irish is like when someone's German or Spanish, or…wait-"

"_YES_!" Mac involuntarily shouted. "Yes, that's exactly what it means!"

"What did you _think_ that you called someone from Ireland?" Frankie demanded, unable to believe that she was even having this very conversation to begin with.

Almost immediately she wished he hadn't asked the question, for Bloo gawked at her for several moments before answering truthfully, "Uh…Irelanderer?"

"_Augh_!" Frankie threw his arms up in the air and groaned in intense frustration. "Just when I think you can't possibly do anything else to surprise me, you just have to pull of something like this!"

"I…I-I…" the flummoxed figment stammered uncontrollably, unsure of what to think at that point.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself now?" Mac snapped.

As the child fumed wordlessly at his bemused creation, Bloo scratched his head and thought hard for a few seconds before he suddenly realized with a whimper, "Uh oh…I-I guess that this means Kathy's not sick either…"

Both his creator and Foster's resident caretaker just stared blankly at him for a few moments. Frankie finally asked warily,"….What do you mean by _that_?"

* * *

At first, Kathy could do little more than gawk curiously at the brightly colored handmade card that she had found in her mailbox. It seemed like quite the thoughtfully unexpected surprise, but then again, who would send her such a thing to begin with? Finally, the puzzled young woman opened it up and read the message out loud.

"'So sorry to hear that you're Polish, please get well soon'…_HEY_! What the…?!"

**The End **


	9. Clash of Titans

"…You are _sooooo_ goin' down."

The lanky redheaded young woman vowed flatly, and the cold, stoic expression she wore like a stone mask made it blatant she planned on keeping her oath at all costs.

Eliciting a low, threatening growl, she slowly took a firm stance and carefully prepared herself for the inevitable showdown. Keeping her teeth bared in a vicious snarl that a rabid pitbull wouldn't be able to match, the girl swiftly rolled up the sleeves of her emerald jacket and then casually began to crack her knuckles, making it clear her hands were the only weapons she'd need. All the while, she kept her unblinking gaze locked upon her foe as twin infernos raged deep within her jade pupils. Unfortunately, the fire in her eyes only barely hinted at the true extent of her legendary fighting power.

Nearly resembling an avenging archangel crowned with a halo of crimson flames, the fiery spirited young woman was truly an awesome spectacle to behold, astonishing enough to send any weak-spirited individual begging for mercy before she even moved a muscle. However, upon close examination, it was obvious to any fool that the opponent she squared off against was far from any sniveling coward.

This was a bit surprising at first, seeing that at first glance he seemed to be nothing more than a mere nine-year-old boy who was extraordinarily unfortunate enough to cross paths with the wrong woman. Just one look into his eyes however, and the unforgiving, stonefaced expression he wore, and it was blatant that he was a mere child only in appearance. Deep within that tiny body one third his adversary's height there obviously lay a strong-spirited soul who had seen his fair share of troubles in life and possessed more backbone then many full-grown men four times his age and five times his size when it came to danger.

This situation in particular was obviously no exception, for the little boy didn't even bat an eyelid during the spectacle the redhead put on, seeing right through the entire act for what it really was as a severely unsubtle show of intimidation. His face revealed no hint of fright or even a trace of worry. Just a frosty glare that could freeze a person's blood in their veins as he boldly stood his ground and showed he too was prepared to fight until the very end.

For what seemed like an eternity, the two stared each other down in dead silence. The boy lashed out with a piercing glare sharper than a warrior's spear, and the redhead returning the favor by glaring daggers in return, each one nearly slicing the other in half with their gazes alone.

"This is it, Mac." Frances "Frankie" Foster declared vehemently, jabbing a finger at the frighteningly stoic eight-year-old. "This ends, _now_."

Despite the barely restrained ferocity evident in her tone, Mac didn't even do so much as flinch. Instead, a queer, haughty smirk swept across his features as he laughed coldly.

"Of course this is where it ends, redhead." he sneered irreverntly. "For you, at least."

"Oh, very funny, Mr. Wise Guy." Frankie shot back sarcastically with a fierce scowl. "But mark my words, you're not going to find _anything_ funny with what I'll do to you by the time I'm done with you."

"I dunno," Mac sniggered condescendingly. "I've never seen a twenty-two-year-old cry like a baby before, that's gotta be good for at least a couple of chuckles."

"The only way _you're_ gonna be able to see anyone bawling is if you look in a mirror afterwards." Frankie countered. "After all-"

"Hey!" the boy rudely interrupted her with an impatient yell as he balled up a little fist tightly. "Are we gonna do this, or do you just plan to bore me to death with lame insults? Huh?"

The redhead hissed venomously like a crimson cobra about to strike.

"You just signed your death warrant, little man." She whispered with a spiteful leer.

"I'm ready whenever you are." Mac just announced with a scowl.

For a few moments, each opponent glared at each other as another dead silence blanketed the foyer, both of them standing stock-still as if someone had carelessly left a pair of wax statues in the middle of the room. Neither emitted so much as a word while they carefully calculated the strengths and weakness of their adversary, while also frantically trying to beat back any hints of doubt over their own possible victory in the process. Both child and girl were quite aware they were no legendary heroes future generations would name constellations after. They were only human, and thus being naturally flawed they carried the possibility of being unable to claim the victory they so fervently desired. Struggling furiously to silence the voices of skepticism over their chance of success, Frankie could feel the warm beads of sweat trickle slowly down her forehead, while Mac fought valiantly to still his noticeably quaking hands.

At this point, the tension in the air was so thick one would need a battle-axe to cut it. Finally though, after God only knew how long, Frankie suddenly made a curt nod, signaling that it was time to join battle.

"One…" Mac began, glaring at the redhead coldly as he prepared himself.

"Two…" She continued with a fearsome snarl. This was it, no going back now.

"THREE!" They finally yelled in unison as the fight was finally commenced, as each one rapidly beat a tightly clenched fist upon an open palm and hollered in unison,

"Rock, paper, scissors, _SHOOT_!"

And just as swiftly as it had started, the clash was over, the results speaking for themselves – the girl's balled-up fist matched up with the eight-year-old's two fingers outstretched. For a brief moment, the duo just gawked at the outcome.

"_YESSSSSSSSSS_!" Frankie squealed with elation, leaping nearly two feet into the air in her immense glee.

"NO!" Mac wailed to the high heavens in mortified despair as he tasted bitter defeat.

"Oh, yes! Rock beats scissors! Boo-yah!" The caretaker only whooped jubilantly, jabbing mockingly at the dejected child as she pranced about him wildly in a ridiculous victory dance. "In your face, pal! In your _face_! Yeah!"

"No fair! No fair!" The boy immediately began to protest defiantly. "Rematch! I wanna-"

"Nuh-uh, Macky-Poo!" Frankie happily denied him in a cheerful singsong manner and a wag of her finger. "You know the rules of the game, it was best two out of three, and in case you've forgotten, the final score is _two_ victories for moi versus _one_ measly win for you."

"But-"

"Nope!" the girl just trilled happily as she nudged the clearly unwilling child towards the front doors. "We had a deal, pal; _I_ won, _you_ lost, so get going!"

Frankie flung the doors open and then leaned up heavily against the wall, with a ludicrously merry grin plastered upon her features as she waited for the child to start the very much-unwanted task. As she waited patiently to reap the fruits of her victory, Mac elicited a whimper as he gazed down the walkway to the mailbox.

At least he tried to see through the heavy sheets of rain that mercilessly pelted the earth and nearly swallowed up everything in a torrential downpour of biblical proportions.

"Well?" Frankie giggled with a smirk. "Don't you have some mail to pick up, pal?"

Mac fidgeted about anxiously as his mind went a mile a minute, honestly mulling over whether he needed to go fetch a raincoat or even a small rowboat to cross the plethora of massive puddles that had practically turned the lawn into a miniature lake. Meanwhile, the caretaker couldn't help but elicit another chuckle or two at the spectacle he was creating, and while badly muffling a snigger, she reached over to tousle his hair playfully.

"Y'know, the longer you wait here, the worse it's gonna be when you actually-_Hey_! Mac, what're you-"

"Three out of five!" Mac blurted out frantically as he seized her outstretched arm in a tenacious hold, desperate to save himself a journey through a veritable flood. "How about that? We do three out of five, and loser not only gets the mail, but-"

"Oh, no _way_!" Frankie swiftly denied the quick-thinking child before he could improvise the slipshod bargain any further. "Nuh-uh, we clearly had a deal, Mac Foster! Two out of thee, loser gets the mail now, _that_ was what we agreed on, you little sneak! C'mon pal, we-"

"But that's not fair!" Mac squealed indignantly as he fought to keep his iron grip upon his guardian, much to her annoyance.

"Yes, that's _so_ fair!" she shot back while struggling wildly to pry him loose. "I told you, we clearly agreed to-"

"But that's what _I_ said _last week_ when the garbage had to be taken out!" The boy argued steadfastly. "We first only had one match to decide, but then _you_ forced us to do two out of three, and we actually went up to four out of seven before-"

"Knock it off!" The girl countered with an exasperated groan. "Whatever point you're trying to prove, you can just forget it, little man! That was different, maybe if _you_ hadn't cheated every time we-"

"I cheated? _I_ cheated?" Mac yelped incredulously. "I won fair and square every time, if _anyone_ was cheating-"

"Nice try, but it ain't happening! I remember everything, you definitely-"

"For goodness sake, what on earth is the meaning of all _this_?" someone suddenly boomed angrily like a tremendous roll of thunder. Within an instant the squabble came to a screeching halt as the pair looked up to meet the frighteningly stern glaze of the aged imaginary rabbit hastily exiting his nearby office in a harried but dignified hop.

"Miss Frances! Master Mac!" he scolded, looking clearly repelled by the spectacle before him. "Will one of you please tell me-"

"Mr. Herriman, we were just-" Frankie hastily tried to improvise a slapdash excuse before she was abruptly cut off.

"Good heavens, _where_ in the world is the mail?" Mr. Herriman snapped angrily, causing both of the miscreants to involuntarily flinch. "Didn't I ask no less than ten minutes ago for one of you to go fetch it outside?"

"Yeah, but – _OW_!" Mac squeaked in pain before he could get a single word further.

"_OUCH_! Hey, quit it!" Frankie protested in vain as the authoritarian rabbit's paws moved like blurs, expertly nabbing hold of both ruffians by the earlobes as if apprehending a pair of naughty toddlers. Foster's Head of Business Affairs was in absolutely no mood to play judge while the pair babbled foolishly in an attempt to defend themselves.

"When I ask for something to be done around here," he growled, ignoring their whines of agony as he effortlessly began to drag them along, "I _mean_ I want it to be done now! Both of you, outside, and don't expect me to let you back in unless you have properly retrieved the mail as was specifically requested _GO_!"

With this strict edict, Mr. Herriman effortlessly deposited them onto the front porch and quickly retreated back inside, muttering darkly to himself about the youth and their enigmatic nonsense before angrily slamming the doors behind him. The unfortunate pair thus found themselves all alone, staring dumbly at the mailbox a few yards away, and separated from them through a monstrous deluge one would need experience in the Coast Guard to get through it all for the sake of a few letters.

As she tried to comprehend the unimaginably unpleasant soaking they were about to receive, Frankie's depressing contemplation was suddenly roughly interrupted by a light tug on her arm.

"Hmmm?" she grunted absentmindedly, gazing upon the child stand by her side.

"…Um….wanna see who can make it down there first?" Mac suggested hopefully with a weak grin in a feeble attempt to make the most of the situation.

Frankie needed only a second to muse over his offer before a tremendous grin swept across her face from ear to ear. Giggling lightly, she gave his hair a playful tousle as she declared eagerly,

"You are _sooooo_ goin' down…."

**The End **


	10. A Perfect Day for Mayhem

The sun blazed brightly, soaking the park in its golden rays with barely a cloud in the sky to obstruct its shining glory for so much as a few seconds. The flora of the town park meanwhile was finally in full bloom after a long, cold winter, with fresh verdant leaves covering the branch of nearly every tree. Meanwhile, the bushes and flowers had recently exploded into bloom and blanketed the ground with a dazzling array of nearly every color imaginable.

The public commons nearly resembled a veritable Garden of Eden, except for the fact that unusually strong gusts that day made the weather slightly less than perfect. Nevertheless, practically everyone present in the large gathering in the middle of the park happily concluded to himself or herself that they couldn't have been blessed with a more ideal setting for an outdoor wedding.

"…. And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asked, as was dictated by ritual. Immediately, nearly the whole audience excitedly leaned forward a little in their seats and kept locked their gazes upon the bride, bedecked in a breathtakingly exquisite pearl-white gown as she paused for a moment, looked into the eyes of the young man next to her, smiled serenely, and answered-

"_YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK_!"

The terrified shriek she elicited nearly deafened everyone from the best man to the caterers and sent every bird in a five hundred yard radius frantically flapping off in fright. Rather than be dismayed by her peculiar reply or the fact her eyes had nearly popped from her skull, her husband-to-be simply actually chimed in along with her and bellowed loudly in surprise.

After all, how could either of them not by a little startled by the abrupt appearance of the peculiarly towering crimson imaginary friend?

"Sorry! Sorry! I'm _so_ sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Wilt instantly began to sputter apologetically after he expertly dodged around the badly spooked minister and right between the couple in a spectacular display of agility. As he sprinted frantically down the aisle like a bat out of hell, the poor creature could actually feel the gazes of the slack-jawed wedding-goers fixate onto him, and he unfortunately could do little except thank God his natural tone hid much of his humiliated blush.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he whined between ragged gasps as he charged along. "Honestly, you have no idea! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I just-_WAUGH_!"

Unfortunately, his efforts to make it clear to everyone present how sincerely regretful he was distracted him for a few crucial seconds, and thus Wilt never saw the h'ors deurve-laden table until it was far too late. After the horrendous crash, the imaginary friend was sent tumbling to the ground and rolled a few times while the air temporarily became thick with a mess of specially prepared delicacies that had been meant for the reception later.

While the guests of the bride and groom could only stare silently in dumb shock for the first few moments, unable to believe what had just happened, almost immediately Wilt could hear the outraged howls of the caterers, followed by the unmistakable soft thud of footsteps as they all tried to set upon him like a pack of mad dogs.

Even though he was still slightly dazed from the collision and plastered from head to toe with what he assumed had once been a display of finger sandwiches, in an instant Wilt was back upon his feet and running like the wind as the immensely incensed caterers trailed behind, armed with a variety of makeshift weapons ranging from serving utensils to extra folding chairs.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I _said_ I was sorry!" Wilt wailed miserably as he dashed off, with the mob of servers giving chase. "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!"

However, despite their best efforts, the pursuers found that they not a single one of them was a match for the incredibly athletic imaginary friend, who had been steadily widening the gap between them ever since the hunt started. Within minutes, the pack of livid caterers found themselves stumbling along and gasping for breath as they feebly tried to continue their fruitless attempt to apprehend their culprit. It was all to no avail whatsoever, and just moments later they caught their last glimpse of the gangly red creature dodging through some trees and out of sight.

Pumping his legs as hard as he could, Wilt plowed headlong across the park grounds, dodging around joggers, parents with strollers, children on bicycles, and many others as he pushed onwards. Strangely enough, however, it wasn't the fear that the caterers would somehow catch him that galvanized him onwards; he hadn't even glanced back behind him even once. Instead he kept his gaze focused straight ahead and oddly craned upwards a little as he raced along at such a breakneck pace one would've thought Lucifer himself was hot on his heels.

"Not okay, not okay…*_gasp_*….really, _really_ not okay! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" he berated himself mercilessly while searching about desperately. "Totally not okay! You just _had_ to help those kids get their Frisbee back, didn't you? You just _had_ to leave her alone for five seconds, didn't you? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Oh I hope she's okay, _please_ let her be okay! Oh jeez, Madame Fosters going to have a heart-attack for sure if I don't-_OW_!"

In the blink of an eye, a pigeon had suddenly swooped in from nowhere and perched itself upon Wilt's head, where it immediately began pecking wildly at a half-crushed h'ors deurve.

"Ow! Ow! Quit it! Quit it!" Wilt yelped and instinctively began swatting wildly at his tormentor as he could feel the little beak score painful blow after painful blow atop his skull. "Stop! No! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Go away! No!"

Finally, he managed to drive away the pest with a few more wild swipes of the hand. Once he was finally free, he immediately took a couple moments to pluck off a few of the smashed array finger sandwiches that abundantly covered him like the spots on a leopard.

"Yuck!" he groaned as he pried off the ruined treats. "That better be the _last_ thing that thinks I'm a free meal, because I'm no-"

Whether his words simply had incredibly poor timing or fate had a cruel sense of humor, he wasn't sure; either way, none of that really changed the fact that no less than a second later a veritable army of ravenous pigeons abruptly descended upon him in a cloud of feathers.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH_!" Wilt howled at the top of his lungs in terror, but not even this could scare away the voracious winged scavengers.

Within moments, he was nearly completely covered from his ankles to his eye stalks by the famished creatures, and much to his dismay, he swiftly realized he couldn't do a thing to fend them off, other than stumble about blindly and scream uncontrollably as if someone was butchering him alive with a rusty chainsaw.

"Get off! Get off! Get off! Please, get _OFF_!" Wilt begged shamelessly as he bumbled about, with his vision completely obscured by the pests as the pigeons had themselves a feast with the morsels that coated his body. As nearly a hundred beaks pecked at once, the imaginary friend couldn't even hear his own screams as he ran about, much less the terrified shrieks of everyone in the immediate vicinity.

Once the veritable walking mountain of feathers stumbled into sight, every man, woman and child hastily vacated the scene in a frantic attempt to flee the towering monster with a thousand wings. For a few moments, it was nothing but mass chaos as their air was filled with horrified screeches and frightened yells as parents grabbed their offspring, teenagers called frantically for friends they had been separated from amongst the pandemonium, panicked old men and women sprinted off as hastily as Olympic runners on steroids, and nearly all dashed about like chickens with their heads sliced off in a mad stampede to safety.

Within a matter of mere seconds, the particular stretch of park had been completely deserted, with no one left but the lanky perpetrator of the hasty mass evacuation.

"_Augh_! Off! Off! Go away! Please, go away!" Wilt continued to wail as he blindly stumbled about, unable to see a single thing besides the half-dozen or so birds blocking his good eye. "Just get off of-"

Like magic, the birds suddenly fled in synchronized panic. When the last one frantically fluttered off, it was then that Wilt realized far too late they had retreated only because he was tumbling backwards into the nearby fountain.

_SPLASH_!

Soaking wet and aching all over from one too many uncalled-for pecks, the drenched imaginary friend lay as he was for a few moments in his pitiful sprawl, half-submerged and severely disorientated from his attack. Trembling slightly and gasping for breath, it looked like he was mere moments away from passing out on the spot after the sheer madness that he had been forced to endure.

That is, he almost wanted to call it quits right then and there until he happened to glance upwards and spot a most peculiar shade of scarlet nestled high in a tree bough almost directly above him.

"_There_ you are!" Wilt sputtered, as he was nearly overwhelmed with an indescribable sense of relief. Wasting not a second, he clumsily clambered from the fountain, and then bolted over to a nearby tree, which he promptly began to scale like some gigantic red squirrel as he babbled all the while, "I knew you had to land somewhere around here, I _knew_ it! I knew it couldn't have possibly taken you _that_ far! Please, don't worry! It's okay, it's okay! I'm coming! Just hold on, I'll be there in a sec! Don't worry! It's okay! It's okay!"

As he spewed forth with reassurance after reassurance like a hysterical mother hen, he continued climbing frantically up the massive oak tree until he managed to reach his goal; the four-year-old little redheaded girl sitting calmly in the upper branches amongst a tangled mess of string and fabric.

Despite Wilt's hysterical fretting, fortunately Frances "Frankie" Foster appeared to be none the worse from the bizarre calamity she had clearly just survived. In fact, the girl was nothing but toothy smiles as she gleamed in exhilaration and waved furiously at the familiar face.

"Hiya, Wilt! Didya see me? Didya?" Frankie laughed excitedly as he delicately plucked her free from her precarious perch, and immediately enveloped her in a quick one-armed hug.

"You're okay! Oh, thank goodness you're okay!" he gasped as he held the genuinely befuddled little girl close.

"Huh?" she squeaked incredulously while he placed her securely atop his shoulders.

"Honestly, you nearly spooked me clear out of my skin!" the friend just continued as he began to carefully descend. "You scared me half to death the second you took off like that, clear off the ground! First you were right there with me, and just like that, with one big gust you were almost gone! And with the way the wind was blowing, I seriously thought you'd be carried clear halfway across town! I-"

"Yeah…and it was _awesome_!" Frankie interrupted with an elated squeal before breaking out into a mad fit of the giggles, much to Wilt's displeasure.

"I'm sorryFrankie, but no." He scolded her lightly. "_Not_ awesome. I'm sorry, but you really scaredme, _and_ you could've really gotten hurt if you landed-"

"Nuh-uh!" she happily objected. "It was the bestest thing ever! Yup! I was flyin' just like the birdies an' the airplanes! Just like 'em! You aw me, Wilt! An' it was the coolest, most neatest-"

"It was an accident." Wilt countered bluntly as he finally made it back onto the ground. "I should've _never_ left your side-"

However, his protests fell on completely deaf ears, and he could actually feel her tremble uncontrollably with excitement as she proclaimed happily,

"Best day at the park _ever_! Can I do it again next week? Huh? Can I? Can I, Wilt? Please? Pretty please? Grandma never, ever lets me go glidin' and-"

"Because you _weren't_ supposed to go 'gliding'." Wilt groaned as he began to wearily plod off in the direction of home. "The wind was just very strong today, and you didn't -"

"But Wiiiiilt!" she whined unhappily as he just announced flatly,

"Sorry, Frankie, but I'm serious; next time, we're getting you a _much_ smaller kite…"

**The End **


	11. Parent Teacher Conflict

"…What could _possibly_ be wrong?"

The increasingly anxious young woman repeated softly to herself for possibly the fifth time since she had set foot inside the hallways of the elementary school. It still just didn't make a smidgen of sense to her; after all, how far was it into the new school year? Only a month, at the very most, and not once had she heard her charge complain at all about how things were.

Yet here she found herself, about to have a private parent-teacher meeting that had been scheduled during a surprising phone call she had received at home the day before. Not like that was doing any good in clearing up the befuddled daze she was in, for over these past few weeks, she hadn't received one hint of sign that all wasn't well, which was quite bizarre if something indeed was. After all, it wasn't like Mac to hide anything serious from her, much less school trouble. But how could someone so bright and good-natured as him even be having problems in the very first place?

She'd learn the unfortunate truth soon enough, Frances "Frankie" Foster acknowledged with a heavy sigh as she came to a halt at what she was sure was the right room. Trying to ignore the slight knot her stomach had managed to contort itself into, Frankie took a deep breath, then knocked gently.

"Come in!" a friendly voice immediately beckoned. The redhead promptly entered the classroom as bid, and flashed a weak but polite smile at the middle-aged woman seated at her desk amidst a heap of tests she was grading.

"Hello." Frankie greeted as she sauntered in, grabbed a chair, and sat down. Once she had made herself as comfortable as she could though, it was only then that she realized that the teacher was just gawking bemusedly at the caretaker as if she had four heads and webbed feet.

"Um…hello?" the teacher finally murmured with a confused grimace. "And…I'm sorry, you are…"

"Oops!" Frankie yelped and went a little flush before she burst out apologizing, "I'm sorry! My bad, I didn't introduce myself, did I? Sorry! I'm Frankie…er…Frances Foster… Mac's Foster's big sister. I'm here for the meeting, remember? You _are_ Mrs. Acuri, right?"

Much to her profound surprise, her clarification didn't appear to help one tiny bit, and the poor woman looked just as excruciatingly bewildered as ever as she tried to plant on a wan grin.

"Oh…oh, right…" she mumbled, clearly uncomfortable with the situation at hand for some reason Frankie couldn't understand at all. "Uh…Frances….just like you're mother, right?"

"…_Huh_?" the young woman grunted as she became swamped in dizzying puzzlement. Meanwhile, Mrs. Acuri continued to keep her weak smile on as she tried to handle what she thought was a rather unusual situation.

"I'm not saying I don't appreciate you coming, miss, it's just that…well…" she paused and fidgeted with a pen for a couple moments as she tried to figure out how to best put this without causing any embarrassment for the redhead. "See, whenever a parent-teacher meeting is scheduled, it's more customary for the parent to show up, and…I mean, if your mother had something more pressing to tend to, I guess this can work, but-"

"_Excuse_ me?" Frankie demanded until finally she managed to understand the enormous misconception they were dealing with here. "Oh! Oh, wait, no! No, no, no, no! No, wait, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You made a mistake, see, because _I_ take care of Mac-"

"And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the fact you're willing to help out your family so much, I'm just saying-" the other woman tried to explain.

"_No_!" Frankie groaned in exasperation. "I mean I'm the _only_ one taking care of Mac! Mrs. Acuri, there _is_ no other older Frances Foster! _I'm_ his guardian, and _I_ was the one who you talked to on the phone yesterday!"

Again, at first all she received was that same glassy-eyed stare of utter incomprehension.

"Wait…so that was you I…I…" the teacher stammered for a few moments before she went as red as a ripe tomato. "Oh! Oh, goodness, and I was wondering why you sounded so much like your…oh, Lord, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Miss Foster, I-"

Merely relieved that the confusion appeared to be cleared up, Frankie just planted on a small grin and replied calmly, "No, it's all right, you just-"

"No, no, no!" the guilt-ridden woman grumbled. "I mean…oh this is just so embarrassing! It's bad enough that you've probably been striving so hard to look after the child since your parents left, or…well, I won't pry and further, but…."

"…Say _what_ now?" Frankie asked, pop-eyed in disbelief as Mrs. Acuri resumed her lament.

"…And here you have a fool like me making everything just that much harder by…my goodness, I've never felt so humiliated in-"

"Oh, _no_!" the redhead cried in despair. "No, no, wait-"

"Please, Miss Foster, that's quite kind of you, but I know very well I made a mistake-"

"You _still_ are!" Frankie struggled furiously to make clear. "No, no, it's not like there was a mom and dad who abandoned us or anything."

"Wait, what?" the woman exclaimed bewilderedly.

"_Nothing_ like that happened! As long as we've been a family, it's only been just me, and Mac. Well…his imaginary friend, also, and mine too, but that's _everything_. It's just been us, all right?" Frankie asked, while praying desperately everything had been cleared up.

Once more, the teacher at first simply gazed back with a blank look one would expect to find on a mule deer trapped in someone's headlights just second before a speeding car plowed it over. However, as the truth finally seeped in, yet again the woman promptly lit up the room with a blush ever more vibrant than the one she had been wearing before.

"Oh…_oh_!" she cried in dismay. "So you mean that it's just…oh dear, oh dear! And here I was, thinking that…my word, I frankly don't understand why I didn't see it earlier, I…I just…I was wrong before, _now_ I've never felt so embarrassed in my entire life-"

"No, _please_." Frankie begged despairingly as she buried her face in her hands. "It's all right. Please, just tell me what-"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm just _so_ sorry!" the bombardment of apologies started raining down thickly. "Miss Foster, I just can't-"

"Then _don't_." the frustrated redhead interrupted. "For the last time, it's _fine_, okay? My age throws a lot of people off, it's not like this hasn't happened before-"

"But that doesn't make it any less of a nuisance, doesn't it?" the teacher heaved a sigh and shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Miss Foster, I…well, if it helps out even just the slightest…you don't have to use that ruse around me."

Frankie's head jerked up out of her palms as she gawked slack-jawed in total perplexity. "Huh? Wait, ruse?"

The other woman smiled weakly and patted her hand reassuringly. "Yes, yes, it's perfectly all right, I understand it now. Just you two? 'Big sister?' No need to fret or anything, I understand what you're trying to do for your son completely-"

"My…m-my _son_?" the young woman sputtered incredulously as she quickly realized with horror that the ordeal was quite far from over. "Wait, I think you're confused here-"

"No, I really mean it!" The teacher persisted kindly. " Don't worry, I don't think any less of you for trying to save Mac from any embarrassment, it's all right! In fact, if anything I truly respect you more for…wait, how old are you?"

"Twenty-three," Frankie answered. "But-"

"My word!" the teacher exclaimed in sincere amazement. "Only fourteen years old, yet you were mature enough to raise your baby by yourself? Miss Foster, that's nothing short of incredible, to say the very least-"

"No! _No_!" Frankie whined as she gestured frantically for the woman to stop. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh my God, you're not…you're not thinking that I actually got knocked up as a -"

"I told you, Miss Foster, I don't view you poorly because of the choice that you made! There's no need to hide behind the 'big sister' façade, it's perfectly all right! As you've probably been doing all your life, you're only doing what you think is best for your child, and-"

"_I'm not Mac's biological mother_!" Frankie involuntarily yelled as her patience finally snapped like a twig someone had placed an anvil atop of. Before the badly startled teacher could respond at all to the frustrated outcry, the redhead was already digging furiously through her purse. She had hoped with all her might it actually wouldn't come down to this, but…

"_Here_!" Frankie snapped as she fished out a ragged photocopy of an adoption certificate that looked like it had seen far too much use. "See? _See_? It says right here that I, Frances Bridgett Foster, officially _adopted_ Mac not too long ago, all right?"

"What? Wait, you mean to say-"

"_Yes_!" the young woman almost screeched, at wits end. "Is that so hard to believe? That I willingly went ahead with this? I'm _not_ here because a woman you thought existed couldn't make it, I _didn't_ start raising him by myself because we were abandoned together by anyone, and I _didn't_ spend nine months carrying him around in my belly! I adopted him, and I'm sorry, but I am in _no_ mood to go into any further details, all right? Now _please_, can you just tell me what's wrong with Mac?"

"Oh! Oh…." The teacher exclaimed in surprise as she glanced over the form and tried to absorb the revelation all at once. Quickly understanding by the snarl affixed on the redhead's face that now wasn't the time at all to pry any further for details, she promptly went straight ahead to business. She cleared her throat, placed her hands atop her lap, stared Frankie right in the eye, and finally answered, "Nothing."

For the next half-minute, it was so dead quiet one could hear a feather drop as the dumbstruck Frankie gawked silently with emerald eyes as large as platters before she repeated, "…._Nothing_?"

"Well…yes, nothing at all." The teacher affirmed with a wan grin. "Mac's doing just fine; even better. He's probably the brightest of all my students this year; he's very, very hardworking, and I must admit, he's extremely well-behaved, too."

"…_What_?" Frankie grunted, unable to believe her ears.

"Yes, yes. I only called because I just wanted to let you know the good news, and congratulate you on the excellent job you must be doing at home." She continued, and her smile widened by a good few inches before she inquired excitedly, "Isn't that great to hear?"

Frankie continued to just stare blankly, as if she had magically transformed into a wax statue. Finally though, while she struggling to quell the rage brewing inside her, she managed to plant a fake smile on and reply through tightly gritted teeth, "Great…j-just…just _peachy_…"

* * *

"Hey, Frankie!" the little boy greeted cheerily as he raced raced out of the living room and into the foyer to meet his guardian. "Where were you? You weren't home when Goo and I got here from school, and-"

Without a word, Frankie shut the front door behind her, removed her sweater, and rolled it up, much to Mac's great puzzlement. "Uh…Frankie, dear? What are you-"

"_MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH_!" the young woman promptly buried her head into the balled-up garment and let loose with a long muffled scream of deep, excruciating frustration that apparently she had been holding in for quite some time.

As the redhead vented her anger, her terribly startled charge fidgeted nervously for a moment, then warily began to inch towards her, inquiring fretfully, "Frankie, what is it? What's wrong? Is everything all-"

"I _wasn't_ a teenage hussy!" Frankie groaned as she removed her sweater from her mouth and gazed imploringly into the child's eyes. "I wasn't! _When_ are they going to get it?"

With this, she rolled her eyes, moaned exasperatedly, then promptly resorted to what Mac quickly recognized as the "stress-ball routine", an odd little ritual she now went through when feeling particularly riled up. Not saying a word, Frankie scooped him up into her arms and made a beeline for the staircase. As soon as she had sat down upon a random step, she just silently hugged the boy tightly out of the hopes that his company would help calm her down while she just quietly fumed in the meantime.

After a few moments of gazing confusedly up at her while Frankie just angrily gazed straight ahead into empty space, Mac looked like he was about to inquire as to what was bothering her. Instead though, he just went silent as could be as he tried to make himself comfortable for the presumably long wait until she relaxed.

Some questions were probably best left unanswered.

**The End **


	12. Double Yuck

"…Guys, c'mon." Frances "Frankie" Foster protested wearily for the umpteenth time as the two children forcibly tugged upon her arms and led her out the front doors. "The rabbit's going to throw a fit if I don't get all the laundry done today. Do you actually want me to-"

"But we _really_ think you should take a look at this wasp's nest!" Mac interrupted, sounding unusually alarmed as he pulled her along.

"Can't you guys just avoid it for now and let me take care of it later? Like, tomorrow?" Frankie grumbled, clearly unconvinced that the problem at hand required her immediate attention.

"No! Nuh-uh! No way! Nope!" Goo objected fiercely. "No way we can avoid it, not when it's like the biggest hornet's nest in the whole wide entire world, like someone put a prize-winning water-melon from the country fair, filled it alotta nasty, nasty wasps, and decided to be a big fat jerk about it and put the whole thing right near the front of the house. How can we stay clear of it when it's like, taking up the whole front yard with-"

"Oh, please." Frankie groaned, convinced that the hyperactive little girl was merely exaggerating in her excitement, as she was prone to do. "There's no way wasps could've constructed a nest _that_ big near the front of the house without anyone noticing it right away-"

"But we're serious, Frankie!" Goo whined as she and Mac dragged the young woman down the front steps, to the right, and over to a large shrub sitting rooted near the house. "It's gigantic, with a million billion trillion wasps all buzzing around, waiting to-"

"Guys, it's _just_ a few wasps." The caretaker argued. "I know they can be dangerous, but it's nothing for you to freak out so much over…"

It was about then that she took a good look at the large shrub and saw spotted what resembled a large paper-mache beach ball jutting out from amongst the leaves and branches. The instant she realized it actually appeared to be very much alive with the audible sound of buzzing, in an instant her facial tone went as white as a freshly cleaned sheet as terror coursed through her.

"GET BACK!" the maternal redhead shrieked as she grabbed the children and yanked them to a safer distance. Much to their shared dismay however, as they all retreated to a safe distance, meanwhile an-all-too-familiar azure blob of an imaginary friend trotted from around the back of the house, strode right up to the nest without a pause, and then lifted the hammer in his stubby appendages high over his head.

"All, right!" Bloo growled fiercely. "Say your prayers, you filthy bugs! You've met your match-"

"BLOO, NO!" Mac yelled hoarsely.

"MAC, WAIT!" Frankie screamed in horror as he tore off. Moving faster than the human eye could follow, the boy bolted over, grabbed his creation, and forcibly dragged him back to safety.

"Hey! Hey!" Bloo protested in a nasally whine. "C'mon, I was about to free us from the wasp menace!"

"Bloo, what on earth is wrong with you?" she yelled. "You can't just whack a nest that's wider than me!"

"Of course you can, it's easy!" Bloo scoffed. "All you gotta do is find something to hit it with, and then you hit it! How much simpler can it be?"

"Depends if you want to include the part about being stung to death!" she snarled before glancing back at the nest and cringing involuntarily with terror. "Oh jeez, look at the size of that thing! Cripes, it's bigger than Mac!"

"Hey, c'mon!" Bloo protested. "Trust me, guys! I know what I'm doing here-"

"See? See? See? See?" Goo started chanting to Frankie, effectively drowning out the imaginary blob's protests. "I toldya so! Toldya! But did you listen? Noooo, you had to be all 'blah blah blah, no big deal, blah blah,' while the wasps just keep on making their nest bigger and bigger and bigger until they're gonna take over the whole entire property, and then-"

"We need to take that thing out, _now_!" Frankie declared firmly as she quickly took charge of the crisis. "I think there's some spray in the shed that will take care of them! Mac, you come with me out back, okay?"

"Got it!" the boy answered as he darted to her side.

"Bloo, Goo, you two stay here and make sure that no one else goes near that…that _thing_. All right?"

"Got it!" Goo smartly saluted and then whirled about to place the absurdly large nest under her watchful gaze. Bloo however appeared to be greatly displeased with the plan.

"Spray? For _this_? You think _that'll_ destroy the wasp threat? Not on your life! No dinky spray from a can is going to show these guys whose boss! I know what I'm doing here, I can take that thing out in no time at all! Just trust me, I _know_ how this pest control thing works! When the bugs try and take over, who ya gonna call? Blooragard Q. Kazoo, that's who-"

In the ultimate act of irony, the usually chatty little girl by his side whirled about and snapped exasperatedly, "Could you put a sock in it for once?"

* * *

"…Are you sure it's in here?" Mac said as he checked behind a veritable miniature mountain of cracked and broken flowerpots. Frankie meanwhile was never still for a second as she clambered all about the tiny shed, checking every inch.

"I'm ninety-nine percent positive. Honestly, I don't know where else it would be! Just keep looking, pal, it has to be in here somewhere."

"But we've been in here for almost ten minutes already, and-" Mac started to protest before they were both startled by an eardrum-shattering shriek of dismay emanating from the open shed doorway.

"I'M SORRY, HE JUST WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME!" Goo wailed, nearly scaring the others clean out of their skins.

"What?" Frankie yelled in gut-wrenching alarm. "What the…Goo, what are you doing? I told you to stay nearby the nest-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know!" the panicked little girl yelped as she flailed her arms wildly. "And I was, too! I was trying to make sure no one got too close, but Bloo was all 'I know what I'm doing, I know what I'm doing, no one tells me how to take out a bunch of dumb ol' bugs,' and he kept on going on and on and on about how this wasn't the right way to do it at all, that is until he got his totally crazy loony idea, and when he told me about it I was all 'no, no, nuh-uh,' but he was all 'yeah, yeah, uh-huh,' and I kept on telling him and telling him that it was such a bad idea, but he wouldn't listen, he just walked right off inside, and…a-and…and he…I kept trying to stop him, but then he walked right into the house, and when he came out…he…he…"

Hopefully tongue-tied with panic, she paused to attempt to recompose herself before she cried, "Quick we gotta go stop him before he tries to infiltrate the nest!"

For a moment or two, Mac and Frankie just gawked slack-jawed at the little girl, unable to believe their ears until Frankie shrieked, "_WHAT_?"

Immediately she darted out of the shed, with arms and legs pumping furiously as she sprinted as fast as her athletic talents allowed her to, with the little ones following close upon her heels. In just a matter of moments, they made it back out front in record time, only to find that much to their intense horror, they were far too late.

They only managed to arrive on the scene just in time to watch their friend, adorned in a pattern of yellow and black stripes scrawled onto his body with marker of some sort and a butter knife poorly taped to his behind, slowly make his way into the shrub carrying the massive nest.

"Buzzzz! Buzzzzz! Hey look, it's me, a wasp, just like you! Buzzzz! Lemme into the nest, guys! Buzzzz!" Bloo tried to sound as convincing as he could as he clambered up into the branches, and without further ado began to start tearing away at the massive structure in an attempt to crawl inside. "See? Just one of your buzzing brothers trying to get home! Buzzz! Nothing to worry about here! Buzzz! Buzzzz!"

"_BLOO_!" Frankie shrieked to the high heavens once she saw that the outrageously reckless imaginary friend had ripped away enough of the nest to create a hole so large he could fit his head into it. "Get away! Get away! For the love of God, get away from there!"

"Get out of there, Bloo!" Mac howled. "Quick, before-"

For an instant, it seemed as if the figment had actually heeded their words, and suddenly bolted from the nest as if his very life depended on it. Unfortunately, just a moment later they quickly learned this was far too good to be true, for as he raced towards them the frantic little creature yelled, "Go! Go! Quick! Before it blows!"

"Before it what? Before it does _what_" Goo yelped in disbelief. "Bloo, this is a super-gigantic-enormous wasp hive, not a time-bomb or-"

"Just go!" Bloo cried, waving his little stubs wildly. "Seriously, you have no idea how many fireworks I shoved into the-"

Suddenly, it was as if someone had launched a miniature tactical air strike right there in the front yard. With a deafening clamor, the massive nest was ripped apart by a tiny explosion that knocked everyone flat off their feet.

For a few moments, the little group remained where they fell, all slightly stunned by the blast. Finally, with ears ringing slightly, Frankie dazedly clambered upright into a clumsy sitting position, allowing her to survey the damage wrought by Bloo's absurdly and completely unnecessarily drastic pest-control measures. To her shock, most of the enormous nest had completely ceased to be, as did a considerable chunk of the shrub it had been built into. All that was left was but a smoldering remnant, still afire in a few places as a stream of smoke poured out.

A rather peculiar-looking trail of smoke, now that she thought of it…one that almost seemed to hum as it poured out from the wreck of the nest and appeared to be drifting straight towards them oddly rapidly…

"_AAAAAAUUUGGGHHH_!"

The young woman's heart skipped a beat, her jade eyes bulged to the size of saucers, and she erupted into an ear-piercing scream the instant she realized that she was looking at a swarm of enraged survivors. Gripped by profound terror so powerful it was almost excruciating as it coursed through every ounce of her body, Frankie wasted not a single moment as she launched into a desperate retreat. Before the little ones knew what was happening, the panic-stricken caretaker had hastily snatched them all off the ground. With an imaginary blob awkwardly slung across her shoulder and a child under each arm, she bolted off, just barely staying ahead of the swarm trailing closely behind as she sprinted to safety.

With heart pounding in her chest and lungs that felt like they were afire as she gasped raggedly for breath, Frankie managed to dash over to the Foster's bus sitting in the driveway. After nearly clawing the doors open, she literally threw herself inside, scattering her cargo left and right as she just barely managed to shut the doors before their pursuers arrived.

For the next few moments, all was cloaked in a dead silence, save the buzzing of the infuriated wasps outside as they fruitlessly charged the windows again and again in a desperate attempt to break in and take their revenge. As the little group inside lay strewn about, trying to get their bearings or merely trying to get their heart rate back down, Bloo got up, looked at the others, then broke out into an enormous smirk as he asked, "Well? Aren't you guys going to thank me for getting rid of the nest?"

With lips curling into a fierce snarl, Frankie hissed angrily as she cracked her knuckles, "I'm _so_ grateful, I could give you the worst dead arm of your entire life."

"Oh, it was nothing, really!" Bloo laughed as he failed to detect the obvious sarcasm in her tone completely. "I just…wait, what'd you sa-_OWWW_!"

* * *

"Frankie? Frankie! Hey, Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! Hey, Frankerino! Yoohoo! Hey, Frankie! Frankie! Frankieeeeeee! Yo, Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! Frankie!"

The instant she had heard the unmistakable azure nuisance plod into the kitchen, the caretaker in question immediately tried to focus every ounce of all her attention upon the large bowl she was scrubbing. Alas, her efforts to tune Bloo out were utterly futile, as the little imaginary friend marched up directly behind her and continued to yelp excitedly, "Heeeeey, Frankieeeee! Frankie? Frankie? Hey, Frankie! Frankie, down here! Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! Frankie? Frankie? Fra-"

Not even in the mood to reward his persistency with so much as a hasty glance backwards, without even looking the incredibly rankled young woman cried out in exasperation, "_What_?"

"Sheesh! _Someone_ made sure to have a big bowl of Cranky-Flakes for breakfast, didn't she?" she could hear Bloo retort before he started chattering, "Frankie, c'mon, this is important! Honest! See, I was just rooting around, looking for a baseball mitt, but then I found....well, I'm pretty sure that it was a mouse hole, and I-"

"You found _what_?" the young woman involuntarily yelled in dismay as her entire body autmpatically tensed up with alarm. "Oh my God, I swear, if you're going to tell me that you lit five fire crackers and shoved them in there, I'll…oh no, you didn't damage Madame Foster's car or-"

"Hey, cool it there! Easy, easy now! Settle down!" she could hear the little imaginary friend attempt to assuage her panic. "I didn't do anything, honest! No need to play judge, jury and electrocutioner here! I'm only doing exactly what you told me to do from now on whenever I think we have a pest problem; to tell _you_ first. Remember?"

Frankie was just about to scold him again before the shocking realization dawned upon her that for possibly the very first time in his life, Bloo had actually seemed to learn from one of the many horrendous mistakes he made daily. For a few moments, she was genuinely stunned, unsure of what to think or do. Quickly though, she managed to get over her initial shock, and a weak smile started to flitter across her face as she slung her dishtowel over her shoulder, turned around and faced the imaginary blob for the first time.

"Okay, okay..." she chortled softly. " Do you want to show me where the hole is, or..."

She took just one glimpse downwards, and the instant she saw what was dangling from the little creature's blobbish appendages, a wave of intense revulsion instantaneously sent her mute, while the color drained so quickly from her features within a second she resembled a crimson-haired ghost.

While she looked like she was about to faint on the spot, meanwhile, Bloo continued to hold up the two large, wriggling rats he held in either hand and asked as innocently and calmly as could be, "So, do you want me to just let these guys loose out back in the woods, or something? Actually, I think we might be better off calling in a professional, because I've personally never seen mice like _these_ before. Seriously, they're like the size of Chihuahuas or-"

Before he could get a single word further, the imaginary blob was nearly spooked clean out of his skin when the immeasurably disgusted caretaker threw back her head and erupted into a lung-bursting shriek that nearly shattered every window in the massive Victorian mansion.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_!"

As she continued wailing to the high heavens, the revolted redhead promptly made a beeline for the nearest exit, and nearly ripped the door clean of its hinges in her frantic haste to escape. Quivering from head to toe in utter revulsion, Frankie fled from sight, with her spine-chilling shrieks echoing all throughout the expansive household from the deepest depths of the cellar and the way to the heights of the attic.

As soon as the heartbreakingly absurd spectacle was over, for a few moments Bloo just stood silently, stewing in bemusement as he struggled to comprehend what had just happened, to woefully little avail, of course. Finally, the little imaginary friend rolled his eyes and elicited a heavy sigh of deep exasperation before looking down at his two squirming, squeaking captives.

"See?" Bloo whined as he took off in leisurely pursuit of a certain horror-stricken caretaker. "I _told_ you guys this would happen. Seriously, I never get thanks for _anything_ I help out with around here…"

**The End**

**

* * *

**

"…Here, just look at it-"

"Ugh, _no_!"

"Aw, c'mon! Just-"

"Get it _away_ from me!"

"Look, I'm not asking for much, I just want you to-"

"_Blecch_! No way!"

"No, trust me, this is awesome! Just-"

"No! No! I don't want to!"

"You've barely even glanced at it! Now c'mon-"

"_What_ did I just say?"

"Here, look, just lemme hand it over, so you can-"

"No! No! Get it away! Get it away! Get it _away_! Don't think for a minute that I'm _actually_ going to-"

"Here, just hold out your hands, and I'll-_hey_, wait! What're you-"

"_FRANKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!"

Having already heard the extremely peculiar commotion in the nearby hallway swiftly escalate to an insanely ludicrous point, the particular redhead never skipped a beat as she continued to tend to a massive stack of dirty dishes from breakfast.

Nor did she bat so much as an eyelid when her own name was screeched in a truly horrific manner that would send chills rippling down one's spine, and she didn't even involuntarily flinch when she distinctly heard the pit-pat of someone sprinting pell-mell into the kitchen, followed by the distinct sensation of something latching onto her leg in a dogged vice-grip.

As she clearly felt her abrupt visitor quiver uncontrollably, Frances "Frankie" Foster didn't even pass him so much as a hasty glance as she focused on cleansing a particularly filthy diner plate, opting instead for an absentminded inquiry.

"Okay, pal…what's he up to _now_?" she asked carelessly, as if the fact that a blatantly mortified child was clinging to her like a shipwreck victim holding onto a chunk of driftwood was hardly anything out of the norm for her. As the caretaker dutifully went ahead with her chore, Mac elicited a pitiful moan as he tightened his already tenacious hold upon his guardian's limb.

"Y-you really don't want to know…just make him stop..." he whimpered, quaking wildly from head to toe and for some mysterious reason, looking absolutely fit to puke. Depositing a freshly scrubbed platter aside, Frankie just groaned loudly in utter exasperation.

"Mac," she began flatly as she placed her hands upon her hips and glared at him sternly. "_What_ did I tell you about letting him get to you like this? Hmmm? Remember that little talk we had _last_ week? Can you _please_ tell me what we went over?"

The little boy only whined softly as he hastily tried to avert his gaze away, quick realizing he was to receive a woefully minimal amount of sympathy here for his plight. The redhead only rolled her eyes as she wiped her hands dry on a nearby dishtowel before continuing.

"Mac, I expect _much_ better than this from you! In case you've forgotten, bucko, Bloo's _your_ imaginary friend. He _always_ has been, _always_ is, and _always_ will be." She lectured him dutifully. "And since that's the way things are gonna be, then it's entirely _your_ job to keep him in line."

"Yeah, but-" the child whined.

"Nuh-uh!" The caretaker only scolded him. "I don't want _any_ excuses out of you, mister, you hear me? Bloo's been _your_ responsibility for well over five years now, you of _all_ people should be _more_ than familiar with what he's capable of getting into, like it or not."

"But Frankie-"

Before Mac could protest any further, he yelp in surprise as with a few deft movements Frankie expertly detached him from her leg and quickly began to drag the unwilling child forcefully towards the kitchen doors.

"Don't 'But Frankie,' _me_, kiddo! Look, as much as I'd like to, I can't exactly keep on eye on _your_ imaginary friend twenty-four hours a day, can I? Woud that be fair? No, of course not! That's _your_ job, mister, and I expect you to take care of it. I know it's never exactly pleasant, but you really need to start stepping up to the plate and take charge every once in a while, got it? You can't just turn and run whenever-"

"I know, but…b-but this time he-"

"_Not_ another word, Mac Foster." Frankie barked flatly like a scarlet-haired drill sergeant as she forcefully pushed the stubborn child forward. "Besides, we've seen him do almost everything. What in the world could he possibly be doing right now that actually has _you_ of all people so-"

"Hey Frankie, check _this_ out!"

The instant the kitchen door abruptly swung open, the startled caretaker had absolutely no trouble with identifying the familiar azure blob, grinning like a complete dimwit as he stood before her.

The real trouble came however as soon as she laid eyes upon the sorry-looking mess in the little imaginary friend's blobbish appendages.

"_AAAAUUUUGGGGH_!" A bloodcurdling shriek of unfathomable disgust escaped from Frankie's throat, nearly shattering nearby windows with its raw power. As she nearly brought the entire mansion down with her lungpower, Bloo only continued to beam moronically, as if the young woman wasn't only moments away from fainting in a dead heap in her repulsed shock.

"Yeah, gross, isn't it?" he chuckled happily while he held up the pitiful mess of bone and feathers that used to be a living bird. "I found it right out back. But if you think _that's_ bad, then just wait until you poke it -"

"_AUGH_! Not on your life!" The girl only screamed in her unimaginable revulsion, furiously struggling not to vomit as her gut began to churn so violently.

"Yeah, you _know_ it's just that bad!" Bloo only laughed as he carelessly edged further with his God-awful cargo. "Look, see how-"

"Oh God, _NO_!" Frankie bellowed flatly in steadfast refusal as she backed off in a desperate attempt to put some distance between her and the carcass. As she scuttled off to what she deemed was a safe refuge behind the counter, quivering with revulsion, the little creature only shrugged his non-existent shoulders and shook his head almost pityingly before turning to his mortified creator.

"Hey, it's _your_ loss, sister. Do what you want, but as soon as you see me and my buddy here havin' the time of our lives with-" he began casually, ready to toss on arm around the revolted child's shoulders.

"Oh _no_ you don't!" she squealed in horror. Long gone was the austere young woman promoting independence in the name of good parenting only minutes before. Now, moving at a pace that would've let a cheetah gasping for breath, Frankie bolted forward, scooped up the boy in her arms, and fled back a safe distance as she fretted uncontrollably like a Mother Hen all the while.

"Did you touch it? Did you? Did _he_ make you touch it before you came to me? Did _you_ touch _him_ at all while he was holding it? Oh God, oh my God..." she babbled frantically, completely ashen-faced as she checked her charge's hands over for any sign of contact with the feathery corpse, as if she was expecting any moment to locate traces of the bubonic plague.

"Nuh-uh!" Mac managed to squeak as the panic-stricken girl carefully examined him. "He kept asking me though to try to, though, and-"

"He _what_? Oh, God! Mac, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" she began to babble in profuse apology as she stroked his head. "Pal, if only I knew-"

"Well, _you_ didn't exactly give _me_ a chance to tell you, didn't you?" Mac couldn't help but remind her with an irked groan. "I _tried_ to-"

"_You_ could have at least tried to make more of an effort to tell _me_ that Bloo was carrying a _dead animal _around the house!" Frankie snapped in her intense aggravation, right before she roughly pulled up the child's shirtsleeves to continue her frantic check-up. "Did you get any ticks on you? Any fleas, or something nasty like that? Do you feel anything, like a slight pinch? You feelin' itchy anywhere in particular? Oh jeez, I think maybe if we run a bath for you now-"

"Look, guys," Bloo just muttered condescendingly at the heartbreakingly pathetic spectacle as he plodded over, still carrying his unholy burden. "I don't see _what_ the big deal is here, it's just-"

"NOT ANOTHER STEP CLOSER!" The nearly hysterical redhead screamed as soon as he came within five feet. With a yelp of dismay she clutched Mac tightly to herself in a protective squeeze as she clumsily clambered up onto the counter. "Blooragard Q. Kazoo, you take that _thing_ outside right this instant and-"

"And what?" the bemused imaginary friend inquired as ignorantly innocent as could be, while he casually tossed the little corpse from blobbish stub to blobbish stub with careless ease. "Wait...so…you're saying I should show this to everyone outside, first?"

"_NO_!" The thoroughly repulsed duo hollered in unison, right before going back to clinging miserably to one another, as if that would help alleviate their overwhelming sense of nausea brought on by the outrageously revolting sight.

Bloo groaned and rolled his eyes, looking oddly irked with the pair. "Well, can you make up your minds, then? Do you want to see it or-"

"Of course not! That is a dead bird you're holding, Einstein!" Frankie snapped. "Not alive! Dead! You get that? Dead! Dead! _Dead_! As in you are holding something's rotting, festering corpse! It's…it's….it's _DISGUSTING_!"

"Disgusting? _This_ thing? Well…_duh_!" The little imaginary friend scoffed haughtily. "Of course I know _that_! I mean, just look at this thing, it's totally _gross_!"

"So _why_ are you carrying it around the house?" the caretaker implored as she could feel her stomach do a belly flop.

"To show you guys." Bloo answered calmly, as if the answer was so obvious. "So…aren't you guys gonna at least congratulate me for looking where I was walking?"

"_WHAT_?" Both Mac and Frankie cried, their befuddlement soaring to record heights.. Looking absolutely exasperated with the two, Bloo just rolled his eyes and made a direct beeline for the door, murmuring to himself all the way as he continued to drag his revolting cargo behind him.

"Forget it! Just forget it, you guy are never gonna get it! If you're gonna be like _that_, then fine! Now Coco, I'm sure that _she'll_ get a kick out of-"

"Bloo-" Frankie tried to plead, her only futile resort as she was pitifully far from willing to get within so much as within twenty feet of the azure blob as of that moment. The little imaginary friend however only chattered happily to himself as he made a quick exit.

"Oh man, I can't _wait_ to see the look on her face! She's _never_ gonna believe me when I show her what _I_ almost stepped in! Haha! Oh man, good thing I saw it in time, or else that would've been _so_ nasty. I mean, seriously, what possibly could be grosser than _that_…?"

**The End**


	13. Desperate Measures

"Oh…no…"

The little boy groaned miserably as he finally came to terms with the rather unpleasant truth. He was lost, no doubt about it, and all his wandering around the expansive mall didn't seem to be doing him one bit of good. With a sigh, Mac nevertheless continued on, searching around in vain for the lanky redheaded woman he had accidentally gotten separated from.

Casting his gaze about everywhere, Mac prayed desperately he'd spot a red ponytail sticking up out of the crowds, a flash of an emerald sweater, or any sign that Frankie was somewhere nearby. Alas, no such luck. But what exactly could he do? Well, logic dictated that lost children would fare best by heading towards the information booth. Mac had long since ruled out that particular option, however; no, not after a memorable fiasco that had occurred not too long ago when a quick trip to buy streamers had gotten a tad out of hand. There was absolutely no need to get mall security involved here. Chances were that Frankie was probably worried sick already, and so the last thing he wanted to do was to was either embarrass her half to death by having security call her name over the speaker system, or cause some other kind of mess-

"Hey, kid! Hey!"

Before Mac knew it, a pair of security guards clad in matching royal blue uniforms suddenly appeared from clear out of nowhere, much to the child's surprise. As the little boy froze in dismay, one of the guards, a slightly portly woman, quickly planted on a disarming smile.

"Oh, don't be scared! It's okay!" she quickly assured as her partner, a skinny goateed man, got down upon one knee.

"You're looking kinda lost there, little guy." He said gently with a warm smile. "What's wrong? Can't find your parents?"

"I…I-I…." Mac stammered a little while silently cursing his foul luck. Desperately wanting them to simply let him be, the boy finally tried to reply lamely, "Uh….no, I….I'm fine, I'm just….um….waiting for….I'm waiting for her here….y-yeah, I'm waiting for my-"

"No need to be frightened." The female guard just interrupted with a chuckle. "It's al right, you don't need to be frightened of us. We help little ones like you find their mommies and daddies all the time."

"But-" Mac tried to speak up, to no avail as she took him by the hand.

"Don't worry, it's going to be all-"

"_Mac_?" a familiar voice suddenly cried out in surprise. Immediately, both the child and the assembled mall security glanced up at the young woman sporting a head full of long, curly black locks standing only a few feet away, with shopping bags in hand. In a flash, Mac recognized his guardian's best friend, and promptly let out a gasp of relief as Kathy instinctively hurried over, looking as concerned as could be.

"Kiddo, what are you doing here?" she demanded worriedly. "What happened? Where's Fr-"

"Um…excuse me." The goateed guard demanded in puzzlement as he quickly stepped in between young woman and child. "Is this boy yours?"

"Wait, what?" Kathy replied confusedly. "Well, I-"

"I'm all right, it's just….see, I…well, I didn't mean to get lost!" Mac tried to answer her. "It's just that while in Sears, I-"

"That's what happened?" Kathy asked, looking a bit relieved. "Well, that's not too bad, but still…I mean, yikes, how long have you been wandering around? C'mere, I can call F-"

Before she could reach out to take the child by the hand, the female guard inquired with an impatient scowl, "Hey didn't you hear us? We asked you, is this child yours?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure." The young woman replied distractedly as she gathered the little one to her side. She of all people knew quite well how frantic her friend probably was at that very moment, and thus all Kathy really had her mind set on was reuniting a certain redhead with her charge as quickly as possible. "Yeah, he's with me, don't worry. I-"

"Mac? _MAC_!" a shout of unfathomable relief rang through the air like a tolling bell. Suddenly, there was a blur of emerald and scarlet, and before Mac knew it a pair of green-sleeved arms had swept him up onto his feet and into a tight hug.

"_There_ you are!" Frances "Frankie" Foster, looking quite haggard from the panic-attack she had just suffered, exclaimed gratefully as she squeezed the little one tight. "Holy moly, pal, where _were_ you? I feel like I've checked every store twice, and-"

"I'm sorry!" Mac immediately apologized with a guilty grimace. "I'm sorry, Frankie, honest! I didn't mean to! It's just that while we were in Sears, and we tried to cut through that big crowd by the cashier, and I-"

Without warning, the reunion was brought to a swift end as one of the very befuddled guards suddenly barked, "_Hey_!"

"_What_?" Frankie, having just suffered one of a parent's worst nightmares, replied snappily. However, as soon as she saw just who she mouthed off to, instinctively she cringed with a hoarse whimper. "_Ackpth_! Sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"Never mind that, all right? Look, just tell me this." The portly female asked with a suspicious glower. "Just _who_ are _you_?"

"What, me?" the already frazzled young woman answered. "I'm…uh…I'm Mac's-"

"Who, the kid?" the male guard demanded. "You're with him?"

"Yeah," Frankie answered with a nod, hoping once she had affirmed this, then that would be that, and thus they'd all be able to go their own way.

To her alarm, they didn't look they believed her. In fact, they only continued to shower her with wary looks as the same guard replied, "That's funny….because _she_ just told us the kid was with _her_."

"_Huh_?" the redhead grunted in bafflement, not aware yet that Kathy was standing no less that five feet away. "Who? Wait, wait, _who_? Who said that Mac is-"

"_What_?" Kathy exclaimed in surprise once realization set in. "_Augh_! Wait! No, wait! Nuh-uh! Look, that's _not_ what I meant when I said that-"

"_Kathy_?" Frankie let loose with a startled yelp, and her entire body jerked in shock once she turned her head and realized her friend was practically standing right beside her. "Kathy, what's-_mmph_!"

The other young woman clapped a hand to the redhead's mouth as she hastily threw herself into the struggle to avert a potentially nasty misunderstanding. "You have to understand me, guys; when I said that, I _didn't_ mean like I'm his family or something, I'm just-"

"Wait…." the portly female guard interrupted as she scratched her head. "So….you're saying _this_ lady here is the boy's mother?"

"Right!" Frankie pulled her mouth free and instinctively agreed before she actually understood the statement that she had just confirmed. "No, wait! No, no, no! I don't mean it like _that_, I-"

"But aren't you a little young to have a kid _that_ old already?" the goateed guard questioned as he shot her a very odd look.

"No, it's not like _that_!" Mac groaned in despair.

"Uh-huh!" Frankie chimed in as she put the little boy down. "See, we are family, but….well, not like in….look, thing is, we're not exactly related, but….okay, we're not related at all, but-"

"Not related?" the female guard repeated curiously. "What the? So how in the world-"

"No, no, it's like this!" it was Kathy's turn to try and explain. "There're not related, but…okay, look, we're gonna be here forever if I start from the beginning, but it's like this, Frankie _adopted_ Mac, so they _are_ family."

"Yeah, yeah that's right!" Frankie affirmed as she nodded so furiously her ponytail became a crimson blur. "I'm his guardian!"

For a few moments, the trio received nothing but a pair of stares, as if they were completely out of their minds.

"Wait, so….you're saying that…_how_ old are you, exactly?"

"Uh….twenty-three…" Frankie answered with a nervous gulp once it became clear that they weren't out of the woods yet by any means. "And….and Mac's nine, and-"

The female security guard cocked an eyebrow. "So….you're really saying that you, a girl _that_ young, volunteered to _adopt_ a kid _that_ old? And now _you're_ his parent?"

When it was put like that, as much as Frankie hated to admit it, it all sounded like nothing more than a pile of cockamamie phony-baloney.

"Uh…big sister…er….guardian…." she answered. "But…well, yeah basically I'm-"

"So can you prove this?"

"What do you mean, can she prove this?" Kathy demanded.

"Yeah, of course I can!" Frankie brightened up excitedly. "I have the paperwork and everything! All the official-"

"And just where are these papers?" one of the guards interrupted. In a heartbeat, the hopeful smile vanished clean from the redhead's face.

"Uh….back home…." She whimpered, fully aware just how much it sounded like nothing more than a clichéd excuse.

The mall personnel gawked curiously at her for a few moments, passed one another a glance, and then without further ado the male guard suddenly reached forward and grabbed the redhead by the wrist.

"_Hey_!" Frankie yelped. "Hey, what're you doing?"

"Come with us, ma'am." He just demanded flatly, to her alarm.

"No, no wait! It's true, it's true! I swear, all of it is true! I know it sounds weird, but... look, sometimes I carry a photocopy of his adoption form on me, just lemme check my....uh....okay, I know it's here in my purse _somewhere_, I just-""

"So you really _are_ responsible for the kid _you_ 'adopted'? Even though _she_ said he's with her?" the portly woman said dismissively as she grabbed Kathy by the sleeve of her coat and took Mac's hand.

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean….I-I mean…." Frankie stammered, hopelessly flustered beyond compare at this point.

"Yes, yes!" Kathy, too eager to avoid a fiasco, blurted out before her brain could process what she was saying.

"Yeah, now _that's_ a rich one." Growled the guard. "C'mon, knock it off with the funny business. It's time we figure out just what in the world you two are up to here."

"But….b-but…" Kathy babbled as her mind raced furiously. Lord only knew what kind of ordeal they were about to go through, and chances are that whatever it was, it was going to be a while until this whole mess was all finally sorted out.

A moment later though, a plan suddenly surfaced in her mind. At first, she grimaced at the idea. However, she had to admit, it was worth a shot, seeing how they were having such difficulty staying out of trouble by simply attempting to tell the peculiar truth. That, and she had to admit, she was feeling extraordinarily pressured to act fast before the situation could spiral out of hand any further. Without even making any attempt to come up with anything better, Kathy took a deep breath, then launched right into action.

"Hey, what're you doing?" snapped the female security guard as the young woman wriggled free and pulled Mac away with a few swift but clumsy maneuvers.

Boldly glaring back defiantly, Kathy proclaimed, "I'll only say this once more; it's true, _every_ last word."

"No, no, part of it!" Frankie promptly disagreed as she true liberated herself with a furious yank. "Mac's mine, but Kathy's only my frie-"

"It's all right." Her friend interrupted as she patted Frankie's shoulder with a wink. "Don't worry, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We can tell them…."

At this point, Kathy had to really force herself to try and keep a straight face before trying to say in as a convincingly affectionate tone she could, "_Honey_."

"…..Uh…..say that again?" the totally dumbfounded redhead requested, not catching on right away.

"…So let me get this straight one more time; the kid _she_ said that _she_ adopted _is_ also with _you_?" the chubby female guard summarized.

Using every ounce of acting talent she had at her disposal, Kathy tried to calmly herd Mac to Frankie's side, then without further ado she clasped onto one of the redhead's hands and squeezed tightly.

"Yes, he's with _us_." She proclaimed in "pride."

"K-Kathy?" Frankie whined as she cringed uncomfortably. "Kathy what are you d-"

Without any warning, Kathy turned her head, grimaced apologetically, and then promptly planted a kiss upon the caretaker's exposed cheek. In a flash, Frankie went as mute as a stone in dumb shock, while her emerald eyes promptly widened to the circumference of dinner plates.

"_Huh_?" Mac could only squeak as he descended into the furthest depths of absolute bewilderment.

"Don't worry, sweetie, just let mom take care of this." Kathy replied as she ruffled his hair, which of course did absolutely nothing to assuage his skyrocketing befuddlement.

Meanwhile, the pair of security personnel didn't know what to think at that point, if their expressions of total puzzlement were any sign whatsoever.

"So….uh…you mean to tell me that-" one of them tried to speak up.

Almost immediately, Kathy curled her lips into a fierce, offended scowl. "What? Are you saying that you have a problem with that?"

"Huh? No, it's just-" the portly female guard barely got out a few words before the young woman unleashed a brutal tongue-lashing as she launched into an Oscar-worthy performance.

"Yeah, right! Do you have _any_ idea how sick and tired I am with dealing with your _type_? Huh? Do you? Here I am, trying to get some errands done with my family, but no, apparently, that's just _too_ much to ask for, isn't it? So we get separated from our…uh…our son for a little bit…"

"Oh…for crying out loud…." Frankie, absolutely mortified that some people were attracted by her friend's "outrage", groaned in despair as her face went flush. Meanwhile, still just as mystified as ever, Mac just clung to one of her legs with a low whine.

"…And _you_ two have to turn this into some kind of interrogation! Seriously, just _what_ is wrong with you? Hmm?"

By this point, Kathy had successfully made short work of mall security, and with seconds both personnel were reeling with embarrassment.

"I…I'm so sorry…" the goateed guard sputtered out an apology as he gestured for Kathy to calm down. "We just….uh….we just thought that…I mean, it just sounded kinda odd at first, and….augh, no! No, I don't mean that, I…I-I…just didn't guess that…and the kid's so old already, and-"

"So what?" Kathy snapped, sending a man nearly a foot taller than her cringing uncontrollably under the tone of her voice. "Honestly, what now? So we should have someone younger, then? Is that what you're saying? That if it's not a baby, it doesn't deserve to be given a loving home? Huh? Tell them, Frankie!"

"Uh-" the redhead just grunted dumbly. However, after her friend urgently squeezed her hand several times, signaling her to join in so to add some more legitimacy to their story, Frankie finally tried to plant on a forced smile. "Uh…we…er…it was….uh….love at first sight when we first saw him at the orphanage?"

Unable to believe what she had just said, the caretaker's already blazing blush darkened noticeably, and she shot Mac a pleading look, as if silently begging the horrifically confused child to forgive her.

"That's right!" Kathy just continued, hopelessly caught up in the act. "My Frankie absolutely refused to return home without him. Now, he's our pride and joy, and if you people actually have the nerve to tell us otherwise, then you have another thing-"

"We're sorry, we're sorry!" the female guard blurted out. "Sorry! No, we didn't mean anything, it's just….uh….I…"

"It was just a big misunderstanding." Her partner explained. "Seriously, we're sorry, we…um…we just didn't know, and-"

"Well if you're really so sorry, then for God's sake, could you just let us get on with our day?" Kathy hissed.

Without another word, the pair of mall security each gave a silent apologetic nod before whirling around and hastily vacating the scene in a brisk pace. Likewise, the several bystanders that had amassed also took this as their cue to leave, and within moments, it was as if the fiasco never happened. Well, as long as one was willing to ignore the fact that Frankie looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment, while her charge remained perplexed beyond comprehension.

"What…what just happened?" Mac asked softly, with eyes bulging in bafflement. With a groan, Frankie just gather him back up into her arms and hugged him in an attempt to calm both the boy and herself.

Meanwhile, looking rather pleased with her spur-of-the-moment performance, Kathy sighed heavily in relief. "_Whew_! Glad that's over with! Yeesh, what a bunch of…ah, nevermind, it's over, it's all over, thankfully. That was a pretty close call though, huh? Now, why in the first place were they-_oh_! Oh, right! Almost forgot! What happened to you guys? You okay? Frankie, how'd you lose Mac? I mean, I had literally just walked out of American Apparel, and the little guy was right there, with-"

To say the least, Frankie wasn't exactly in the mood for chatting. However, what she was in the mood to discuss was the fact that despite her friend's results from her spur-of-the-moment performance, there probably were much, _much_ better ways that they could've handled that particular situation. Most unfortunately for Kathy though, this was one of those moments where the redhead strongly felt that actions spoke more than mere words.

"_OW_!" Kathy yelped as in a flash, Frankie transferred Mac to one arm and socked her soundly in the shoulder.

As the young woman instinctively began rubbing her injured arm furiously, the redhead announced flatly, "We have _got_ to talk about your problem-solving skills."

To avoid any dispute on the matter, Frankie placed Mac atop her shoulders, then snatched up Kathy's purchases before marching off straight into the direction of the food court, ferrying along both her charge and several shopping bags.

Seeing that it did little good protesting, Kathy followed along, muttering grumpily under her breath, "I think I want a divorce…."

**The End **


	14. Was That So Hard?

"…I can't stand it! I just can't! And I _won't_! I would rather die than stand for this hideous excuse for decent living conditions!"

What resembled an aardvark and a surrealist painting smashed together nearly went scarlet in her pale yellow face as she ranted on and on, as if there was no bigger injustice in the world than the current state of her extravagant bedroom.

"The rabbit and old woman call _this_ rat trap habitable? Just look at this!" Duchess hissed as she wiped a finger on one of the posts of her canopy bed and snarled at what she found. "Dust! Actual grime in _my_ room! I might as well be living under the stairs in the cellar! Can you not see that I'm practically drowning in an ocean of filth?"

As dramatic as her performance was, the hapless lanky figment she was whining piteously too appeared rather unmoved, and if anything only appeared to be terribly confused about her grievances as he glanced about the elegant room that looked fit enough for a queen.

"Um…" Wilt grunted and shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot before he answered truthfully, "I'm sorry, Duchess, but…well, it doesn't look that bad to me at all-"

"Figures!" she just spat scornfully. "I should've guessed you wouldn't be able to spot how obviously unbearable it is in here with just one working eye and the other rolling about uselessly like a black marble in your head!"

As much as he struggled, Wilt couldn't help but let the tactless comment about his wonky eye get to him, and instinctively tried to cover it a little as he deplored softly, "Please, Duchess, I'm sorry but you don't have to-"

"I can't stand this! I _won't_ stand for this!" the prissy creature shouted as she nearly threw an adult-sized tantrum. "It's as if I'm being forced to live in a mere pigsty! The curtains need to be clean, the furniture needs to be dusted, my windows need washing…"

As she compiled a hefty list of everything that needed to be done for her unreasonably high expectations to be met, Wilt grimaced as he held up the broom in his grasp.

"But…but Duchess, Madame Foster told me I was only supposed to sweep the hallways on this floor." He unsuccessfully tried to explain. "Maybe you can ask some of the other friends to help you out in here if you want to clean up-_OOF_!"

Before he could get in another word, he was forced to drop his broom as she tossed a pile of bed sheets his way, which he managed to awkwardly catch as she ranted on without pause.

"…And these sheets! Why, they're absolutely disgusting! I might as well sleep under a pile of soiled rags! I won't sleep another wink until these are all properly washed separately!"

"But Duchess-"

"I cannot bear any of this for one instant longer! I need my room to be properly cleaned, as soon as possible! Do you understand? Or would you rather that I continued on living in filth and muck like common swine?"

The excruciatingly fussy imaginary friend had done absolutely nothing but berate and load chore after unnecessary chore upon him for the last five minutes straight. Yet, despite all the abuse she had just put him through, in the end Wilt could still only answer morosely, "Okay…I'll help clean up in here…"

"_Well_?" Duchess just snapped ungratefully. "If you're actually going to do something, then don't just stand there like an imbecile! Get started!"

With this, she forcibly shoved him out of her domain and into the hall, and no sooner had she herded him off, she slammed the door shut with a loud _bang _that echoed loudly throughout the entire floor.

After taking a moment to reconsolidate his hold upon the sizable bundle of dirty sheets in his grasp, the crimson figment heaved a heavy sigh, then without a wasting a moment, wheeled around and headed off towards the laundry room. However, despite the fact that he had just been forcefully conscripted into tending to a list of chores a mile long, oddly enough the irrepressibly kindhearted imaginary friend almost immediately began to try and justify the fact that he had gotten the thin end of the stick, as he was apt to do in such situations.

"Well…maybe I wasn't looking hard enough in there…" he murmured to himself. "It could've been pretty nasty in there…maybe if I had put a little more effort, I could see why she was so upset…I mean, I know _I_ wouldn't like living like a-"

He was suddenly interrupted by the sensation of something soft and rubbery striking the back of his legs, followed by a flurry of giggles. Before he knew it, the scarlet thought found himself breaking out into his trademark toothy smile as he craned his neck about and spotted a familiar little redhead standing just a few feet behind him, clutching a bright green ball in her tiny hands.

"Hey there." He laughed as the four-year-old bounced her toy against his legs again with an energetic whoop.

"Hi, Wilt!" Frances "Frankie Foster" squeaked as she signaled her obvious desire to play.

As soon as her intentions became clear, immediately the smile vanished from his face as he replied with a frown, "I'm…I'm sorry, Frankie, but maybe later…I have some things to take care of first-"

Like what?" she demanded curiously. The child seemed to be absolutely befuddled by his answer; it wasn't often that he wouldn't gladly take time out to partake in some silly game with her, and so she just stared blankly as her tried to explain sheepishly,

"I'm sorry, but…well…you see, Duchess needs me to help her-"

At the mere mention of that fateful name, almost immediately the little one's face twisted into a revolted grimace.

"_Why_?" Frankie scowled, unable to wrap her mind around the concept. "Why you helpin' that meanie? She's gwoss!"

"Because…because…" Wilt stammered before finally replying lamely, "Because she asked me to."

"But she's a yucky witch!" Frankie countered. "You coulda told her you didn't wanna-"

"Yeah but…" Wilt paused, unsure of how to explain it to her. "See, I…when other people ask me for help, then….I don't know, I guess I just can't say 'no' if someone else needs-"

"But you say it to _me_." Frankie pointed out with a frown, forcing a weak grin out of the lanky creature. "You did it yestewday-"

"Right…but I guess that's only because I don't want you to get into trouble or anything. Remember how Mr. Herriman said you were going to be sent to your room if you tried to bother him again? We couldn't let _that_ happen, could we?"

"…Uh-uh." She agreed as she mulled over this new revelation.

"It's kinda weird, I know." He admitted. "But…I guess that's just how I am…I mean, I guess I wouldn't be very nice if all I never gave anyone a helping hand when they needed-"

"But…but you can tell Duchess no!" Frankie objected persistantly. "It's easy!"

"Maybe for _you_ it is." Wilt laughed at the irrepressibly stubborn child. "I guess I just don't like to…"

With a sigh, he shook his head as he resumed sauntering towards the laundry room. "I'm sorry, Frankie, I have to take care of this. I'll play with you later on, though, all right?"

To his surprise, he didn't hear so much as one squeak in reply. Immediately, he came to a dead halt and turned back around, only to see that the child was absolutely nowhere to be seen.

"Uh…Frankie?" he asked confusedly. "Frankie? Where-"

"_OW_!"

The instant the wail of pain rang out for half the entire house to hear, immediately a familiar little redhead shot out of a bedroom down the hall with a squeal of terror, as if a rapid dog was chasing her. If only that were the case; unfortunately, it was much, _much_ worse as Foster's resident royal pain charged out of her room in hot pursuit of the little one.

"_YOU FOUL LITTLE WEASEL_!" Duchess bellowed as she tried to nab the miscreant. "Sneak into my quarters, then hurl a ball at my face? You miserable cretin, you'll pay for trying to mar my beauty! Get back here!"

After barely missing a swipe of her pursuer's finely manicured nails, the child shrieked as she dashed as quickly as her little legs could carry her away to safety.

"_Frankie_!" Wilt yelped in horror at the sight.

"Don't think you can get away!" Duchess snapped as she kept up a surprisingly swift pace in her high-heels. "As soon as I get my hands on you, I'll ring your little ne-_OOF_!"

She was abruptly cut off in mid-threat as she suddenly crashed headlong into a pair of towering crimson legs. After dazedly stumbling backwards a few paces, she found much to her surprise a certain gangly figment standing directly between her and the child, with her bed sheets now lying forgotten on the floor in a heap where Wilt had dropped them.

Recovering swiftly from her initial shock, Duchess narrowed her misshapen eyes and curled her lips into a fierce snarl as she snapped, "Out of the way! Do you know what that little rat did to me? I'll tan her hide and hang it up over my-"

Despite the savage ferocity in her tone as she glared daggers at the little one taking cover behind the lanky imaginary friend, Wilt didn't even flinch, or even blink. It was almost as if it were a completely different ten-foot-tall imaginary friend standing his ground as he leaned over and replied flatly, "_No_, Duchess."

"Yes, yes I will! That savage little monster is going to pay dearly-" Duchess tried to protest as she marched forward, only to have a spindly hand place itself upon her stomach and roughly push her back a few steps.

"_I'll_ take care of it." Wilt declared, still trying to remain gentle with her. "Please, just leave it all to me."

At first she was taken aback, utterly unsure of what to make of his defiance. Not one to accept defeat easily however, Duchess snarled again as she trotted a few steps forward, with arm thrust out towards Frankie.

"You have no idea what the brat did to me!" she hissed as she want a stabbing motion with one of her nails in the direction of the little one. "Only _I_ can make sure she's never idiotic enough to even _think_ about trying to-"

Her outstretched fingers came within a few inches from where Frankie sought refuge before in a heartbeat. However, no sooner had the child wailed in alarm when Duchess suddenly found herself swept off the floor with a wail of surprise. Before she could even begin to comprehend that she was dangling helplessly several feet off the floor, Wilt glared her straight in the eyes and demanded sternly, as if speaking to a naughty child, "_What_ did I just say?"

So startled by she was his steadfast tone, or the cold look in his good eye, Duchess honestly didn't know whether he was going to scold her, or throttle her. Either way, she swiftly decided it'd be best if she made a hasty exit. As soon as she started squirming about, signaling her urgent desire to escape with whatever bit of her dignity she had left, the lanky imaginary friend wordlessly set her back upon the floor, and in an instant she had scuttled from sight.

For a moment, Wilt nodded in satisfaction as he watched her leave. However, it wasn't long at all until realization of what he actually just did finally set in. Once this occurred, his facial tone paled to the color of flour, his jaw dropped, and the poor creature looked as horrified as if he had just kicked a puppy.

"Oh….oh, no! I…I just…."

Immediately he looked down at the child standing at his feet. "Frankie, I'm sorry! I'm sorry you had to see that! I-I don't know what came over me, I….I'm sorry, it's just I thought…wait, wait, no! No, I'm not sorry! Well…actually, I am, but…Frankie, just what was that all about? That is not okay! That is just _not_ okay! That's really, really, _really_ not okay! Sorry, but you can't just walk into other people's rooms and just throw things at them! What do you think you were…"

As soon as she saw the proudly beaming little one didn't appear to be the slightest bit remorseful for what she had done, he trailed off, unsure of what to make of her glee.

"What? " he pried in puzzlement. "What are you so happy about? Look what you made me do! I actually……._oh_…"

As soon as realization settled in, he went dumbstruck for a few moments, and just gawked at her blankly. That is, until the toothy smile began to took root upon his face, as much as he tried to fight it with all his might.

"You…you little sneak." Wilt struggled to sound stern, but only managed to force it out in an uncontrollable chuckle.

"See?" Frankie just squeaked jubilantly with a grin as he ruffled her hair. "_Told_ you it was easy…"

**The End **


	15. Bonding Time

"…You _sure_ you can't get it here any faster? Oh...oh, okay…thank you very much for your help…bye."

Frances "Frankie" Foster hung up her cell phone, took one glance at the little boy sitting right at her side, and immediately elicited a long, aggravated groan.

It wasn't as though she usually found Mac's presence itself to be a major annoyance, however. In all reality, when it came right down it, in most situations she'd gladly prefer the company of her charge to most others.

Despite this, at this particular moment Frankie found it almost impossible to be severely exasperated; after all, most days they didn't often find themselves hopelessly glued at the wrists.

"Hey, what're you looking at _me_ for?" Mac snapped testily. "I _warned_ you to be careful with the model glue!"

Frankie automatically grew flushed as she embarrassedly averted her gaze.

"I know, I _know_." She confessed as she writhed about uncomfortably under his harsh glower. "Mac, do you honestly think I wanted some bonding time, I meant it _this_ literally?"

While her raging blush intensified until to the point where her skin and fiery crimson hair became nearly indistinguishable, the normally good-natured child found himself unable to fight off pangs of guilt for the torment he was putting her through. Hastily, Mac wiped away his glare and replaced it with a weary frown.

"I'm sorry, Frankie," he apologized sincerely as her patted her knee. "I'm sorry, it's just…well…"

He pointed to the top of his wrist just below the back of his right hand, which currently lay firmly attached to the young woman's left wrist.

"I know, I know…" Frankie murmured. "I understand, it's kinda hard not to be mad when we're…y'know…"

Mac nodded wordlessly, and for a few moments they sat quietly as a long, painfully awkward silence descended upon them.

"So…how long is this gonna last?" the boy whimpered. Frankie just moaned, which as expected, did woefully little to alleviate his worries.

"Well, the company who makes the glue told me that they also make a solution that should do the trick…unfortunately, the earliest they can get it to us is in two days, and-"

Rather than explode into a fierce outrage over the sheer injustice of it all, Mac took the horrific news oddly calmly, and if anything was only wearied by the bad news.

"I _knew_ you were going to say something like that," he groaned. "I _knew_ it."

"Oh, lighten up." Frankie admonished. "C'mon, you know just as well as I do that we've been through worse than _this_."

"But during the 'Funny Bunny' Incident, were we stuck to Mr. Herriman for forty-eight hours straight?" Mac grumbled sourly. "_OW_!"

"Cut the sass, mister." Frankie scolded sternly as she pinched his ear. "Attitude like that isn't going to get us anywhere."

"Frankie, we're _glued_ at the wrist!" Mac reminded her grumpily. "I told you, it's a little hard to keep cool when-"

"Will you knock it off with the drama?" she implored. "Mac, c'mon! If we're gonna get through this, we can't be at each others throats like mad dogs! Either we buck up and work together to try and learn to cope with this for the next two days, or …Mac? You okay?"

Much to her befuddlement, the child had somehow gone through a most radical transformation. In less than a moment, all his bitter anger had vanished into a thin air as his face suddenly began to pale rapidly and his expression became foully distorted with unspeakable terror.

"Mac?" Frankie continued to inquire worriedly. "Pal? What's wro-"

"_How_ do we go to the bathroom?" Mac managed to whisper hoarsely.

The second she understood the most hideous of conundrums that they now had on their hands, the color abruptly drained from the redheaded caretaker's face as her jaw nearly plummeted to the floor. For a few moments, the terror-stricken duo nearly resembled a pair of ghosts as they unblinkingly stared wordlessly into each other's bulging eyes.

After what felt like an unbearably agonizing eternity of the terrible silence, Mac took a hard gulp before attempting to reluctantly suggest in a low murmur,

"I…I-I guess that one can just look away while the other-"

Before he could finish, Frankie clamped a hand tightly over his mouth and hissed defiantly, "Don't you dare even _think_ about it."

Mac had never before in his life willingly ignored nature's call for ten hours straight and counting. Unfortunately, he had now learned the hard way precisely why most rational human being undertook such an unreasonably painful endeavor.

To say simply that he needed to use the little boys room would hardly have done justice in describing the torment he was going through; the child felt as if someone was mercilessly squeezing his bladder in a red-hot vice grip and increasing the excruciating pressure with every passing second. As he fought bravely to try and keep his mind off his agony, Mac bounced up and down inadvertently where he sat upon the couch, as if he was in the midst of a massive earthquake.

Frankie was in no position to gripe about his incessant squirming, or even notice it for that matter considering her discomfort was just as severe, possibly more. The young woman wasn't quite sure, and didn't exactly care; all she knew was that someone could've forced her face-first inside an industrial furnace and the torture wouldn't be a quarter as unbearable as what she felt at that very moment. As the pressure began to actually force her to break out into a sweat, Frankie rubbed her bare knees together and chewed so hard upon her lower lip it seemed like she was about to bite the entire thing clean off any second.

There the two sat upon the TV room sofa, wriggling about in an agony no master poet in any language could possibly even come remotely close to describing. Earlier, that had managed to distract themselves by tending to the lanky caretaker's chores. Unfortunately, their success there had been limited at best, for since Mac had no choice but to be there to help her with every duty, they had managed to accomplish quite a hefty list in only half the time it would've taken Frankie to accomplish it all on her own. Although a profoundly bemused Mr. Herriman had tried to acquiesce to their pleas and find them more busywork, there were only so many rooms in the house that had to be dusted, and so many floors to be swept and mopped.

At the moment, it looked as if the Victorian mansion had never been lived in, and every filth-free room practically sparkled from the duo's earlier frenzied cleaning in their desperate attempts to divert their attention from the sharp strain on their bladders. However, pride in a job well done wasn't nearly enough to keep them sufficiently distracted, so for now the two tried to watch some television out of the hope that it'd keep their minds off their torment.

Sadly, it appeared that even that was too much to ask for, as Mac held the remote and flipped from channel to channel.

"…And so, heavy rainfall should be expected later this week…" a chubby weatherman announced cheerily with a fat smile.

"Change it." Frankie ordered flatly with a wince of discomfort. Hastily, Mac did as bid.

_Click_.

"….Construction on the Hoover Dam began in early…"

"_Augh_! Change it!" the young woman yelped in panic. The boy was all too eager to comply.

_Click_.

"…Next up on the Discovery Channel; Niagara Falls, one of the great natural wonders of…"

"Change it!"

_Click_.

"…And with the Waterwizard Sprinkling System, your lawn can be the envy of…"

"Change it!"

_Click_.

"...Niagara Falls straddles the US and Canadian borders…"

"_Augh_! Wrong way! Change it, change it!" Frankie cried piteously as the very sight of the massive flowing waterfall on the screen increased her urge to relieve herself just an unaffordable tad more. As the strove desperately to find a TV program that didn't remind them of the punishment they were forcing their bodies through, they failed to ignore the sole spectator of their heart-wrenchingly pitiful performance watching through her thick glasses until she rapped her cane upon the ground and sighed heavily.

"Good gracious, please don't tell me you two are _still_ at it!" Madame Foster murmured as she shook her head in disbelief. "Heavens, you two must be close to bursting by this point-"

"We'd prefer it if you'd not say _anything_ like that!" Mac begged shamelessly and shot her a pleading gaze, to absolutely no avail. The old woman gave the two a reprimanding glare as she hobbled into the room.

"For heavens sake! Just go to the bathroom; _now_." She demanded sternly.

"Hello? Have you forgotten something?" Frankie replied incredulously as she raised her arm, lifting Mac's along with it. "Model-glue, remember?"

"I don't care if you're chained at the neck." Madame Foster scolded. "Do you honestly think you can keep this up for another whole day?"

"Grandma, I'm _not_ going to use the bathroom with Mac right at my side!" her granddaughter protested defiantly.

"Ditto." Mac chimed in with a determined nod.

"Oh, really? Well I'm not going to give you one of my kidneys after _yours_ explode in the next half-hour!" Madame Foster countered before switching to a more pleading tone, "Dearie, please! This can't possibly be healthy for either of you. I know you don't like the very thought of it, but for your own sake, can you just-"

"No way!" Mac immediately refused steadfastly.

"What's the other gonna do while one goes? Wear a blindfold?" Frankie exclaimed as her face contorted in revulsion. "Not on your life!"

"Dearie-"

"No, Grandma!" Frankie stubbornly rebuffed the appeal while she continued to squirm about uncomfortably. "Whatever you're going to say, no!"

"Frankie-"

"No! I'm not stepping foot within five feet of a toilet until the glue company sends us the solution in the mail! You hear me? The next time I go to use the little girl's room, I'm going to go _alone_! Mac is _not_ going to be forced to stand next to me while I-"

At wits end with the unreasonably stubborn pair, Madame Foster exasperatedly threw her arms up in the air, as she appeared to finally lose all patience.

"You two are absolutely unbelievable!" she sighed. "Do you know that? Simply unbelievable!"

With this, the sorely frustrated old woman promptly whirled about and hobbled briskly from the room, all the while grumbling under her breath about the infuriating obstinacy of some people.

Believing that the battle had been won and that they were once again free to struggle to endure the horrific strain on their bladders in peace, Frankie heaved a sigh of relief and tousled Mac's hair with her unstuck hand.

"Don't worry, we can get through this." She murmured encouragingly with a wan grin, while Mac just gritted his teeth tightly as for the third time that hour his discomfort reached record proportions.

"I hope so-" he tried to reply, but he had barely began to speak before with a clack of a cane, a very familiar old woman reentered just as abruptly as she had left, much to Frankie's obvious annoyance.

"Grandma, I _told_ you." The redhead groaned with a roll of her eyes. "For the last time, Mac and I are not-"

"Just hold on a sec dearie." Madame Foster interrupted as she stood directly in front of the television, where Mac was able to spot a rather out of place article clutched in one of her wrinkled hands.

"Huh?" the child grunted confusedly. "Hey, why do you have one of Frankie's bathing suits-"

Before he could finish, Madame Foster wordlessly lifted the coat hanger upon which the baby blue two-piece swimsuit hung, prominently displayed it before them all, then requested curtly in a no-nonsense manner as she held it up to her wizened figure, "Now…imagine this on _me_."

The results were instantaneous; the second the unimaginably horrific sight had been burned into the minds of her audience-

"_AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHH_!" A scream of indescribable repulsion ripped from their throats. Unable to endure the uncalled-for assault on their vision, the two turned about and desperately tried to get away from the ungodly image the old woman presented. However, in their haste to get away the child and girl accidentally tried to dart off in opposite directions, and at first where only hopelessly anchored in place by the other.

However, their disgust was too overwhelming to allow them the clarity of mind to properly coordinate their retreat. With a strength borne of unfathomable desperation surging through every ounce of their bodies, Frankie and Mac both dug in their heels, put on an incredible burst of effort, and with a clamor akin to someone taking apart two attached Velcro straps they wrenched their hands free from one another in frantic haste.

Even after the immensely successful though highly unorthodox separation procedure was complete, the panic-stricken young woman and mortified child nearly exited the room completely before comprehension of what had just happened simultaneously hit them with the force of a speeding bus. Moving eerily in almost perfect unison, they stopped dead in mid-retreat, paused, gawked dumbstruck at their liberated wrists for a few moments, then slowly craned their necks towards the jubilant old woman nearby.

"…G-grandma…you…y-you…" Frankie began to stammer incredulously.

Awash with relief, Madame Foster struggled to modestly stifle her victorious smirk before she inquired gently, "Don't you have some business to take care of right now?"

Neither needed absolutely no second bidding. Instantaneously the young redhead appeared to have transformed into a veritable scarlet blur, as Mac likewise suddenly became a human bullet as they raced off into opposite directions towards different bathrooms.

"_THANK YOU_!" the pair managed to yell hoarsely in strained unison, and within less than a second they had vanished from sight.

However, only about one second later, Frankie raced right back to ask worriedly as she did a mad hopping dance of discomfort. "Grandma?"

"Yes, dearie?"

"Thanks, but….please don't ever do that again." She begged.

The old woman just grinned as her granddaughter raced off. "Let's just hope it never comes to that."

"….Grandma?"

The old woman glanced up from her knitting once she heard the familiar voice call for her. As soon as she saw the lanky redhead and the brown-haired little boy holding hands in her bedroom doorway, Madame Foster burst out chortling.

"Oh, please!" she implored modestly with a light smile. "I told you earlier, there's absolutely no need to thank me anymore, I-"

"Um….no, it's…uh…it's not about that…" Frankie cut in meekly. It was right about then that Madame Foster realized both of the pair were sporting a bright scarlet blush in blatantly obvious embarrassment over something.

"Dearie?" she asked softly. "Is everything okay?"

"I…I just…" the girl murmured softly in reply as she fidgeted anxiously with her ponytail. "See, once we were free, we…w-we had decided to get a little celebratory snack, and…well, I wanted to show Mac how to make a favorite of mine, see, but…uh, we had just gotten all the ingredients together when….um…."

Too humiliated to attempt and explain it any further, Frankie sighed heavily and raised her arm. Immediately it became perfectly clear to the stunned old woman that Mac wasn't holding the redhead's hand as much as he was clearly cemented by the palm, as shown by how he was hefted a clear floor of the floor along with the rest of Frankie's arm.

"Oh….oh, dear…." Madame Foster managed to whisper incredulously at the ludicrous sight.

As Frankie fidgeted about uneasily under her grandparent's disbelieving stare, Mac just whimpered apologetically, "Peanut butter mixed with caramel _seemed_ like a good idea at the time…"

**The End **


	16. Home Alone

Was there anything worse in the whole world than a vicious case of the flu?

Undoubtedly, but at the moment a certain ailing little girl couldn't name a single one of those nastier alternatives. So stricken was she with fever, she could barely think at all for that matter as she lay curled up in her bed, looking as if she was standing at death's door.

It was bad enough that she had been so mercilessly struck down by this sickness the night before, sending her temperature skyrocketing and making her so queasy she could barely stomach anything other than some water now and then. However, along with that heaping portion of misery, Goo also found herself saddled with a sizable side dish of guilt as well. After all, the family had been planning to pay her grandparents a visit at their home a few towns over since the beginning of the week, and no one was more excited abut the outing than the child herself.

However, apparently her health seemed to have had other plans as the flu bug she had contracted from clear out of the blue unexpectedly incapacitated her. Thus, all thanks to her, their Saturday had gone straight down the toilet without a trace. And, although her mother had just been in her room half-an-hour ago, reassuring the child that these things "just happen" and it wasn't her fault, it still didn't make Goo feel so much as one smidgeon better. No matter how many times she was told that everything was going to be just fine, it _still_ didn't change the fact that her mother and mother were stuck here tending to her, and to say she felt terrible about the whole mess would've been an understatement at the very least.

So now there she lay, wracked by a hideous combination of guilt and flu and feeling as helpless as a newborn kitten. At the moment, she wanted little more to drift off to sleep and pray that she'd feel slightly better when she awoke. However, just as it had been when she first woke up, luck didn't appear to be on her side, for she was also feeling thirstier than someone who had just crawled through a barren desert for three days. She desperately wanted a drink of water, but Goo genuinely didn't want to trouble her mother and father any more than she already did. However, try as she might to be as little a bother as possible, her craving for a cool glass of water just wouldn't leave her be, and finally, as the last of her willpower sapped away,

"M-Mama?" She groaned. "Mama, c-could you get me s-some water?"

With that, she rolled over, tried to make herself a little more comfortable, and waited patiently…and waited…and waited…and waited…and waited…

It was a full five minutes before the feverish child glanced at the clock next to her bed and realized that her mother hadn't shown up, nor even her father. After a few moments to mull this puzzling development over, she quickly realized that she hadn't even heard anyone reply to her earlier request.

Confused, she struggled to sit up in bed, cleared her throat, and managed to call out hoarsely, "Mama? D-Daddy?"

Words failed completely to describe the initial panic that washed over her when she understood that not only was no one replying to her, but while she listened intently, she didn't hear so much as one sign that someone other than her was present in the house.

Before she was completely overwhelmed with horror, Goo quickly tried to get a hold of herself and automatically denied this nightmarishly unthinkable scenario. No, no that couldn't be right. Her parents _had_ to still be here, they simply had to be. Maybe they were just outside, or something. After all, who on earth would leave their only child all alone while she was terribly sick?

Maybe it was the just the fever, she suggested silently to herself, and immediately a weak grin took root on her features. Yes, maybe she was just a little delirious. Perhaps her mother and mother were still here, but because of the fever she couldn't hear or see them and-

_THUNK_!

The sudden clamor emanating from downstairs startled the child so terribly she almost leapt clean out of her skin. Okay, _that _she definitely heard.

Bewildered, Goo quietly listened as she hoped desperately it was a sign that her mother or father was still here. As soon as she heard an odd rattling racket, she quickly recognized it as the distinct commotion of someone battling with a doorknob downstairs.

"Huh?" she grunted, as she continued to be swamped by confusion. True, there was no denying that it sounded like someone was trying to get through the front door. But exactly who was that particular someone? If it were either of her parents, surely they would've been able to let themselves in with a house key of something of that sort, yes? Then who could possibly…

Almost immediately, her imagination became a runaway freight train, and it wasn't long at all until Goo found herself picturing some brutish thug in a ski mask standing right outside her house, struggling to get inside to rob her family of everything they had, or even worse.

"N-no, no _couldn't_ be…" the child started murmuring to herself as she clutched her bed sheets tightly in her little hands. "M-Mama…Mama just got locked outta the house, and…and she just-"

Her self-reassurances met a hasty demise when she suddenly heard a yell of frustration resound from outside, quickly followed by the din of someone, or _something_ pounding the door angrily.

_WHUMP_! _WHUMP_!

As her heart almost leapt into her throat, without even thinking, the feverish little girl crawled from her bed and stumbled out into the upstairs hallway to investigate the commotion. Stumbling about weakly, Goo struggled to remain as silent as possible as she peered downstairs and braced herself for the worse.

"Wha…?" To her surprise however, all of a sudden it was as if the entire ordeal had been nothing more than a mind trick. The pounding, the rattling, the yelling, all of it had appeared to come to a sudden halt, and again the house was awash in silence.

Sorely flabbergasted at this point, Goo couldn't help but let her curiosity get the best of her. Making sure to grip the stair railing tightly, she slowly descended downstairs to investigate the din she could've sworn she had heard. Once she had successfully made it to the first floor, she paused, started to reach for the doorknob…

"_YEEEK_!"

Immediately she elicited a strangled yelp and stumbled back a few paces once she realized that someone was indeed outside, and had simply switched to a new tactic; from the sounds of it, was now trying to actually pick the lock.

For a few moments, Goo was hopelessly frozen with terror the likes of which she had never felt before, as her heart rate quadrupled, her eyes almost bugged out of her skull, and her breathing became alarmingly shallow. It did no good to try and convince herself otherwise, there was no way in heaven or hell that it was anyone from her family trying to get back into the house. She had little choice but to accept this living nightmare she found herself trapped inside; she was all alone, and about to be at the total mercy of some crook.

As the tears of fright started welling up in her eyes, the sickly little girl's mind started racing. Maybe, if she was quick enough, she could grab a phone, hide someone safe, and call the police so that-

Too late. With a barely audible _click_, the lock was undone.

"_NO_!" Goo shrieked in horror as the door started to open. Without so much as a second thought, or even any thought at all for that matter, she stumbled over, drew and umbrella from the umbrella stand, then promptly lunged at the intruder with her weapon held high. There was no way she could escape to safety, the feverish child hastily concluded. There was only one option left, and that was to defend her home with everything she had.

"_GO AWAY_!" she howled as she started lashing out furiously at the first thing that walked into the first door. Almost immediately, the trespasser went down like a sack of cement under the hail of blows, and his startled cries echoed loudly throughout the house.

"_OW_! What the-_OW_! _OW_! _OW_! _OW_! Stop it! _OW_! _OW_! Cut it out! Cut it out-_OW_!" he instinctively burst out begging shamelessly for mercy. Nearly half-blind by the tears that gushed down her cheeks, Goo continued striking out viciously in her determination to make it out of this encounter alive.

"G-go away!" She cried, never once taking a moment to see that strangely enough, the intruder was actually shorter than she was. She just battled on fiercely, giving it everything she had as she continued to scream hoarsely, "Go away! L-leave m-m-me _alone_! Don't-"

"_AUGH_!" a horrified scream rang out above the din of the veritable massacre. "_WHAT ON EARTH_?"

Before Goo knew it, a pair of arms had wrapped themselves tightly around her waist and had swiftly hoisted her high into the air. As her improvised cudgel fell from her hands, the child let out an eardrum-rupturing shriek of terror before the intensity of her weeping doubled.

"No! Nooooo! No! _No_!" she sobbed as her limbs flailed. "Just l-leave me alone! L-l-leave me alone! P-please, d-d-don't-"

"Leave you alone like this? Not on your life, missy!" a familiar voice scolded as suddenly, Goo found herself staring straight into the vibrant emerald eyes of her captor. Once recognition came crashing down upon her like a ton of bricks, Goo immediately ceased her struggling, and went temporarily dumbstruck.

For a couple seconds, she could do little more than gasp for breath and gawk mutely before she managed to whine hoarsely, "F-F…F-F-F…F-Frankie?"

"No, it's the tooth fairy here to drop off a nickel!" the lanky redhead snapped back, though this flash of temper lasted for only a moment. Once she saw the terror in the shaken child's eyes, the woman shook her head, sighed heavily, and instinctively started cradling the little one gently in her arms.

"Goo, what were you _doing_?" Frances "Frankie" Foster demanded softly. Quivering like a leaf from the ordeal and unsure what to think at that point, the little girl started whimpering,

"I…I-I-I dunno…f-first, M-Mama and Daddy disappeared…a-a-and after th-they left me all a-alone, I-I thought th-that angry psycho b-b-burglars showed up…b-but you w-w-were the…th-the…b-but why are you s-sneaking into p-p-people's houses and st-stuff, when….I-I just don't get it, why…"

As the tears continued to trickle down the sides of the girl's face, Frankie gently dabbed at her eyes wit a sweater sleeve and groaned. "I _knew_ we were gonna pay for being late."

"Being…b-being late?" Goo repeated bewilderedly.

"What'd _you_ think? That your parents abandoned you?" the redhead inquired incredulously. "Your mom called this morning just to let us know how you weren't going to show up at the house today, and when I found out why and about the plans you guys had made, I…well, I kinda volunteered to look after you for the day."

"…Y-you're my _babysitter_?" the disbelieving child murmured.

"Well…" Frankie replied with a shrug. "Yeah, basically. I mean, the rabbit said I could, and it beats a day of chores anytime. So your mom and dad got to leave, but we were supposed to show up before they left. I guess they just forgot to leave any of the doors open, but luckily I had a hairpin with me so we could-"

"Hold on! Hold on!" Goo whined as she was still stricken with puzzlement. "Who's _we_?"

"Ugh…" a piteous moan from down below quickly answered that question. Goo took one glance, and as soon as she laid eyes upon the little boy lying in a heap, she went noticeably pallid with dismay.

"Uh-oh…" she whimpered, as Frankie quickly realized she had forgot all about the other child in the midst of the chaos. Hastily, the redhead dropped to her knees, managed to transfer Goo to one arm, and delicately scoop up the little boy.

"Mac?" she yelped. "Oh jeez, oh you all right? Pal, are you hurt at all?"

Badly dazed from his pummeling, Mac hung as limp as a sack of potatoes in her grasp as he murmured, "Just…just my pride…and m-my body…"

* * *

"…I'm sorry, Mac…I-I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" The ailing little girl found herself whimpering yet again as she lay safely curled up under a blanket and securely perched upon Frankie's lap while the little group watched TV. Mac repositioned the ice pack on his head and tried to flash her a reassuring smile.

"I told you already that it's okay." He replied gently. "You didn't know, and-"

"I-I know, but…I'm really, really, really sorry," the sickly little one just started murmuring guiltily again. "I'm sorry Mac, I didn't mean to beat you up, I just…"

"Oh, will you give it a rest?" Frankie couldn't help but chuckle as she gave Goo a delicate pat on the head. "Don't worry, he gets worse when we're roughhousing back at home. He'll be fine."

"I…I know, but-" she attempted to apologize before her friend smiled at her again.

"Just remind me not to get you ticked off during a rainstorm." Mac teased in an attempt to lighten her spirits. The remark worked like a charm, and before Goo knew it, she was quaking softly with mirth.

"I wasn't that bad…" she snorted. "Was I?"

"All I'm saying is that I never knew you were so skilled in the deadly arts of the umbrella." The boy continued to joke.

As the two children shared in on some laughter, Frankie continued to stroke the little girl's head and teased, "Don't worry. As long as we're here, I think it's quite safe to say that no one else is going to get bonked on the-"

"Hey, what's that?" Mac suddenly piped up as his ears picked up an odd clamor. Instantly, Frankie hit the mute button on the TV remote, and all three fell silent as they listened intently.

"That's…that's the back door, near the kitchen…" Goo finally spoke up softly before her expression contorted with confusion. "But…but who would wanna enter through the-_mmph_!"

Working quickly, the caretaker slapped a palm over the child's mouth and motioned for silence as she instinctively went on the alert. With her maternal instincts telling her that the children were possibly in danger, she hastily swung into protective action. After wordlessly gesturing that the two were to remain still, she deposited Goo aside, and bolted for the kitchen with all the silent agility of a panther on the hunt.

Both a little frightened by the prospect of a real intruder actually breaking in, the little ones went as rigid and quiet as statues, save their hands which unconsciously wandered and grasped one another tightly. After only a few moments though, which seemed to last for an eternity, they heard something wrestle a door open, followed by a whiny demand, "Hey, what the heck is wrong with the front door-"

_CLANGGGGG_!

_WHUMP_!

As soon as a young woman's panicked cry followed the metallic ring, the children instinctively rushed from the living room. An instant later, they arrived to find a most peculiar sight; possibly the most blob-like trespasser they had ever seen, lying face-first upon the linoleum and totally out cold. Meanwhile, Frankie's pallor was as white as fresh snow as she gawked in horror at what she had done, while still wielding the frying pan in her hands.

For nearly half a minute, the kitchen was dead silent save their own breathing. Finally though, Mac glanced up at his guardian, took a hard swallow, and whispered, "I…I guess he changed his mind about wanting to come with us."

Frankie, still looking unspeakably mortified at what she had done, just nodded wordlessly as she shakily put her weapon down, and carefully gathered up the unconscious imaginary friend into her arms. As she watched, Goo, unsure whether she shouldn't feel so bad about her earlier mistake anymore, tried to break the next wave of deafening silence with a light-hearted comment.

"I…I guess I really should be feeling a lot safer now, huh?" she tried to joke with a wan smile. Still cradling Bloo in her arms, Frankie sighed heavily, gazed heavenwards as if silently imploring 'why', then strolled towards the freezer to grab another ice pack.

"Let's just get our story straight…when he comes to, we tell him that he 'tripped' on the way in…"

**The End **


	17. It's a Trap!

"…No, no, no! Just give them a drink, don't drown the poor things! My word, child, _what_ do you think you're doing?"

As the appalled imaginary rabbit went on as if he were witnessing the atrocity of the century, the lanky redhead shot him a nasty glare. If looks could kill, no doubt he would've expired in the blink of an eye. Alas, such simply wasn't the case, and Mr. Herriman continued to heap on the criticism.

"Didn't you come out here just to get the mail?" Frances "Frankie" Foster grumbled as she watered the flowers by the front porch of the large Victorian mansion looming over the rest of the neighborhood.

"I _was_, until I had the misfortune of seeing the sloppy job you were doing here." He shot back with a huff. "Honestly, Miss Frances, try and have at least a _little_ pride in your work-"

"I'm pouring water from a plastic can!" she snapped. "What am I supposed to do, dish it out one drop at a time?"

"At least try not to drench them!" he implored. "Please, _all_ I'm asking is that you try…not to…"

Mr. Herriman trailed off as an odd clamor grabbed his attention, Curious, the aging figment craned his neck and glanced behind him to find, much to his puzzlement, a little pigtiailed girl lugging what appeared to be a small cage across the front lawn.

"Mr. Herriman?" Frankie asked, confused as to why the berating had suddenly ceased. "Mr. Herriman, what are you…wait, what the…"

It wasn't long until the young woman spotted the bizarre spectacle, and for a few seconds the dumbfounded pair just observed as the child continued pulling along what they swiftly recognized to be one of the old gopher traps from the tool shed out back.

"Good gracious, _what_ on earth is she up to?" Mr. Herriman murmured confusedly. After Frankie replied with merely a wordless shrug, the imaginary friend tucked his hands behind his back and promptly hopped off to investigate, while the girl meanwhile started setting up the trap.

"Er…Miss Goo?" he inquired as he drew near. Unaware that she wasn't alone in the front yard, she immediately leapt to her feet with a shrill squeak of surprise.

"Uh…...um…" the plainly apprehensive child started stammering the second she gazed into his eyes. Thus, it swiftly became clear something was afoot seeing as how she had yet to talk his ear off. "Uh, I…I….uh….h-hi?"

As she tried to plant on a disarming smile, Mr. Herriman shot her a bemused glance as he peered at the trap. "Miss Goo…_what_ in the world do you think you're doing?"

"Just…just playin' around?" she suggested, to which he sighed exasperatedly,

"I don't know, are you asking me, or am I asking you? Good heavens, what do you think you're doing pulling around a-"

"Because…because…because….uh…er….Madame Foster asked me to…" she blatantly lied.

"Oh, really?" he replied suspiciously. "So what is it specifically that the Madame gave _you_ permission to hunt for?"

Usually the chatterbox, the child currently appeared to be at a total loss of words as she just gazed back blankly while her mind raced furiously for a somewhat believable answer.

"….Rabbits?" Goo finally whimpered, unable to think of anything else. Before Mr. Herriman could respond, the front doors open and two small figures dashed out of the house and onto the lawn.

"We got it! We got it!" Bloo squealed jubilantly as he waved something clasped tightly in his blobby stubs high in the air. "We got the bait!"

"Did you set up everything yet for….the…" Mac abruptly trailed off the instant he saw the familiar furry authoritarian looming over their guilty-looking friend. When it quickly became obvious that the jig was up, the little boy ground to a halt a few feet away, as his imaginary friend did likewise.

"Uh….just…goofing around?" Bloo immediately tossed out a hasty excuse, while the carton of chocolate milk in his hands said otherwise.

Mr. Herriman was no idiot; as soon as he put all the clues together, at first he found himself unable to do little more than bury his face in his gloved paws with an incredulous groan. "Oh, good heavens…"

"What?" Frankie demanded as she sauntered over. "What is it? What are they doing?"

"Nothing!" Bloo immediately answered.

"If by 'nothing' you mean 'no-good', then you would be correct." Mr. Herriman countered as he shot them all a fierce glare. "Egad, children, don't tell me you were _actually_ attempting to-"

"Attempting to do _what_?" the resident caretaker, just as befuddled as ever, inquired. "What? _What_ were they doing?"

"Miss Frances, are you _really_ so blind?" he snapped. "Just _look_ at what they're baiting this trap with! Who only would be so inclined towards chocolate-flavored dairy beverages?"

"Um…" Before the redhead even had a chance to answer, Mr. Herriman faced his attention back to the trio of miscreants and began bombarding them in a hail of rebuke.

"Have any of you no sense of morality?" he scolded, causing them all to flinch involuntarily. "Do you mean to tell me that every single on of you had the intent of imprisoning a poor, dull-witted imaginary friend and actually-"

"I…I don't think we have any idea of what you're talking about-" Bloo tried to wheedle them out before Mr. Herriman stomped his foot and bellowed,

"The only way any of you is going to capture Master Cheese is over my cold, dead body! Do you hear me?"

"_What_?" Frankie yelped, unable to believe her ears. "Wait, wait! You mean they were _actually_ going to…"

After gawking blankly at her infuriated boss for a moments, she stared incredulously at the children and the blobbish accomplice and murmured disbelievingly, "You were seriously trying to-"

Seeing as the cat was out of the bag, Goo gazed imploringly into the redhead's eyes and squealed dolefully, "We can't help it! He's just…he…well he's just sooooooo _annoying_!"

"Miss Goo, I thought Master Cheese's antics amused you-" Mr. Herriman tried to argue.

"Yeah, for like, fifteen seconds and a half!" she whined as she tugged at her pigtails. "Then it gets so super very ultra annoying, you wanna just yank out all your hair, grind your teeth to nubs, and bang your head into the wall until you knock yourself out and you don't halfta deal with him anymore! Seriously, how can anyone stand him just shooting off his fat pie hole like that twenty-four-seven, just babbling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, just talking and talking and talking and talking and never shutting up for so much as one teensy tiny little second? I mean, just gabbing on and on and on, it just gets so super irritating that…"

As she passionately ranted on, Bloo added, "C'mon, it's not like we were gotta shove him off a bridge or anything after we caught him! We were just…well, y'know, keep him in there until like…when he wanted to go home, see? We just wanted to keep him from bugging everyone-"

"By imprisoning him like some wild beast?" Mr. Herriman growled. "And _you_ were a part of this inhumane conspiracy too, Master Mac?"

As he fidgeted nervously under the rabbit's harsh glare, the boy tried to explain, "Well…Bloo already told you we weren't going to do anything to him-"

"Except locking him up like some common criminal!" Mr. Herriman snapped. "I mean really-"

"But-" Mac attempted to butt in before he was cut off.

"Not another word, you ruffians!" the rabbit warned. "Do you understand? I don't care how incredibly bothersome Master Cheese is; I absolutely forbid you to carry out this unthinkably ludicrous scheme of yours!"

"But we only-" Goo whined softly.

"Am I talking to a brick wall?" Mr. Herriman grumbled exasperatedly. "That's it, I'm _through_ playing games here! You're all due for the scolding of a lifetime, you hear me?"

Rather than launch straight into a stern lecture however, the authoritarian went silent for a few moments. While the guilty trio silently waited for their just desserts in resigned silence, a slightly puzzled redhead had yet to realize Mr. Herriman was staring expectantly at her until he barked impatiently, "_Well_?"

"Huh?" Frankie grunted bewilderedly. "Well, what?"

"What do you mean, 'what'? Didn't you just hear what I told these rapscallions?"

The young woman just gawked blankly at him for several instants until finally comprehension dawned upon her.

"Wait…" she murmured as her jade eyes widened in disbelief. "Hold on…are you saying that _I'm_ the one who has to-"

"Both Master Mac and Master Booragard _are_ your official responsibility." Mr. Herriman reminded flatly. "It only seems fitting that _you_ reprimand them and Miss Goo for being so callous as to actually attempt to-"

"But what can't _you_-" Frankie tried to argue to absolutely no avail whatsoever as he threatened her.

"Miss Frances, either you make it plain to them how at Foster's one should be appalled at the mere thought of capturing an innocent, slow-witted imaginary friend, or _we'll_ have a private discussion later on about how-"

"Okay, okay, okay! Just cool it, will ya?" she begrudgingly conceded and rolled her eyes. "Sheesh!"

With a reluctant sigh, the redhead begrudgingly got down upon her knees and motioned for the three malefactors to come close.

"Okay guys, we _really_ need to talk…" she began, trying to sound stern as she launched into a lecture. Firmly convinced everything was under control, Mr. Herriman nodded wordlessly in satisfaction and promptly hopped off, leaving the young woman to justly deal out punishment. As far as he was concerned, a potentially ludicrous crisis had been successfully avoided, and everything was as it should be.

* * *

"Thirty-five bottles of cat on the wall, thirty-five bottles of cat…"

Someone belted off happily from what sounded like down in the basement, much to the immense confusion of the imaginary rabbit crossing the foyer on his way towards his private office. Befuddled by the peculiar tune, Mr. Herriman wasted not a moment as he investigated the matter.

"Hmmm? What in the world…" he murmured curiously as the horrifically off-key singing went on.

"…Take it back, smack on the tack…"

The imaginary rabbit opened the door and peered down to find quite the bizarre scene. There, placed down at the very bottom of the cellar stairs, an extraordinarily familiar little figure sat inside a tiny cage. As appalling as the spectacle was, the captive in all actuality looked none the worse for his imprisonment as he grinned foolishly and continued on as cheerily as could be, "…Thirty five bottles of cat on the wall! Thirty five bottles of cat on the wall, thirty-five bottles of cat…"

With a mortified gasp, Mr. Herriman promptly dashed down the stairs, only to reappear in the foyer just moments later, lugging the cage in tow.

"Of all the terrible, awful, shameful acts…" he muttered furiously under his breath as he freed Cheese. Still as idiotically happy as an imaginary friend could be, he immediately wandered off aimlessly down the nearest hall, with his caterwauling resounding out loud and clear for all unfortunate residents to enjoy.

No sooner had he liberated the dim-witted creature, the indescribably infuriated rabbit stormed off, arriving in the entrance of the TV room in record time with an outraged roar.

"_WHO DO YOU SCOUNDRELS THINK YOU ARE_?" he bellowed, abruptly interrupted a certain trio's video gaming as he soundly spooked all three of them near out of their skin.

"_Hey_!" Bloo yelped as the two children sitting on either side of him nearly jumped three feet in the air. "What the heck is your problem-"

"Get up! Up! Up!" Mr. Herriman aggressively demanded them to clamber to their feet. As soon as they did as bid, he quickly herded them all out into the foyer to the scene of their crime.

"What is the meaning of this?" he barked as he jabbed a finger at the now-empty trap. Before any of the guilty party could emit even a peep, he waved his arms and hurriedly motioned for silence.

"No, you know what? I don't even want to hear any of your excuses! It won't do you an ounce of good, _I_ see what happened _here_!"

"But we only-" Goo squeaked before Mr. Herriman interrupted sternly,

"You only intentionally disobeyed your elders, _that's_ what you did! Why, never in all my years-"

"Please, don't-" Mac tried to beg.

"Oh, _I'm_ not going to do anything." The enraged figment replied with a harsh glower. "However, I can only shudder to try and imagine what Miss Frances will say as soon she sees what you've done, even though she should've made it perfectly clear to you earlier you were not to-"

"_Hey_!" a dismayed yelped suddenly resounded throughout the foyer. "Okay, _who_ let Cheese out? I thought we agreed to-"

Frankie stopped dead in mid-sentence the instant she realized a certain imaginary rabbit was in fact right there in the foyer. Instantly, the startled young woman froze for a moment as Mr. Herriman whirled about and demanded incredulously, "Excuse me?"

"Uh….uh….I….um….I-I…." Frankie stammered uncontrollably until she finally gather enough wits around her to answer, "I….I said…I, er….said…who left the cheese in the…kraut….y'know, saurkraut…someone….um….someone left a whole block of cheddar inside a bowl of saurkraut that we had in the fridge, and…and…"

"Oh….I see…well, as sorry as I am to hear that, unfortunately now is _not_ the time to seek out whoever violated the house rules on refrigerator cleanliness and organization!" Mr. Herriman barked after buying into her slapdash excuse, possibly only due to a pure miracle, if anything. "I regret to say that I have a matter here that requires your utmost attention immediately! Do you recall the hooliganism that we witnessed earlier this afternoon?"

"Oh….oh, no!" Frankie clapped her hands to her cheeks as she attempted to act shocked. "Don't tell me that-"

"That's right!" the enraged figment affirmed as he bought into her act. "These hoodlums deliberately obeyed us, despite the good, long lecture that you gave them. Miss Frances, I take it you know what to do from here?"

"Oh, of course!" Frankie answered with a furious nod as she jogged over to the little ones and promptly began wagging her finger as she started 'scolding' them. "Just what do you guys think you're doing? I'm very disappointed in all of you! Do you understand? I am very, very, very, very…."

Yet again convinced that all was being properly tended to, Mr. Herriman made his exit, thus leaving Foster's resident caretaker alone with the children to dole out punishment. As he vacated the room, Frankie's stern rebuking rang like music in the authoritarian imaginary friend's ears.

"…Very, _very_ disappointed! Got it? I thought I told you, you're not to…" As soon as her boss hopped out of earshot, Frankie promptly got down upon one knee and lowered her voice to a secretive whisper. "Okay…_my_ bad, so the basement wasn't such a great idea. I think _next_ time, we should…"

**The End **


	18. Strolling is Only for the Daytime

"…Thanks for the ride home, Kath! G'night!" Frances "Frankie" Foster bade a cheerful farewell to her companion before she entered the expansive Victorian mansion.

Strolling across the foyer in a beeline towards the staircase, the caretaker couldn't help but add a little exuberant skip to her gait and giggled like a schoolgirl. There was probably nothing else in the world like a night out with a few close friends that could put her in such high spirits. Indeed, she couldn't think of any equivalent to the extraordinary revitalization it gave her; even returning home after midnight, she almost felt as if she could take on the world-

An odd racket suddenly interrupted her thoughts, revealing that she was not the only one -awake at such an hour. Pausing at the foot of the staircase, Frankie waited in dead silence for a few moments until she quickly heard peculiar clatter, which she easily recognized as the sounds of someone fetching themselves a midnight snack.

Knowing that it was hardly anything to fuss about, nevertheless her curiosity was aroused as she silently contemplated who had the need for a quick meal at so late an hour. Moving like a red-haired shadow, Frankie quietly snuck her way into the kitchen, and much to her extreme amusement, instantly recognized the familiar mop of chestnut brown poking out from behind the open fridge door.

Grinning fiendishly to herself, Frankie playfully darted forward and peeked over the refrigerator door with a cry of, "_BOO_!"

However, within an instant her jubilant smirk was wiped clean off her face as she was quickly beset by confusion. She could've sworn her cry had been loud enough to wake up half the household, and thus should've at least startled the child at _least_ a little.

Nevertheless, Mac hadn't emitted so much as a squeak of surprise. Much to Frankie's dumb shock, all he did was continue to stand motionlessly in front of the fully stocked refrigerator while carrying an oddly vacant gaze as he quietly clutched his "midnight snack", which to her bafflement, consisted of a half-empty jar of relish, an old leftover pork chop, and some cauliflower.

"…….Mac?" Frankie asked as she uneasily eyed the oddly behaving little one.

"…Huh?" the child just grunted softly, unblinkingly staring dead ahead into the depths of the refrigerator. For a few seconds, Frankie just gnawed on her lip worriedly as she wracked her brain to try and figure exactly what devilry was this, but as soon as she noticed the peculiar glazed look in his eye-shut eyes, common sense nearly shrieked the obvious to her.

"…_Sleepwalking_." She murmured in astonishment, and hastily scooted to the child's side.

"C'mon pal, you really don't wanna eat any of _this_, do you?" she cooed, taking the utmost care not to wake him from his stupor, for as far as she knew, few things were worse than waking a sleepwalker.

"…Huh?" Mac just murmured drowsily, swaying back and forth a little and clearly not in a right state of mind while she quickly plucked the various items from his limp grip and deposited them back into the fridge.

"Yeah, that stuff's pretty yucky, isn't it?" she continued as she placed the relish back into the refrigerator. "That would make a pretty gross midnight snack, wouldn't it-"

The words died upon her lips the second she peered back behind her. To her utter amazement, the eight-year-old had vanished clean from sight, as if he been nothing more than a mind trick. Utterly flummoxed beyond description, at first she could do nothing but stare blankly at where the child was just moments before.

"….Mac?" Frankie whispered nervously as she began to glance about. "Mac? Where are y- _MAC_!"

She couldn't quite explain _how_ the eight-year-old sleepwalker had managed to clamber to the top of the cabinet so quickly, but that didn't nearly scare her halfway to death as much as the fact that the boy was striking a pose that was unnervingly reminiscent of an Olympic diver.

"_Whoa_! What do you think you're – _AUGH_!"

Without even thinking, Frankie hurled herself halfway across the kitchen and just barely managed to catch the swan-diving child in mid-air before he crashed face first upon the linoleum.

_THUD_!

"_OOF_!" Frankie grunted as she flopped rather ungracefully unto the floor and skidded a few feet before slamming to a painful halt against the counter.

"_OW_!" she yelped, as she instantly went flush with frustration. "Mac Foster, _what_ do you think you're-"

For the second time in less than two minutes, the redhead found herself completely dumbstruck with surprise. In just the second or so she had him safely back in her arms, Mac had abruptly drifted off back into a deep sleep, and was now no more dangerous than a slumbering infant.

For a moment or so, Frankie just gawked stupidly, torn whether between letting it all go as a peculiar mishap and putting him to bed or actually waking him up just to scold him for a dangerous stunt he didn't intentionally mean to perform. Fortunately, as soon as the dozing eight-year-old tried to snuggle into the crook of her neck, the caretaker's maternal instinct quickly overwhelmed any irrational urge to reprimand, and she finally relented with a weak smile.

"No fair…" she laughed softly, cradling the slumbering lump of a little boy while she clambered to her feet and made a beeline for the staircase.

* * *

"…Mac?" The nightgown-garbed young woman inquired gently. She knew perfectly well of course that he had long been dead asleep when she had deposited him safely back in his own bed, but now that she herself was prepared for a good night's rest, she decided that it couldn't hurt to make sure he was all right. After all, she had never known him to exhibit such strange nocturnal behaviors before; the little earlier episode was definitely a first, and she figured she'd better be safe than sorry.

Tapping softly on the door, she called out his name once more as she took a quick peek into the room.

"Pal?" she whispered before tiptoeing over to the bed. "Mac? Are you…"

As soon as started feeling around, only to find nothing but pillows and sheets, for a few moments she just stood there, frozen as a statue as the unthinkably horrific realization slowly sank in. "Oh…_no_…"

As her heart rate instantly tripled, she immediately began searching around frantically.

"Mac? Mac? Here, pal! Here!" she yelped, actually whistling sharply a few times as if searching for a lost puppy. Unfortunately, much to her skyrocketing dread, it soon became plain that she was most definitely short her charge.

Despite this, the tremendously frantic young woman wasn't quite ready yet to face her worst fears. In the next few minutes that followed, Frankie practically turned the child's bedroom upside down in her desperate search, nearly tearing it apart to shreds in the midst of the gut-wrenching panic that possessed her. The very moment her horrific suspicions were confirmed that a mere child was possibly wandering aimlessly about the house without so much as a vague clue of what he was doing, Frankie shot out of the room like a lanky redheaded rocket.

To say that she was worried out of her wits and frightened half to death would unfortunately have been the understatement of the decade. As panic overwhelmed her, a heap of ugly possible scenarios began to enter her mind at an alarming rate, ranging from the child in question tumbling head over heels down the staircase to Mac blindly wandering outside to the extreme-o-saur cages and...

A violent shudder wracked her body as she hastily blocked out the outrageous image. With any luck, he was just wandering about downstairs, but in a house as colossal and bizarrely unique as Foster's, the risk of him blindly stumbling into some sort of danger was still chillingly high.

"Mac? Mac? Mac! Maaa-aaaac!" she yelled hoarsely as she scampered about at a pace that would've left an Olympic sprinter gasping for breath and begging for a quick rest. As she dashed down the hallway like a chicken with its head cut off, Frankie's head never seemed to be still for a second from where it rested atop her neck, nearly transforming into a veritable scarlet blur as she glanced about everywhere conceivable.

"Mac? Pal? Mac, are you – _MAC_!"

Just as she felt like she was on the threshold of a heart attack, she spotted a little silhouette emerge from a nearby bathroom. As a massive sense of utter relief began to surge unabated through every ounce of her being, Frankie couldn't help but let loose with a squeal of glee as she instinctively darted forward and scooped up the little figure into her arms.

"Pal!" she laughed, coddling her catch close in a tenaciously loving hold. "_There_ you are! I was so worried about you!" she trilled in her unfathomable joy, tittering uncontrollably in her intense jubilation. "You have _no_ idea what you just put me through, kiddo! I actually thought that you had-"

"Um…sorry?" the clearly bemused lump in her arms muttered, sounding sorely bewildered by the outrageously tender manner he was suddenly being handled. Nearly on the verge of tears in her colossal elation, Frankie only elicited another carefree giggle as she planted a quick, affectionate kiss upon his forehead.

"Don't be, pal, don't be." She chuckled weakly. "Haha! Just tell me why you had to go to the bathroom all the way over here when there's one right….right near….our….bedrooms and…a-and…"

So helplessly caught up in her triumph, it unfortunately took her no less than a full ten seconds to comprehend the blaring fact that something was terribly amiss; namely the fact that not only had "Mac" seemed to had suddenly gone totally bald since she had last laid eyes upon him, but his skin now possessed a texture akin to a scoop of gelatin. As she began to feel a sense of utmost dread welling up deep within her, Frankie hurriedly held out her catch in the moonlight of a nearby window and almost immediately her jaw nearly hit the floor.

Despite her rather unsound state of mind at the moment, she could at least deduce one undeniable truth; a terribly confused blob that had been accidentally nabbed in her hysterical panic and her missing sleepwalker were _far_ from the same person.

"_Ewwww_…" Bloo whined, grimacing in complete disgust as he frantically wiped at the blotch of the redhead's slobber now adorning the top of his head. "Oh, _gross_, Frankie…seriously, that's _not_ cool..."

"Son of a b-" The caretaker immediately began to curse in gut-reaction, although she hastily bit her lip just in time to avoid cursing a blue streak right in front of the baffled little imaginary friend in her grasp.

"Frankie….do you _always_ kiss anyone you can find at one in the morning?" The perplexed figment muttered incredulously to the frazzled young woman. However, his display of tremendous mystification lasted for but a moment before Frankie abruptly loosened her hold and sprinted back off down the hallway before the startled little imaginary friend could hit the floor with a wretched yelp of surprise.

"Why _me_?" she bewailed as she began her wild search anew. However, Bloo's acute sense of curiosity was already roused by her inexplicable behavior, and once he hoisted himself out of his sprawl he immediately took off after her, shooting off questions as fast as he could conjure them up.

"Frankie? Wait, Frankie, what's wrong?" he shouted as he scuttled along hot on the frantic woman's heels.

"Now not, not now, not now, I swear to God, _not now_!" she snarled while racing down the main staircase.

"Wait, Frankie, hold on! I don't get it! What's with all the midnight smooching? I mean, seriously, that's pretty weird-"

"I didn't _mean_ to kiss-" she protested distractedly.

"Wait, so _who_ were you trying to give a big sloppy peck at-"

"Shut up! Now is _not_ the time to-"

"It's okay, I mean, I'm not gonna judge you if-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, _SHUT UP_!" she involuntarily screamed. "For the last time, I didn't _mean_ to!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down! You don't need to get huffy with _me_, Miss Smoocherella!" he snapped. Once she reluctantly accepted he wasn't clamping up anytime soon, the exasperated young woman hastily attempted to try and turn this new annoyance into her advantage.

"Bloo, has he _ever_ had any problems with sleepwalking before?" she suddenly demanded while pausing to take a quick precautionary scan of the foyer.

"Huh?" Bloo mumbled perplexedly. "Wait, has _who_ ever had-"

"_Mac_! Has Mac ever had any problems with sleepwalking before-"

"Wait, wait, wait, _sleepwalking_?" he answered skeptically, crushing her hopes. "Wait, why are you wandering about asking _me_ about…aw c'mon, how should _I_ know? I-"

"_You're_ _his_ _imaginary friend_!" she snapped while checking underneath a nearby sofa. "He _created_ you!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I stick around him twenty-four hours a day! I mean, really! And just _why_ do you wanna know that at one in the morning? It's not like it's _your_ business, is it? Who put _you_ in charge of Mac and told him that you had to look after him like a-"

The words died upon his lips as soon as she whirled about bearing an expression that seemed to say that she was only five seconds away from throttling him. Quickly, Bloo remembered the obvious answer to his foolish inquiry.

"Oh, _riiiight_….the adoption thingy...n-never mind…" he murmured, flashing a weak apologetic grin and a woefully forced chuckle in an attempt to calm the aggravated caretaker.

"I swear, Bloo, I will-"

Before she could issue any threats, she paused, and took a long deep breath as she strove to calm down. No, now was _not_ the time to lose control.

"What did you guys do after I left this evening?" she demanded, hoping she could have some clue as to what started this whole nightmare.

The little blob just stared back blankly before grunting, "Huh?"

"_What'd_ you do? _What'd_ you do?" she snapped and gestured impatiently. "Watch a movie? Play in the arcade? _What_?"

"Oh! Well…we watched TV, and…then watched some more TV, I guess…" the little blob answered as he thought hard. "Oooh! Then we watched a movie! A made-for-TV movie, see, and…"

As he prattled on, being absolutely no help whatsoever, Frankie rubbed her temples and started shaking her head wildly.

"No, no, no, no!" she moaned to herself in despair. "Why! Why him? Why _now_? Mac's never, ever-"

"…And then we had some of those brownies you made this afternoon…tasted pretty good, but they were _kinda_ weird, to be honest…" Bloo prattled on.

"Yeah, yeah." She muttered distractedly as she wracked her mind. "Well you _know_ Mac can't have sugar, so I had to…use…the…"

The young woman trailed off as the terrible realization slowly dawned upon her, or at least she thought so. No, it couldn't be…

She couldn't deny it though, she had never used _that_ particular brand of artificial sweetener she had put in the brownies before. Plus, it didn't seem that far-fetched, for after all, when it came to sugar, Mac tended to react a bit…'differently 'from others, to say the very least. Well, if that was the case, then why wasn't it possible for him to have an adverse reaction to…

"No…no…._no_!" she started murmuring frantically to herself, unwilling to believe she was the cause of this mess. "No, I…maybe it's just a…just…well, maybe, he doesn't really…but…"

"Uh…." Bloo just grunted as he shot her a wary glance. "You okay?"

"I didn't _mean_ to!" she bemoaned. "It was on sale, _that's_ why I bought it! How was I supposed to know that-"

Before the mortified young woman could rant on, shrill ring suddenly reverberated loudly throughout the foyer. Although Bloo leaped a little with a squeal of surprise, Frankie didn't even bat as eyelid as she elicited a venomous hiss while she just instinctively reached over and answered the nearby phone.

"_What_?" she snapped condition to put up with a prank call or wrong number. "I don't care who this is, now is _not_ the time to-"

"Frankie?" a familiar high-pitched squeak inquired gently over the receiver, baffling Frankie to no end upon instant recognition.

"…G-Goo?" the young woman just asked dumbly, her previous fury instantly draining away to be replaced by a degree of perplexity she had never endured before in her entire life. "Goo, _what_ are you doing calling here at-"

"Frankie, make him go _home_!" the impatient squeal suddenly rang out, forcing the redhead to nearly drop the phone in her shock.

"…_What_?" she whispered hoarsely.

"What, am I speaking Norwegian here? Tell _Mac_ to go _home_!" The obviously cranky little girl reiterated fiercely. "I keep telling him over an' over an' over an' over an' over an' over that I can't play right now, I gotta sleep, but he _still_ won't go! It's nothing but 'Mac, go home! Mac, go home! Mac, Mac I'm tired! Why won't you….' and he _still_ won't go! Frankie, please, I just wanna go back to bed! _Why_ won't he-"

"_MAC'S AT YOUR HOUSE_?" Frankie suddenly nearly shrieked, losing all semblance of control over her vocal cords in colossal shock.

"_Yes_!" Goo immediately replied, sounding just as puzzled over the manner. "And I don't know what's wrong with him, he's just not getting' that it's waaaaay too late to play or anything, and…well, I think that's what he wants to do right now, I dunno! He's kinda just standin' there on my front lawn, I saw him when I went to get a drink of water and…hold on, lemme see if…yeah, he's still there, and I really really _really_ think that he shouldn't be out there and…and…wait, lemme check…yup, still out there, like a zombie or something…but I don't wanna play 'Zombie'! I just wanna sleep! I keep on yelling and yelling at him, but he just…hold on, I'm gonna try and yell at him again for a few more minutes, 'kay? If that doesn't work, I'll call you back quick as I can, all right?"

"But-"

And just like that, Frankie was left listening dumbly to the dial tone. For what felt like the longest time, she just stood there in the middle of the foyer, absolutely slack-jawed as she struggled to comprehend whether this was all reality or not. Finally, moving ever so gently, she calmly hung up the phone-

"_OUCH_!"

…And promptly pinched her arm so fiercely she nearly drew blood, all the while praying desperately that she'd wake herself up and end this living nightmare. Alas, when all was said and done, she was still right where she started, accompanied by one _very_ confused little blob.

"Um…what was-" Bloo tried to inquire bemusedly. No sooner had he begun to speak however, without a word of warning Frankie quietly made a hasty beeline towards the front door, scooping up the atrociously bemused imaginary friend and simultaneously grabbing the bus keys in one deft movement.

"Hey! Hey wait! Frankie, _what's_ _going on_?" he whimpered, baffled out of his mind by everything he had witnessed for the last few minutes.

The irked redhead groaned exasperatedly as she wearily plodded outside onto the front walk. "I don't know why, but for some reason, I think I'm getting punished for bargain hunting…"

* * *

"…Frankie?"

"Hmmm?"

"I-I was just thinking... could you just let me-"

"You know the answer; _no_."

"But I-"

"Nuh-uh."

"C'mon, I don't think I-"

"Try again, pal."

"But it probably won't even ever happen again! It's been a full day, it _has_ to be out of my system by now-"

"Nice try…_no_ way."

"But I-"

"Nope."

"I just-"

"_No_."

Having been denied yet again, the dumbfounded child crossed his arms and sighed heavily, making absolutely no secret of his intense displeasure.

"Where did you even _find_ this?" Mac demanded incredulously glared daggers at his unresponsive guardian. Despite his blatant display of discontentment, however, Frankie didn't even pass him a momentary glance as she lay propped up against her pillows, immersed in a book.

"A store downtown." She answered calmly, never peeling her eyes away from her novel for a second. Mac countered with an audible growl, but even then Frankie found absolutely no need to fret. After all, at least tonight she'd now exactly where he'd be the entire time; safely inside an extra, extra large infant sling strapped across her front. Even though Frankie seemed to resemble a redheaded mother kangaroo with the ludicrous maternal attire she wore, as long as she was assured he wouldn't wind up a few miles away from home, she was honestly quite content.

She casually continued on with her reading, blatantly ignoring her squirmy charge and the myriad of irked grunts and squeaks he emitted as he struggled to liberate himself from the humiliating contraption.

"Hey, calm down, kiddo." she murmured, tousling his hair absentmindedly. "It's well past ten o'clock, shouldn't _you_ be asleep by now?"

"Well, shouldn't _you_ just let me sleep in my _own_ bed?" Mac countered fiercely, shooting the unresponsive young woman another harsh glare. "Just _look_ at us-"

"Remind me again, _where_ was it that I had to go pick you up at two AM last night? Hmm? Could you tell me _that_, pal?" she mused sarcastically, to which the indignant little boy sighed wearily.

"Seriously, Frankie!" he protested. "You're totally going overboard here with-"

"Oh, so I should just forget about the whole 'sleepwalking a _full_ _mile_ in the middle of the night to your little friend's house,' thing? Hmm?" Frankie shot back. "I'm not taking _any_ chances."

With that, she immediately went silent once again, solidifying her firm stance upon their predicament as a long, awkward silence descended upon the incredibly ridiculous-looking pair.

"…How long exactly are we gonna have to do this?" he finally relented with a whimper.

"Let's wait until tomorrow…if you don't wake me up while trying to do another late-night trek, _then_ we'll see." His guardian explained with a heavy yawn. With this steadfast declaration, silence yet again fell upon the room, and for a few minutes all that could be heard was the rustle of a flipped page now and then.

"You better not snore." Mac finally grumbled softly as he shut his eyes tightly, hoping for the sweet embrace of slumber to temporarily free him of this embarrassing predicament.

The redhead merely commented dryly. "If you're just gonna keep up with _that_ attitude all night, then frankly I hope I sound like a foghorn…"

**The End**


	19. A Night Out

"…I gotta get home…I-I need get home!" the young woman sputtered yet again in alarm. As she checked the clock on the restaurant wall to confirm just how late it was, the lanky redhead let loose with a hoarse yelp of dismay as she became further consumed by the wave of utter panic that was now threatening to overtake her completely. As she rapidly became even more of a frantic wreck, her heart began pounding so hard in her chest it soon felt it was only a moment away from bursting out of her chest while she appeared to be on the verge of hyperventilating.

However, despite her wretched in condition, in all honest truth of the matter, there probably was absolutely no need whatsoever for Frances "Frankie" Foster to be even just a tad at unease at all. Alas….the poor thing had just one drink too many to be able to realize this, to be putting it lightly.

Needless to say, her date was feeling a bit too flustered for his liking as he struggled to calm her down.

"Frankie, _please_, " the hazelnut-haired young man pleaded for the umpteenth time as he held her by the wrist and patted her shoulder comfortingly with his free hand. "Just calm down, it's gonna be just fine. Honest, everything's going to be okay-_whoa_!"

With a jangle of hoop bracelets and matching earrings, Frankie abruptly attempted to get up out of her seat and stagger off towards the exit of the small restaurant. After nearly being dragged along with her, with a burst of effort, her boyfriend managed to seat her back down, to her obvious displeasure.

"Rudy, _no_!" Frankie yelped miserably. "Y-you don't understand! I gotta get home! I gotta…"

As the inebriated young woman babbled on, Rudy struggled to keep her in place as he turned to a plainly upset waitress.

"I _thought_ that you told us that there was no alcohol in the peach daiquiris!" he reminded her unhappily.

Meanwhile, looking so distraught that she seemed to be ready to explode into tears, the girl who obviously was quite new to the job hugged a menu and whimpered, "I-I thought so too! I-I swear! I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to! I-I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! It's just…I-I only started here a few days okay, and….and I…I'm not familiar with the d-drink menu yet, and…I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I…"

As she bombarded him with a hail of apologies, the young man banged his head against the table with a groan. He indeed had quite the ugly little mess on his hands, which was no doubt being compounded by the hefty dosage of guilt he was being forced to deal with at the same time. True, it was easy enough to pass all the blame to the waitress. However, he probably should've been the one to notice that something was amiss when Frankie gradually got chattier and livelier as their dinner progressed as she ordered more of the fateful drink…or that she continued to blather on about everything and nothing even long after dessert….or, at the _very_ least, when she started to slur her words a little.

Rudy sighed as he raised his head and laid eyes upon the several empty glasses assembled before his intoxicated girlfriend, then promptly started hitting his forehead repeatedly on the table surface as he muttered to himself, "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…."

"…Sir, please!" the waitress begged shamelessly. "Honest, if only I knew that I was actually s-serving…look, look, how about I make all your drinks on th-the house? H-how about that? Please, m-my manager can't know that I-"

"Rudy, we gotta _go_!" Frankie implored as she stumbled from her seat and attempted to make another run for it. "I-I gotta get home…I gotta-"

"_Hey_!" the poor fellow yelped as she staggered to her feet and tried to yank him along with her. Clumsily, Rudy barely managed to link arms with her to hold her in place temporarily; despite her lanky appearance, the slim redhead was a lot stronger than most people gave her credit for.

"Frankie, please! Just….just wait a second, okay? Just _wait_!" he pleaded desperately as he dug out his wallet and began rooting through it frantically.

"Here!" the incredibly flustered young man quickly shoved a handful of bills into the waitresses' hands. "You said the drinks we free, right? Then…um…I think that should cover everything-"

"Y-you mean it?" the girl murmured incredulously as she wiped her teary eyes. "So …you're _not_ going to tell the manager how-"

"Look, just take the money, and we'll call it ev-_WAUGH_!" he cried out in surprise as Frankie abruptly shot off towards the exit, dragging him along behind her.

"C'mon! C'mon!" the young woman implored as she rushed along at a drunken trot. "Rudy we gotta go!"

"_Ow_!" Rudy yelped in pain as she accidentally led them bumbling directly into a table, forcing her boyfriend to badly bang his leg which in turn sent several assorted drinks spilling while sorely startling several restaurant patrons.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! She's…she's just not herself right now!" he barely managed to apologize before Frankie forced him outside and into the parking lot.

"I gotta get back home!" Frankie just repeated over and over like a six-foot-tall parrot. "I need to get back to Foster's! I have to-_AUGH_!"

With a cry of alarm the tipsy redhead suddenly tripped over her own two feet. Fortunately, before she could do a face plant against the pavement, Rudy grabbed her just in the nick of time.

"_Hold on a sec_!" he involuntarily shouted in his skyrocketing frustration as he righted her back onto her feet. "Look, before anything else, can you _please_ just tell me why you're so bent on getting back home-_FRANKIE_!"

Moving faster than the eye could follow, Frankie hastily shot off like a bullet the second she was on firm footing, bemoaning all the while, "I just gotta get back home! Where's the car? Rudy, where'd you park? Where? I gotta get-"

"I-I know! I _know_!" the flustered fellow cried out as he limped along in pursuit of his frantic girlfriend. "Frankie, I told you, just hold on a moment! Just calm down! There's no need to freak out, you just-"

"_Where's_ the car?" she whined as she looked about wildly. "Where'd we park? Where-"

"Hold on!" he groaned as he closed in on her. "Just hold on-"

"Rudy, I can't find the car! Where is it?" Frankie lamented as she slowed her pace. "I…I can't find it! Where'd it go? Where's the-"

"Will you _just_ relax?" Rudy snapped in aggravation as he finally caught up. "Seriously! Either you stop for just five seconds, or I swear I'll-"

"_I GOTTA GET BACK HOME_!" the young woman whirled about, grabbed him by the shirt collar and yelped so loud the heavens probably heard her.

As her chest heaved up and down while she gasped for breath, meanwhile he withered instantly like a delicate flower inside a tanning booth as he simply hoarsely, "….O-okay."

In a flash, Frankie released her hold and staggered off again, with her boyfriend now trailing much more cautiously behind her. He knew fully well that while very caring and extremely kind-hearted, the redhead was also more than perfectly capable of making herself a threat to be reckoned with when she wanted to.

And when she couldn't exactly control herself, such as now? Well…it was probably best if he didn't try and find that out the hard way, the shaken fellow figured as he called out meekly to her. "Frankie? Frankie c'mon, you…y-you gotta calm down-_FRANKIE, WAIT_!"

"We gotta get going." The young woman whimpered as she began clambering into a convertible whose careless owner had let the top down. "We gotta get back ho-"

"Frankie, no! _No_!" her hapless boyfriend shouted as he raced over to her. "Stop it! Frankie, no! That's not my car! That's _not_ my car! Nuh-uh! Frankie, get out before-"

After she was forcibly yanked away, Frankie craned her neck around and actually bared her teeth in a fierce snarl, which of course startled Rudy soundly.

"_Augh_!" he wailed as he instinctively backed off a few paces. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's just…Frankie, that's _not_ my car. _My_ car is over by the-_HEY_! Oh, c'mon! Are you _serious_?"

Again, she had raced off, and started stumbling wildly about the parking lot and pulling upon the door handles of random vehicles as she bemoaned, "I can't find it! Rudy, where's the car? I can't find it! How can we get back when-"

"We won't be able to get anywhere if you don't listen to me!" Rudy moaned as he took off in pursuit. "Frankie, come back here! Frankie! Frankie! Frankie, please! _Frankieeeeeeeee_!"

How in the world she had managed to dash around the parking lot for so long while both intoxicated _and_ wearing high heels without tripping again, the young man seriously hadn't a single clue. What he _did_ know though is that it really would've been quite the help if Frankie had not been able to keep her balance so well; it would've been ever so much easier to just pick her off the ground rather than chase he as he had been forced to for Lord only knew how long.

"_There_!" Rudy gasped as he finally settled her into the passenger's seat of his sedan. "Finally, now let's-"

"It's so late." Frankie whined piteously as he buckled her in securely. We gotta get back to-"

"It's okay! It's okay!" he tried to plant on a weak smile and reassure her, as if he were dealing with a fussy toddler. "Don't worry, it'll be okay! See? We made it to the car, so we'll be on the road in no time at all, okay?"

Alas, his attempts to put the poor drunken redhead at ease were all for naught, for the single he shut her door, Frankie spiraled into a minor panic. "_AUGH_! Rudy, where are you going? Come back! Come back? W-who's gonna drive? Come back! Come-"

"_Ackpth_! It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!" he babbled breathlessly after dashing around to the other side of the car and clumsily throwing himself into the driver's seat. "See? See? I'm still here, it's okay! It's ok-_OW_! Frankie what're you-_ow_! _Ow_! _Ow_!"

After angrily swatting him several times on the shoulder, Frankie glared daggers as she snarled warningly, "Don't _do_ that!"

"Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" he preferred to simply admit wrongdoing, rather that attempt to explain that he had to leave her side momentarily so that he could get into the car. After nervously fumbling with his car keys for a few seconds, he finally started up the ignition, and a minute later they were on the road.

As Frankie wrung her hands, squirmed uncontrollably in her seat and murmured anxiously to herself, Rudy groaned in despair. There was no other real way to plainly put how things were other than by saying that simply, this was bad, _very_ bad indeed. He didn't think he had ever seen Frankie this drunk before ever since…wait, no, scratch that. he had _never_ seen Frankie drunk until now, period. Well, at least finally he knew why she never really drank at all to begin with, or at least one of the reasons. The Frankie whom he knew would probably be absolutely appalled if she ever came face-to-face with the inexplicably frantic, whiny mess that was sitting beside him in the car right now.

"Can't you go any faster?" Frankie suddenly demanded impatiently with a noticeable slur as she toyed with one of her bracelets.

"Can…can you please just tell me why you're in such a rush to-" he attempted to inquire meekly when she blurted out,

"I gotta get home, Rudy! I gotta get back to Foster's! I gotta…I gotta check up on Mac, and-"

"_That's_ why you're so upset?" Rudy replied incredulously. Of course he knew fully well that she deeply cared for her charge…but still, the answer nevertheless took him off guard. "Wait…wait, hold on, Frankie…_why_? I don't…I mean, he was just fine I picked you up, why wouldn't he-"

"Rudy I _need_ to get back home!" Frankie just stomped her foot and yelled urgently. "_Now_!"

"All right! All right!" he yelped as he dropped the subject. "Just…just try and calm down a little, okay? Look, how about…uh…how about some music?" he suggested as he tried to force on another weak excuse for a smile. "Huh? How about that? Would some music help you relax? Please?"

Frankie just grunted something incomprehensible as she stared remorsefully out the window. Taking that as a yes, he turned on the radio and began flipping through the stations.

"Let's see…how about…no, no that…hold on…" he murmured with a slight quaver as he searched for something suitable. "How about…there we go! How about this? Huh? Nice and soothing, right? Ri-"

"We interrupt this broadcast for a public service announcement." A stern voice suddenly interrupted the music. "It is now 10:30 PM. Do you know where your children are?"

Instantly Rudy froze in horror. After mentally cursing his unbelievably foul luck, for a few seconds the mortified young man kept his eyes locked straight on the road, for he feared what he would see if he looked back to Frankie. Finally, after gathering up the courage, he turned his head and said softly, "F-Frankie? Frankie are you-"

Immediately he winced; wait awaited his gaze was not a pretty sight. As the tears started to trickle down her cheeks, the young woman looked like she was ready to burst out sobbing as she started whining hoarsely, "No…no…no, I…I-I _don't_ know where he his right now…I-"

"Frankie…it's all right…" he began patting her shoulder. "Mac's right at home where you left him…h-he said goodbye to you before you left, remember? He's still at-"

"But I don't know that for sure!" Frankie wailed miserably. "I don't really know! W-we've been gone for…f-for hours, and…"

Absolutely wracked by guilt, she hit her head against the car window and bemoaned, "I'm _such_ a bad parent!"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Rudy babbled as he struggled hard to calm her lest she burst into full-fledged sobs. "No, no! That's not true, Frankie. It's not true! You're-"

"If it's not true…" she whimpered despondently, "Th-then why aren't I h-home yet? Why am I still out when I-I-I should be-"

"No, it's okay! Look! Look! Frankie look!" her boyfriend cried out in relief as a familiar towering Victorian mansion loomed into view. "See? Look, we're almost there! See? Foster's is just up ahead! See it? See?"

Unfortunately, Frankie was already long gone as she whined dejectedly, "Oh, what does it even matter now? I've already been out too late…I-I'm telling you, I'm the…the worst-"

"No, no you're not!" Rudy groaned as he pulled into the driveway of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. "I mean…look, we didn't mean to stay out this long, okay? So you had a little bit too much to drink, and you're just a little tipsy right now, but that doesn't mean that-"

"I'm…I'm…I-I'm _drunk_?" she gasped as her emerald eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets in her genuine shock. Ironically, she had been so intoxicated, the fact of the matter hadn't become clear to her until now.

"Oh..._no_…" he whined in dismay once it became apparent that he had just unwittingly made the situation just a little bit worse. "Frankie-"

"You mean I-I'm not just getting back home late…I'm getting home…drunk?" she whimpered heartbrokenly.

"I-I…well, it's just…" Rudy struggled to find the right thing to say to try and prevent the oncoming sob-fest, but to no avail at all.

"Holy jeez! What is _wrong_ with me?" Frankie moaned as the hot tears started to really streak down her cheeks in twin rivulets. "Why am I such a…a…oh, God!"

As she broke down completely, her boyfriend hastily put the car in park, ripped the keys out of the ignition then clumsily embraced her in a comforting hug.

"It's okay! It's okay! Frankie, it's all right!" he showered her with the same reassurances he had been using all night, still with no success to speak of. "It's-"

For a few seconds, the absolutely miserable young woman allowed him to hold her. That is, until she realized something, or at least thought that she did.

"_You_!" she sputtered accusingly as she broke away from the embrace, to his dumb surprise.

"What? _Me_?" he answered stupidly.

"Yes, _you_!" she snarled as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. "How could you?"

"Huh? Wait, how could I _what_?" he implored as his head spun in absolute befuddlement. "Frankie, what're you _talking_ about?"

"Don't play dumb with me!" she snapped. "You're a social worker!"

"Um…well, yeah…" he whimpered. "Frankie, what does-"

"You can't fool me!" Now…now you're gonna go _report_ on me, and…and now you're…you're gonna tell everyone about what I did, and…and then after you tell them, they're gonna come and take away-"

"_WHAT_?" her flabbergasted boyfriend yelled. "What makes you think I'd actually-"

"How _could_ you?" she wailed. "How could you even do that to me? How?"

With a stifled sob, she put her badly impaired motor skills to work and start clumsily struggling to try and undo her seat belt, while Rudy tried to explain to her, "Okay, c'mon! Look, you seriously have no idea what you're talking about anymore!"

"Yes, I do!" she hissed. "How could you just go and tear my family apart like that?"

"Look, just calm down, and let's just try and-_NOT AGAIN_!"

With surprising sped and agility for one so inebriated, Frankie opened the car door and bolted out into the front yard.

"Oh, gimme a break!" he whined as he stumbled out and took off after her. "Frankie! Frankie, get back here! _Where_ are you even going?"

"How could you?" Frankie just demanded yet again, despite the fact that her foes were completely unfounded. "Rudy, how?"

"I never even said I was going to do that! I never said that I was going to do _anything_!" he gasped as he trailed behind her.

"I hate you!" she just snarled. "I hate you! I hate you so much….if you invited me to the movies, I…I-I probably wouldn't even go with you!"

"_What_ does that even _mean_?" Rudy implored in despair. "Seriously, just calm down! You're….you're not yourself right now, okay? Now please, just-_OW_!"

Without a word of warning, the young woman managed to take off one of her high heels and quickly sent it flying his way, scoring a hit to his gut.

"Come _on_!" Rudy begged shamelessly. "Frankie, I swear, I'm _not_ going to get social services involved! You're freaking out for no reason-"

"Yeah, that's what you _want_ me to think!" she shot back with a scowl as she struggled to get her remaining shoe off. "You can't fool _me_! You work for them, I _know_ you do!"

"I know that! But that doesn't-_whoa_!" With a hasty dodge, he just barely managed to evade the next incoming missile. Once Frankie was out of ammo, he quickly seized his prime opportunity and poured all his energy into a speedy dash. Luckily for him, Frankie had already forgotten that she had thrown both shoes, not just one, and thus was taken completely off guard as she just stood in the middle of the front yard, staring dumbly at her bare feet.

"_Gotcha_!" Rudy proclaimed triumphantly as he nabbed hold of her. Before the startled redhead could react, with a burst of effort he hefted her over his should and resolutely marched off towards the front doors of the mansion.

"Put me down! Put me down!" Frankie hissed as she started wriggling about like mad. "Put me _down_! It's bad enough you're gonna try and-"

"For the last time; you're just making _all_ of that up." he implored as he hefted her over to the front porch, where he was forced to awkwardly keep a hold on Frankie while searching through her purse for her set of house keys.

Meanwhile, Frankie forgot while she was trying to free herself in the first place, which actually wasn't all that great, seeing as how she only started whining again. "Oh God, what time is it? The lights aren't even on in the house…everyone's probably gone to bed already, and I'm _just_ getting home…I _am_ the lousiest guardian ever, I really am…"

"Shhh!" her near exhausted boyfriend wearily shushed her as he finally unlocked the front doors and entered the moonlit foyer. "You want to wake everyone up? Now c'mon let's just get you to bed, all right? Everything's gonna be okay, you just need to keep quiet while I take you to…uh…"

It was just about then that he realized that in all the time he had been dating Frankie, he had never been up to her room for any reason. In other words, he hadn't a single clue where he was supposed to drop her off in the expansive, cavernous mansion that she called home.

"Uh…Frankie?" He meekly asked, while praying fervently that her memory wasn't badly affected by all the alcohol she had inadvertently consumed earlier that evening. "Where _is_ your room?"

"Huh? My room?" she murmured. "It's…uh…it's…just a few floors up…I think…"

"But which floor?" he demanded a little impatiently.

"The…um….the same floor as…uh…well, my room's by the…" she stammered as she struggled hard to sort through the foggy mess her mind was at the moment. "Wait…by the…right near…"

Suddenly, her eyes bugged wide open once she realized, "Right by…right across the hallway from Mac's room! _Mac_! Oh God, I almost forgot!"

In a flash, keeping a grip on her became as easy as trying to grab onto water. Before Rudy knew it, she had slipped free and was staggering up the stairs as quickly as she could go with her poorly functioning motor skills. Before he could shout out her name and yell at her to stop, the young man quickly realized that by doing so, he'd possibly wake half the house. Thus, he could do little more than clamp his mouth tightly shut, emit a muffled moan of despair, then take off after her for what he hoped would be the last time that night.

"Frankie!" he whispered frantically. "Wait! _Wait_!"

Unfortunately, and also somewhat embarrassingly for him, it didn't take long for her to actually somehow stumble out of sight. Thus, Rudy was force to make due with relying on following the direction of the racket she made in her drunken haste. After scaling one or two flights, he managed to track the frantic redhead down a darkened hallway.

"Frankie?" the young man gasped for breath as he wearily jogged in the direction of what sounded a lot like someone accidentally bumping into a wall. After bumbling about, her turned a corner just in time to spot something not too far down the hall slip into a room. Despite the fact that his legs now ached uncontrollably from all the running he had unwillingly done that night, he put on one last burst of speed to catch up one final time.

"_Frankie_!" he wheezed as he stumbled into the bedroom doorway. "What are you-"

"Shhhhh!" Frankie whirled about and hushed him into silence. As he obediently went quiet, she turned back around and carefully attempted to tiptoe over to the sole bed in the room, in which lay a slumbering little boy. After quietly though not at all gracefully making it to the bedside, moving with the most delicacy that she could manage in her state, the redhead gently shook the child as she whispered ever so softly, "Pal?"

A moment later, Mac's eyelids fluttered open halfway, and with a groan the semi-conscious child rolled over so that he could look up at her, face-to-face. "Hmm?"

The second their gazes met, Frankie leaned in close, ruffled his hair, and then announced bluntly, "I'm home, Mac….I'm home."

"Oh…" the drowsy child murmured with a sleepy grin. "Okay, Frankie."

Once this simple exchange was over, Frankie sighed heavily in relief, then suddenly lit up the room with a toothy smile that stretch across her face from ear to ear, as Mac simply yawned, rolled over, and shut his eyes tightly once more. Meanwhile, to Rudy's indescribable surprise, the boy's redheaded guardian seemed to have gone through quite the remarkable transformation. Just like that, the frantic, badly stressed redhead of just a few minutes earlier had vanished without a trace. True, Frankie was still very much a little too drunk, but at least she was looking much more at ease now, and even quite content as she started stroking the little one's head as she hummed a gentle tune. In a matter of a minute, Mac was in a deep sleep once more, though that didn't do much to prevent her from sticking around for a few minutes longer.

Finally, Frankie tucked the child in, planted a light kiss on his forehead, then began to slowly make her way out of the room just as silently as she had entered.

"Frankie?" Rudy just whispered as he gawked bewilderedly at her. "What the…what was-"

Frankie held up her fingers to hush him yet again. After she clumsily reached around to shut the door behind her, she took a deep breath, placed a hand upon the closest wall to steady herself, and then starting murmuring, "You see, Mac…well, he's a….he's a good kid, but it's just-"

"Yeah, but-"

"No, see…ever since his mom…uh….y'know…basically, whenever I stay out longer than I tell him I will, he…Mac tries not to, really, but…well, he can't help but get a little nervous…especially if I forget to call, or anything like that, so…so I…I like to try and make sure I get home when I tell him I'll be back so….so he doesn't start to freak out at all and think that anything…y'know…bad happens to me….see?"

That young woman had made their night out quite the trying ordeal in almost every way imaginable. Rudy had chased her several times, accidentally provoked the inebriated young woman into physically attacking him at least twice, and had spent half the time trying to unsuccessfully calm his frantic girlfriend down in ways that were oddly reminiscent of all the times he had baby-sat his five-year-old niece…amongst other things. At the very least, he should've been exasperated with Frankie at this point, if not flat-out aggravated.

Yet…try as he might, the young man found that now, after it all, he could do little more than smile weakly at the shamelessly devoted redhead who still managed to put her family above all else, even if she didn't exactly have much of a clue what else was going on.

"C'mon…" he whispered as he grabbed her by the hand. "Let's get you to bed, okay?"

" 'Kay." Frankie grunted as she let him guide her across the hall and into her bedroom, where after drawing deep from depleted energy reserves, he managed to heft her onto her bed with one inelegant movement.

"_There_ we go." He gasped as he tried to draw up the covers for her. "Back home, and nice and safe, okay? Now let's just-"

"Rudy?" the lanky redhead whispered as she sat up a little.

"Hmm?" he yawned.

Despite the fact that she looked ready to pass out into a deep sleep then and there, Frankie still managed to sit up in bed a little and murmured gratefully, "Th-th…thanks for getting me back home…"

As she wrapped her arms around him in a clumsy hug, he lit up the room with a blazing blush. "It…it was nothing really…no problem Fra-_WAUGH_!"

Without warning, Frankie lifted the unsuspecting young man off his bed and onto the bed with her, where she promptly tightened her thankful squeeze.

"_Ackpth_!" he gasped under the force of the ridiculous strong grasp; skinny as Frankie was, she had the grip of a black bear. "Frankie…that's…that's enough….c'mon, you can let go now….Frankie? Frankie!"

Despite his begging, the redhead just shut her eyes, giggled lightly, and snuggled up tight as if he were only a giant stuffed animal, to his growing alarm.

"Please! Frankie, please! Let go! Let go!" he whispered urgently. "C'mon, I-I really need to get home! That's enough! Frankie, that's enou-"

The second the lights were flipped on, it immediately became quite clear that his begging had been too little, too late.

"Miss Frances?" a nightshirt and matching nightcap-clad rabbit inquired as he hopped into the room. "Miss Frances, would you assist me please? I was awoken by this awful clamor not five minutes ago, and have so far been unsuccessful in finding the source of…"

Mr. Herriman stopped dead in mid-sentence as soon as he laid eyes on the spectacle before him. With a surprisingly shrill yelp, the resident caretaker's boyfriend wrenched himself free in his panic, only to tumble off the bed and onto the floor in a heap.

"Miss…M-Miss Frances? Master Rudy?" the imaginary rabbit gasped in appall. "Good gracious, in the name of all that is decent, _WHAT_ on earth where you doing? I…I-I…wait, did you two just get here? I _thought_ you would return no later than-"

"N-nothing was going on! Nothing!" Rudy blabbered as he shakily climbed to his feet. "We were just…uh….j-just…okay, so we got b-b-back a l-little later than expected, but…b-but I can explain, just-"

"Hiya, Mr. H." Frankie sat up to wave at her startled boss with a whimsy giggle and a stupid smile. The instant he saw the glazed look in her eyes and her overall unusually foolish demeanor, Mr. Herriman's jaw nearly hit the floor in his incredible shock.

"Good heavens, Miss Frances!" he exclaimed. "Are you…are you _intoxicated_, young lady?"

Instead of even attempting a reply, Frankie just shrugged and started tittering goofily, thus confirming the blatantly obvious.

"She didn't mean to!" Rudy babbled in her defense as he broke out into a nervous sweat. "It…it was an accident…it's not like we went out to a bar or anything, she's the only one who drank tonight…a-and…no, n-no! No! Wait, d-don't think that I meant to get her liquored up or anything, h-honest! It just….see, w-when I saw that sh-she was drunk, I immediately tried to g-get her back home and into bed-"

"_Excuse_ me?" Mr. Herriman involuntarily shouted in disbelief.

"Not like that! Not like that!" the young man cried as he shook his head furiously. "I mean get her to bed so she could sleep it off, and…and so…but then…then I was in the bed with her when…I mean, after I got her home…b-but…but only because she was the one…who….a-and I….I just…and the….th-the….h-h-had to get her home, s-so we…uh…"

At this point, the poor fellow was quaking uncontrollably from head to toe, while his heart was going a mile a minute. While Mr. Herriman nearly skewered him on the spot with his piercing, outraged glare, the young man backed against the wall, took a deep breath, than begged meekly in his despair, "If…i-if you don't mind, s-s-sir….I k-kinda would l-like to throw m-m-myself out the window n-now…"

* * *

Considering the vicious tongue-lashing he had received the night before, and one that had lasted for nearly an hour at that, it probably would've been wise to assume that the poor young man wouldn't want to step within an inch of Foster's for at least a week. Mr. Herriman's lecture had been so particularly ferocious, many a brave fellow would've understandably been frightened away for good, much less Rudy, who wasn't exactly the courageous type, to say the least.

Nevertheless, in probable defiance of all logic and common sense, early the afternoon the very next morning, there he found himself warily entering the front gates of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. As his stomach nervously bunched itself up into knots, Rudy struggled to try and keep a hold of his nerves as he cautiously began to make his way up the front walk.

Barely had he sauntered ten feet when all of sudden, three veritable blurs rocketed by in speedy succession. Since he had been too preoccupied going over what he'd say to a certain authoritarian rabbit when the unpleasant encounter inevitably came, the young man was quite startled, and with a yelp his entire body jerked in surprise.

Promptly one of the blurs came to a quick stop, revealing itself to be a pigtailed little girl who instantly burst out chattering excitedly once she recognized the familiar face.

"Oh, hiya Rudy! Hi!" Goo bubbled, as meanwhile her friends, a little boy her age and an azure blob continued to race here and there around the yard. "How are you? Good? Bad? So-so? Hmm? So whatcha doin'? Huh? What're you up to right now? Anything? Something exciting? Something not so exciting? Boring, same ol' same ol' stuff? Hmm?"

On and on she babbled like so, while the young man just waited patiently until she paused to take a breath, finally giving him the chance to get a word in.

"Well, this may come as a surprise,' he joked with a weak chuckle, "But I'm here looking for Frankie, and-"

"Really?" Goo interrupted. "Well that makes four of us now!"

"…Wait, huh?" he gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean-"

"_Found you_!" Mac's triumphant cry rang out from clear across the lawn. As Goo instinctively shot off with a wild whoop, Rudy glanced up just in time to watch a familiar redhead dart out from behind a clump of shrubs with a squeal of laughter.

"Ha! Game's not over yet, guys!" Frankie giggled as she bolted from her hiding place and dashed off towards the towering willow tree standing in the middle of the yard.

While Mac just happily took off in pursuit, Bloo began waving his stubby arms wildly as he whined, "No fair, no fair, no fair! You have those tall skinny legs, no fair! Quick, quick! Before she touches base! Get her!"

"Heehee!" the caretaker, looking and acting very much like herself to her boyfriend's relief as he watched, chortled merrily as she paused her race to safety and began racing around her chasers in a few circles. "Well, how about _this_? Huh? Think you can catch me now? I'd try and make it easier for you guys, but then I'd probably have to talk my legs off for that! Ha!"

"Don't be so sure!" Mac laughed as he made an unsuccessful grab, which his guardian dodged with ease.

"What's the matter, slowpoke? Is that the best you can do-_OOF_!" Without a burst of effort, Mac made a terrific lunge for her, nabbing the young woman tightly by the waist and thus finally making the tag. For a moment Frankie stumbled about clumsily, desperately trying to regain her balance until Goo finally arrived on the scene and likewise latched on with a victorious squeak.

"Heeheehee! _Now_ we gotcha!" the little girl yelled as Bloo finally caught up and latched onto one of her arms. In an instant, Frankie ungracefully tumbled flat upon her back. As the little ones exploded into a chorus of triumphant laughter, they all unceremoniously consolidated their victory with an impromptus dogpile.

"Who's the slowpoke now, huh?" Mac chortled impudently as Frankie began wrestling them off, starting with her own charge whose belly she began tickling furiously.

"Oh, that's it! Now you're all asking for it!" Frankie giggled. "Watch out, now you're _really_ asking for-"

The instant she spotted the young man standing not ten feet away, the redhead went silent with surprise as he she finally noticed him for the first time since he had arrived.

"…Rudy?" Frankie murmured curiously.

"Yeah-huh!" Goo affirmed happily. "Yup, he just got here, like, right before you were all 'Oh, no way you're gonna get me,' when really you were a big Miss Easy-to-catch, 'cuz-"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Bloo suddenly piped up excitedly as he received an epiphany. "Wait, wait! Oooh, perfect! Two-on-three soccer! Remember, last weekend? Mac, Goo and me, us versus the old folks? Remember? Hey, can we do _that_ again?"

"Yeah! Hey, yeah! Yeah!" Goo bubbled happily.

"Could we, Frankie? Mac actually took the time to ask politely.

"Well…you, I guess we-" no sooner had his guardian answered when the trio all clambered off of her and shot off towards the garage to fetch a soccer ball.

In an instant, the redhead was left all alone with the young man, who shuffled anxiously from foot to foot for a moment or so before trying to sport a wan smile raising his hand and waved weakly with a nervous murmur, "H-hey Frankie-"

He had barely finished saying her name when the redhead in subject climbed to her feet, bounded over, threw her arms open wide and ensnared him in a warm hug. Taken aback, for a moment he froze in shock, thus leaving him perfectly exposed for a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Whoa, whoa!" he yelped as Frankie released him with an amused chuckle. "What…what was _that_ all about?"

Grinning from ear to ear, she replied calmly, "Well, what else? For getting me back home last night, of course."

To say that he was absolutely flabbergasted would've been one of the understatements of the century. "I…but…but I…I-I….wait, _really_?" Rudy sputtered incredulously.

Frankie sighed and rolled her eyes before responding sarcastically, "Just kidding, I'm actually going to scream my head off at you now because you had nerve to get me to Foster's as fast as you could, safe and sound. Yes, of course! What, do you expect me to do?"

"Well….it's just that…I mean, you got a little…uh…tipsy on my watch, and-"

Frankie blushed a little in embarrassment. "Hey…_you_ weren't the one actually chugging down the peach daiquiris; if anything, it was my fault too....you think I would've figured out that I was tossing back-"

"Yeah, but…well, anyway, I thought that…I just thought…" he stammered uncontrollably. "I mean…Mr. Herriman probably…y'know, told you all about how…uh…how he woke up and found….uh….told you about what he saw last night and I thought that…maybe you'd think that…uh…"

"That I actually believed everything that the rabbit told me and now seriously think _you_ of all people were up to no good last night?" Frankie interrupted and put it all rather bluntly.

"Uh….y-yeah…" he murmured as the redhead just broke out into a smirk.

"Hey, give me a little bit more credit here; I honestly like to think I know you better than _that_."

"So…so you believe me that I was only trying to get you home like you asked?" Rudy asked anxiously, unable to believe how simple this all was. Frankie chuckled as she ruffled his hair playfully.

"Well, if you really are just a sleazebag, then what in the world are you doing stopping by to check up on me?" she teased.

At this point, he blushed so brightly that in a flash he resembled a ripe tomato fresh for the picking. "I…I-I….just…well…"

As she leaned over to calm him down with another hug, her finally managed to saw with a weak grin, "Well…._someone's_ gotta look after you."

"Oh, _excuse_ me?" she shot back in a mock huff as she promptly undid her hold. "Hey, in case you've noticed by now, I'm not exactly the damsel in distress type. What about all the times _I've_ had to yank your butt out of the fire, mister?"

"Oh c'mon, I haven't needed you to stick up for me for any…." Rudy's first instinct of course was to try and defend himself, but once he gazed into her knowing stare, he hastily relented and admitted honestly, "Okay….okay, so you _were_ the one who stopped my ex-girlfriend from bothering me…but...but it's not like I need you for-"

"_MASTER RUDY_!" the stern cry rang out, reducing the young man to a cringing wreck in a matter of moments. While her boyfriend shuddered violently with a hoarse yelp of fright, Frankie whirled around and looked towards the house, where she spotted a familiar furry face poking his head out of his office window.

"My word, just _what_ on earth do you think you're doing here?" Mr. Herriman roared disapprovingly. "I thought I made it perfectly clear last night-"

As he remembered the lecture he had endured yesterday evening, Rudy winced as he tried speaking up in his own defense, "Yeah but…but I told you, I…I wasn't up trying to take advantage of anyone, I was only-"

"I'm now quite perfectly aware of that. However, that does _not_ change the fact that you allowed Foster's resident caretaker to drink herself to the point of complete and utter intoxication!" the imaginary rabbit yelled back. "Like I was saying, I thought that I made it quite clear yesterday night that you were _not_ allowed back here for no less than three days so that you could think about what you did, and thus understand what it means to have some sense of responsibility! It is your duty to look out for Miss Frances' well-being when she is with you, and you need-"

"Oh for crying out loud, Peter Cotton-Butt, give him a break!" Frankie interrupted with a growl. "It wasn't entirely his fault that I got drunk! I was the one who-"

"Miss Frances, please! Now is not the time for shenanigans!" Mr. Herriman scolded from afar. "I have to make Master Rudy perfectly aware that if he really thinks he can be such an utter rapscallion and let an evening out turn into a total and complete catastrophe, then he certainly has another thing coming! If he ever again is as callous as to-"

"_I SAID LAY OFF OF HIM_!" Frankie suddenly bared her teeth and let loose with a vicious, spine-chilling snarl. Just in case that didn't do the trick, she narrowed her emerald eyes and boldly gave the startled figment a fierce glare.

Maybe had her tone not been so frighteningly startling, Mr. Herriman would've quickly countered right back with a reprimand for taking back. Alas, such was not the case, and for a moment, the stunned imaginary friend just gawked in shock at the bristling redhead.

"Er….n-never mind, Miss Frances…" he murmured as he quickly shut the window and was gone from sight.

With a nod of satisfaction, Frankie promptly burst out smiling again as she turned back to Rudy and said calmly with a grin stretching from ear to ear, "Now then…you were saying?"

The young man stared blankly at her amazement and then finally just accepted it all with a weak laugh as she playfully tousled his hair again. Well…I gotta admit, at least it's nice to know it's hard for me to get picked on now…"

**The End **


	20. Life's a Real Beach Sometimes

"Fear my terrible wrath!"

The moment they heard the fierce cry, several small children abruptly ceased their carefree frolicking amongst the waves and turned their gaze towards whoever had just made the terrible threat.

Only a second later, one child revealed that he had located the mysterious speaker with a blood-chilling shriek of blind terror. As soon as the rest laid eyes upon the monstrosity lumbering through the shallow water near the beach shore, they all let loose with a chorus of frightened screams, and immediately turned tail and fled back to the safety of dry land.

As the badly spooked little ones scrambled away from what resembled a moving pile of seaweed, the "monster" continued to roar ferociously, "Beware, children! For it is I, the almighty Sea-Beast! Don't try and run, tasty morsels! For woe to those who believe they can flee from the Sea-Beast, ruler of the waves, lord of the ocean, king of – _HEY_!"

In the middle of his boasting, he had completely failed to notice the lanky redhead steadily making her way towards him until she had nabbed him by a kelp-draped stubby appendage. In one deft movement, the young woman easily lifted her catch up into the air and flipped him upside down, and immediately the seaweed disguise tumbled into the surf, exposing a certain miscreant blob.

"Awww, Frankie!" Bloo whined piteously as he dangled helplessly in his captor's grip. "You never let me have _any_ fun!"

His pleas however fell on deaf ears, as Frances "Frankie" Foster merely rolled her eyes before scolding, "See, _this_ is why we don't like letting you go on house beach trips! For crying out loud, Bloo, _how_ many times have I told you? No more Sea-Beast! You hear me? I'm sick of catching you lurking around covered in-"

"Oh c'mon, what's wrong with trying to-_WAUGH_!"

_SPLOOSH_!

The second the azure mischief-maker began arguing in his defense, Frankie promptly let go, unceremoniously allowing Bloo to plummet face-first into the water with a shrill squeal. By the time the indignant imaginary friend resurfaced, the smirking redhead had already raced off to happily rejoin the fierce splash-fight she had been participating in right before she had to put the "Sea-Beast" in his place.

"Look out, she's comin' back!" Goo squeaked playfully in mock fright as the caretaker charged.

"Oh no she's not!" Mac laughed as the two began to vigorously strike the water, forcing the giggly young woman to shield her face from the cold spray.

"Ha! Is that all you got?" Frankie scoffed as she returned fire. "Take that! And that! And th-_OW_!"

Once the well-aimed clump of wet sand struck her hard on the shoulder, Mac broke out chuckling triumphantly and taunted, "There's plenty more where that came from!"

Rather than sternly reprimand the child, the young woman just broke out into a wicked grin and whooped, "Ooooooh, you asked for it! _You_ know what happens to little boys at the beach who don't play by the rules!"

"_Ackpth_!" Mac sputtered in panic and immediately began to try and swim to safety, while Goo just treaded water and passed Frankie a puzzled glance.

"He does?" the little girl muttered bewilderedly.

"Yup!" the redhead laughed. "They get attacked by the great red shark! C'mere!"

"No! No, no, no!" Mac yelped as he paddled away furiously. "No great red shark! Frankie, no!"

With the water level only a little above her waist, Frankie playfully bared her teeth before taking off after her prey.

"Shark attack! Shark attack! Shark attack!" she gleefully chanted over and over, as the frantic child redoubled his efforts in desperation.

"Please, no! C'mon!" he shamelessly begged for mercy. Unfortunately, at that point Frankie couldn't hear a word from his mouth. Just moments before, with one graceful movement she had lunged under the water and was now swimming speedily towards the little boy, with only her ponytail sticking up out of the surf like a crimson dorsal fin.

"Frankie, no! No shark attack, anything but-_AAAA_!"

As soon as he felt her hands grab his ankles, Mac only had time for one pitiful cry before he was dragged under the water, and in an instant both huntress and hunted had vanished clean from sight. Seconds later though, the child managed to clumsily resurface, with the jubilant caretaker following a moment after.

"I hate shark attacks! I _hate_ them!" Mac yelled as he spat out mouthfuls of salty ocean water. Frankie snickered wickedly as she mused his soggy chestnut-brown locks.

"If you hate them so much, how come you let me do it all the time in the pool back home?" she giggled as he unsuccessfully tried to bat her hands away.

"I don't let you do it, I just can't stop you!" he reminded before pausing to spit out a stand of seaweed. "Oh, gross!"

"Hahahahahahaha!" Goo snorted with mirth from a few yards away. "I don't care what you say, she definitely showed you whose boss! Heehee!"

"Correction; I'm only halfway done here." Frankie laughed as she whirled about. The moment Goo spotted the playful sparkle in the redhead's emerald eyes, the little girl squealed and shot off like a pigtailed fish.

"_EEEEK_! No, no, no! I get it, I get it, I get it! You're the boss, Frankie, you're the boss!" Goo gasped between strokes as she made a beeline back to the beach, with the redhead close in tow.

"Shark attack! Shark attack!" Frankie whooped her battle-cry before taking a deep breath, diving under…

* * *

"_AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH_!"

Needless to say, the denizens of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends were quite spooked when their day trip was abruptly interrupted by a horrendous spine-chilling shriek. Actually, all but one, that is.

"Oh, goodness…what is it _now_?" Mr. Herriman grumbled as he clambered up off his towel into a sitting position, just in time to spot Foster's resident caretaker race out of the water, screaming like a banshee.

"Frankie!" Madame Foster yelped in horror and hopped from her folding chair. "Oh goodness dear, what happened?"

Frankie only continued to holler frantically as she started to race about in circles like a lunatic. "Get it out! Get it out! Get it _out_!"

"Get _what_ out?" Wilt cried as he raced to her aid, with several other imaginary friends followed not too far behind. "Frankie, what's wrong?"

"What happened?" Eduardo whimpered as he abruptly came to a halt a short distance away. "What's wrong with Senorita Frankie?"

"You wanna take a guess? Be our guests!" Goo gasped as she and Mac arrived on the scene.

"Miss Goo, now is not the time for sass!" Mr. Herriman scolded her soundly. "What happened to Miss-"

"We _don't_ know!" Mac confessed unhappily as he paused to catch his breath.

Bloo nodded his head furiously and added, "Yeah, I saw the whole thing! There she was, chasing Goo around, but as soon as she went underwater, it was like someone had stuck a bee in her bathing suit or something, and-"

"Oh dear God, it better not be a bee!" Frankie wailed as she came halted her circling, only to start clawing frantically at her turquoise one-piece suit. "Someone _please_! Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!"

"Oh, good gracious!" Madame Foster cried as her wrinkled expression contorted with dismay. "There's something _alive_ in your suit?"

"_AAAUUUGGH_! Are you people just gonna ask questions all day, or are any of you gonna shut your traps and _do_ something?" the young woman shrieked as she did a mad dance of impatience.

"Then stop jumping around like a fool and let us help you!" Mr. Herriman barked as he tried to take control of the situation. "Miss Frances, try and stand still! Miss Coco, try and reach in and nip out whatever it is that's-"

"Oh, not on your life!" Frankie roared defiantly and roughly pushed Coco away the second the imaginary friend tried to approach.

"Coco?" she chirped in befuddlement, while Mr. Herriman groaned in severe exasperation.

Miss Frances, what do you think you're doing? First you ask us to assist you, but now-"

"You think I'm going to let anyone just reach in under my _bathing suit_?" Frankie hissed incredulously as she writhed about in discomfort. "You've got to be joking!"

"But Miss Frances-"

"Nuh-uh!" she stubbornly refused. "If we're doin' this, it's gotta be someone I can trust! Got it?"

"So who, then?" Wilt cried. "Mac's arms are way too short to try and…uh…"

As soon as the towering scarlet imaginary friend realized that all eyes were fixed directly onto him, he abruptly trailed off as he slowly comprehend the terrible truth.

"Wait…I'm sorry, but you don't really think I'm gonna…wait, guys, but Mac's her -"

"And you're _my_ imaginary friend!" Frankie reminded him with a heartbreaking whine. "Wilt, _please_!"

"But…but I…I'm sorry Frankie, it's just that…" Wilt sputtered, obviously extremely reluctant about his mission.

"She has a point." Mr. Herriman stated. "Plus, you _are_ the most well equipped for the task, Master Wilt."

The poor creature paused, glanced at his long, winding arm, than resigned himself to fate with a heavy sigh as he stepped forward. "Well…okay, but _only_ because Frankie wants me to…."

As soon as he came within five feet of her though, Frankie squealed and promptly scuttled backwards out of arm's reach.

"Are you actually _serious_?" she cried in disbelief, while still wriggling about uncontrollably under the sensation of her bathing suit's unwanted guest crawling about.

"What? _Yes_, we're serious!" Mac answered. "What's wrong _now_?"

"Dearie, please!" Madame Foster begged. "Just let Wilt-"

"Reach down there in full view of half the beach?" Frankie hissed. "You have to be crazy if you think I'm giving anyone a free show!"

"Oooh, that's right! Sorry, I'm sorry!" her grandmother hastily apologized. "Eduardo, Mac, grab some towels, quickly! Hold on a second, dear-"

"I don't want cover in a second! I want it _now_! I want this thing out of my suit _NOW_!" the redhead howled at the top of her lungs.

Without a word of protest, everyone dumbly circled about and hastily created a living barrier, all of them taking care to make sure they kept their backs to the distressed young woman and her imaginary friend to give them their necessary privacy.

"Everything's all right…nothing to see here…" Mac murmured as a few passerby beachgoers shot the odd formation an array of puzzled looks. Meanwhile, in the center, Wilt paused and took a hard swallow before gazing into his friend's eyes.

"You…y-you ready for this?" the hesitant imaginary friend whispered hoarsely. Frankie cringed uncontrollably.

"I think I just felt it crawl around to my back…" she whined before forcing herself as still as she could. Wilt respectfully averted his gaze, took a deep breath, then gently slipped his hand under her suit.

"_Ackpth_! Your hand's kinda cold…" She whined softly with a wince, while the poor thing looked seemed to be on the verge of tears as he began to instinctively apologize in his skyrocketing embarrassment.

"I'm sorry…Frankie, I'm _so_ sorry…."

A nearly unbearably awkward silence descended upon the group, as Wilt quietly fished about while the others dutifully stood guard.

"Um…" Mr. Herriman murmured, turning his head as he attempted to check on the progress of the search-and-remove mission "Are you two fairing all right back there?"

"Up yours, Mr. H." Frankie snarled crossly like an irritated pit bull.

Immediately the large rabbit obediently ceased his inquiring with a frightened gulp. "Uh…f-fair enough, Miss Frances…"

"Frankie, please," Wilt pleaded. "I'm sorry, but you're not making this any easier-"

"Oh, and you think I'm actually enjoying this?" she snapped through tightly gritted teeth before wincing uncontrollably. "I can't even feel what's crawling around in there anymore, your hand is like ice!"

"Like I'm having the time of my life?" Wilt suddenly snapped in a rare lapse of his famed politeness, then promptly frowned guiltily. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just -_YOW_!"

With a bellow of agony, Wilt tore his hand free, exposing a small, frightened crab that had clung on tightly to one of the imaginary friend's fingers with a sharp little claw. After flailing his arm wildly in the air like a whip for a few moments, Wilt managed to shake it loose, sending the tiny creature soaring back into the ocean.

"Got it!" he gasped as he nursed his aching fingers. "It's okay everyone, I got it…only a little crab, nothing more…it's okay…it's okay…"

"Gee, _that_ was fun." Frankie grumbled sarcastically, with cheeks glowing as red as ripe tomatoes as the wall about them began to disperse. "Goody-gosh, now I get to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment, oh joyous day."

"All right, that's all, folks!" Madame Foster declared as she shooed off all the others. "Go on, we're just fine here! Nothing more to see here, c'mon! Go! Go!"

While the imaginary friends dutifully scattered off, Frankie made a beeline for her towel and sat down with a piteous whimper.

"You want me to fetch something from the cooler?" Mac asked kindly as he tended to her. "A soda? Some water"

"Nah, you're way off!" Goo objected matter-of-factly. "What she needs is a nice, gold ol'fashioned hug, like my momma does whenever I get upset. Here, lemme-"

Frankie instinctively recoiled with a horrified grimace. "Yes on the soda, a big _no_ on the hug. I just had a crab and a hand down where neither of them were supposed to be, so trust me, I'm really _not_ in the mood for physical contact right now."

"So let's give her some privacy now, okay?" Wilt chimed in as he delicately tugged the little girl back a few paces. As the excitement quickly died down, most of the others quickly dispersed, leaving the redhead more or less alone to try and salvage whatever dignity she had left.

"You gonna be okay?" Mac inquired gently as he handed her a cold drink. It was only after that he had asked did he realize how unnecessary his question was; the young woman glowed with such a vibrant blush it looked as if she had sunburned badly all over her body.

"Other than the fact I just humiliated myself in front of everyone, I'm gonna be just peachy." She murmured as she buried her face in her hands. "Jeez, I can't believe that…that I…"

With a sigh, she gestured for the children to give her some space. "I…I just need a couple minutes, okay? Just….just go into the water and play, or something…I really just need some time…"

Rather than do obediently as bid, the children merely began to fidget and started passing each other anxious glances while eyeing the ocean ever so warily. After witnessing what happened to the caretaker, needless to say they weren't all that eager to frolic amongst the waves anymore now that they knew there was a good chance some creature of the deep might attack them, or least crawl somewhere it shouldn't go.

When Frankie first glanced up and realized this, initially she tried to ignore them as she nursed her badly mangled pride. Despite her best efforts, it didn't take long for the kind young woman's heart to go out to the now-wary little ones, and with a sigh she clambered to her feet.

"Okay, let's go." She gently encouraged them as she began plodding back down towards the water, while they followed along at her heels.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! But…but didn't you just say you didn't want to?" Goo squeaked. "Besides, what if we go in there, and like an electric eel or an irritable starfish or a grumpy sea slug or something comes outta nowhere and tried to crawl right up into our-"

"I seriously doubt _that'll_ happen." Frankie replied. "Besides…I don't really think staying freaked out all day because of _one_ little accident is going to do we that much good. C'mon, guys."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mac inquired for good measure. "Frankie, you don't have to if you don't want to. We can just play on the beach and-"

As she carefully began to wade past the small waves halfway up to her knees, she tried to plant on a weak smile. "Hey, let's be honest; I probably shouldn't let a nasty encounter with a baby crab get to me that much-_WAUGH_!"

The instant the kelp-draped arms rose from the water and grabbed hold of the unsuspecting woman's leg, Frankie's jade eyes automatically bulged with terror, and with one hoarse shriek she gave whatever had nabbed onto her a desperate kick. As her attacker went flying into the surf with a shrill yelp, Frankie wheeled about and retreated right back up the beach, pumping her arms furiously and racing through the sand as fast as her legs could possibly carry her.

After disappearing back into the water, just moments later the blobbish, seaweed-garbed attacker resurfaced with a gasp. After spitting out a mouthful of salty water, Bloo looked up and immediately met the fierce gazes of the children, who had swiftly gotten over their initial surprise.

"What?" Bloo whined as he cowered a little. "Oh come _on_, she heard fair and square earlier that she had to fear my terrible wrath…."

* * *

"…Coco! Coco!" Coco elicited a muffled chirp as she jogged backwards a few feet, twisted her entire body around, then released the Frisbee from her beak with a mighty throw.

"I got it! I got it!" Wilt cried as the plastic disc sailed into his hand. After he caught it though, the gangly figment stumbled a few paces, wobbling about dangerous until he found his center of gravity once more. It wasn't as if he could really help it that much; after all, it _is_ pretty difficult to keep one's balance with a twenty-three-year-old young woman clinging tightly to your back.

"_Whoa_!" Wilt yelped before he managed to get back onto steady footing, after which he promptly checked on his passenger. "You okay back there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Frankie replied as she tightened her grasp upon him.

Before the lanky creature threw the Frisbee back to Coco again, he couldn't help but pause and inquire as gently as he could to her. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to just sit on your towel or something? I'm sure if-"

"So something can crawl out of the sand and right into my suit?" Frankie scowled as she shot the ground below a weary glance. "Nuh-uh!"

Once it became quite obvious she wasn't going anywhere soon, Wilt sighed unhappily as he tried focusing his attention on the Frisbee game, thought he couldn't help but muse aloud over a particular mystery that he couldn't keep his mind off of at the moment.

"I'm sorry, but…_why_ do people say coming here is supposed to be relaxing?"

**The End **


	21. Don't You Dare

"Eat the sandwich!"

"I will _not_ eat the sandwich!"

"Eat the sandwich!"

"I will _not_ eat the sandwich!"

"Eat the sandwich!"

"I will _not_ eat the sandwich!"

"Eat the sandwich!"

"I will _not_ eat the sandwich!"

"Eat the sandwich!"

"I will _not_-"

"Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! _Eat_ it!" the little girl demanded again and again as she broke out into a mad dance of impatience.

Despite the terrific fuss she kicked up, the azure imaginary friend just folded his blobbish stubs and shook his head resolutely while he unwaveringly declared for the umpteenth time, "No, I will _not_ eat the sandwich!"

"No fair! No fair! No fair! No fair! No fair!" Goo jabbered angrily as she stomped her oversized cowboy boots upon the floor. "We had a deal! You said that you'd-"

"I said I'd eat it only if you paid me, not if you dug out leftover pocket change!" Bloo snapped. "You call _that_ enough money? I can find more than that under a couch cushions!"

"What do you want me to do, give up my allowance for the next four months?" she practically snarled as she prodded him roughly in the gut. "You're a stupid nasty rip-off, you know that?"

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way, Little Miss Cheapskate!" the little imaginary friend grumbled sarcastically.

"No, you know what this is?" the child growled. "You're scared, _that's_ it! You don't wanna do this because you're just a big fat chicken!"

"Nuh-uh!" Bloo denied hotly. "No way! You just don't want to cough up a few more measly dollars because-"

"Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!" Goo began to taunt angrily, bending her arms and flapping them like wings. "Bawk-bawk-bawk! Chicken!"

"Am not! Am not! Am no-"

"_What_ are you two _doing_?"

The second they heard the astonished cry, the pair immediately went silent as they turned almost in unison to gaze at the confused little boy as he scampered into the living room.

"What's going on here?" A very hassled Mac demanded. "I could hear you guys yelling at each other from upstairs! What's wrong-"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? She's a cheap jerk, _that's_ what's wrong!" Bloo immediately began to whine as he pointed accusingly at Goo.

"Nuh-uh!" she complained bitterly. "He's a dumb, no-good, lousy scaredy-chicken, rip-off artist! Tell him Mac! Tell him that-"

"Huh?" the boy grunted as they immediately began to chatter furiously at the same time. "Wait, wait, wait! Slow down, what happened-"

"What do _you_ mean?" Goo demanded incredulously. "This isn't rocket science or quantum physics or anything super-confusing like that, we had a clear agreement here! The deal was that I give him the money, and he eats the-"

"I'm not even smelling _that_ thing for a measly five bucks!" Bloo suddenly interrupted, much to the little girl's irk.

"Oh put a sock in it, already!" she hissed. "If anything, that's way, way more than you deserve for eating-"

"Eating?" Mac repeated puzzledly. "Eating what– _WHOA_!"

It didn't take him very long to spot the old sandwich sitting upon the floor, or at least what _used_ to be a sandwich. It was nearly impossible to tell with the untold layers of mold that had grown on it and glowed brightly with all the colors one would expect to find in a puddle of vomit.

At first, Mac could do little than gawk dumbly at his imaginary friend for a few moments in disbelief before grimacing in disgust. "Bloo, you were actually going to _eat_ that?"

"Don't be such a baby!" Goo complained. "Look, it couldn't have been where we found it behind the radiator for _that_ long-"

"See?" Bloo asked smugly with a fat smirk. "Did you see how grossed out he is? _Told_ you five bucks isn't enough to get me to-"

"Twelve bucks!" His creator abruptly announced as he removed a bunch of crumpled one-dollar bills from his pockets, which he forcefully deposited it all into Goo's hands. Instantly Bloo's jaw plummeted like a rock as his stubby appendages dangled limply at his sides.

"…_What_?" he squeaked hoarsely.

"Twelve bucks!" Mac eagerly began to explain. "See? Goo's five dollars and my seven dollars makes for an even twelve-"

"_Wait_!" Bloo immediately began to whine in protest. "Weren't _you_ just about to puke because you thought this sandwich is possibly the grossest thing you've ever seen?"

Mac immediately began grinning from ear to ear as he nodded his head furiously in reply. "Yeah…and when _else_ am I gonna see you actually try and eat something like that?"

"But Mac-"

"_YESSSSSSSS_!" Goo whooped exuberantly as she victoriously waved the wad of cash in the imaginary friend's face. "Count 'em up and weep! That's gotta be _more_ than enough for you to eat it now! C'monnnn!"

Bloo paused for a few moments. Not to recover from the shock of his best friend's abrupt turnaround however, but actually to mull over if the small sum the children offered him was enough considering the god-awful act they adamantly requested him to perform.

"Hmmm…." He murmured, resting where his nonexistent chin would be in one of his blobbish stub. "Moldy sandwich….twelve dollars….moldy sandwich…or twelve dollars…mold-"

"Moldy _what_?" A stunned yelp suddenly rang out from the hallway.

"A rotten ol' sandwich, Frankie!" Goo immediately hollered back the moment she recognized the voice. "Bloo's gonna eat the whoooolllle thing if we pay him enough-"

"He's going to _WHAT_?" the caretaker involuntarily yelled in disbelief. "Oh for Pete's sake! _Wait_!"

In an instant a redheaded young woman rushed into the room, waving her arms wildly as she sprinted over to the startled little ones and frantically shouting all the while, "Don't do anything! Don't do anything! Don't do _anything_!"

Before any of the startled trio could a single thing, Frankie skidded to a halt and breathlessly demanded,

"Did he eat it yet?" she gasped. "Did he? _Please_, don't tell me that he actually-"

"N-not yet… Mac stammered, thinking she was about to scold them.

"He w-wasn't really gonna eat it, honest!" Goo tried to sway the caretaker. "Bloo said he didn't have enough money, and-"

Immediately Frankie elicited a heavy sigh of unbridled relief. "Jeez, am I glad I came here just in time-"

"We'll throw it away, if you want to." Mac offered meekly. "We-"

Rather than launch into a stern reprimand about the dangers of stupid dares, Frankie suddenly took out her wallet, wrenched out a small wad of bills and without further ado shoved it all into Goo's hands with the rest of the cash.

"Thirteen bucks!" she announced happily. "Right there! How much do you guys have already?"

"Uh…." The sorely puzzled Goo murmured as she checked on the mess of greenbacks in her hands. "I think we have about twelve-"

"And this makes for twenty-five smackers, total!" Frankie quivered with glee. "Okay that's _definitely_ enough for-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, _Frankie_!" Bloo squealed. "Wait, are you-"

"Goo said they didn't have enough money to get you to eat it, right?" Frankie asked eagerly.

"Um…m-maybe…" the imaginary friend admitted as he eyed her warily.

"Well _I_ just doubled the stakes, and now that _has_ to be enough to make you-"

"You _want_ him to eat it?" Mac yelped in disbelief, to which the caretaker proudly showed off her empty wallet.

"Well, I'm not paying him to take me to the zoo, if that's what you mean!" she replied sarcastically. "C'mon Bloo, twenty-five is a lot…"

"Well…? The little imaginary friend muttered as he fixated his attention onto the dubious-looking mess of bread and what he guessed used to be lunchmeat and cheese. "I...I still dunno…"

"Oh, _no_ way!" Frankie protested, wagging a finger as she squatted a little. "I distinctly heard that _you_, Blooragard Q. Kazoo, was going to eat _that_ festering sandwich right there. I don't know where you guys found it or how this all started, but all _I_ know is that did my part, and you're going to eat every last morsel of that-"

"Wait…so you're not angry that I'm gonna-" Bloo mumbled incredulously.

"The only thing that's gonna tick me off is if I forked over my cash for nothing." Frankie explained bluntly. "Now, are you gonna wolf down the sandwich, or not?"

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Goo squealed as she bounced up and down with unbridled excitement. "Yeah, c'mon Bloo! You heard her! Now you hafta do it! Do it! Do it!"

"Go for it, Bloo!" Mac cheered. "C'mon, you can do it! C'mon!"

"Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!" Frankie began to chant over and over as the little imaginary friend seriously considered it.

"Well….if it's twenty-five dollars…" Bloo muttered as he hesitantly reached down for the old sandwich, as Mac and Goo chimed in with Frankie in a boisterous repetitive cry.

"Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat-"

"Oh good heavens, on earth is all this dreadful racket about?"

There was no mistaking the severely annoyed exclamation, followed by the distinct thump of some creature rushing to the scene in a hasty hop.

"Ah! I should've known!" Mr. Herriman grumbled as he entered the living room and spotted the tiny group. "All right, what is it this time? What on earth was that hideous clamor I just – _OH, GOOD GRACIOUS_!"

Being a hopeless lover of everything proper and tidy, of course the imaginary rabbit couldn't help but recoil in intense revulsion the instant he laid eyes upon the half-decayed horror Bloo was about to devour. As soon as the initial shock had passed, he immediately began gesturing frantically for the small band to disperse.

"Shoo! Shoo! Quickly children, get away from that…that…that horrific monstrosity, right this instant!" he hastily ordered the little ones. "Lord only knows if that revolting waste is diseased, I'm sure you'll catch some disease if you stay within fifty yards of it for much longer! Away with all of you, quickly!"

"Hey, but I already paid him to-" Goo squeaked shrilly in protest.

"And _you_!" Mr. Herriman barked, ignoring all pleas as he whirled onto Frankie. "Miss Frances, what on earth is the meaning of _this_? I've learned time and time again that you don't tend to give a full effort when it comes to your duties, but good God, child! Just look at it! How on earth you managed to miss that terrible catastrophe of a mess right there I've never know! We're probably committing an atrocity by simply allowing this filth to continue to exist! I don't know what you think about this, but by God, I am _not_ leaving here until I personally to it that you get rid of that _thing_ immediately and clean and sterilize the entire-"

As he watched the caretaker bend over and gingerly pick up the rotten mess, the imaginary rabbit simply began to grin in satisfaction at the sight of her obediently doing as ordered….until a certain blob realized they had the opportunity of a lifetime served on a silver platter before them.

"Okay, new bet!" Bloo suddenly blurted out as soon as inspiration struck her from clear out of the blue. "Frankie, you take _all_ the money if you can hit the bunny square in the face!"

"Excuse me?" Mr. Herriman exclaimed as Frankie wound up. "What in the wor -"

_SPLAT_!

"_AAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH_!"

* * *

"...Frankie?"

"Hmmm?"

"…You think he's still on the warpath?"

"Bloo, it's only been like, half an hour. Trust me, it's gonna be a while until Fuzz-Butt calms down even a little-"

"Well can we at _least_ try and switch hiding places?"

"Nuh-uh."

"But… but it _reeks_ in here!"

"_You_ can leave if you want, but I think everyone else here would prefer to live to see another day. Right, guys?"

"Yeah…"

"Sorry, Bloo."

Quickly realizing he was getting absolutely nowhere, the irked imaginary friend folded his blobby appendages and huffed grumpily, though he nevertheless continued to huddle close to his fellow refugees. It wasn't as if he exactly had a choice, though, as the garbage can sitting out by the garage didn't exactly have ample elbowroom.

"He's gotta point, though." Goo suddenly spoke up as she pinched her nose. "It's kinda stinky in here….kinda really, really, _really_ stinky…"

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened, but we don't have much of a choice right now; the worse the stench, the better." Frankie explained. "Herriman's probably not in the mood to deal with anything else putrid at the moment."

"Oh…okay…" the little girl softly complied, and an awkward silence descended upon the foul refuge.

"So…what do we do now?" Mac asked quietly.

"Hey!" Goo suggested excitedly. "How abut this? I'll pay a dollar to anyone willing to lick this apple core here-"

"_Ew_!" Bloo spat. "Oh c'mon, do you think anyone's really gonna degrade themselves for-"

"How 'bout a dollar-fifty?"

"Okay, _now_ you're talking-"

"Knock it off!" Mac groaned. "No more dares, all right?"

"Aw, but Maaaaac-" his blobish creation whined.

"Nuh-uh!" the boy snapped. "Bloo, it's only because you dared Frankie to throw that sandwich that we're even here to begin with! Right, Frankie?"

To his surprise, the redhead looked absolutely befuddled as could be as she replied, "Wait…Bloo dared me to do what now?"

**The End **


	22. Run, Redhead Run

"_Whew_!"

The lanky young woman, garbed appropriately in a pair of shorts, T-shirt, and running shoes, gasped as she jogged into the front yard of the large mansion that loomed over the rest of the neighborhood. After finally grounding to a halt, the redhead paused for a few moments to catch her breath, wiped the sweat from her brow, and then started to do a few quick stretches lest she accidentally pulled a muscle.

"Hello, dear!" a tiny old woman greeted from beneath the massive sun hat that nearly dwarfed her as she kneeled in the middle of one of the flowerbeds.

"Hey, Grandma!" Frances "Frankie" Foster replied with a grin as she jogged over. "How're you?"

"Oh fine, just taking care of some pesky weeds in here." Madame Foster answered. "How'd the run go?"

"Pretty good." Her granddaughter said as she promptly resumed her stretching.

"I'll say; seems like you're spending more time jogging around the neighborhood every week." Remarked the old woman as she broke out into a smile.

"Well, it's kinda relaxing to be honest." Frankie explained. "Plus, it's pretty good exercise…or at least I like it better than then exercise I get here."

"Think you'll be ready when the next Olympics roll around, little Miss Star Athlete?" Madame Foster teased as she dug up yet another weed and added it to the growing pile by her side.

Frankie rolled her eyes. "I said I like doing it, I didn't say I plan on going pro. Though…"

After a pause, she confessed, "I haven't made up my mind yet, but…well, I've been thinking about doing the local annual Fun-Run later this month, but…"

"Oh, the one sponsored by St. Mary's Parish? Oh, that sound's exciting! So, what's stopping you, then? Just a nice little race, and it's only ten dollars to sign up for-"

"No, it's no that." Frankie clarified. "You need to run about ten miles for that race, and…well, I dunno, I only run two or three times a week, usually, and I do about…I dunno, five miles tops, sometimes…"

"Oh, c'mon, dearie." Madame Foster encouraged warmly as she put down her trowel. "Surely you can handle a couple extra miles."

"Maybe…but it's not like this is super important to me or anything." The young woman reminded. "All I said was that I was thinking of doing it, and-"

"Well, I wouldn't doubt if you had it in you." Her grandmother continued to generously heap on the encouragement.

"Thanks, Grandma, but-"

"How about this?" Madame Foster suddenly offered. "How about I help you try and get into a little bit of better shape, and then in a week or two, we'll see if you're up for that ten-miler. Hmmm?"

"Some help?" Frankie mulled over the proposition for a moment. "I…hmmm…I guess I really don't have anything to lose…sure, why not?"

"That's the spirit!" Madame Foster laughed. "Now, how about you head on inside, get yourself cleaned up, and maybe we'll talk this over later at dinner, okay?"

"Okay!" the young woman trotted up the porch stairs. Thanks, Grandma!"

"Oh, anytime, dearie…" the old woman chuckled. "Anytime.."

* * *

_Pweeeeeerrrrrr_!

In an instant the shrill clamor had roused the slumbering caretaker out of a deep sleep. Startled out of her wits for the ear-piercing racket and not having a clue what was going on, Frankie flailed about in a total panic for a few moments.

"AUGH!"

_THUD_.

With a wail the caretaker tumbled out of her bed and onto the floor. As she lay there in an utter daze and hopelessly tangled in her bed sheets, Frankie hastily tried to recollect herself. Unfortunately, just a moment later her eardrums yet again found themselves assaulted by an unbearable, high-pitched clamor as someone blew a whistle only inches away from her face.

_Pweeeeeerrrrrr_!

"Rise and shine, dearie!" Madame Foster enthusiastically greeted her horrifically confused granddaughter with a warm grin. Frankie just stared back blankly, wide-eyed in disbelief.

"…Huh? Grandma, what are you-"

_Pweeeeeerrrrrr_!

The elderly woman gave her whistle another sharp blast, to which the redhead winced involuntarily.

"C'mon, don't want the day to slip away from us, do we? Do you want to get in shape, or not?"

"I-"

"C'mon, c'mon! Let's go! Let's go! Time to get dressed and out the door! C'mon, Frankie dear!" Madame Foster urged all too cheerily as she prodded her grandchild sharply with her cane.

"_Ow_! _Ow_! Grandma, quit it! _Ow_! Okay, I'm getting-_ow_! Hey, I _said_ that I was-_ow_! I only-_ow_! Okay, I'm getting up! Hold on! Just lay off for a second!"

In literally just a matter of minutes, to the resident caretaker's own genuine surprise, she found herself standing out upon the front lawn and changed into some shorts, a T-shirt, and her running shoes. As ready as she looked however, Frankie hardly felt prepared for whatever her grandmother had in mind at all, neither physically nor mentally. She wasn't exactly sure what God-forsaken hour she had been brutally awoken at, but if the fact that the sun was only beginning to rise was any indicator, it was _far_ too early.

As her eyelids drooped dangerously low, all she could think about was how wonderful it would be to back in bed and lying snuggled under her covers. All the while her grandmother, dressed in grey sweats, hobbled about back and forth like a wizened drill sergeant.

"Nothing like starting anything at the crack of dawn to help one feel alive, nosiree!" Madame Foster stated joyously. Frankie just groaned as she failed to stifle a gaping yawn.

"Do we have to do it _this_ early?" she whined shamelessly. "I usually go for a run in the afternoon, not-"

"You bet your sweet patootie we have to do it this early! You can't get in top physical condition lazing around like a fat old slug, can you?" the old woman chuckled. "Of _course_ not! What you have to do is seize the day by the throat, and throttle the daylights out of it until it's begging for mercy!"

"Excuse me?" Frankie grunted at the overly graphic metaphor. Her grandparent just grinned sweetly.

"You wanted me to help you get ready for that race, don't you?" she asked.

"I…I didn't think that I'd get my own personal trainer." The bewildered young woman confessed between yawns. "I just thought I'd get some tips for how to-"

"Well, I can either tell you to stay hydrated and always look both ways before running across a street, or I can _really_ help get you into peak condition for-"

"But-"

"Has a Foster even gotten anywhere by asking a load of silly questions? Nope, and neither are you! Time to stop lollygagging around and get in shape!"

"But Grandma," her still dozy grandchild whined piteously. "I don't want to-"

"Now, drop down and give me thirty!" Madame Foster barked, earning her a blank stare.

"Huh? But -"

"_I said drop down_!" the old woman suddenly distorted her expression into a hideous snarl for the briefest of moments, as that was all that was necessary. Frightened into action, Frankie immediately hit the ground and furiously began doing push-ups, making sure to count each and every one.

"One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…eight…nine…ten…eleven…twelve…thirteen…fourteen…fifteen…sixteen…seventeen…eighteen…nineteen…"

Before she reached twenty though, it was about then that the young woman seemed to fully wake up and thus actually become aware of what she was doing. Abruptly she paused, thought hard about her predicament for a moment, then immediately started clambering back to her feet.

"Grandma, _what_ the heck is going on? This is only for a fun-run, it's not like I'm training for the Olympics or…wait, huh?"

To her astonishment, her grandmother had appeared to vanish completely into thin air, leaving her all alone on the front lawn. Thoroughly befuddled, the redhead started looking around for any sign of the old woman. "Grandma? Grandma where'd you-"

"Get ready, dearie!" a familiar voice suddenly cried out excitedly from behind, followed by what sounded like a muffled motorcycle. Frankie whirled about just in time to spot Madame Foster barreling down upon her atop a Segway scooter

"Huh? Hey, what are you-_OW_!"

Without warning, the old woman sped up the odd, two-wheeled contraption and bumped it right into her unsuspecting granddaughter, who immediately stumbled back a few paces with a yelp of pain.

"_GRANDMA_!" Frankie shrieked in disbelief as she hobbled to safety. "What was _that_ all a-"

"Here I come again, dearie!" Madame Foster warned enthusiastically as she backed up a little and then went full speed ahead once more. "Get ready!"

"Wait, are you going to-_OW_!" the young woman cried out and leapt away once more. "Quit it! What're you-"

"Oooh, you'll have to be _much_ quicker than that!" Madame Foster laughed as she backed up a little again, as if it was all just one big twisted game. "You ready?"

"What? No, I'm not-_OW_! _OW_! Grandma, st-_OW_! I'm not a bumper car-_OW_! Knock it-_OW_! _OW_!"

As she kept reversing and bumming her personal transportation device into the caretaker over and over, the elderly little woman cried out, "C'mon dear, only one way to get out of this! Let's go! Let's go! Move those crazy legs! C'mon, let's go!"

Frankie needed no second bidding, and in a heartbeat she was off like a shot. To her panic though, the nightmare was far from over, for no sooner had she sprinted off, her grandmother immediately followed in hot pursuit.

"That's it, Frankie!" Madame Foster encouraged warmly as the two zipped down the front walk, out the main gates and along the sidewalk. "Nice deep breaths! Pump those arms a little harder! C'mon, c'mon!"

"Are you _crazy_?" Frankie screamed as she ran for her life, managing to keep a precious several-foot lead ahead of her trainer. "Grandma, stop! _Stop_! _STOP_! _Grandmaaaaaa_!"

* * *

"What the…?" Mac couldn't help but exclaim in puzzlement as he and his pigtailed friend trotted up the walkway and onto the front porch of the towering Victorian mansion, only to run smack into a bewildering spectacle.

"H-hey, guys…" Frankie managed to murmur with a weak excuse for a smile as she lay propped up against the house in the shade, with her face as red as a beet, her hair askew, and her entire body practically drenched. Once one took all this into consideration, plus the bags of ice lying atop her knees, to say it didn't take long for the children to figure out something was amiss.

"Holy moley baloney Frankie, what in the whole wide entire world happened to you?" Goo asked as she scampered over to the exhausted young woman's side. "Look at you! You're all like, wet, and warm and scarlet and stuff! I mean, seriously! Didn't anyone teach you to take off all your clothes before you jumped into a hot bath? And just what the heck was the temperature of that water, super-mega-ultra-scalding? Look, you burned your knees and everything-"

"Uh, Goo?" Mac tried to interrupt her river of chatter. "I don't think Frankie was in the-"

"Hot bath, hot shower, it doesn't matter!" the little girl jabbered as she squatted down and felt the sleeve of the young woman's shirt. "I just don't get it! Why didn't you take off your-"

"I just finished my work-out for the day." The redhead explained bluntly. As soon as the child realized that the redhead was coated in a layer of warm sweat, immediately she tore her hands away with a shrill squeal of disgust.

"Ewwww! Gross! That's gross! _So_ gross!" Goo gagged as she leapt back a foot or so, just as a gangly crimson figment suddenly emerged from the house with a water bottle in hand.

"Sorry it took me so long! I'm sorry!" Wilt apologized, as expected. With only a nod of gratitude, Frankie took the bottle and almost emptied the entire thing in just a few gulps, leaving just a little bit to dump over her face to try and cool down.

"Frankie, what'd you do?" Mac demanded as he concernedly checked her over. "You're _never_ like this after you go for a run!"

"But see…well, usually, she doesn't have Madame Foster helping her." Wilt explained with a grimace.

"Wait, what?" the boy asked as he looked to his guardian for clarification.

Instead of any answers though, Frankie just stared at him like a sick dog and groaned, "Somebody...._please_ kill me...."

"You want _what_?" Goo yelped incredulously as her almond-brown eyes bugged to the size of saucers in disbelief at what she was hearing.

"I'm sorry, she doesn't mean it!" Wilt quickly sputtered. "She's said it a couple times already to some others, she's just _really_ tired, that's all-"

"Oh, no way am I doing it for dramatic effect!" the bone-weary redhead moaned. "_Anything_ would be better than another stupid Segway-workout!"

"Segway-what now?" Mac inquired curiously before his guardian yanked him close and continued ranting.

"You think she'd be satisfied chasing me down like some wild animal just _once_ today, but no-ooo! Twice more today, pal, _twice_ more she's made me drop everything, get changed just so she could trail me for two or three miles! I don't care if it keeps me on my toes or not like she said, it's absolutely _crazy_ if you ask me! It's just insane!"

With this, she banged the back of her head against the house and gazed heavenwards. "Oh, someone just _please_ put me out of my misery now."

"Madame Foster's been chasing you around and around?" Goo cried. "You mean, like a lion running after an antelope or a jaguar chasing a tapir or a wolf running after a-"

"All in the name of getting in shape." Frankie groaned unhappily. "Oh God, I never should've shown any interest stupid race, I should've never-"

"The one you were talking about yesterday? Well, then tell her you want ou.!" Mac advised.

"Already plan on it." She replied. "Believe me, if you think I'm going through anything like this again, you have to be-"

"Okay, Frankie! I think this'll do just the trick!" a small azure blob announced as he suddenly plodded out onto the porch and abruptly interrupted the conversation.

"Huh?" Frankie grunted as she turned her head. "Wait, what're you-_AUGH_!"

A hoarse scream erupted from her throat once she saw the little figment heft a croquet mallet high and swing with everything he had. Luckily for her she wasn't the only one who noticed this, and after grabbing hold of her shoulders, Mac managed to barely pull her out of harm's way. As the mallet only hit air, Goo hastily nabbed hold of it and pulled it out of the blob's grasp, effectively disarming him before Wilt hefted him high off the ground.

"_BLOO_!" Frankie shrieked angrily as Mac propped her up against the house once more. "_WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING_?"

Despite everyone's plain dismay, the imaginary friend just stared at them incredulously before tossing his blobby stubs up in the air with a sigh of exasperation. "All you do is yell at me for not listening to you, and the one time I do as you ask, you _still_ yell at me? Jeez, there's _no_ pleasing you …"

* * *

"Hmmm…how strange…" The old woman mused aloud as she wrestled with her grandchild's bedroom door.

For starters, she had arisen early that morning and hobbled down a floor or two to find Frankie's door locked shut, a rarity in of itself. What was at least three times as puzzling though was that try as she might with her own private set of house keys, the door remained just as obstinately closed as before, no mater how many times she swore that she had manually unlocked it.

"Huh…" Madame Foster murmured as she turned the key again and tried to turn the knob, only to find that the door wouldn't budge open one bit. "Why on earth-"

"Don't even _think_ about it!" a defiant cry rang out from inside the room, to the elderly woman's total surprise.

"Frankie?" Madame Foster asked as she pushed upon the door. "Frankie, wait…dearie, I think something's wrong with your lock-"

"Nothing's wrong with it, _I'm_ holding it shut!" Frankie snarled, befuddling her grandmother even further.

"What?" she inquired gently. "Dear, why in the world are you-"

"If you think you're going to force me out of bed at the crack of dawn just to try and run me over, then forget it! My legs _still_ feel like jelly from yesterday! I don't care what you say, I'm not going through another death-workout for a stupid ten-mile race, all right? It's a fun-run, _not_ the Olympics! I'm not going through with this again, Grandma! I'm not! I'm not! I'm _not_!"

"…You mean you're still worn-out from yesterday?" Madame Foster asked a few moments later.

"_Yes_!!" her granddaughter barked. "After what _you_ put me through, I-"

"Dearie, if you're still beat, then of _course_ we can take a break from today!" the old woman immediately conceded without any fuss. For a moment or two, all she heard was dead silence from the other side of the door.

"…We _can_?" Frankie asked warily, unable to believe she had achieved victory so quickly.

"Well, sure!" Madame Foster confirmed sweetly. "I mean, I already guessed you might still be pooped. If you want today off from training, then that's just fine! Besides, that's not what I came down here for."

At this point, Frankie actually cracked her door open and cautiously peered out. "….It's not?"

"We still need to take the bus in to the mechanic's for a tune-up, right?" her grandmother inquired.

"Oh…oh, yeah…" Frankie affirmed. "We _are_ supposed to do that today, aren't we?"

"That's what my calendar says! So we'll take it in right after breakfast?"

"Uh…sure…" the dumbfounded caretaker replied. "Yeah…and…you think maybe later on today, we can…um…y'know, talk about my…uh…my 'training' for…"

"Not a problem at all, dearie! Not a problem!" Madame Foster said cheerily with a fat grin before hobbling off and leaving her stunned grandchild behind. "See you downstairs!"

"Um…" Frankie mumbled, still trying to fathom how fantastically easy that had been. "Yeah…you too, Grandma…"

* * *

"…Oh c'mon, what was I _supposed_ to do?" the azure figment whined to the redhead as she removed a bundle of sheets from one of the many dryers that lined the walls of the laundry room.

Frankie rolled her eyes. "Maybe _not_ try and club me?"

"Hey, _you_ said straight to my face when I found you lying outside, 'Put me out of my misery.' Don't deny it!" Bloo accused stubbornly.

"I was just tired and being overdramatic! I wasn't asking you to actually murder me!" she snapped. "Don't you _ever_ think these things over?"

"Well, duh! Of course I knew that! I was _only_ going to knock you out cold! Y'know, so you wouldn't have to deal with how miserable you were-"

"Why would I actually be serious about that?" Frankie replied as she hefted a loaded laundry basket.

"I just thought that-"

"No, Bloo." She said flatly.

"But I-"

"I said _no_." she gladly repeated as she trotted out into the hall. Thoroughly frustrated, Bloo groaned and went his separate way, unable to take it anymore.

"Gah! You and your stupid mixed messages…." He mumbled sourly as he sauntered off, leaving the resident caretaker alone to tend to her daily duties without any distractions.

...For a grand total of ten seconds.

"What the…" Frankie murmured curiously to herself as she dug her cell phone from her sweater pocket and answered. "Hello?"

Immediately she heard someone gasping for breath through the receiver, followed by a hoarse, but still extraordinarily familiar voice. "Frankie?"

"Grandma?" Frankie replied curiously.

"Dear, quick! You need to-"

"Whoa, whoa! Grandma, what's wrong? I thought that you were out running errands right now-"

"I was, I was! It's just…I was passing by it, and…Frankie, please, you need to get here quick, I don't know-"

"Huh? Get where? Grandma, the bus is still at the shop right now, how can I-"

"The school, Frankie! The elementary school!" came one more cry, and with that her grandmother abruptly hung up.

"G-Grandma?" Frankie whispered anxiously as she tried to absorb Madame Foster's muddled, cryptic message. What was going on? Why on earth would she need to get to the school as soon as possible? Why did it concern her at all? It wasn't like-

"_MAC_!" the young woman let out a shrill yelp that echoed all the way to the heavens once her answer hit her like a ton of bricks. In less than a heartbeat, total panic had ensnarled her tightly in its foul clutches, and her maternal instincts were activated. Immediately she let go of both the laundry basket and her phone and bolted off towards the nearest staircase, moving as fast as her legs could possibly carry her.

"Miss Frances?" a well-attired imaginary rabbit inquired worriedly as she passed him by downstairs into the foyer. "Goodness child, where do you need to be off to in such a haste-"

"No time!" Frankie gasped as she forcibly pushed him aside, nearly bowling Mr. Herriman over. After flailing about wildly for a moment or two, he managed to grasp onto the banister just before he almost tumbled head over heels down the staircase. Before he could rebuke her though, the resident caretaker had long since made it to the main floor and dashed outside.

She knew far too well she had no automobile to transport her. Never mind, she hastily concluded as she flew down the front walk and out the main gates, for she'd simply make due with what she had. The young woman couldn't waste so much as a precious moment searching for any alternatives, her charge could very well be in danger and she had to get there, _now_.

Unsurprisingly, her muscles all quickly began to ache in protest over the punishment she began to put them through, especially her unbearably sore leg muscles and knees that felt like they wanted to give out at any moment after what they endured the day before. Despite her agony, the panicked young woman raced on, desperate to get to the school as quick as her endurance allowed her to.

Thus, onwards she dashed, never slacking her pace for a second, with her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps and her arms pumping so furiously they became green-sleeved blurs. By the time the redbrick elementary school appeared in the distance, sweat was gushing from her pores, her lungs burned, and she was practically numb from the hips down. Nevertheless, she actually managed to pick up her pace at this point and threw every ounce of energy she had into this final sprint, and she hurled herself towards her destination, to find…

"_Huh_?"

Mere words were useless in attempting to depict Frankie's astonishment as she stumbled to a halt only to find that everything appear to be perfectly all right, unless one actually considered schoolchildren at recess a catastrophe. Besides that, there was literally nothing at all to be alarmed about, and Frankie just stood there, gawking blankly while gasping for breath.

"_Time_!" a familiar voice suddenly cried out. Still reeling from her immense shock, the redhead turned around and immediately laid eyes upon the little old woman standing outside her sleek Pontiac Firebird, with a stopwatch in one hand and a smile spreading across the width of her face.

"G-G-G…G-Grandma?" the flummoxed girl wheezed as her grandmother hobbled over to give her a congratulatory pat on the hand.

"My word, dearie, that was _fantastic_!" Madame Foster whooped. "You were here practically no time at all! Wonderful job! Just wonderful!"

"Wha?" Frankie grunted. "Wait…you mean…there wasn't any…th-then why…did…"

She remained confused beyond belief for but a moment before comprehension hit. "Wait…wait, w-was…was this all…all j-just…just for…"

Her grandparent just nodded warmly with a toothy smile. Stunned, Frankie glanced back towards the school, as if to make sure no disaster had occurred. Sure enough, all the schoolchildren playing outside looked as safe and happy as could be, with the exception of one puzzled little boy perched atop the monkey bars.

"_Frankie_?" Mac involuntarily shouted in disbelief, as the little girl by his side started waving furiously.

"Hiiiiiiiii, Frankie!" Goo greeted excitedly before the two clambered off and rushed over.

"Frankie, what's wrong?" Mac asked worriedly as he skidded to a halt. "What're you doing here? Is everything all right?"

"Uh…is…is everything all right here?" the redhead asked out of the feeble hope that her grandmother did _not_ just trick her into an intense workout.

"Yeah, course everything's fine over here! Fine, just fine! Right as rain!" Goo answered. "But what's the matter with you? Why are you all damp and…oh, _ewwwwww_, you weren't running around again like a loony, weren't you? Weren't you totally super upset because that's _all_ you did yesterday? Huh?"

"I…I…" the utterly thunderstruck and thoroughly exhausted caretaker could only stammer. "I…I _thought_ that-"

"Hey! _Hey_!" They were all suddenly interrupted as a teacher started shouting sternly whilst she made a hasty beeline towards them all from the playground. "Just what do you two think you're doing over here? You're _not_ supposed to talk to strangers-"

"Wait! But she's not a stranger!" Mac protested.

"Yeah! Uh-huh!" Goo chimed on. "She's not! She's not!"

"Well if that's true, then _who_ is this? If you two are fibbing, then I- _oh_!" the teacher gasped once she got a good look at the redhead, allowing for recognition to dawn quickly. "Oh, I'm sorry! You're…Miss Foster, right? Yes, yes, I remember, we met at parent-teacher conferences last month, didn't we?"

"Uh…" Frankie could only murmur before the other woman went on.

"What are you doing here? Is everything all right? Did…." Suddenly, her pale blue eyes began sparkling with excitement as she broke out into a hopeful smile. "Oh! Oh, did Mac call you to come in and speak to the class?"

"Call me for _what_ now?" the redhead inquired dumbly with a blank stare.

"So can you do it?" the teacher begged as she clasped her hands tightly. "Please, I really don't know if we could get anyone else for Career Day on such short notice! One of the other parents literally bailed out on us just an hour ago, see and I…well, it wouldn't be that hard, all you need to do is tell the children what you do and then let them ask some questions. Really, it's no difficulty at all, and you don't even need to wait very long, because we're going to hold it right after recess is over. Could you?"

Utterly wiped out form her mad dash, it took Frankie several moments to understand the request. "Um…I…well, I…see, I didn't come over to…I-I'm only here because-"

"Well of course she can!" Madame Foster eagerly volunteered her granddaughter. "After what I've seen her do, it's nothing that she can't take care of. Isn't that right, dearie?"

"Er…" Frankie grunted. As soon as she suddenly became aware of the fact that her aching legs felt like two slabs of dead meat attached to her body, she grimaced and mumbled, "Well…seeing as I'm probably not going anywhere anytime soon…"

* * *

"…I would have to say that went along quite nicely. Don't you think dear?" Madame Foster asked as the little group exited outside in the wake of the massive stampede of children that had fled out the doors just moments after the chime of the school bell had signaled the end of the day.

Even though Frankie was limping along with Mac and Goo at each side helping to support her, she nevertheless wore a massive genuine grin of pure glee.

"Who would've thought I would be the most popular one there today?" She chuckled incredulously.

"Duh!" Goo chirped. "Course you were! You get to hang out with imaginary friends all day long and stuff, not many people get to do that at all!"

"Well…it's sorta just maid's work, to be honest…" the caretaker objected humbly, though she couldn't help remark with a snicker, "Ha! The kids all made me talk longer than the business executive or the mom who worked at the mayor's office. Oh man, I don't believe it…"

"You do a lot everyday…and not just maid's work." Mac complimented sincerely, earning him an affectionate pat on the head.

"Thanks, pal."

"I guess that just about does it." Madame Foster chortled. "It took quite a bit of work, and little luck, but we saved Career Day! Wonderful work, everyone! Now, how about we all head home?"

With this she hobbled off, but she only made it about several steps before she realized she was walking alone. Confused, she whirled back around to spot her granddaughter frozen in place, gawking at her bewilderedly.

"…Grandma…_what_ the heck are you talking about?" Frankie demanded flatly. The old woman just gazed back, looked genuinely puzzled.

"Huh? What do you mean? It just saying how we all pulled together in the end and managed to save Career Day here at the school from-"

"No! No, Grandma! Nuh-uh!" her grandchild reminded. "No, we were _only_ here because _you_ had me race all the way from the house just to help get me prepared for that stupid race next week."

"…The what next week?" Madame Foster asked innocently with an expression of total incomprehension. Frankie's jaw quickly went slack, and her emerald eyes bulged almost out of her skull in enormous disbelief.

"…Oh… my God…you…y-you actually…you _completely_ forgot all about _all_ of that, didn't you?" she stammered incredulously.

"What'd I forget about, dearie?" the puzzled old woman asked politely once more, to Frankie's skyrocketing dismay.

"Y-you _did_, didn't you?" she accused. "Didn't you? Oh, please, tell me you're joking! _Please_, Grandma! Y-you can't be serious! You _can't_!"

"Dearie, forget about wh-"

"The Annual Fun-Run? Sports whistles? Segways? _Chasing_ me? You just admitted to me an hour earlier that you fooled me into a workout! Does _any_ of this mean _anything_ to you?" Frankie demanded as she waved her arms frantically. "_Does_ it?"

"…What on earth is this all about again?" Madame Foster just replied, looking as genuinely bewildered as could be.

As stared blankly, for a few moments Frankie felt the strong urge to throw back her head and screech at the top of her lungs out of frustration with her nightmarishly eccentric grandmother. Fortunately though, she just barely managed to fight off the impulse, and with a dejected sigh, she let her head sag as she grumbled, "Just…just go get the car, Grandma."

"Dearie, I don't understand all this talk about whistles and-"

"_Get the car, Grandma_!" Frankie glared daggers and snarled in her barely-restrained ire.

"Fine, I'm going! I'm going! Honest, no need to work yourself into such a fuss." Madame Foster scolded lightly before trotting off, leaving the others behind to stew in their confusion over what just what happened.

"…Guys?" the redhead suddenly asked the children by her sides.

"Yeah?" Mac answered as he watched Madame Foster warily.

"Uh-huh?" replied Goo as she consolidated her hold on the wobbly young woman.

Grimacing worriedly, Frankie begged, "Please pray that I won't be like _that_ in sixty years…"

**The End **


	23. Don't Knock It 'Til You've Tried It

"Holy moly…just _what_ is she doing in there?" Kathy snapped angrily as her patience finally reached its limit; enough was _enough_. After slamming so hard down upon her car horn she nearly punched a hole through the steering wheel, the intensely frustrated young woman clambered out of her battered little sedan and stormed up the walkway towards the ornate front doors of the massive Victorian mansion, all the while muttering murderously under her breath.

"Fifteen minutes? What did she decide she wanted to try and _read War and Peace_ right before she left? I _told_ her I'd be here at seven-thirty! Not seven forty-five, and she's completely out of her mind if she thinks I'm going to just sit in my car and twiddle my thumbs until past eight o'clock! C'mon, _what_ is taking her so long? Sheesh!"

She continued ranting venomously to herself as she strode up the porch for Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, and without so much as a quick courtesy knock, Kathy open the doors and barged straight into the foyer.

"Hey, Frankie! _Frankie_!" The young woman stopped in front of the main staircase, cupped her hands over her mouth and began howling like an irate timber wolf. "Hey Frankie, you comin' or not? Seriously, I'm _not_ waiting one minute more for y-"

"Shhhhh!" a panicked shush suddenly rang out from the nearby TV room. "Not so loud!"

As soon as she recognized the unmistakable voice of Foster's resident caretaker, Kathy abruptly went silent, gawked confusedly in the direction of her friend's reply for a few moments, then broke out anew with a fresh sour scowl.

"I don't care if a little too much of a racket gets the rabbit's underwear in a knot!" she snapped furiously. "You know how long I've been waiting for you in the driveway? _Too_ long, _that's_ how much! Seriously, this is _not_ cool! What are you-"

"Kathy! For crying out loud, will you _just_ quiet down a little?" she could hear her best friend beg shamelessly.

"Oh, _no_ way! Not until you tell me why…" The cross retort died upon Kathy's thickly painted lips the second she entered the room and came across a rather curious sight. By the look of Frances "Frankie" Foster's makeup-coated features, snappy outfit, and scarlet locks let down from their usual ponytail, it seemed that she was more than ready for a night out.

However the dozing little boy lying curled atop her while she lay sprawled across the couch, plus the look of almost motherly worry on her expression all seemed to give a clear sign that the redhead was going absolutely nowhere soon. As Mac stirred a little in his deep slumber, Frankie instinctively hugged him a little closer and grimaced.

"You…you almost woke him up." she whispered with an embarrassed grimace, make it clear that she was more than aware of how odd the whole scene looked. Kathy, hopelessly baffled, just stared back for a few moments as if the caretaker was completely out of her mind.

"So…_this_ is why I've been waiting?" she murmured as she began to fidget confusedly with her slightly curly, jet-black locks. Almost instantaneously Frankie lit up with such a magnificent blush her flaming red hair and her normally pale facial tone nearly became indistinguishable from one another.

"I'm sorry, Kathy, I'm sorry!" she sputtered apologetically. "I swear, I didn't mean to keep you waiting, it's just that…well, I got ready earlier than I expected, so I decided to watch some TV to kill the time, and…Mac joined me, see, and he…he just kind of…y'know dozed off, and…honest, I heard you honk loud and clear when you first showed up, but…b-but…"

While she was temporarily overwhelmed with utter embarrassment to the point where all she could do was stammer, Kathy tilted her head and murmured incredulously, "…You didn't come out to the car…because Mac decided to take a nap?"

As absolutely foolish as she knew it sounded, Frankie reluctantly admitted the queer fact of the matter with a wordless nod before trying to explain lamely, "I'd…I'd have to get up to leave and…I-I didn't want to wake him up while I-"

Before she could go on like so, Kathy buried her face in her hands with emitted a low groan of complete and total aggravation. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me…"

"Oh c'mon, Kath, give the little guy a break!" The redhead protested. "He didn't sleep well at all this week, he was too busy stressing about a history project that he had due today, and-"

"Mac is _not_ the problem here, and you _know_ it, Mama Foster!" Her friend countered. "Oh my God, you're…you're….you're just unbelievable, you know that?"

As one of her least-favorite nicknames rang loud and clear in her ears, Frankie at first wanted to fire back with the appropriate counter, but before she knew it, instead she found herself arguing defensively "But…but you should've seen him Thursday night! The poor little guy was so tired, I thought that-"

"And so I was just supposed to just wait outside all night because you wanted Mac to catch up on his Z's?" Kathy grumbled.

"It's not like I didn't try and do anything!" The redhead countered. "When I heard you pull in, _I_ did try to get up, but…"

"_But_…?" the other woman grumbled impatiently as she tapped her foot.

"I…I-I…" Frankie stammered a little in her still-skyrocketing embarrassment before she managed to answer, "I tried to get up, but…see, as soon as I tried, Mac stirred a little, and…and I thought I might wake him up by accident, and…I keep trying, really, but every time, it always seems that I might…y'know….look, I _know_ I sounds stupid, but-"

"And it only sounds stupid because it _is_ stupid!" Kathy snapped as she rolled her eyes. "Holy jeez, you are _such_ a freaking mom, I can't even stand it! Frankie, you're really going overboard here, you know that? You're my friend and I love you to death, but sometimes you're just _too_ much with-"

"I'm _not_ a mom!" Frankie snapped. "I'm Mac's _big sister_. And you better not bring up _that_ stupid argument again, because-"

"Earth to Frances Bridgett Foster!" her friend groaned. "Just _look_ at yourself! The _only_ reason we're in this mess is because you're without a doubt the most shamelessly maternal woman I know, and because of that you can't get off your rear and-"

"I…I…" Frankie sputtered "No, it's just that…I-I _told_ you, I just don't-"

"Pfft! Yeah right!" Kathy scoffed. "Don't even try it! You can't fool me! And don't think you can get away only with that 'I just don't want to wake him" load of garbage. I see right through you, Foster's resident Mommy! You tell me it's only that, but you and I _both_ know it's not true! You say that you don't wanna budge only because Mac needs to sleep, but you know what?"

The young woman leaned in close to the redhead as she accused in a whisper, "You don't it this only because you have to, but because you _like_ this. No, scratch that, you _love_ it when you just get to cuddle him, because you are hands-down, _such_ a m-"

"N-no!" Frankie hastily replied, but her darkening blush said otherwise.

As the redhead nearly became as scarlet as a ripe strawberry, Kathy shot right back, "See? See? You _do_ like it, because you're _such_ a mom! M-O-M, _mom_! Got it? You're the most motherly thing here in a fifty mile radius, and _that's_ what's holding us back from-"

"Nuh-uh! Kathy, I've said it a thousand times over, I'm Mac's big sister and guardian and…and I…" Rather than continue on with the instinctive barrage of protest, Frankie actually paused a moment to mull over her friend's accusations. Her emerald eyes darted down towards the still-slumbering child in her arms, and once she realized the full extent as to how utterly reluctant she was to disturb her charge, she let out a long sigh that seemed to say, _just who am I kidding_?

"See? _See_?" Kathy said accusingly. "Case-closed! You are _so_ a mom, and that's what's holding you back! But if you think I'm gonna let _that_ keep us from a night out, then you have another thing coming! C'mere!"

"_Hey_! What are you doing?" the redhead yelped as her friend took a few steps forward with arms outstretched.

"Doing what _you_ didn't have the guts to take two measly seconds to do, Mommy!" Kathy grumbled. "Look, this isn't rocket science! If you're having such a hard time parting with him, then _I'll_ just pick up Mac, you can get up, and I'll put him back down nice and easy-"

"No!" Frankie steadfastly refused, looking so horrified it was as if her companion had just offered to shove Mac into a wood-chipper. Automatically the stubborn woman tightened her hold on the boy and cried, "You might wake him up! C'mon, he _really_ needs this!"

"Fretful Mama Foster thinks that he needs it!" Kathy plopped herself down on the other end of the couch with a frustrated sigh. "That, and chances are it probably doesn't even matter what you do tonight, because if I know you, and unfortunately I do, you'd probably be just as happy staying here and-"

"I know it sounds weird!" Frankie snapped. "But…look, I just really, _really_ don't want to wake up Mac because…because…"

After trying to come up with a reasonable excuse, the redhead admitted defeat with a sigh as she started shaking her head wearily. "Okay, you know what? Fine, you win! I _do_ like this! God forbid I actually like bonding with him! Oh, heaven forbid it!" she whispered sarcastically.

"_Thank_ you!" Kathy sighed in relief.

"But I swear, it's mainly because I just _don't_ want to wake him up, okay?" Frankie snapped. "I _don't_. If you're more than willing to rouse a little kid after watching him barely get a wink of rest for almost a week, well then good for you! But _I_ do _not_ want to-"

"You're just too maternal for your own good, _that's_ what you are!" Kathy shot back. "I mean c'mon Frankie -"

"That's just the way it is, all right? It's…look, it's a parent thing, okay?" Frankie tried to clarify. "You don't have a kid to look after, you wouldn't understand-"

"I _work_ for child services, and I've seriously met moms with newborns who aren't a third as bad as _you_ can get!" Kathy grumbled exasperatedly. "Look, I'm sick of arguing about this! This isn't hard, Frankie, just pick him up and-"

"It's a _lot_ harder than it looks, Kathy!" Frankie vehemently asserted. "Trust me, if you were in _my_ place-"

"If I was in your place, I would've gotten up and out the door as soon as I heard my friend in the driveway!" Kathy snapped. "But apparently that's way too much for you to handle, because you're such a Grade-A M-"

"Is everything okay? Whatcha fighting about?" the curious query abruptly interrupted the fierce bickering. Together the two ceased their bickering and looked up to see a familiar little girl gawking curiously at them as she plodded into the room in her banana-yellow cowboy boots.

"…_Goo_?" Frankie exclaimed in surprise. "Wait…where'd you come from? I thought that you left-"

"I called Mama, and she said I could stay here a little longer…" Goo paused to rub drooping eyelids. "Only if I agreed not to go home and let her come by and pick me up instead, y'know, so I don't get lost wandering around out in the dark, or get hit by a car or truck or motor scooter, or maybe a bike, or even getting attacked by a flock of bats, or something like that, y'know. Anyway, I was just playin' with Bloo and Coco in the arcade but…I dunno, I don't have it in me for another round of _Ultra Speedboat Racer_, because….because…"

The child's unusually slow-paced jabbering was interrupted by a gaping yawn, thus signaling that she was running pretty low on energy. So worn out was she, Goo didn't even seem to notice that the two young women were all dressed to go out; all she noticed was her friend fast asleep in Frankie's lap, and once she saw that Mac was deeply slumbering, which she smiled weakly and asked hopefully, "Hey, can I hang out in here with you guys?"

Before Kathy could understand what was going on, the little girl had already walked over, climbed up onto the sofa, and began clambering into her lap. Needless to say, she wasn't pleased, and immediately tried driving the little one away with a barrage of gentle scolding.

"Whoa, hey! No, nuh-uh! You can sit _next_ to me, okay? _Next_ to me. Goo, _what_ did I just say? I said _next_ to me. Seriously, I'm…no, _we're_ leaving in like, a minute, so you….hey, what did I just tell you? I'm _not_ a pillow, all right? _Hey_! Hey, are you listening to me?"

Apparently not, seeing as how without a moment's pause, Goo had gone right ahead and curled up atop the young woman's thighs. The moment she made herself comfortable, the drowsy child let her almond eyes shut tight.

Hardly in the mood to be used as a human mattress, Kathy just groaned in annoyance, rolled her eyes, and scooped the little one right off. Or…at least, that was what she _wanted_ to do, at first.

"Uh oh…" Much to her untold horror, the first thing that crossed her mind as she was about to grab onto the little girl was _not_ how much of a pest Goo was being. Rather, she couldn't help but notice how…as Goo lay there, smiling softly in contentment, all curled up and….well, what other way was there to say it? The already half-asleep child looked downright adorable.

Abruptly she made a burst of effort to try and snap back to her senses. Despite her efforts to convince herself a quick shove was all Goo needed…only a moment later she found herself wincing a little at the very idea while she found herself staring in beguilement at the blissful little creature.

"Oh _no_…" she moaned unhappily as soon as the terrible realization sank it. Despite all that she had been proudly proclaiming earlier…she didn't have the heart at all to disturb such a picturesque sight. "It's…it's…"

She banged the back of her head on the couch and gazed heavenwards with a whimper of utter dismay. "It's too _cute_."

"Wait a minute, you're not gonna let just a little kid stop you…are you?" Frankie teased from her end of the sofa, as a fat jubilant smirk spread across her features from ear to ear. Kathy sighed heavily while she lit up with a bright crimson blush.

"Y'know…" she murmured with a sigh as she tried to make herself comfortable. "On second thought…vegging out here isn't really all _that_ bad…"

**The End **


	24. Kitchen Antics

Once the first droplets of the sweet, refreshing homemade beverage danced upon his taste buds, the little boy couldn't help but burst out smiling in mid-sip. After all, there were probably fewer simple experiences more satisfying than downing a glass of cold lemonade in the middle of a warm summer's day, or at least that's what Mac decided as he slaked his thirst.

As he happily gulped down the delicious drink in the middle of the Foster's kitchen however, little did he realize that he was far from alone, and it was only after he felt a pair of small hands descended upon him from behind was he rudely awoken to this unpleasant truth.

"DRIMBUSH!" The attacker's jubilant high-pitched yell rang out loudly throughout the whole kitchen as she suddenly began tickling the little boy's sides furiously.

The results were instantaneous; badly surprised by the assault in mid-swallow, Mac immediately spewed out his mouthful of lemonade with all the force of a miniature fire hose. As he began coughing up the last remnants of the foiled sip, his assailant abruptly withdrew from her playful attack. As a glut of giggles quickly began to reverberate throughout the room, Mac whirled about to find an all-too- familiar little girl, rolling about on the floor and squealing raucously with triumphant laughter.

"_GOO_!" he stomped his foot and hollered angrily, while his mirth-stricken companion just flashed a toothy smile and happily announced,

"Gotcha!"

However, as she burst out chuckling uncontrollably again, her friend clearly did not share her delight as his faced grew flushed with outrage.

"Got me with what? Seriously, what was _that_ all about?" he demanded flatly. No sooner had he asked when Goo immediately leapt to her feet and began to willingly explain in a fast-paced eruption of chatter.

"Drimbush! You throw 'drink' and 'ambush' together, and now it's totally awesome new game I came up with just this morning! See, see, you just gotta wait, gotta be real patient, _reeeeeeal_ patient, 'til you see someone you know taking a drink of something. It could be a mug of tea, could be a glass of milk, could be a can of soda, could be cranberry juice, could be cran-apple juice, it doesn't matter, 'cuz all that's really, really important is that they're drinking something, because that's when you tickle them and yell as loud as you can, 'drinkie-tickles' so then that-"

"You made me spit up _everywhere_!" Mac whined as he wiped at the dribble on his chin and ruefully examined the wet splotches dotting his red T-shirt. "Seriously, that's not cool!"

Goo just snorted with laughter at the comically pathetic spectacle he posed. "Duh! It's not supposed to be cool! It's supposed to be funny!"

"Well, it's _not_ funny then!" he protested as he tried to salvage a shred of dignity. Despite his obvious fury, she brushed his complaints aside with ease as she erupted into another fit of the giggles.

"That's what _you_ think!" the little girl laughed as she joyously relished in her newest cherished memory. "Ooooh, you should've see yourself, it was like watching a bug-eyed fountain! Heehee! They were like the size of saucers! No, dinner plates! No, no, like pizzas! Hahahaha! Yeah! Oooooh, if only I had a camera!"

"It's a stupid game, and it was _totally_ uncalled for!" Mac continued to persistently object as he waved a half-empty glass in her face. "Look, all I wanted to do was have a drink, why'd you feel like you had to ruin-"

Before he could bombard her with a hail of grievances, Goo rolled her eyes and folded her rainbow-sleeved arms in a huff. "Okay, okay, okay! Cool it, Mister Crybaby!"

"I'm not a crybaby!" he snapped. "I just wanted to have a glass of lemonade, that's all!"

"Okay, jeez! I'm sorry already!" she apologized halfheartedly with a disappointed frown. "Just wanted to have a little fun, that's all, sheesh!"

"If you ask me, I say you can have a good time _without_ bothering people while they're drinking." The boy grumbled as he prepared to take another sip. However, just as his lips touched the top of the glass, he suddenly noticed that his friend's frown was twisting slowly but undeniably into a mischievous grin. Needless to say, her change in expression while she intently watched him made him profoundly uneasy.

"Don't you even _think_ about it." Mac growled and glowered warningly.

Goo giggled as her impish smile gradually spread from ear to ear. "Don't think about what?"

"You know what I mean." He countered as he slowly backed away a few paces, protectively holding his drink close. "You're going play your dumb game again, aren't you?"

"Another round of Drimbush? Already?" she replied before erupting into full-fledged laughter, as if the very idea was ridiculously silly. "Now why would I do that?"

"Because you're weird like that." Mac stated matter-of-factly as he continued to back away.

"Maybe later, but now? Nuh-uh!" Goo squeaked, shaking her head and sending her trademark trio of braids whipping about. "The whole point of Drimbush is to surprise someone, 'cuz that's what makes it so funny! See? So what's the point of trying it now if you know that I'm already gonna do it? No element of surprise, no funny, no point!"

Despite some lingering suspicion, Mac had to admit that she had a very sound argument. After she flashed him a reassuring wink, the boy quickly concluded the devious smirk she had been wearing earlier had been nothing more than a mind game performed for her own amusement. Still keeping a wary eye fixated upon his still-beaming companion for safe measure, Mac took a quick sip,

"SNEAK-ATTACK!" someone shrieked joyously as a pair of hands seemed to descend from the sky and started to tickle the unsuspecting nine-year-old behind the ears. "Gootchie gootchie goo!"

Startled beyond belief, Mac temporarily transformed into a human geyser as twin sprays of pink lemonade shot from both his mouth and nostrils in a spectacular explosion. Once the damage had been done, the ambush was abruptly halted, leaving the little boy free to salvage the shattered remains of his pride.

Bearing an expression akin to that of an enraged pit bull, Mac wiped furiously at his slightly stinging nose as he whirled about to glare daggers at his triumphant attacker.

If looks could kill, Frances "Frankie" Foster would've perished on the spot. Alas, such was not the case, and the young woman continued to leap up and down ecstatically while clapping her hands with delight and grinning like a nitwit.

"Itwas worth it! It was _so_ worth it! Heeheehee!" The lanky redhead squealed like a giddy schoolchild. "You should've seen yourself! Haha!"

As Frankie continued to celebrate her dazzling victory, Mac whirled about to where Goo stood bent over double, clutching her aching sides and almost shrieking with laughter.

"You _knew_ she was there! That was her you were smiling at, weren't you? _Weren't_ you?" the boy accused fiercely. With tears of merriment streaking down the sides of her face, the little girl nodded furiously.

"Hahahaha! It's even funnier when young get to watch it! Heeheeheeheehee!" she squeaked joyously. "Hahaha, gross! You spit it up everywhere!"

Absolutely livid, Mac turned around again and faced Frankie with a ferocious snarl. "_Why_?"

Frankie trembled wildly with glee as she wiped at her eyes. "Heehee! Goo was so excited about her idea, she told me all about it when she arrived, and…a-and….hahaha! I'm sorry, I just walked in through the door, and saw she had already…ha! I couldn't help myself! I just couldn't! Bwahahahahaha!"

"Heeheehee! Lookit, it's all over his shirt!" Goo giggled as she pointed at the saturated front of his favorite red T-shirt. "What's wrong, Mac? Need a bib?"

By this point, the boy was long past incensed, and was now ineffably embarrassed. With his entire face going flush and the laughter of the girls ringing in his ears, Mac gazed upon each one of them and began to wail hoarsely,

"Cut it out! This isn't cool at all! All you're doing is making me spit up, that's disgusting! Seriously, it's not funny! Quit it, quit it! Hey, I said….oh c'mon! Please?"

As soon as he started to beg, Frankie tried to suppress her laughter as she clambered down onto her knees to give Mac a calming pat on the shoulder. "Oh lighten up, pal. We didn't mean any harm."

"Yeah!" Goo chirped as she bounced over to squeeze her friend in an unnecessarily tight hug. "You know that we're just foolin' around!"

Mac whimpered unhappily. "I…I just want to finish my drink…"

Frankie couldn't help but chortle as she tousled his hair. "If that's what you want, then fine. No more surprise tickle-attacks, okay?"

Wanting nothing more in the world at the moment then to finally quench his thirst in peace, Mac hastily lifted his glass before pausing midway to pass her a skeptical glance. "Promise?"

"Yup! I've already gotten you, remember?" Goo reminded, as Frankie grinned and nodded reassuringly.

"It's okay, kiddo. I promise…."

As soon as Mac began to gulp down the rest of his beverage though, the redhead burst out cackling wickedly as she launched a surprise strike, much to the surprise of both children.

"I promise that this is never, _ever_ going to stop entertaining me! Ha! Cootchie-coo, Macky-"

Unfortunately, she had made the grave error of commencing her tickly assault from the front, putting her practically face-to-face with the little boy. It was only when Mac uncontrollably spewed an enormous mouthful of lemonade full-force into her face did she recognize her enormous tactical blunder.

Thoroughly drenched from the neck up, the young woman promptly called off her attack and remained kneeling speechlessly, slightly stunned by how colossally her plan had backfired. Mac meanwhile managed to turn his head to sputter up the last little bit of his swig lest he soaked her any further and completely annihilated what dignity she had left. Goo, after gawking wordlessly in shock, twirled about and pragmatically raced off to grab some paper towels while she fought in vain to keep from exploding into a mad fit of the giggles.

As Mac began to gingerly dab at Frankie's face with a shirtsleeve, the caretaker blew a soggy crimson strand from her eyes and mutter gloomily, "I stand corrected…"

**The End **


	25. Room for Improvement

"_Oh, good heavens_!"

The large imaginary rabbit exclaimed in incomparable appall, as if the earth had opened up and he just had a glimpse into the bowels of hell itself. After all, it wasn't exactly every day that the mud itself appeared to tramp in through the front door to try and take shelter from the light rain outside.

The very instant his initial shock began to wear off however, a stern scowl suddenly took root about his features, and in a heartbeat the elderly figment had dashed over and firmly nabbed the two-muck splattered miscreants before either had a chance to do anything.

"_OW_!" the mud-covered little boy yelped in agony as the imaginary rabbit grabbed hold tightly of his earlobe in a vice-grip, while his equally filthy blobbish companion squealed in pain as some skin on the side of his head was pinched sharply.

"_YOW_! Hey, what gives?" Bloo yelled indignantly before Mr. Herriman quickly silenced them both with a piercing stare.

"Oh, I'll gladly tell you 'what gives,' Master Blooragard!" he barked. "You two ruffians sincerely believe that you can just frolic about freely in the filth outside, then saunter right in without any repercussion whatsoever? Balderdash! You should both be quite aware for at this point that not only do you stay insides when it downpours, but you do _not_ romp in the mud and then bring it right back here and turn this house into little more than a pigsty! I thought I've made this clear before, absolutely _no_ mud fights!"

"Ow! Sorry! We're sorry!" Mac instinctively yelped as he squirmed about in agony. "But we were going to go right upstairs and clean up, honest!"

"And track even more filth into this house? Oh, don't even think about it!" came the stern reply. "Master Mac, you don't even want to know just how appalled I am by you in particular as of this moment! What on earth will your guardian say when she learns that thanks to you and that conniving creation of yours, she'll have to spend goodness only knows how long cleaning up this-"

"Found my scrunchie!" a lanky, muck-covered figure announced happily as she suddenly slipped in through the front door. "Sorry about the wait, guys. Okay, now all we have to do is just head upstairs and clean up before….the rabbit….finds out…that…we…"

At first, Mr. Herriman couldn't even recognize the resident caretaker due to the fine coating of mud that covered her from head to foot. Once recognition set in though, his eyes almost popped to the size of ripe oranges in his shock, while the young woman rapidly trailed off into a dead quiet once she looked up and spotted him smack in front of her face. Immediately she froze like a deer in headlights and just stared mutely in total dismay, unable to believe her rotten luck, as the imaginary rabbit just gawked incredulously right back, unable to believe his own eyes.

"…Miss Frances?" he finally managed to murmur.

Instantly Frances "Frankie Foster lit up with a blazing blush so bright it shined straight through the filth that covered her. After remaining as silent as a corpse for a few moments more, the embarrassed redhead planted on a woeful excuse for a disarming grin and after unsuccessfully trying to come up with a half-decent excuse, she finally just admitted truthfully, "Well…I-I... I haven't really had a good mud fight since I was just a kid, y'know…"

* * *

Usually, it wasn't much of an occasion at all when the mail arrived daily, as it was supposed to. Thus, needless to say, one particular resident was quite surprised one afternoon when she received something not only out of the ordinary, but quite to her extreme disliking as she rapidly made clear.

"_Are you trying to tell me something_?" The young woman barked angrily as she abruptly stormed into the expansive office.

Not even batting an eyelid, Mr. Herriman calmly looked up from the finances he had been reviewing and answered slightly confusedly, "I beg your pardon, Miss Frances?"

Looking fit to maim something, Frankie glared daggers his way as she stormed over to his desk.

"Don't act like you don't know!" she hissed. "What in the world is _this_ all about?"

With this angry inquiry she fiercely slammed down several magazines atop the mess of paperwork he had been tending to, and in quick succession she pointed to every one and read their name aloud.

"_Mommy and Me Monthly_, _Mothering Today_ and _Parents Weekly_, all of them addressed to _me_, all of which just arrived today." She explained before shooting him another dirty look. "_Is_ there something you want to tell me?"

Rather than be alarmed by the fires raging in her emerald eyes, the elderly figment just took a quick glance at the assorted magazines and immediately burst out grinning. "Ah! What a coincidence! I was just wondering when they'd begin to arrive. Splendid! I wasn't expecting such haste at all, seeing as it was only last week I subscribed to-"

"Excuse me?" the indignant redhead snapped, while Mr. Herriman calmly motioned for her to settle down.

"Please, Miss Frances, there's no need to work yourself up into such a fuss. Just-"

"No need?" Frankie snapped incredulously as she sat herself down. "You just told me _you're_ the one who's subscribing to these stupid things! As far as I know, _you're_ telling me I'm doing a grade-A job of screwing up taking care of Mac, and now I have to listen to a bunch of-"

"Come now, I never explicitly made such an accusation." He countered calmly.

"So what gives with the magazines, then?" she scowled darkly. "Huh? Why the h-"

"Miss Frances, please calm yourself!" Mr. Herriman implored again. With an irked groan, she nevertheless ceased her ranting, crossed her arms, and slumped a little in her seat as she waited for some answers.

"Now, Miss Frances, you must understand." The imaginary rabbit began to explain. "It's not that I feel that you're having considerable difficultly caring for Master Mac on your own. Indeed, perish the thought; ever since the child officially took up residence here under your care, you've done quite the commendable job of looking after him. However, while hardly sloppy, I do believe that your parenting skills are a bit…how shall I put this….'lacking' in some areas-"

"Lacking?" she repeated irritably as she shot upright in her chair. "Just what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I'm not accusing you of intentionally harming the boy in any way, shape or form, I'm simply saying that sometimes you're far too lax in your methods." Mr. Herriman answered. "You can't act like a mere child yourself anymore, seeing as how you're caring for one yourself-"

"So I actually like cut loose to have fun with him! Big deal! Frankie scoffed. "What, are you saying I have to be a stickler like you?"

Mr. Herriman promptly ignored the less-than-flattering comment. "I'm just saying you need to do a bit of a better job acting as the proper mole model he needs, or trying to be the better guardian you can actually be. Thus, after a bit of research, I took the liberty to fill out several subscriptions to credible magazines to assist you-"

"Well, let me come out and say it now; you're wasting your money." The young woman declared flatly. "You can have a thousand of these dumb magazines come a day if you like, but I'm _not_ going to even touch a single one. I don't care what you think, I say I'm getting along fine without any weirdo columnist telling me I need to freak out every time Mac gets a scrape on the knee-"

"Think again." Mr. Herriman cut her off sternly. "Miss Frances, I not only expect you to start reading these, but I also expect to start seeing noticeable changes in your methods soon, ones that won't give me any need to worry about Master Mac's future or fears he won't be the well-adjusted child he needs to be if -"

"But-" Frankie tried to whine in vain.

"I don't want to hear a single word of protest on the matter." he interrupted as he shoved the magazines right back into her hands. "There should be no reason for you to treat this like some sort of punishment. I'm no dungeon master; I'm _only_ doing what's best for both you and the child. Now, it's time for you to get some serious reading done, young lady! Are we clear?" he demanded.

The dumbfounded caretaker didn't even remember how she had replied, or how he managed to make her leave, though she could guess that he accomplished it somewhat forcibly. All she knew was that a heartbeat later she found herself standing back outside the office, magazines in hand and the rabbit back with his nose to the grindstone once more.

With a low moan of disbelief, the despairing redhead nevertheless opened one of the magazines just to get an initial clue of the kind of parent Mr. Herriman apparently wished for her to become. Her eyes darted downwards and she softly read aloud titles of all the articles in the table of contents.

"Hugs; Why You're Probably Not Giving Your Children Enough of Them'….'The Right Way to Do Bedtime.'…oh, gimme a break….'Are Your Kids Eating Enough Vegetables?'….'Are Your Kids Eating Too Many Vegetables?' Wait! What the…?"

Once she had some idea aboutt eh kind og guardian that the rabbit was now apparently expecting to be, the redhead tugged the despised magazines under her arm and headed off with a groan. "I think I'd have more fun jumping in front of a steamroller…."

* * *

If there was a better way to start a morning than by tackling head-on a hefty amount of paperwork that needed to get done, the imaginary rabbit didn't know about it, he decided as he paused midway through paying a utility bill for a quick sip of tea. As he took a moment so savor the taste of chamomile though, a barely noticeable but definite smile started to flitter across his furry features. Correction, now he _did_ know if-

"Will you _please_ just settle down for ten seconds?" the aggravated but familiar-sounding cry suddenly echoed from outside Mr. Herriman's office, effectively grabbing hold of his attention in an instant, and thoroughly puzzling him as well. That was strange…it was a bit too early for him to deal the usual shenanigans one puts up with while helping manage a home for imaginary friends. Now who on earth would be able to irritating antics already?

His answer arrived swiftly, for just a second later he heard a higher-pitched, equally familiar voice sputtered apologetically, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just…look, you never know, okay? I read how this seven-year-old in Florida was in a coma for two weeks because she smacked her-"

"I'm not going to be in a bike tournament or anything!" came the frustrated reply. "I'm just walking to school like I _always_ do-"

"Yeah, but you walk on the sidewalk for that, and who knows what kind of condition its in! You could trip, and then smack your head right on the-"

"Oh c'mon! I'm _not_ going to-"

"Please, pal, just for me? Seriously, all I'm asking for you is-"

"I told you, I _don't_ want to-"

Before this could drag on any longer with absolutely no end in sight, Mr. Herriman promptly rose from his seat, and swiftly hopped out of his office and right into Fosters expansive foyer, inquiring as he dashed to the scene, "What is going on in-_oh mercy_!"

The figment took one glance at the redheaded woman trying to force what appeared to be a bicycle helmet onto an unwilling little boy, and he couldn't help but exclaim hoarsely in shock. With her haggard expression, heavy bags sagging under normally sparkling green eyes, and unusually pale pallor, the resident caretaker looked as if she had just risen from the grave after fretting herself to death.

"Huh?" Frankie murmured distractedly as she craned her neck around. "Mr. H?"

"Make her stop!" Mac begged as he finally wrestled her away and managed to back off a few paces. "Please!"

"I…I-I…" Mr. Herriman stammered stupidly for several moments, near speechless in his shock before he managed to ask, "My word, Miss Frances, _what_ on earth happened to you?"

"Nothing!" the obviously exhausted young woman replied. "Nothing at all! I was just-"

"She just won't stop freaking out over everything-" Mac tried to answer before she interrupted.

"Nuh-uh!" Frankie denied. "I just…the thing was that I…see…"

After attempting to explain herself without any luck, she finally sighed, decided there was no other way to put it, and answered, "See, I…I started reading those magazines you gave me, and…and I…"

Suddenly, her mouth contorted into a guilty frown, and quickly she buried her face in her hands and lamented remorsefully, "Oh my God, I honestly had _no_ idea!"

"No idea?" Mr. Herriman repeated confusedly. "Miss Frances, what do you mean-"

"Do you have any idea _how_ lucky I am that Mac's even here with us today?" the clearly distraught young woman snapped. "_Do_ you?"

"I-"

"I mean, the threats lurk just about _everywhere_!" Frankie ranted like a doomsday prophet. "Until I read all those articles yesterday, I had no idea, and it's only _now_ that I've realized how far I've gotten on just dumb luck! I mean, the lunches I used to make for him were just packed with preservatives, no telling what those things will do! I never check if he puts on any sunscreen before he goes outside, and…and the germs! According to _Mothering Today_, I should be down on my knees thanking God that he hasn't gotten hepatitis yet!"

"Hepatitis? Oh good, gracious!" Mr. Herriman cried, thoroughly appalled by the radical transformation the worry-stricken redhead had worked herself into. "So you mean to tell me that you've been up all night fretting over-"

"You're going to wash you hands as soon as you get to school, right?" Frankie turned back to Mac and demanded. "Right? Are you going to-"

"Only if I don't have to wear these." Mac tried to compromise as he pointed to his knees and elbows, much to Mr. Herriman's dismay.

"Goodness, are those pads the child is wearing?" he demanded, bug-eyed in disbelief.

"Well, what do you _want_ me to do? Let him fall down by accident and get a cut? You don't have a clue about the kind of damage that can be done by an infection!" Frankie snapped. "_Parents Weekly_ told me all about it! I can't just let him walk out the door every morning without any protection from…f-from…"

Judging by the manner in which her eyeballs nearly bulged out of their sockets and her jaw dropped a little, it was quite clear that an extraordinarily unpleasant realization had just sunk in, much to Mr. Herriman's worry as he cautiously approached. "Uh…Miss Frances? Miss Frances, are you-"

"Oh….oh my God…" the distraught young woman murmured under her breath. "I…I-I…"

"Frankie?" Mac whimpered as he tentatively stepped towards her. "What's wrong?"

"I…I-I…I…I-I've been….I-I've b-been letting you walk to school this entire time…" the guilt-ridden redhead answered hoarsely before she sobbed despondently, "_Alone_!"

To the others' surprise, immediately she actually burst into tears, and hastily threw her arms around the child and hugged him close. As the waterworks were turned on and the hot tears started streaking down her cheeks, the stunned imaginary rabbit standing by her side cried out, "_What_? Miss Frances, why in heavens' name are you so hysterical over-"

"B-because I've been an idiot, _that's_ why!" she wept bitterly as she coddled Mac and tightened her already tenacious hold, as if she was never going to let him go. "Every magazine told me over and over how I need to be more careful, especially when I let him go outsides! Do you have _any_ clue how many kids go missing every years because of all the sickos out there who kidnap-"

"Please, there's no need to go to pieces here." Mr. Herriman, looking enormously alarmed by her distress, begged as he patted her back. "I-it's all right, Miss Frances, you…uh…you just-"

"How could I have been so stupid?" she lamented miserably. "I-I…I just let him walk out on his own everyday, all th-the way to school b-by himself, and…w-when some slimeball just couldn't pulled up in h-his car, and….a-a-and just could've…oh my God….oh my God, I…augh, how could I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Never had he seen his creator's usually feisty granddaughter so outright hysterical before. Needless to say, Mr. Herriman didn't like it one little bit, and it hardly took long until the outright guilt over reducing her to such a pathetic mess had completely overwhelmed him as he quickly realized his plan had backfired spectacularly.

"Miss Frances, _where_ are those magazines I gave you?" he demanded frantically.

"Huh?" she sniffled.

"In her room!" Mac cried out as he tried to squirm from her grasp. "She was looking through them there this morning when-_AUGH_! Oh, seriously, cut it out! Frankie, c'mon, please!"

As her body started to quake under the force of fresh sobs, Frankie squeezed him a little closer, bringing him in far-too-close contact with her tear-streaked cheeks. Fortunately though, Mr. Herriman had already received the vital information he needed, and in a heartbeat he was barreling up the stairs like a furry juggernaut.

"Never again." He breathlessly promised to himself between gasps. "Never, ever…my Lord, _never_ would I have imagined that…right in the trash they go, I'll put them right where they belong…"

It wasn't long until he had frantically bounded off, leaving Frankie and her charge alone. For a few moments, the two went dead silent, each one listening intently. As soon as she was convinced the rabbit was long out of earshot though, the "distraught" caretaker suddenly broke out into a small but genuine grin as she chortled, "I don't believe it…"

Immediately Frankie released Mac to try and fight off a surge of giggles, but her efforts turned out to be fruitless as her entire body quaked with immense glee.

"You were _great_!" she tittered as she proudly gave him a pat on the head.

Mac, looking none for the worse from the experience, just smiled and said modestly, "Nah, I didn't do that much…_you_ were the one who made it realistic."

"Ha!" she laughed while wiping her eyes with a sweater sleeve. "All it took was remembering when my hamster died in fifth grade and staying up half the night. Heehee! It was totally worth it! I can't believe Peter Cotton-Butt bought it so quickly! He actually thought I had totally gone ultra-fretful mommy in no time at all!"

"I'm _just_ glad we don't have to worry about how many green vegetables I need to eat everyday." Mac remarked in relief as he started to remove the elbow and kneepads. Frankie meanwhile continued snickering deviously.

"Ha! Got that right! Heehee! I almost wish it didn't happen so quickly, I was actually starting to enjoy it." She sniggered. "To be honest, I was kinda hoping 'Ultra-Fretful' wouldn't work, and we'd have to do the 'Super Smothering' parent routine."

Mac chuckled. "If act one didn't work, that would've _definitely_ done the trick."

"Yeah, I can only imagine what the look on the bunny's face would've been when I started hugging you and planting fat, wet kisses all over your cheeks like there's no tomorrow. Ha! Honest, you have no clue whatsoever how many articles I found in those stupid magazines written by kooky ladies who said you had to give your kid like, a zillion hugs and kisses every day or else they would….uh….or else…or else they won't....grow up right, and….and they...."

Just like that, their mirth came to a crashing halt once they jointly realized a certain something that unfortunately, neither one wanted to openly admit it at first. As the laughter abruptly died and they trailed off, the two just stared silently at one another before Mac reminded with a grimace, "Well…you are…I mean…you get…uh….well, you already…y'know, you do kinda give me a lot of -"

"I _only_ give you a hug when you leave for school!" Frankie sputtered defensively in a hasty attempt to prove that she was in no way at all like the "kooks" that she had been lambasting a minute ago.

"…And…and when I come home in the afternoon, too…remember?" Mac reminded meekly.

"Well…yeah, yeah you're right…" she quickly conceded. "And I guess we can't forget bedtime, too…and first thing in the morning, too…and…"

She quickly went silent again as she took a few seconds to try and accept the fact that the indisputably copious amount of affection she enjoyed lavishing upon her charge made her _somewhat_ like some of the parents she had read about and deemed crazy.

Unsurprisingly, it soon proved to be a bit difficult to try and accept this truth, and as she quietly struggled, Mac cleared his throat, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and muttered, "Uh…I…I gotta get going…"

For a moment, her arms started rising before Frankie quickly placed them back at her sides as she replied with a face as scarlet as a ripe tomato, "See you later, pal…thanks for all your help…"

"No problem….bye, Frankie." He bid his adieu before turning around, opening the front door, and exiting outside. To his surprise though, he didn't even get halfway down the front walkway before a pair of slender arms wrapped around him from behind and swept him up into the air.

As the shamelessly maternal redhead squeezed him tightly in a warm good-bye hug, she admitted with a weak smile and a chuckle, "Okay…so big deal, I'm a bit of a kook already...."

**The End **


	26. Body Issues

"….Hey, I'm just telling you, it's not like _I'm_ the only one to blame here for-"

"What do you mean? _You_ were the one who pitched the ball right at my-"

"But I told you, it's like trying to throw something towards like, the Great Wall of Czechoslovakia-"

"_China_."

"Whatever! It's like throwing something right at the Great Wall of California and trying _not_ to hit it. It's almost impossible! Did you seriously expect me to-"

"C'mon, Bloo! It's not _that_ big!"

"Oh yeah? Well have you looked in a mirror lately? Buddy, I'm sorry, but-"

"Knock it off, all right?"

Needless to say, it didn't take long for the clamorous bickering to nab the attention of Foster's resident caretaker. As soon as she heard the squabbling, Frances "Frankie" Foster looked up from the array of dirty pots she had been scrubbing and muttered curiously to herself, "What the-"

A moment later the door swung open, allowing a familiar little boy and his azure blob of an imaginary friend to enter the kitchen.

"Mac, seriously!" Bloo whined as he trailed at his creator's heels. "C'mon, all I'm saying is-"

"I told you, cut it out!" Mac snapped, then promptly winced as he clutched at his head, to Frankie's dismay.

"_Whoa_!" the redhead exclaimed. Moving faster than the wind itself, she ripped off her rubber gloves, and in an instant she was down on her knees by her charge's side. "What happened?"

"We were hitting a few balls outside, when Ma-" Bloo tried to explain before the child cut him off with a growl.

"_Don't_ say it."

"What? I'm just telling her that-"

"Yikes." Frankie grimaced as she checked the extent of the damage. "That's definitely a nasty bump you have there, pal. How'd you get that?"

"Like I was saying!" Bloo obligingly piped up again. "We were just hitting a few balls around out back, but as soon as it was my turn to pitch-"

"What? Wait, so you accidentally threw it at-" Frankie tried to ask.

"Don't say it, Bloo." Mac begged again, but to not avail.

"No, see, first time I tried to throw it, Mac's head got in the way." Bloo clarified, much to his friend's obvious displeasure.

"_ARGH_!" Mac groaned irritably. "Bloo, it didn't get in the way, you just-"

"Mac, come on! Just look at the size of that thing! It's not like I had a lot of choice! I couldn't help but to-"

"Bloo, quit it!" the child snapped. "It's not that big, you just can't-"

"Pfft! Yeah right!" the little blob just scoffed. "Just look at you! It's the size of a-"

"I _don't_ have a big head!" Mac grumbled stubbornly. "I don't-"

"If that's really so true, why was it that I hit you with the baseball there? Because I couldn't avoid it, that's why!" Bloo countered. "What do you have to say to _that_, huh?"

This time, Mac had no reply as his creation's stubborn, confident insistence proved to be far too much to take. Instead, the boy's cheeks went flush in raging embarrassment, and with a whimper he went back to nursing his wound while his imaginary friend broke out smirking triumphantly.

"Ah-_ha_! See? See? You know I'm right! You _know_ that I'm right! There was _no_ way I could miss hitting you because you have such a-"

Frankie could've easily tried to silence the pesky little creature with some firm scolding, but to be honest, she wasn't even in the mood for that; actually, at that point she already didn't even want him around at all so that she could tend to her parental duties unimpeded. Without even missing a beat, the caretaker fetched a cookie from the cookie jar, and wordlessly waved it about in the air before launching it into the dining room with the force of an Olympic discuss thrower. The instant he spotted the sugary treat sailing through the air, Bloo was effectively neutralized as an annoyance.

"Hey Frankie, what're you doing with that coo-_MINE_! It's _mine_!" Bloo hollered at the top of his lungs as he chased off after it. "I call it! I call it! It doesn't matter where it lands, it's _mine_! Mine, all _mine_! I called it! Mine! Mine!"

The instant she was rid of the boastful blob's presence, Frankie promptly went back to dutifully tending to her injured charge. "Okay, c'mere pal, up we go."

With one fluid movement, she lifted him up off the floor and seated the boy upon the countertop before whirling around and bolting off to fetch an icepack.

"Just gimme a sec, okay?" the redhead said as she fished about in the icy depths of the freezer. "I just gotta….hmmm, one of them has to be somewhere, we have at least, like, three of those in…let's see, maybe they got pushed all the way to the-_gotcha_!"

With icepack in hand, the triumphant young woman grinned as she jogged back over to her charge. "Got it! Okay, now hold on a sec and lemme….uh…Mac?"

A worried frown hastily replaced the smile on her face the moment she saw just how pitifully morose the little boy appeared as he sat on the countertop.

"Pal?" she inquired gently as she placed a hand under his chin and lifted his head a little until they were eye-to-eye. "Mac? You okay?"

The child just grunted and averted his gaze, much to her confusion. Feeling soundly puzzled, the redhead delicately placed the icepack upon his minor wound as she tried prying again, "Pal, what's wrong? It doesn't hurt that badly, does it? It's just a bump on the head, you've had way worse than that without…"

She stopped cold in mid-sentence as soon as she realized that Mac was now staring into one of the large metal pots that the caretaker had been scrubbing earlier. As he fixed his gaze upon his somewhat distorted reflection, his expression slowly contorted into a self-loathing grimace, until finally he looked away with a despondent sigh, "I'm _such_ a fathead."

His guardian just gawked dumbly at him in total surprise for a few moments. Never had she ever expected to hear that come out of the mouth of her normally very mature, sweet-natured charge. "….What?"

"It's like a big melon on top of my neck." Mac just grumbled miserably, to which Frankie rolled her eyes with a sigh of exasperation.

"Oh, c'mon, Mac." She groaned. "Don't tell me you actually bought into what Bloo was telling you about-"

"Just look at me!" the child implored dejectedly. "What is there to say? No, my head _isn't_ absolutely huge?"

"Pal, you don't have a-" Frankie instinctively tried to comfort, to no avail whatsoever.

"Yes, yes I do, Frankie! I do!" he lamented pitifully before slumping his shoulders with a discouraged sigh, thus making it perfectly clear he wouldn't hear otherwise. In absolutely no time, he had successfully killed off Frankie's attempt to save him from his heartbreaking self-consciousness that was now threatening to consume him entirely.

Needless to say, Frankie at first had no idea whatsoever about what she could possibly do at this point. After all, what else was there left for her to say? Feeling quite lost, the slightly flustered young woman just gnawed anxiously upon her lower lip as she thought hard to come up with a new course of action.

"It's….um…it's okay, pal…" she murmured half-heartedly as she looked around the kitchen, hoping desperately to try and find some inspiration. "There's….uh….no need to be upset, it's….er….it's….it's…"

It was right then that her emerald eyes wandered over to the half-cleaned pots lying assembled by the sink. The second she took one hard glance at her own reflection, a light finally went on in her head, much to her untold excitement and delight.

"Okay, pal." Frankie fixed on a fat smile as she went face-to-face with her extremely glum charge. "So…you mean to say that _you_ think your head's a little too big?"

"Uh-huh." He grunted morosely. "It's like the size of a sack of potatoes."

"And so….that means you think that you like weird compared to everyone else, right?" she continued, her warm grin never wavering for an instant.

After he nodded wordlessly in reply, Frankie chuckled as she finally went in for the kill. "Mac, honestly; does _anyone_ who you know seriously pass for 'normal'?"

"Wait, what?" the little one exclaimed bewilderedly in surprise.

"_Well_?" she just persisted warmly. "Does anyone?"

"Uh…" Before he could point to her, the caretaker grabbed hold of his hand and interrupted in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"If you think you can honestly use me of all people as an example, then I have two letters for you, pal; N-O."

"_Huh_?" her thoroughly perplexed charge whined hoarsely as Frankie suddenly began tracing her finger up and down her neck, only confusing him even further.

"If I'm really the model of perfection, then what do you call this here, Einstein?" she teased.

"Um….your…your neck?" Mac answered as he gawked in befuddlement at her.

"Is it _really_ just that? Or is this actually my free pass to join any circus sideshow that I want to?" she joked.

Mac shook his head in total bewilderment. "Frankie, I…I don't understand-"

"Oh c'mon, just _look_ at me." Frankie only laughed. "I seriously have enough space between my shoulders and my chin to park an eighteen wheeler! Freakishly long, and also nice and skinny to boot! Now, tell me this, pal; whenever you see me, do you immediately gawk at the space between my chin and shoulders that's so big an eighteen-wheeler could park in it?"

"Uh…no…" Mac replied honestly.

"Well, is your first instinct to go and call the zoo to tell them that one of their giraffes got loose?"

"…No." he answered as he struggled to suppress a smile at the silly thought.

"Oh, really? Well, do you try and feed me a bunch of acacia leaves?" Frankie chortled.

"N-no." This time, Mac couldn't help but chortle just a little. "_Augh_! Wait, wait-hahahahaha! Stop it! Stop it! Cutitout! Heeheehee!"

Moving faster than the eye could follow, Frankie suddenly nabbed hold of the child and without warning began to mercilessly tickle his belly. Grinning wickedly, she giggled, "No, no of course not! You don't do _any_ of those things because newsflash bucko, you don't care about what makes me look a little weird. Nobody does! And you know what else?"

"Heehee! W-what? Hahahaha!" her squirmy captive managed to yelp.

"The exact same goes for _you_, mister, no matter what." She proclaimed. "Got it?"

"But…hahahaha! B-but Bloo-" Mac unsuccessfully tried to encounter.

"What, him? No-Nose McFootless doesn't have a clue what he's talking about." Frankie snickered as she effectively reduced him to a wriggly lump of laughter. "Now tell me, are you gonna mope around because of absolutely nothing for the rest of the day? Or you want to 'talk' about this a little while longer? Hmmm?"

"N-no!" he cried out, as she just playfully cocked an ear in his direction.

"What's that? I can't hear you!" she answered in a mock singsong manner. "Say that again, pal?"

"N-n-no! I get it! I-I get it!" Mac squealed as he wriggled about in her inescapable grasp. "I get it! Heehee!" I get it!"

Immediately, Frankie released her hold upon the little one with a triumphant giggle. "And don't you forget it either. Now, it's time for certain someone to actually start enjoying himself today, don't you think?"

"I get it, I get it." Mac replied in mock exasperation before putting the icepack aside, leaning over and throwing his arms around her in a warm hug. His guardian grinned happily as the child said sincerely, "Thanks, Frankie."

"Remember, there's absolutely nothing to mope around about; trust me, _no_ one minds." She laughed, and with this she scooped him up into her arms again, eagerly returned the squeeze, then set him back on the floor. Promptly Mac scampered off, and in a flash he was gone. Having successfully tended to her parental duties, the redhead continued smiling from ear to ear in her triumph as she went right back to her scrubbing.

It was then that she took another glance at her own reflection in one of the large, dirty cooking pots. Try as she did, the young women couldn't help but give in to the strong temptation to have a good long look at the very somewhat peculiar physical feature of hers that she had been discussing about a minute earlier.

"Uh…." She whimpered as the demon of self-consciousness slowly began to ensnarl her in its foul clutches. Quickly she attempted to reassure herself, "That's right…n-no one cares at all…"

* * *

"Miss Frances? Miss Frances!"

As soon as he heard a certain imaginary rabbit cry out the resident caretaker's name, Mac closed the book he had been reading, tucked it under his arm, hopped off his bed and then promptly scampered out of his room and into the bedroom almost directly across the hallway.

"Frankie? Frankie, Mr. Herriman's calling for you. Frankie?" Mac inquired. The young woman in question however couldn't reply, for she had long since slipped off into an impromptu nap, and now lay sprawled atop her bed in a deep sleep.

No sooner had the child realized that she was slumbering deeply though when he heard Mr. Herriman yell sternly, "Miss Frances! Just where on earth are you? You better not be lazing about when I thought that I specifically informed you earlier that the foyer is long overdue for a good sweeping! I promise, young lady, you better not be shirking your duties right now, or believe me, there will indeed be consequences to pay!"

With a yelp of alarm, Mac hastily swung into action. After wracking his brain furiously for a few moments, the little boy clambered up onto Frankie's bed, and without a second thought he hurled himself onto her lap.

"_OOF_!" Frankie grunted under the force of the violently rude awakening. Instinctively, she sat up with a start literally just a moment before Mr. Herriman appeared in her bedroom doorway.

"Miss Frances? Miss Frances, just what in the world do you think you're-"

"So Frankie, _why_ did George Washington need to cross the Delaware River?" Mac asked loudly enough for the imaginary rabbit to hear loud and clear while he held up the book to his sorely confused guardian's face.

"_Huh_? Pal what's-"

"Oh…oh, I see." Mr. Herriman said with an understanding nod as he promptly softened his expression. "Never mind, then."

"What?" Frankie whined as her head spun in befuddlement. "Mr. H, what-"

"Don't worry, Miss Frances, you just continue helping your charge with his schoolwork. It's all right, it can wait." the figment answered, as he tucked his hands behind his back and hopped off.

For a few moments, Frankie just stewed wordlessly in total puzzlement until the realization that she had just been saved in the nick of time from a sound lecturing hit her like a thunderbolt.

"Oh, jeez!" she exclaimed before enveloping Mac in a hug of gratitude. "Yikes! Thanks for bailing me out back there. Man, the rabbit probably would've chewed me out until-"

"No, it's okay, really!" he replied modestly. "Don't worry, you just….uh…."

It was right about then that Mac noticed something mighty peculiar about the young woman's appearance, to her plain unease. She laughed nervously, "W-what are you looking at, pal?"

"Um….Frankie? Is that a _scarf_ that you're wearing?" he inquired.

Frankie froze before she lit up with a bright crimson blush. "I…I-I…"

The puzzled scratched his head. "Wait….why are you wearing a scarf _inside_ the house?"

She merely grimaced guiltily before lamely replying, "Uh…no reason…"

**The End**


	27. And the Rest

Well, that does it! I've edited and posted all of my formally rejected fics, which I sincerely hope that you've all enjoyed. However, I'm not quite done just yet.

Some of you may recall that my original last fic, "As Usual", took place a few years in the future to show everyone a glimpse of what life has in store for everyone in this little slightly AU series of mine. Well, I managed to find a bit of spare time, and wrote a new little story to take us to that same setting one more time before I brought this collection of fanfics to a close. Thus, I hope you enjoy this story, and I just wish to sincerely thank you all for everything.

Sincerely, Dude13

* * *

"Oh, for the love of…."

Frances "Frankie" Foster groaned in dismay after pausing to take a good look at just how much progress she had made over the course of the past half-hour. Alas, the drawers of the massive oaken desk sitting in the middle appeared to be just as hopelessly crowded as ever with Lord only knew what, despite the fact that it felt like she had filled up half of the spacious office with clutter she had removed from in there. Mentally, the redhead cursed; as much as she hated to admit it, her efforts to try and keep certain places organized were a bit…well, lacking, or at least in comparison with the previous president of Foster's.

Such was why Frankie was taking advantage of this unexpected bit of free time that had occurred despite her normally busy schedule to try and tackle the disaster within the bowels of her desk, with frustratingly little success so far. The head of Foster's heaved a sigh while another woman watched the spectacle with an amused grin as she leaned against the desk and sipped some coffee.

"So tell me again; when did you decide to try and beat the world record for most disorganized office ever?" she cracked.

Frankie scowled darkly. "I'll let you know as soon as you remind me why I keep letting _you_ drop to visit whenever you want."

Kathy snorted with laughter at the snide remark. "Touche."

"Seriously, give me a break. We can't _all_ be as uptight as Peter Cotton-Butt ever was." The head of Foster's grumbled irritably.

"Speaking of, if only the rabbit could see _this_." The curly-haired woman giggled like a schoolchild, while Frankie just made a face.

"No thanks, I'd rather he stays with Grandma in….uh…."

"Where'd she drag him to now?" Kathy asked before taking another sip of her coffee. Frankie paused and thought hard for a moment.

"The last postcard was from Puerto Rico, so I still think they're somewhere in the Caribbean. As far as I care, the bunny could be in Antarctica instead of here, nitpicking at everything I do." She grumbled before reaching back into a drawer and lugging out yet another armful of junk.

"Whatcha got this time?" Kathy asked with a snicker as she knelt down to help sort through the small pile the redhead laid on the floor.

"A whole lot of nothing, that's what." Frankie muttered. "Let's see….some envelopes…a handful of adoption forms…some old phone bills that have already been paid for….who knows what _this_ thing used to be...what the? Oh for Pete's sake! What's this photo album doing in here?"

"Don't ask me, I don't even live here." Kathy replied with a shrug and a chuckle as the redhead groaned loudly in deep exasperation.

"Jeez! I've been searching for this thing _everywhere_! Why in the world did I put it in the-"

Frankie's grumblings were abruptly interrupted by the sound of squeaking basketball shoes in the foyer, followed by the gentle inquiry from a familiar voice, "Frankie?"

"In here!" the woman in question called. No sooner had she answered when the pitter-patter of little feet suddenly announced the arrival of a veritable little blur into the room.

In a flash, Frankie's mood seemed to brighten instantaneously. Promptly she broke out grinning from ear to ear before hurriedly setting the old album aside and kneeling down with her arms wide open.

"Mommy!" the little blur of a four-year-old redheaded little girl squealed excitedly as her mother swept her up off the floor and into a hug.

"Hey there, sweetie!" Frankie happily cooed to her daughter. "Look who stopped by to visit us!"

"Hi, Aunt Kathy!" Bridgett squeaked with a fat, toothy smile as soon as she spotted her godmother standing not too far away. Kathy couldn't help but chuckle at the curious little sight the two posed; it almost looked as if her best friend was holding a minature version of herself.

"Hello to you too, honey. Where'd you come from?" she chortled warmly.

"Playtime." A gangly red beanpole of an imaginary friend answered as he sauntered in, taking care to duck in through the doorway. Seeing as how Wilt was still trying to catch his breath, it was quite clear that he had quite the time trying to keep pace with the extremely energetic child. Nevertheless, between gasps the good-natured figment still managed to greet politely, "Hey Frankie, hey Kathy."

"Playtime, huh?" Frankie giggled. "So what were you and Wilt up to today, huh?"

"Hide n' go seek!" Bridgett happily answered. "And I won, Wilt! Didn't I?"

"That she did." The ever-modest creature just affirmed, not one to add how he had obviously made some valiant effort. Judging by the dirt on his legs and the leaves sticking to him here and there, it appeared that he had attempted to hide in some bushes.

Frankie just tossed back her head and laughed. "You _always_ just have to let her be 'it', do you? Still having trouble saying the n-o word?"

This comment promptly earned her a fierce tousling, sending her scarlet locks slightly askew from her imaginary friend who countered with his trademark smile, "_You_ did the same thing when we played."

"Well it _is_ pretty easy to find you." Frankie admitted truthfully as she give one of his towering legs an affectionate pat. "C'mon, looks like someone could use a shower or something."

"Are you sure?" Wilt instinctively asked. "I'm sorry, but…well, if you're busy, then I don't want to trouble you by-"

"I'd like to think that I can handle looking after my own kid for a little bit." She chortled before giving him a light push towards the doorway. "C'mon, you do enough around here as it is. I think you deserve at least a little break."

"Well…if you say so…." He finally acquiesced. "See you guys later.

With this he exited the room, though not before reaching over to allow Bridgett to bid him goodbye by hugging his good arm, giving the figment no choice but to break out into his trademark smile before he exited the room.

"Bye, Wilt!" she squeaked as her mother carried her over to the disaster zone behind the desk.

"You want to help Mommy out for a little? Hmm?"

" 'Kay!" Bridgett happily complied as she was set back down upon the floor amidst the piles of clutter.

"Now, you go take this papers here and throw them into the garbage, all right?" Frankie requested as she gathered up a few handfuls of crumpled adoption forms. "I'm going to-"

"What's that?" she piped up the instant she spotted the large photo album lying not too far away. Once her attention was nabbed, she toddled over, sat down and curiously began flipping through it. Seeing that the child was effectively occupied for now, Frankie wordlessly smiled at her before going back to her hefty task at hand.

"What's that you got there, honey?" Kathy asked warmly as she knelt down next to the little girl.

"Pictures." Bridgett answered correctly as she looked through all the assorted photos.

"Oooh, looks like you got a lot here." The woman said as she leafed through the pages. "Look, see, there's your great-grandma....there's the rabbit....here's Ed...ha! Hey, do you know who these two are here?"

"Mommy!" the little girl replied happily once she recognized the lanky redhead in the photo. "And….uh…."

Bridgett squealed with laughter as Kathy tickled her belly a little without warning with a mischievous giggle. "That's _you_, you little nut! See? You're just an itty-bitty baby in this picture. Heehee! I remember this….see, this was the party we all had after you were born."

"Really?" the child asked excitedly. "For me?"

"Yup. It was just after you and your mommy got back from the hospital, and-" Before Kathy could elaborate, the child suddenly began speedily flipping through the album as fast she could.

"Whoa! What're you doing?"

"Lookin' for Mac's!" she answered with a grin.

Kathy raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"Mac's pictures!" Bridgett squeaked excitedly. "I wanna see pictures of the party for when Mac was-"

"What?" her godmother exclaimed curiously. "What are you talking about? Mac was-"

"Ahem." Frankie suddenly cleared her throat none-too-subtly.

Puzzled, Kathy only shot her friend an odd look before she tried to explain again, "Anyway…honey, what do you mean? You know Mac was-"

"A-_hem_." Frankie looked up and repeated herself, which of course only bewildered Kathy a little further.

"Uh…like I was saying, Ma-"

"A-_HEM_." The redheaded woman finally climbed to her feet and began gesturing curtly to her best friend.

Totaaly mystified at this point, Kathy just did as bid while Bridgett asked, "Mommy, where's-"

"Hold on a sec, Mommy's just needs to talk to your Aunt for a second about some grown-up stuff." Frankie replied gently before she and the other woman retreated to a far corner of the room.

"You got something caught in your throat, or something?" Kathy asked impatiently in a hushed tone. "Seriously Frankie, what's-"

"Bridgett doesn't know." The redhead said bluntly.

Despite Frankie's directness, Kathy was still utterly lost in a fog of confusion. "…Huh? Doesn't know what?"

"Bridgett doesn't _know_." Frankie only repeated herself firmly, and for a moment all she received was a blank stare of incomprehension until finally her friend caught on.

"Wait…._waaaait_ a second…you mean that she doesn't know Mac was adopted?" Kathy demanded as her eyes bulged in shock.

"_What_ did I just say?" came the exasperated reply.

"But…but…hold on, just hold on here…" Kathy begged as she struggled to wrap her mind around the situation. "I...I don't get it. You're seriously telling me that-"

"How many times am I going to have to repeat myself?" Frankie groaned before shooting an anxious glance towards her daughter to make sure she hadn't overheard.

Kathy meanwhile was thunderstruck; she honestly didn't know what to make of any of this surprising revelation. "….._Why_? Frankie, _what's_ going on? What's with all the secrecy about-"

"How would you feel if someone told _you_ that your big brother wasn't really part of your family?" Frankie asked, and then promptly realized the problem with what she had said. "Wait...hold on, I--"

"_Excuse_ me? In case you forget, Frances Bridgett Foster, you adopted Mac _precisely_ because you felt that he was just like family to you-" Kathy moved faster and pointed out the obvious error in her friend's reasoning.

"I know, I know, I _know_. I mean….look, I meant _Bridgett's_ point of view. For Pete's sake, she's only _four_ years old. Do you really expect _her_ to understand all of that? It's a bit complicated for someone her age, don't you think?"

"….Well….okay, you have a point." Kathy conceded. "Still though, are you really sure this is something you actually need to hide from her? I mean, would it _really_ be that bad if she found out? What's honestly the worst that could happen?"

"I don't know, and to be honest, I don't want to." Frankie declared firmly. "Chances are is that if she was told now, she probably wouldn't understand, and the results probably would _not_ be pretty. As far as Bridgett knows, I'm Mac's mother _just_ as much as I am hers-"

"Took you long enough to come to terms with that." Kathy couldn't help but point out snidely.

"Knock it off, all right? All I'm saying is that things are just fine as long as we're keeping everything as simple and uncomplicated as this, and I'm just fine with keeping it that way-"

"Huh? What do you mean? You're not going to find any baby pictures of Mac in there!" someone suddenly said rather loudly. Frankie promptly went silent in mid-sentence as she was promptly seized with alarm. As her expression contorted with horror, she and Kathy whirled around to affirm her terrible suspicion; there, by there doorway Bridgett stood, showing off the photo album to a certain azure blob of an imaginary friend who happened to be passing by at the worst possible time.

"Bloo, _no_!" Frankie yelped hoarsely in dismay. "Wait-"

"Can it wait a sec? I'm answering a question here! Sheesh!" Bloo replied as he waved her off with an exasperated sigh. "Okay, so….where was I? Oh, yeah! No way you're going to find any baby photos of Mac in there."

At that moment, Bridgett was the very embodiment of utter bafflement as she whimpered bewilderedly, "_Why_? How come-"

"What do you mean how come?" Bloo demanded as he rolled his eyes. "Are you kidding me? Mac was already eight years old when Frankie adopted him. How could she take any baby pictures? Go back in time? Well...maybe, if only she'd shell out the dough I need to finally make my time machine-"

"…'dopted?" Bridgett just repeated in a hoarse whine as her eyes widened in total confusion the likes of which she had never experienced before. "W-what-"

"Bridgett, wait! _Wait_!" Frankie yelped frantically as she dashed over.

"You know, adopted!" the little figment just went on casually, completely obvious to the distress he was causing her. "See, you know how here people come and adopt the imaginary friends here? Well, it was kinda like that. Mac didn't start living here until Frankie decided to adopt him so she could take care of him and stuff."

"Y-you…y'mean…h-he didn't…" the stunned little one stammered as she struggled in vain to wrap her mind around all of this. "M-Mac didn't always live here with-"

"Nope!" Bloo affirmed calmly. "Not until he was twice as old as you were."

The photo album tumbled from the child's grasp as she became absolutely dumbstruck, to Frankie's complete and utter panic as she reached them far too late. Desperate to avert a possible impending fiasco, the redhead swung into action. Hastily, she dropped to her knees alongside her daughter, and tried to muster up the sweetest, gentlest tone that she could.

"Bridgett? Sweetie?" she asked. Bridgett didn't answer; she just continued to stand there, totally frozen save her quivering lower lip.

"....Bridgett?" Frankie tried yet again, "You okay-"

She finally received her answer when the little one burst into tears. It was quite the spectacle to behold; in a heartbeat, she had gone from dead silent to wracked with sobs so strong her tiny frame shook under their force. While she wept freely, twin rivulets gushed down the sides of her face as the heartbreaking clamor filled the air.

"Whoa!" Bloo exclaimed in alarm as he backed off a few feet. "What's _your_ problem!"

Frankie meanwhile let loose with a hoarse cry of panic before instinctively scooping her daughter up into her arms. As she cuddled the child close, the woman tried to coo soothingly, "Shhh, it's all right, sweetie! It's all right! Shhh, don't cry!"

"It's gonna be okay, honey," Kathy hastily joined in. "It's gonna be-"

Unfortunately, their bombardment of reassurances had as much effect as bullets against a Kevlar vest, and if anything, Bridgett's weeping only seemed to intensify as she buried her face in her mother's shoulder and began to gradually soak it in the tears that continued to flow forth unchecked.

While she started to comfortingly bounce the little one in her arms, Frankie glared daggers at the blobbish perpetrator of their present crisis.

"_BLOO_!" she snarled like an enraged mother grizzly.

"What? _What_?" Bloo quickly countered with a barrage of whining. "What'd I do? What'd I do?"

"We'll give you one guess, Blooragard Einstein!" Kathy snapped as she pointed to the distraught child in Frankie's arms.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" the little figment demanded, while his bewildered expression indicated that he truthfully didn't realize what he had done. "Hey, I didn't do _anything_! I was only answering her question, and then next thing I know she starts totally freaking out like-"

"She didn't know I adopted Mac!" Frankie was all too ready to enlighten him with a growl before switching back to the role of reassuring parent for the sake of the little bundle of tears in her hold. "Shhhh, don't cry, sweetie, don't cry….shhh, it's okay…."

"Huh? She didn't know what?" Bloo replied confusedly. "Wait...why would you keep something like that from her?"

"….Are you _serious_?" Kathy groaned in disbelief once it became quite clear that for some inexplicable reason, the fact that Bridgett was now beyond inconsolable meant nothing to the imaginary friend. Rather than foolishly continue on with the so-far fruitless efforts with the exasperating figment, she re-focused efforts upon trying to calm the terribly upset child.

"What's wrong, honey-boo? Aww, why so frowny?" she tried to ask sweetly with a big, almost clownlike grin. To her discouragement, Bridgett didn't even seem to notice that she was speaking to her, and simply continued to sob almost hysterically.

"_Now_ do you see why I didn't want to let her know?" Frankie snapped at her.

"Oh, right, this is _really_ the time to cash in on your bragging rights!" Kathy just shot impatiently back as she started stroking the little one's head delicately. "Jeez! I've never seen her so upset before!"

"That makes _two_ of us!" the redheaded woman moaned miserably as she tried every trick she knew to try and placate the child. No matter how much she cooed, rocked, hugged, or whispered soft reassurances, Bridgett's sobbing didn't seem to lighten up on smidgen, making this an alarming first for Frankie.

"Yikes! Just look at those waterworks go!" Bloo exclaimed in amazement as the flood of tears continued gushing from Bridgett's emerald eyes.

"You're _not_ helping!" Frankie snapped as she whirled around and briskly walked off to try and put some space between her and the unfortunately aggravating little creature.

"Hey, I'm only saying!" Bloo said defensively as he followed. "Seriously, how much water can she have left in there? It's not like she's that big or-"

"Did we ask for your input?" Kathy hissed as she trailed along.

"Well, she's not!" he argued. "Look maybe, if you just wait a bit, she won't have anything left to cry out, and then you can just-"

"I'm really, _really_ sure Frankie just said you're not being the world's greatest help here!" Kathy growled as the redheaded woman headed into the foyer and towards the staircase, up in the direction of Bridgett's room.

"It's okay," she cooed softly all the while. "It's okay, nothing to be upset about. Mommy's gonna explain everything, all right? You don't-"

Before Frankie could ascend more than five steps, the front doors suddenly opened announced, followed by the entrance of two teenagers.

"Hey, I'm ho-" one of the teens, a chestnut-haired boy, promptly went silent in mid-sentence in total surprise the instant he took one glance at the curious scene before him.

He wasn't the only one who was dismayed; once she saw Mac, Frankie froze in horror as she struggled to fathom her unbelievably bad luck. "Oh, _no_…."

Hastily she raised a hand to shield Bridgett's view, but she was far too late. With a shrill, heartbreaking cry, the little girl somehow managed to start crying as she promptly started wriggling about like a child possessed, thus seemingly confirming Frankie's worst fears; she appeared to now be terrified of the boy who she now knew wasn't even related to her.

"Bridgett, no! No! Calm down! Calm down!" Frankie started shouting as she struggled to get a firm hold upon the now extremely squirmy little one. "It's okay, you just-"

"Omigosh! What's wrong? What happened? She okay? What? Is she hurt? Is she just super, super upset? Why's she so super, super upset?" Goo immediately erupted into an explosion of concerned babbling before dashing over. Before Frankie could even so much as move a muscle in reaction, the girl had plucked her daughter right out of her grasp.

"Goo, what're you-" the redhead demanded, but Goo didn't even appear to hear her as she started rocking the little one in her arms as she started cooing to the child in a fast-paced chatter.

"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry! It's gonna be okay, yup, it's gonna be just fine! You want a song? Hmm? That it? Is that gonna make you feel all better inside? Huh? How about a song? 'Rock a bye baby, on the treetop, when the wind blows the cradle will-"

"Goo, please!" Frankie, desperate to just get the hysterical child out of there, started to plead as she reached over to take her daughter back. "I can explain later, just-"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, _whoa_!" Goo yelped as Bridgett managed to wiggle loose with a sudden desperate burst of effort. The second she hit the floor, she immediately bolted off as fast as she possible could with a heartbreaking wail.

Needless to say, Frankie was just a tad aback when complete unlike what she was expecting, Bridgett actually made a beeline for Mac, latching onto one of his legs with a pitiful cry, "_DON'T MAKE HIM GO_!"

For a moment, everyone else went fell dead quiet as they all become stricken by surprise, flat out bafflement, or at least in Mac's case, a combination of both.

"…._Huh_?" the boy grunted bewilderedly as he reached down and gathered his little sister up into his arms. Quickly, she clasped onto him and held on tightly like a shipwreck survivor clinging desperately to a piece of driftwood.

"_What_ did you say?" Frankie asked as she rushed over.

"D-don't make h-h-him go, M-Mommy…" Bridgett managed to whimper piteously between sobs. "I-I _like_ h-having him as m-my b-brother…I don't w-want him t-t-to go…"

"Wait…" her mother struggled to piece everything together. "Wait….sweetie, you think that…hold on, do you think that because he...he was adopted...and isn't related to us-"

"So he's not allowed to be part of the family?" Kathy finished.

"I-I don't care…" the little one begged shamelessly. "D-don't make him g-go…please don't m-make Mac g-g-go, Mommy…"

At first, the flabbergasted redheaded woman could do little more than stare wordlessly in disbelief. However, only after a few moments of this she suddenly found herself slowly cracking a smile that threatened to spread across the entire width of her face. Only a four-year-old could manage to come to such a ridiculous conclusion.

As Kathy heaved a heavy sigh of relief, Frankie burst out chuckling once it became more than clear that there was nothing to worry about. Meanwhile, even more profoundly befuddled than ever, Mac just gawked confusedly at the still-weepy child in his hold before he gave his parent a pleading gaze. "…I missed something here, didn't I?"

"_You_ missed something here? Helloooo, not like everything's as clear to me as an invisible window someone just cleaned with a power washer!" Goo babbled as she waved her arms impatiently. "Could someone let us know what the heck in the whole wide world is going on here or something? Hmm? A little hint, maybe? Anything? Something? Please? Pretty please?"

"Someone's just a _teensy_ bit confused here, that's all." Frankie laughed as she tried to take Bridgett back into her arms for a comforting hug. Immediately the little one, whose crying had finally started to subside, merely tightened her already firm hold on Mac with an anxious whine.

"All right, all right." The woman quickly conceded with a giggle as she started stroking the little one's head.

While the combined efforts of her and Mac finally started to calm down the youngest member of their unusual little family, Kathy couldn't help but remark, "So…this is the disaster you were trying to avoid here? Nice call on that one; God forbid we actually get confirmation she loves her big brother."

"Okay, you know what? I _don't_ care about how much the rabbit says that I need to set an example for everyone, all right? You're _really_ just asking for a knuckle sandwich, got it?" Frankie threatened grumpily.

Her friend, cheeky to the end, just grinned foolishly. "If that's gonna be the case, just make sure you cut off the crusts first, okay?"

* * *

"…Thanks for having me stick around for dinner tonight." Kathy said sincerely as she embraced her friend upon the front porch of the towering Victorian mansion.

"It's not a problem, it's always nice to have you spend your day off here." Frankie replied, before adding jokingly, "Even if you are second only to Bloo when it comes to being a pain."

The other woman laughed as she pushed her friend playfully like a schoolchild. "Ha! Just you wait, I'll be tied with him one of these days."

"Ooooh, I can't wait for _that_ to happen." The redhead replied with a roll of her eyes as Kathy cupped her hands over her mouth and called into the house, "Bye Rudy!"

"I think he's probably helping Wilt out with the dishes in the kitchen." Frankie guessed when no reply came. Kathy shrugged.

"No big deal, not like we don't work at the social services office or anything. All right, I gotta get by rear out of here and back home. You take care, all right?"

"Bye Kath! See you around!" The redhead.

"Bye for now, Madam Foster!" her friend took care to cry out with a smirk right before she clambered into her car.

"You _know_ I hate that nickname!" Frankie tried to sound angry, but could only manage a laugh as her friend drove off. Chuckling, she exited into the house and promptly went to go check whether a certain four-year-old had fully recovered yet from her ordeal earlier that day.

"How's she doing?" Frankie asked as she entered the TV room, where four assorted occupants sat sprawled atop the sofa.

"Well I'm doing just fine dandy, thank you so very, very, very much for asking!" Goo snorted with laughter from where she sat resting her head against Mac's shoulder.

"Oh, very funny Miss Comedian." Frankie answered sarcastically as she checked her watch and observed how late it was. "So, are you spending tonight here, or what?"

"Well, it's Friday night. Maybe!" the girl sat up and shrugged with a carefree smile.

"You know, one of these days I should really just set aside one of the spare rooms for you." The woman replied with an irrepressible chuckle before kneeling down to check on the little one in Mac's arms. "So? How is she?"

"Looks like she's doing fine to me." Mac answered with a smile. Indeed, he seemed to be speaking nothing but the truth as Bridgett dozed, looking as totally relaxed and content as could be. In other words, her staus was a definite improvement from the wreck she had been hours before.

Frankie could feel her heart melt at the sight, and couldn't help but plant a tender kiss on the little one's cheek. "Poor little thing….can't believe I actually put her through what I did."

"Well, we _all_ thought it was a good idea." Mac reminded her. "Besides, it's not like we need to worry about it at all anymore. She's just fine, see?"

"Yeah, I guess." Frankie granted, though she still clearly felt a little guilty about what happened.

"Hey, at least she isn't freaked out by me or anything." The boy chortled, getting a smile out of his "mother."

"Well, now that I think about it, I guess I shouldn't have really worried about it to begin with. She is a Foster, after all; we keep our friends close, and whoever we say is family even closer." To prove her point, Frankie planted a kiss on the unsuspecting teen's forehead, to his dismay.

"Heehee! Momma's boy!" Bloo hooted with glee, as Goo burst out snickering ncontrollably. Mac meanwhile of course promptly burst out blushing furiously in embarrassment.

"Oh c'mon, let me grow up already, will you?" he begged with a groan. Frankie just giggled as she ruffled his hair affectionately.

"I'm not ready quite yet, pal." She giggled mischievously. "Now, I believe it's time for someone to finally get to bed. C'mon, sweetie, up we go….uh, Mac? Could you let go of Bridgett?"

"…But I'm not holding onto her." The bewildered boy protested. True to his word, he had released his grasp upon the little one as soon as Frankie had attempted to scoop her up into her arms.

It seemed that even while asleep, Bridgett didn't want to take any chances; despite everyone's attempts to explain everything to her earlier, she kept her little arms wrapped tightly around her big brother's neck, just to make sure he wasn't going anywhere.

Upon realizing this, Frankie took the next logical step and began trying to gingerly detach the four-year-old's grasp. No sooner had she began trying to remove her though when Bridgett, although still asleep, nevertheless just unconsciously tightened her hold with a whimper. Unwilling to awaken or upset her, her mother promptly backed off a little bit. Mac then made an attempt to remove Bridgett, and met with similar results, which of course dissuaded him from going any further as well.

"Uh…." Mac just grunted dumbly as together, he and Frankie just stared at the obstinate, yet cherubic little creature.

"So….now what are you guys gonna do now?" Goo inquired curiously from where she was intently watching the spectacle.

After putting every ounce of her mindpower into trying to figure out a solution, Frankie finally concluded that unfortunately, there was only one way to do this. She grimaced apologetically with a shrug. "Sorry, pal."

"Sorry? Sorry for-_hey_!" Before Mac knew it, in one swift movement, Mac had slipped her arms beneath him, and without too much trouble, hefted both him and the still-slumbering Bridgett clean off the couch together.

"Hey! _Hey_! Frankie, what are you doing?" he protested.

Frankie just tried to smile weakly as she awkwardly carried them out of the room and towards the main staircase in the foyer. "Hope you won't mind an eight o'clock bedtime tonight…"

**The End **


	28. Not What It Looks Like

Well....er, yes, I did say that I'm done with the series, but...then they showed the last five episodes of Foster's, and it put me in a bit of a fic-writing mood. At first I simply offered up on my profile to e-mail the three or four drabbles and random pieces that I wrote to anyone who wanted, but then I simply decided to go ahead and post them here for everyone to hopefully enjoy (ha, that is, if anyone's actually reading these stories anymore). Enjoy!

-Dude13

* * *

"What in the world?" the large imaginary rabbit murmured curiously to himself as his sizable ears picked up a faint, but clear racket emanating from downstairs. While in all fairness what he heard wasn't anything close to deafening, nevertheless, it _was_ only a little past one in the morning, according to what his bedside alarm had informed him before he had hopped off to a midnight bathroom break. Therefore, considering the late hour, the faint noises he heard were automatically an unnecessary clamor. In other words, someone was in need of a good scolding.

Mr. Herriman curled his lips into an irritated scowl as he promptly took off downstairs to investigate the matter. Once he was able to identity the sounds as merely the standard racket any functioning television would emit, the figment couldn't help but briefly clench his fists in severe annoyance and mutter something fierce under his breath. Good heavens, who would be so dastardly as to sneak downstairs to watch TV at this ungodly hour? He could've sworn that he had made it more than clear such ridiculous activities clearly weren't permitted. Maybe a few residents had commonly gotten away with such behavior while still living with their creators, but at Foster's, things were done quite differently. No one, absolutely no one was exempt from the House President's tireless efforts to ensure that everyone was supposed to receive a good night's rest, each and every evening,

The second he finished descending down the main stairway into the foyer, Mr. Herriman turned on a dime and hopped straight off to the TV room, ready to give his mysterious miscreants a stern rebuking for their childish nonsense. The second he passed through the doorway, the figment immediately barked harshly, "All right, just _what_ on earth do you think you're doing, you-"

As soon as he practically stormed in, a lanky redhead almost tumbled off her sofa seat with a hoarse yelp of surprise. Meanwhile, quite shocked to find exactly who was staying up so late of all people, Mr. Herriman cut himself off in mid-rebuke as he stumbled to an extremely ungraceful halt.

Before the rabbit could regain his composure, Frances "Frankie" Foster locked her emerald eyes upon him in a ferocious glare before baring her teeth and hissing indignantly, "_What_ are you _doing_?"

"I….I just….I was merely…." Her boss sputtered for a few moments before standing up straight, clearing his throat, and countering her tit-for-tat. "I distinctly heard a commotion from upstairs, and I was simply wanted to find just who was actually-"

"_What_?" the nightgown-garbed young woman snapped defensively. "But…but the volume's not even at half level! Look, Mr. H, not everyone can hear almost everything that goes on inside this house in the middle of the night as well as you! We don't all have ears the size of-"

"It hardly matters just how mild the clamor was, Miss Frances." He argued. "What doesn't change is the fact that you were still nevertheless making an unnecessary din in the middle of the evening…"

"Yeah, but-" she tried to speak up, to no avail at all.

"…When _you_ of all people know full well that everyone is supposed to be in bed and asleep! Miss Frances, really! How many times must I remind you how crucial it is for you to be setting an example for everyone else? While you are allowed to stay out late for your occasional get-togethers with your friends…"

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me…." Frankie groaned under her breath as he lectured he as if she was a mere teenager.

"….You otherwise are supposed to turn in every night at a reasonable hour, just like everyone else!" he lectured. "I mean, honestly, Miss Frances, do you think I'm trying to punish you? It's merely common knowledge that a good night's rest is absolutely necessary for…"

"Yeah, but it's just….uh-"

"…The greater good of one's health!" Mr. Herriman went on, as if she hadn't even uttered a peep. "Besides, don't you spend more than an excess amount of time needlessly complaining that you always have too many chores to do, but not enough rest? There's a word for that, Miss Frances; hypocrisy. Total and utter hypocrisy! Goodness, child, do you have anything at all to say in your own defense? I sincerely doubt it, for there's absolutely no reason for you to be awake at such an ho-"

"But _he's_ the only reason I'm up right now!" Frankie finally managed to successfully interrupt, catching the austere rabbit completely off guard.

"….Excuse me?" Mr. Herriman replied a few moments later. "Young lady, just who are you talking about? If you're going to try and cover yourself with poor excuses, at least put some effort into it! I'm no imbecile, for I can plainly see that you're down here by yourse-…."

The room was completely dark, save the dim glow of the television. Otherwise, chances are he would've spotted the little boy seated at the resident caretaker's side much sooner. Alas, it was only when Frankie started pointing to Mac did the House President realize that perhaps he had been a tad hasty with his earlier bombardment of accusations.

"I….I-I….wait, Miss Frances, why-" he tried to ask once the wind had been knocked out of his sails.

Frankie buried her face in one hand and groaned loudly in deep frustration. "Mac had a bad dream, all right? He was really upset, so we went downstairs to get a midnight snack and watch some TV so he could calm down, and-"

"Oh….well, I…I thought that-" the taken-aback imaginary friend stammered.

"So I guess that's to much to ask for, huh?" the redhead shot back sarcastically as she turned the tables and went headlong on the offensive. "Oh, God forbid we actually defy the word of the almighty House Rulebook! Well, so sorry for disturbing the peace! I guess Mac just better suck it up so I can put him straight to bed now, huh?"

"Now Miss Frances, I-"

"Don't worry, pal." Frankie continued the act as she wrapped her arms around the little boy, as if she was about to pick him up. "It's not being a neglectful parent, it's just I need to be a good little girl, just like the bunny wants! So what if I don't look after you? It's okay, because now maybe we'll get a gold star for good behavior!"

"Please, I….I didn't mean-" Mr. Herriman pleaded weakly.

"Oh, no, it's nothing, really!" she scowled. "Actually, I just wanted to thank you for reminding me how important it is every single rule comes first! Hey, do you remember that one about how our hours are only from nine to five o'clock, and then no kids or families are allowed in the house after that? Well, thank goodness I've now remembered that we didn't update _that_ rule at all specifically for Mac here! You want me to take him out to the unicorn stables, or would you rather I find a nice box for him to spend the night outside in? Hmmm?"

At this point, Mr. Herriman was blushing so furiously in his raging embarrassment, he was almost as scarlet as a cherry. Now that she was playing her parental duty trump card, there was absolutely nothing he could do or say to justify his earlier lecturing. Once he realized that it was better to make a dignified retreat rather than foolishly attempt to stand his ground, the imaginary friend smiled weakly, and murmured apologetically, "Er….nevermind, Miss Frances….as you were…"

With that, he promptly exited the room and headed straight back upstairs to his bedroom, leaving the young woman and her charge alone. Once she was sure that he was out of earshot, Frankie leaned back on the couch and let out a long sigh of deep relief. "_Whew_! He actually bought it…"

In her opinion, that was actually quite close. Thankfully, her dignity lay intact, for the rabbit had never noticed that the entire time, Mac had never uttered a single word….or that his droopy eyes had never opened more than halfway during the entire argument….or that he had been leaning against Frankie rather limply and sluggishly like a small sack of cement propped up against a wall.

After letting out with a gaping yawn, the child tried to look up into his guardian's eyes and grumbled, "So…just how long have _I_ been the one who had the bad dream?"

The wind suddenly sent a tree branch scrapping against a nearby window. After jerking a little in surprise, Frankie promptly scooped the child into her lap and clutched him tightly like a frightened child would squeeze a beloved stuffed animal.

"Hey," she countered sharply. "_You_ were the one who convinced me to watch that stupid zombie flick with you and the others in the first place…"

**The End **


	29. I Think You've Misunderstood

If life could honestly get any better than this, Frances "Frankie" Foster honestly didn't want to hear absolutely one word about it as she strolled up the walkway to Foster's front porch alongside the young man who seemed to be purposely trying to make her sides burst.

"…So of course then I have to tell my niece, 'don't worry. Look, I'll show you that it's a _friendly_ goose.' I then walk over to it, my hand full of feed, and…oh jeez, just my luck the petting zoo was absolutely packed that day, so literally a small crowd sees me get chased around by that stupid-" Before Rudy could continue on with his tale of humorous misfortune, his girlfriend held up a hand to motion for him to stop before she found herself unable to breathe.

"Haha….but….b-but why…." The redhead tried to ask between the fits of laughter that wracked her body and send her hoop earrings and bracelets jangling. "I mean, didn't you try and stand up for yourself?"

"Hey, _I_ wasn't the one being aggressive." The young man replied in his defense as he tried to suppress a smile, to no avail. Not only was the memory too ridiculous even for him, but Frankie's glee was proving to be infectious. "I didn't even get to give it some of the feed before it started pecking me right in the knees. Honestly, have you _ever_ had a goose honk at you? I mean, not just honk, but honk _angrily_? Trust me, when you're the one it's honking at, it's not very fun-"

"Heeheeheehee! Stop! Just…stop!" Frankie giggled madly like a schoolchild, and for a few moments, both dissolved helplessly into a nasty case of the snickers as they ascended the stairs to the front door of the towering Victorian mansion that the redhead called home.

"Are you okay?" Rudy laughed as the young woman continued shaking uncontrollably with mirth.

"Y-yeah….I'm fine….I'm fine…" she tittered, taking a few seconds to try and recompose herself. Once she was no longer a mess of mirth, Frankie looked into his soft brown eyes and smiled sweetly. "Thanks for another nice night."

Her simple but sincere words automatically sent the fellow blushing slightly as he sputtered, "Well, it….it was nothing really, I just….I just…uh…no problem…"

Frankie barely heard a word he said, for she was already ready to put the metaphorical icing on the cake and bring the evening to the much awaited perfect end. The redhead closed her emerald eyes, and slowly drew in close to the young man. Within a moment, the couple was locked in a tight embrace, and once his lips touched hers, Frankie felt as if she had been catapulted to Cloud Nine.

Not wanting the magical moment to end, the young woman hugged him tighter as she deepened the kiss. Now _this_ was the right way to end an evening. It was almost too wonderful to describe….it was just all so…

"_EWWWWWWWW_!"

Disgusting?

The instant the shrill squeal of revulsion mercilessly killed the moment, Frankie drew back with a hoarse cry of shock, while her boyfriend was so badly startled he nearly backed up right off the porch. As Frankie frantically began to try and grab a hold of her nerves, she affixed her gaze upon a certain azure blob standing in the front doorway, where apparently he had been watching them for the last few seconds unnoticed.

"_BLOO_!" the redhead instinctively howled ferociously at the little figment while her cheeks lit up with a deep red glow. "Just _WHAT_ do you think you're-"

"Just what the heck were _you_ doing?" Bloo pointed a stubby appendage accusingly and fiercely countered. "Gross! What was that?"

"I…I-I….uh….." Rudy immediately started jabbering foolishly as he tried to compose himself. "We were…er…only-"

"What do you _think_?" Frankie stomped a foot so hard she almost drove one of her high heels straight through the wooden planks. "You _knew_ that I had a date tonight, and-"

"And just look at you!" Bloo clapped his blobbish "hands" to the sides of his face in total appall. "I mean….you were….y-you were actually….it's like….oh man, I don't believe it, but-"

"What? What? _What_?" Frankie hissed as she glared daggers at the imaginary friend with no sense of personal privacy. "Just what-"

"_YOU WERE ACTUALLY EATING EACH OTHER'S FACES_!" Bloo inadvertently howled in indescribable disgust. Instantaneously, Frankie went utterly slack-jawed, and for a few seconds could only stare wordlessly at the little creature with mouth dangling agape.

"…Say that again?" Rudy managed to ask softly as he shot the imaginary friend a puzzled look.

"What else is there to say?" Bloo answered as eyed the couple warily. "You were trying to eat each other's face! How else can I say it? I mean….oh, jeez, _what_ the heck were you two even _doing_? What, is _that_ supposed to be love, or did you just not eat enough at dinner? I mean, whatever that was, I seriously thought I was gonna bar-"

"Bloo, no! You don't understand, we were just-" Before Frankie could utter another word, she heard the distinct clamor of a small group rushing across the foyer floor, to her ultimate dismay.

"What's wrong? What happened? Is everything okay?" a towering crimson figment asked breathlessly as he poked his head out the front door. "I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner! Sorry! It's just that we were in the TV room, and-"

"They were trying to eat each other's faces! They were trying to eat each other's faces, I _saw_ it!" Bloo repeated as he waved his little arms in alarm. Frankie meanwhile just froze in complete horror as she could feel her heart plummet into the pit of her stomach in despair.

"Oh…._no_…" she whimpered softly as her emerald eyes nearly bugged out to twice their size.

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Wilt cried. "I…wait, wait, I'm sorry, but what do you mean-"

"What do you _think_?" Bloo shot back. "I just caught these two trying to chow down on the other at the same time! It was like-"

"_What_?" a gruff bellow rang out in alarm. For a second, the porch seemed to be engulfed by a small earthquake as a bullish behemoth stomped outside, and in a flash Rudy found his line of sight almost totally blocked by a sea of purple fur.

"What you think you doing trying to eat our Senorita Frankie?" Eduardo roared protectively. "You terrible nasty man! Don't you know she no snack for you to-"

"_AUGH_!" Rudy wailed in terror as her cowered before the hulking figment. "Ed, please, I can explain! I-I can explain! Just-"

"We can _both_ explain!" Frankie yelped frantically as she jumped in between the two. "Ed, it's okay! It was nothing bad, honest! Bloo just walked in on us ki-_WHOA_!"

"It okay, Senorita Frankie! I no let him harm you!" Eduardo announced before scooping her up into his massive arms as if she were no more than a mere baby. As he stepped back a few feet, the redhead's unfortunate boyfriend suddenly found himself confronted by an angry combination of bird, flora, and airplane.

"Coco! Cococococo! Coco co! Co Cococo! Coco co!" Coco scolded him mercilessly as she flapped her stubby wings for emphasis.

Wracked with fright at this point, Rudy cringed and whined, "C'mon, you know I still can't understand you! Please, could…c-could someone just let me explain…or at least translate for C-"

"What's to explain, you weirdo?" Bloo interjected. "I caught you red-handed! You were eating each other's faces, and don't act like you were forced to or anything! I saw it all, you were actually _enjoying_ it! _Both_ of you!"

"Oh…my God…." Frankie moaned in unspeakable dismay as Ed froze the second he heard this new revelation.

"…Both?" he whimpered as his voice shot up several octaves in fright. Suddenly, moving faster than the eye could follow, the massive imaginary friend promptly discarded Frankie and stampeded off with a cry of terror.

"_OW_! Oh for the love of…" she exclaimed as Eduardo took cover behind Wilt and without wasting a second, promptly started blubbering in blind terror.

"_No_! Senor Wilt, I no want my face get eaten! I _like_ having my face! I _like_ having it!" he cried, as Wilt, now more confused than ever, just bemusedly patted the quivering figment on the shoulder.

"Uh….it's okay Ed….it's okay…" he murmured comfortingly before asking aloud, "I'm sorry, but…um…could someone please tell me what-"

"I already told you, these two creeps were-" Bloo was all too willing to explain again.

"If you would only give me just ten seconds to explain, then-" Frankie tried to interrupt before an all-too-familiar voice cut through the chaos like a knife through butter.

"My word! _What_ on earth is that most dreadful racket?"

"_AUGH_! Are you _kidding_ me?" Frankie instinctively yelped, and in an instant the panic was surging through her with the force of a tidal wave. "No! No! No! No, no, no, no! _NO_!"

"Yelling won't get you anywhere!" Bloo interjected. "We're not going anywhere until you tell us why you were-"

"Please!" Frankie just started babbling desperately. "Everyone, just…just go back inside! Please, I'll explain everything later, I promise! Just…just go away, before-"

As soon as she saw Rudy go as pale as a sheet out of the corner of her eye, the young woman knew her frantic efforts were all for naught. There in the doorway stood a large imaginary rabbit, who seemed more than prepared to dish out a heaping serving of punishment for those miscreants who were blatantly disturbing the peace and order he so craved.

"What is the meaning of all of this?" Mr. Herriman demanded sternly. "Good heavens! Here I am, attempting to tend to my paperwork when suddenly it sounded as if a pack of uncouth barbarians had decided to make themselves at home our front door! Now, will someone _please_ inform me why you're all shouting and making such a din like a mere pack of-"

"Frankie and Rudy were trying to eat each other's faces!" Bloo yelled before Frankie could get in a single word.

"_EXCUSE ME_?" the horrified rabbit cried out, unable to believe his own large, floppy ears. As he just stared at her blankly in total shock for a few moments, Frankie quickly tried to take advantage of his silence to frantically try and defend herself.

"No! No, no, no! Mr. H, there's been a _huge_ misunderstanding here! Nothing happened, it's just that Bloo saw us k-_OW_! Hey! _Hey_!" the resident caretaker squealed in discomfort as without warning Mr. Herriman hopped over, nabbed her firmly by the earlobe, and unceremoniously dragged her into the center of the tiny crowd like she was a naughty child.

"Miss Frances Bridgett Foster, in the name of _all_ that is civilized, just _what_ do you have to say for yourself?" Mr. Herriman scolded soundly.

"I-" she attempted to speak up before he swiftly launched into one of his infamous lectures.

"Don't act like I don't know what's going on here! Trust me, I _do_! I'm no imbecile! Young lady, it is high time that I make something perfectly clear; just because some silly new fad is grabbing everyone's attention doesn't mean it's perfectly all right for you to join in like some mindless…"

"_What_? No, it's just-" she tried to interrupt. Once it soon became apparent that he wasn't listening to her one bit, the young woman sighed and only started muttering over and over to herself in utter despair, "This is not happening…this is not happening….this is _not_ happening…this is not…"

"….Wait, silly? No, I take that back." Mr. Herriman's went on with his tirade. "It's absolutely _disgusting_, that's what it is! While I'm obviously aware you weren't trying to cannibalize one another, _how_ on earth could you be so daft as to think of _that_ as a legitimate, respectable way for a couple to behave? What were you doing, exactly? Nibbling on each other's cheeks? Chewing on chins?"

She didn't even utter so much as a peep to herself under her breath. At this point, Frankie's embarrassment had reach such great heights, she was struck speechless, andshe merely stood there, with her face glowing as scarlet as a ripe cherry.

"…I mean, my word! You _do_ realize that whenever you leave the house, you're representing Foster's, correct? Miss Frances, I swear, you should be mature enough now to realize that peer pressure is-"

"We….but we were only-" Rudy tried to forget about the fright that was consuming him, and attempted to speak up bravely, if not at all successfully. In a flash, the rabbit had hopped over and was now confronting the hapless young man.

"And _you_, Master Rudy! Don't think that you're free of blame here! Far from it, I would say, actually!" the figment thundered.

"But…but…" the young fellow babbled dumbly as the scolding brought on another wave of panic for him.

"I don't care if Miss Frances was the one who started putting you up to this, that is _no_ excuse whatsoever! You should have the good sense to know that such sheer ridiculousness is purely nothing more than…."

Momentarily out of the center of attention, Frankie just stood as still as a statue on the porch, starring out blankly into nothingness as she continued blushing so badly, it had become difficult to tell where her crimson hair ended and her skin began. This had gone from bad to worse, and that wasn't even the half of it.

What _especially_ wasn't helping was the fact that the more commotion that was made, the more curious resident friends showed up to see what was going on for themselves. Now, nearly a dozen of them stood assembled in the front doorway or on the porch to watch her get yelled at like she was a mere misbehaving child all over again. It was just all so much to bear that Frankie had practically fallen deep into a mortified stupor, and for what felt like an eternity, all that she was aware of was the overwhelming urge to perish of embarrassment right there on the spot.

Suddenly, a gentle dug on her back strapless dress managed to snap her out of it. Dumbly, she looked down to meet the gaze of a very concerned-looking little boy, who apparently was fresh on the scene.

"Um…what's going on?" Mac whimpered concernedly to his guardian. "Is everything okay?"

Well, at least someone way up in the heavens seemed to like her. In an instant she was down on one knee and questioning her unusually mature and reasonable charge. "Mac….if Bloo says that he saw Rudy and me 'eating each others' faces'….what do _you_ think we were actually doing?"

"…_What_?" the befuddled little one exclaimed as he gave her a very puzzled look.

"This isn't a hard question!" she groaned. "Pal, come on, just tell me; if Bloo said he saw…what I just told you, then what would _you_ say was really happening?"

"Uh…I…uh…" taken aback by the peculiar question, Mac stammered a bit before finally answering truthfully "…Um…just…I don't know....kissing, probably? Why are you-"

"_YES_! Finally, _someone_ gets it!" Frankie yelled in relief. Before the startled little boy could move a muscle, Frankie had scooped him up into her arms while all other eyes went straight back to her.

"Miss Frances, what are you-" Mr. Herriman turned around and tried to ask before Mac was nearly shoved right into his face.

"Tell him!" Foster's resident caretaker urged with a growl. "Tell him, Mac! Tell the rabbit what Bloo really caught me doing right now!"

"Uh…kissing, I think….only kissing…." The horribly bemused child obediently did as asked.

"Master Mac, what do you mean they they….oh…_ohhhh_….wait a moment…" Mr. Herriman paused to mull other this latest development. After thinking over this second opinion, his face slowly began to distort with dismay once he realized that maybe, just maybe, he had been a tad too hasty to judge and possibly didn't initially give the resident caretaker much credit. "Oh…well, that…actually….that would _certainly_ make much more sense to say that-"

"Nuh-uh!" Bloo protested shrilly. "You call _that_ kissing? That was like, the weirdest, grossest thing I've ever seen, _ever_! You were-"

"Oh just grow up, will you?" Frankie snapped ferociously before facing the small crowd. "Okay, so we got a little bit too into it! I know, I know! But that's _it_! Nothing more! That's _all_ we were doing! Kissing! K-I-S-S-I-N-G? Is that seriously so much of a crime?"

"Not what you're trying to-_OW_!" Bloo yelped as without even looking, she prodded him sharply in the shoulder with a high heel.

"_Mac_ knew what really happened , see?" she raised her charge into the air for all to see. "He just got here, but Mac only got it in like, a second! But all of you people, you _actually_ had to believe _Bloo_ on this, didn't you? _Didn't_ you? Now why would _anyone_ seriously take his word _ever_? I'm telling you, we only went a _little_ overboard with one kiss! Okay?"

"I…oh, dear…" Mr. Herriman murmured while trying to recover from the realization that he had been very much wrong about quite literally everything. "I…I guess we-"

"I mean, seriously, _what_ the heck just happened?Will _someone_ please tell me why my nine-year-old is the _only_ one who actually understood what was going on, and _no_ one else?" the heinously frustrated redhead tossed her head and cried out to the high heavens. "_Anyone_?"

As she took a minute to recover from her rant, the rest of the assembled crowd had gone dead quiet, and for several moments, a long, awkward silence settled upon them all. Suddenly though, without warning, someone whooped encouragingly from the back of the pack of house residents, "That's the way to tell them, dearie! There's absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of passion to spice up a smooch from your sweetheart, right?"

Her eyes promptly almost bulged right out of their sockets in disbelief. It was honestly hard to tell what was worse; the mortifying fact that her grandmother was amongst all the witnesses to her humiliation, or that sweet, lovable Madame Foster had told her it was all right to get passionate during a kiss in front of everyone. Either way, Frankie's embarrassment managed to skyrocket even further into the stratosphere, as indicated by the fact that her face was now almost redder than her hair.

"….Grandma?" the redhead managed to moan miserably.

"Yes?" the little old woman answered warmly as she hobbled forward. "What-"

"You're _not_ helping!" Frankie yelled before wailing to no one in particular, "Seriously, why _me_?"

Without another word, the mortified young woman tucked Mac under her arm and began to vacate the scene with what miniscule scrap of dignity she had left.

"Miss Frances, I-I think that-" Before Mr. Herriman could finish, she furiously snatched his top hat from off his head and with an angry grunt, hurled it off the porch and into the night.

"Oh my!" he exclaimed as he hopped off in pursuit as Frankie, still as scarlet as could be and snarling like an enraged cougar, stormed off into the house.

Once she vanished from sight, again everyone standing on the front porch descended into a long, hideously awkward silence, and remained so until Wilt concernedly asked out loud to the other victim of the terrible misunderstanding, "Uh, Rudy? Are you okay?"

Still quite pale and shaken from the nasty experience, the young man managed to stammer, "H-have…have you guys ever b-been so freaked out b-by anything, you can barely move at all for a little bit?"

"Um….I'm sorry, but...I don't think so…." The gangly imaginary friend replied truthfully as he sauntered over to the poor, trembling fellow.

"Oh….well, anyway…t-tell Frankie I…that I said goodnight…and, um….can someone carry me back to my car so I can wait this out?"

* * *

"Miss Frances? Miss Frances!"

"Dearie, please, come on out, it's all right!"

"Frankie? Frankie, are you okay? I'm really, really sorry if you're not, but still, if it's okay, we'd like you to come out….or can we come in, at least? It that okay? I'm sorry if it's not!"

"Miss Frances, _please_! I know you're upset, but there's no need to be so childish as to-"

"Funny Bunny, of _course_ she's upset! Now there's no need to sound so harsh when-"

"Well, I was _only_ trying to-"

The resident caretaker's grandmother, boss, and imaginary friend continued to knock on Frankie's bedroom door and attempt to coax her out until they were interrupted by a meek inquiry.

"Um….excuse me?" Mac asked softly as he peeked out from his bedroom across the hallway.

"Oh, I'm sorry! Were we bugging you with all the noise?" Wilt instinctively apologized.

"Master Mac, _please_! We're trying to-" Mr. Herriman meanwhile tried to lightly rebuke the child when the little boy interrupted again.

"I know, but….it's just, Frankie told me she didn't want to be bugged by anyone before she went into her room, and-" Mac attempted to explain.

"Well, fat chance about _that_! You can't fix a problem by just stewing all by yourself!" Madame Foster countered before she began rapping at Frankie's bedroom door with her cane again and calling in a softer tone, "Dearie? Dearie please! At least let your grandmother in, won't you?"

As the others followed her example and continued on with their their efforts, Mac , having done his part, quickly retreated back into his room. Once he was sure his bedroom door was locked shut, the child trotted over to his own bed, which was currently occupied.

"...Do they still think I'm in there?" Frankie murmured from where say lay curled up on her side, face buried in her hands.

"Yeah." Mac replied.

"Good." She grunted, and awkward silence promptly cloaked the two until the boy worked up the courage to inquire with an anxious grimace,

"…Are you okay?"

"If by okay, you mean 'Am I ready to crawl into a hole and just die of embarrassment yet?' In that case, pal, my answer is a big fat yes."

"Oh c'mon, don't say that-" he tried to calm her.

"Well, what would you like me to say, bucko? That I'm just fine and dandy and ready to go out for a skip in the park?" she rolled onto her back and whined miserably. "You saw what happened just now! I try for one kiss…_one_ kiss, just one measly little kiss! Then just like that, the whole night goes downhill! Oh, like heaven forbid I get to have a date that ends normally!"

With this, she let out a long agonized groan of indescribable frustration. Unsure of what to do, Mac just fidgeted nervously by the bedside and patted one of her hands in what he hoped was a comforting manner. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he took a deep breath and asked gently, "Is…is there anything I can do?"

"No, no..." she sighed as she grabbed a pillow and covered her face. However, that was before she suddenly was blessed with an idea from clear out of the blue. In a flash, she had tossed the pillow aside and was hurriedly adding, "Not _yet_, at least…"

* * *

"….Oh, _will_ you just relax?" the lanky redhead asked for what felt like the hundredth time as Rudy started nervously drumming the steering wheel with his fingers yet again.

"I'm trying, I'm trying." He replied worriedly while pulling up next to the curb in front of the towering Victorian mansion. "It's just that…y'know…"

Frankie rolled her eyes as he turned off the ignition. "I told you, there's nothing to worry about this time, okay?"

"Well…I mean, look we don't know for sure that-" the over-cautious young man quickly realized he was talking to an empty passenger seat. Frankie was already out of the car, motioning in a no-nonsense manner that he was to do exactly the same, as routine dictated. After gulping nervously and taking a few deep breaths, he slightly shakily clambered out and plodded over to her. Without a word, Frankie took his hand and together they began strolling up the sidewalk, though it honestly felt more like a parent leading a frightened child than two young adults returning from a dinner date.

Once they were standing upon the front porch, the young man stammered, "Well…we're here….so…I guess-"

"Well?" Frankie demanded expectantly, making it clear she would not let the trauma of last week's unfortunate experience impede her in any way.

"Well, what?" he replied, despite the fact he knew exactly what she was talking about. At first, she felt the impulse to strike back with a snappy reminder, but quickly got a hold of herself. After all, it wasn't as if she could blame him at all for being such an anxious mess. With a sigh, Frankie softened her expression and instead opted to compromise.

"Okay, how about this; nothing big, just a _little_ peck on the cheek." She offered, then asked sweetly with a hopeful smile, "Please?"

As she turned her head a little, Rudy took a few deep breaths, leaned in, shut his eyes….and didn't open them again until he heard her say, "See? Was _that_ so bad?"

Genuinely surprised, he looked around a few times just to make sure. His senses didn't lie, their privacy remained just as untouched and unspoiled by any intruder as it had been only a feew seconds earlier. Immediately he was awash with relief and gasped loudly, "_Whew_! I…oh, I'm sorry, it's…it's just that after…"

"Not like I wasn't there." Frankie laughed as she gave him a quick hug. "Call me tomorrow?"

"Of course." He said with a weak chuckle as he happily returned the embrace. "No problem. G'night, Frankie."

"Good night!" With this, Frankie smiled sweetly, then slipped off inside. However, as soon as she shut the door, the young woman finally stopped hiding the anxiety that had been weighing heavily upon her own shoulders for the last five minutes or so, and gasped audibly in heartfelt relief.

"Frankie? Is that you?" someone called from upstairs. Immediately, she broke out grinning again from ear to ear, and despite the fact she was in heels, she excitedly trotted off in the direction of the familiar voice. There, on the first floor landing she caught by surprise a certain little boy who had been dashing down to the foyer to meet her.

"_Whoa_!" Mac yelped as Frankie swept him up into a tight appreciative hug the instant he came within arm's length.

"Ha! _Knew_ I could trust you." She triumphantly laughed .

As his cheeks went a little flush while she affectionately nuzzled him, her charge replied modestly, "Well, you were the one who called before you left the-"

"Yeah, but _you_ did all the rest." She was swift to remind. "So, how'd you do it?"

Once she put him down, Mac led her down the nearest hallway to the laundry room, where everything was as it should be. That is, except the azure figment sitting beneath an upturned laundry basket that was weighed down by quite a few heavy encyclopedia volumes fetched from the downstairs library.

"How? How _could_ you?" Bloo howled indignantly from inside his makeshift prison. "Mac, _how_? That is _low_! That is-"

"Oh c'mon, you're the one who can't stop barging in on other people when you're not supposed to." Mac countered unsympathetically as he reached up so as to began removing the encyclopedias. "Anyway, you can't ruin anything tonight anymore, so now we can-_hey_!"

Without warning, Frankie scooped him up and tucked him under her arm, to his puzzlement. "Hey, what are you-"

"Mac, can you tell me how long I hid out in your room last Friday?" his guardian interrupted and asked politely.

"Uh….about …two hours maybe?" the child answered.

"So, seeing how it's about nine o'clock…" Frankie giggled as she checked Mac's wristwatch. She then simply gave their blobbish little captive a little wave and flashed him a smile. "Bye-bye! See you at eleven!"

"_What_?" Bloo squealed shrilly in alarm.

"Yeah, payback's not too much fun, isn't it?" she only chuckled joyously as she carried Mac out of the room. "C'mon pal, let's see what's on TV.""

"Wait, no! You can't do that! You can't _do_ that! Think you can eat faces, then get away with _this_? Nuh-uh! Unfair! Unfair!! Hey! _HEY_! Aw, Mac, you can't let her get away with this! Mac! _Mac_!"

His sensible creator, rather than actually stand up for him, simply looked back and just shrugged. Frankie meanwhile tossed back her head and snorted with laughter before vanishing from sight. "Ha! Now _this_ is the right way to end an evening…."

**The End **


	30. Setting Things Straight, Sort Of

"….Hold on, just gimme a sec." the lanky redhead requested as she dragged out a small lockbox after fumbling about the dark, dusty depths underneath her bed.

"I told you, I just got off work." The young woman leaning in the bedroom doorway of Frances "Frankie" Foster replied. "Not like I'm in a huge rush to get anywhere."

"Right, right." Frankie murmured as she opened the box and began leafing through the assorted forms and documentation inside. "Okay, let's see here…my passport….birth certificate ….hold on, I _know_ it's here somewhere…aha! Mac's adoption certificate, got it!"

Once she had the correct document in hand, she clambered back to her feet and handed it over to her friend, whom she flashed an exasperated grimace. "Seriously, do we really have to do this _again_?"

"Hey, in case you forgot, officially I'm _still_ your social worker in case anything goes wrong." Kathy reminded as she tucked it securely away into a beige file folder in her arms. "Meaning I have to have all the right documentation if I ever need it."

"How many times have I heard that before?" the redhead rolled her eyes.

"Oh, like I'm feeling like a total genius for losing yet another photocopy." Kathy said sarcastically. "But I swear, this time, I'll make several copies so we-"

"Look, don't worry about it." Frankie brushed the matter aside with a weak grin. "Sorry, I shouldn't get all worked up about this, it's just-"

"One of _those_ days at the house, I take it?"

"Tell me about it! Today, the rabbit just won't…look, never mind, it's just the usual, really. Just try and return the certificate as soon as you can, okay? Sorry, it's just I got kind of anxious when I don't have it. I mean, I seriously don't even want to think about how many times I've had to shove that in someone's face to prove that -"

"No need to get all antsy about it, Mama Foster." Kathy reassured with a chuckle. "While my track record on keeping the copies is pretty much garbage, I've yet to lose the original-"

Their conversation was suddenly interrupted when Foster's resident caretaker abruptly rolled her eyes and emitted a loud groan of frustration, much to her friend's puzzlement. "What? What's wrong? Frankie, I told you I'd have the adoption certificate back as soon as I can, like _always_! Why are you-"

"Not _that_!" Frankie snapped as her mood rapidly soured. "You know exactly what you did-"

"What?" Kathy replied confusedly. "What do, you…wait…wait, are you getting all fussy because-"

"Yes! That whole 'Mama Foster' thing!" the caretaker clarified huffily, to which her friend moaned in annoyance.

"Oh, peachy, _here_ we go again."

"Here we go? You're the one who always calls me-" Frankie tried to accuse.

"Are you seriously going to try and pin the blame on me again? Nuh-uh! Frankie, It's not like I'm a fan of having this crazy arguments over and over! You're the one who _always_ has to freak out just because someone called you a M-O-M!"

"You _know_ I hate it when you call me that!" Frankie just reiterated. "You know I-"

"I only call you that because that's what you _are_." Kathy pointed out. "You're so definitely-"

"I'm Mac's big sister, and I'm raising him, _that's_ the fact of the matter!" Frankie tried to set the record straight as she got back upon her knees and shoved the lockbox underneath her bed. "Nothing to argue about, nothing complicated, just-"

"And his legal guardian, right?" Kathy added.

"Yeah, and-"

"And it's just _you_ looking after him as his legal guardian…or can we say in other words, his parent?" the young woman went on as she tried to unsuccessfully hide a mischievous smile.

"Well, yeah, I'm the only one looking after him, and….wait, wait!" Frankie yelped once she realized she was probably falling headlong into a trap. "No, I-"

"Nuh-uh, you _just_ said it!" Kathy pointed out triumphantly. "You just said it! You can't be both! It's only one or the other, and there's _no_ way you of all people can be just the 'big sister.' Ever since the little guy has started living here with you, you've been acting so much more and more like a mom, it's not even-"

"But-"

"Listen; you're the one who makes sure that Mac is fed, clean, clothed, goes to school and does well, _brags_ about how well he does in school, drops everything if he gets sick or hurt, gives him a good-night kiss when he goes to bed, a welcome-home hug when he gets back from school, has _way_ more pictures of him than necessary," Kathy pointed to one of the bedroom walls, which had gotten a tad cluttered with family photos over the past year, "Looks like all the classic signs of being a total mommy to me! Miss Foster, I present to you exhibits A-Z!"

"I…I just….no, it's just…" Frankie struggled defend herself, but all of a sudden it had become quite difficult to come up with even a decent response, and as a result all she could do was fidget with her ponytail and sputter, "I-"

"Oh yeah? What are _those_ on your sweater?" Kathy suddenly asked as she pointed to the redhead's trademark green jacket.

"Uh…" the caretaker grunted as she wracked her brain for an answer that wouldn't help her friend's argument. "It's-"

"Don't act like you don't know; you already told me earlier." Her friend reminded. "Now tell me again, what are those?"

Frankie blushed uncontrollably as she finally answered softly while pointing to the brightly colored ribbons pinned to her garment, "The school gives these awards out a few times a year….Mac got this one for good grades…a-and this one for behavior….and this one-"

"And _this_ is how a big sister acts?" Kathy snorted with laughter. "Frankie, whenever I got one of those, _my_ big sister would pretend to feed it to the dog! _You_, on the other hand, are showing those off like a-"

"Yeah, but….but….but it's just that…." The redhead continued to protest. "No, you…you see, it's just…"

"Jeez, still? Okay, that is it!" Kathy groaned as she took drastic measures.

"…No, see, it's just that-_WHOA_!" Frankie yelped as her best friend abruptly grabbed hold of her wrist and forcibly led her out of the bedroom. "Hey! _Hey_! Kathy, what're you-"

"Nuh-uh! No more confusing everybody by calling yourself one thing even though you act like something else! We're settling this now!" the jet-black-haired woman proclaimed.

"But how-"

"You're so shamelessly maternal around Mac and don't think twice about it. Yet the instant someone calls you the M-word, and suddenly you get all wound up like it's your business! _Why_?" Kathy demanded. "Seriously, is it because you think it's weird? Are you afraid other people are going to think that it's weird? Is that it?"

"I-" Frankie tried to answer as she was dragged up Lord only knew how many staircases.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm _through_ having this argument!" Kathy announced. "No more calling yourself every name in the book except what you really are! Now come on!"

Several flights of stairs later, Frankie suddenly found herself shoved outside into the open air and standing up on the top of the towering Victorian mansion.

"….Kathy?" she inquired gently. "Uh…..why are we-"

"Say it." Her friend released her hold and demanded flatly.

"…Um…..wait, _what_?" Frankie grunted bemusedly..

"Say it! Frankie, no more freaking out whenever someone drops an M-bomb on you. Time for you to just go and admit it, and time to let the world know that you admit it!"

For a few moments, Foster's resident caretaker just gawked silently at her friend as she stood totally stock-still, except her crimson hair, which fluttered a little in the delicate breeze. "….Are….are you _serious_? Wait, so I'm just supposed to-"

"Say it!" Kathy demanded impatiently. "Just go ahead and say it! That's probably the biggest problem here! You just can't admit that-"

"So….wait, you want me to say-"

"No, not just say it; scream it, shriek it, yell it, whatever! You choose, just _admit_ it, and for Pete's sake, let's see same genuine passion here! Trust me, sometimes just letting it out like this makes all the difference in the world, and-"

"Oh cripes, Kathy!" Frankie exclaimed. "I'm not-"

"Just _do_ it, okay? Please?" Kathy pleaded. "It's not like this is going to change anything. Everything will be just the same, except the fact that you'll have finally owned up to who-"

"But….oh, c'mon, I _don't_ want to-" the redhead continued to protest.

"_Please_? Frankie, seriously, how many people do you think will actually hear us from up here?"

Frankie at first just stared blankly at the other woman, and silently chewed on her lower lip. Whether it was because she was merely humoring her friend or because she thought that maybe Kathy actually had a good point, it was difficult to tell, but nevertheless, she finally opened her mouth and began to mutter hesitantly "I…I'm a-"

"Louder!" Kathy urged. "For Pete's sake, can we just finally get over this? Nothing's bad is going to happen if you admit it, I promise! Now just-"

"I'm a….I'm….I'm a mom?" Frankie said, still quite reluctantly, and hardly at a higher volume.

"C'mon, Frankie, I know for a fact that you can have the lungs of a wolf when you want to. Louder!"

"I'm a mom." Frankie repeated rather bemusedly, and hardly to her friend's liking.

"What did I say? C'mon, louder! Louder! What can _possibly_ go wrong? Nothing, that's what! Now let's go! Time to let the world that you know what you are, and you wouldn't have it any other way!"

"Okay, okay! I'm…I'm a mom!" the redhead shouted at her friend's incessant urging.

"Not good enough!" Kathy barked. "C'mon, you know what you do! Nothing to be afraid of!"

"I'm a mom! I'm a mom!" Frankie yelled louder. "I'm a mom! I'm a-"

"Whoa! Hold on, hold on! Wait, wait, wait! You're a _what_?!" someone suddenly replied from down below, their tone thick with indescribable confusion.

Immediately, Frankie fell as silent as a stump. "Letting the world know" wasn't exactly as superb as her friend had let on. In fact, now that she had realized someone had actually heard her, she had felt a bit more embarrassed than she would've expected….a _lot_ more, actually.

While her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates in dismay, Frankie dashed over to the railing, looked down, and immediately spotted the two children who apparently had just arrived fresh from a day of school. No sooner had Foster's resident caretaker made eye contact with them when one of the children, a pigtailed little girl, almost instantly began bouncing up and down as she shouted up a storm.

"Frankie! Hey, Frankie! Frankie! Fraaaaaaaankieeeeeeeeeee!" Goo hollered. "What's going on? Huh? Whatcha talking about? Huh? What? What is it? Why are you being all loud and crazy and yelling like a big, loud ol' super-crazy….oh….omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! You mean that…wait, are you just trying to tell everybody everywhere all at once that you're really actually super-sure that you're totally-"

"What?" Frankie shouted back down. "What are you talking about-"

"-_PREGNANT_?" Goo shouted, upping her volume for added emphasis.

"…._WHAT_?" the absolutely mortified redhead shrieked in disbelief.

"Wait, _what_?" Mac finally spoke as he gawked in shock at his friend. "Goo, what-"

"Yeah! Yeah, that could be it!" the child started explaining excitedly. "See, Frankie was yelling and yelling and yelling about being a mom and stuff like that, which soons super-duper-mega crazy-loony at first, but really it's not if you think about it, at least it's not for me because I remember when my aunt learned she was pregnant, and she called our house and she was all screaming and stuff, like 'I'm gonna be a mom! I'm gonna be a mom! I'm gonna be a mom!' And she just went on and on and on like that, and now we see Frankie shouting and hollering about how-"

"Are…are you serious? Are you _serious_?" Frankie screeched in alarm. It was seriously very hard to tell what was worse; the fact that the little girl was jumping to such conclusions, or that while explaining it to Mac, she was talking almost just as loudly as she had when shouting to the redhead just a minute ago, and thus still keeping the chances quite high that someone else might hear them.

"Oh….my God…." Kathy could only whisper as her attempt to accomplish what she thought was the right thing quickly turned into a monster well beyond her control.

"Goo, no! _No_!" Foster's resident caretaker began barking sternly. "Stoppit! Stop that right now! I'm not-"

"Wait, wait, Frankie, so what's going on again?" the little one shouted curiously. "I mean, why all the talk about being a mommy and stuff? Are you doing it because, like, you're gonna have a baby? Is it because you're going to have a baby, Frankie? Frankie Foster, are you having a baby?" Goo nearly shouted so loud it felt like she was dangerously close to setting off nearby car alarms, to the mortified redhead's horror.

"No! She's not!" Mac snapped, quickly stepping into his traditional role as the level-headed voice of reason. However, his guardian's relief was woefully short-lived when he suddenly looked up and called out worriedly, "I mean….you're not, right?"

"Yes, I-" Frankie hastily tried to shout out a reassurance before she was cut off.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaaaaa!" Goo squealed shrilly. "Hold on, hold on! So yes, you _are_ gonna be a mommy just like my aunt's gonna be when-"

"_AUGH_!" the young woman wailed in frustration. "I meant 'yes, I'm _not_ pregnant!' Okay?"

"Wait, Frankie! Frankie! So….you're not going to have-"

"Goo, please, just….just _stop_ shouting about that!" the panicked caretaker pleaded desperately, afraid that some other Foster's residents would hear them. "All right? Just stop-"

"Stop shouting? But why? When we got here, you were all shouting like-"

"I _know_ what I was doing!" Frankie admitted unhappily as she wracked her brain for an excuse. "I was…I was just…just….I was only doing that because…."

"Frankie? Are you sure everything's okay?" Mac called out concernedly.

"Yes, everything's fine!" Frankie's voice cracked a little in her panic, to her utter dismay. As she struggled to create an illusion of calmness, she finally yelled out, "Look, how about we…uh…h-how about Kathy and I meet you downstairs so we…so we, um….don't….don't shout ourselves hoarse, all right?"

"Okay!" Goo chirped, and obediently the children did as bid, to Frankie's indescribable relief. As her cheeks glowed as red as twin beetroots in her embarrassment, she whirled around to her friend, who cringed and whimpered guiltily,

"Okay…look, this all made so much sense in my head, and-_ACCCKK_! Hey, easy! Easy! Frankie, c'mon!"

"Oh, knock it off!" Frankie growled sourly as she nabbed Kathy by the shirt collar and forcibly dragged her back inside.

For the first time as long as she could remember, the caretaker was quite thankful that her grandmother's house had more flights of stairs than she could almost count, giving her all the time she needed to cook up a somewhat believable excuse. Thus, she was at least a little bit ready when together she and Kathy descended into the foyer to a barrage of questions, "So? So? Why were you yelling? Huh? Huh? Is it because-"

"You know how sometimes the rabbit can get on my nerves?" Frankie asked as quickly as she could to counter Goo's jabbering.

"….Huh?" The little girl replied, taken aback by the interruption to her stream of chatter. "Wait, what's that got to-"

"It's….uh…stress, yeah! Nothing but stress!" Frankie went on as she flashed what wa hopefully a convincing smile. "Every now and then, Mr. H just bugs me so much, I…I, uh….I get a lot of frustration pent up, so….so I just go up to the top of the house and just blow off some steam by yelling…y'know, totally _random_ things until I feel better….okay?"

"But…didn't you tell us that when you get upset, you like to go out for jogs and stuff?" Goo reminded.

"Yeah…." The terribly flustered redhead could only admit as she struggled for an excuse. "But…but-"

Seeing as how she was probably in trouble, Kathy figured that now was as good a time as any to start making up for her "great idea." Thinking quickly, she replied to Goo's inquiry, "But you know how busy Frankie gets, right? You know, cooking, cleaning, caring for the friends, that all makes her schedule pretty packed, right? So it's not like she has a lot of time to just go out for a run whenever she wants to. However, what hardly takes any time is going up to the roof and just yelling for a few minutes…right?"

After flashing what she prayed was a convincing grin, Goo finally seemed to buy into it with a fat smile of her own and a fit of the chuckles. "Oh….ohhhhh! Oh, okay! I get it! I get it! Ha, I totally get it! Yeah, I get it! Just wish you would have told us earlier or something instead of making us believe that you had turned into like, a crazy loonybird, because when you put it like that it actually makes a lot and lot of sense, because sometimes a good yell is all you need, and I know because my cousin told me that he likes to-"

"Well....you don't need to be confused anymore." Frankie found her voice again to try, and immediately went about trying to bring this all to a badly needed end. "So, now that's all cleared up, why don't you just go run off and find Bloo and the others like you always-"

" Okay!" Goo trilled happily, buying into the caretaker's fib. Needing no further bidding, she promptly scampered off. Once the little girl had dashed off out of earshot, Frankie heaved a heavy sigh of relief, shot her friend a fierce glower....and then froze for a moment in alarm once she saw that Mac was still right there with them.

"Uh…pal?" she inquired anxiously as the child's inquisitive stare made her stomach nervously tighten itself into a knot. "What…what are you still doing here? Don't you want-"

" Frankie? Are…you _sure_ that's what you were yelling about?" Mac quickly cut to the chase as he gave her a very puzzled look. The redhead grimaced in dismay. Usually, it was a blessing that her charge was so sharp….but not _all_ the time.

Taken totally off guard, his startled guardian at first just stammered dumbly in an attempt to reply, "Um....y-yeah, of course I….I mean, why would I be lying about….I mean, otherwise it'd be totally weird if I…uh…"

She didn't even have to look at her charge's blank stare to realize that she wasn't fooling anyone here. With a sigh of resignation Frankie said softly, "Pal?"

"Yeah?" the bemused little boy answered. For a while, she just looked down and wearily stared him straight in the eyes as for a moment she floundered in her own little sea of utter confusion.

"Just…just _what_ am I?" she finally implored in a whimper.

"Huh?" Mac grunted.

"Don't act like you don't know what we're talking about here…Mac, _what_ am I?" the redhead begged, making it quite clear that after everything, not even she was sure anymore. The boy looked as if he were about to give a speedy reply, but then suddenly shut his mouth as he gave the issue good, quick mulling over for almost a half minute.

"How…about we both just say we're family and not worry so much about the specifics?" Mac finally threw out as a possible compromise with a hopeful grin. At first, Frankie continued to just stare silently.

"Oh what the heck, I'll take it." She chuckled softly. "C'mere." She said with a weak but sincere smile as she bent over and extended her arms.

As the two embraced warmly, Kathy just gawked dumbly at the two, unable to believe her own eyes. Obviously she wasn't exactly satisfied at all by how this was ending, and a few seconds later was vocalizing her displeasure to anyone within earshot. "Wait, what? Oh, no…_no_ way, we're _not_ just gonna leave it at _that_ cheesy answer. Hey! Hey, are you listening? _Either_ of you? _Hey_! Hello? Okay, great, we get, whoop-dee-doo, strong family bond here, clearly. Now cut the corny business, because that _doesn't_ answer exactly what the heck you guys are-_OWWW_! Oh, son of a-"

Without even looking, Frankie raised one of her legs a little and lashed out behind her, striking her friend full-force upon the shin. After stumbling around, muttering sourly under her breath, Kathy hastily muttered through tightly gritted teeth, " I mean….yeah, that all sounds just …just fine with me…"

**The End **


	31. Lost in Translation

"…So, what'd you think about the history quiz today, huh? Hard? Easy? Super-difficult? A total breeze? Or, like, somewhere in between?" the little girl inquired curiously as she and her friend stepped through the large stone gateposts and began strolling up the front walk of the grand Victorian mansion.

"Well, I think-" Mac tried to reply before Goo interrupted with a flowing river of chatter, as she was so apt to do as she skipped bouncily by his side.

"For me, I think it was like, fifty-fifty actually, as in like part of it was so super-easy I couldn't believe it, but another part was so hard it was almost like, ridiculous, especially when we had to list all those Founding Father because sometimes it's just like, really really tough to remember them all, especially when they're not on a dollar bill or anything, because when they're on a dollar bill you see them like, all the time so it's almost like it's a good friend, but if it's someone not on any money, they're like a total stranger, and strangers are of course people you don't know, because that's what makes them strangers in the first place, and…"

Rather than attempt to get a word in, Mac wisely decided to let her just babble on as he ascended the steps of the front porch, opened the front doors and called out casually, "I'm ho-_WHOA_!"

"That's right," Mr. Herriman didn't even notice that he had almost bowled the little ones over as he hurriedly hopped by, talking on the phone in a tone dripping with urgency. "She's nearly six-feet tall, slim, green eyes, with bright red hair. I promise you, you and your men will know if you see her, and…uh, other distinguishing marks? Well, she has several ear piercings, and…I'm sorry, I don't know how many specifically, see, and… frankly I don't like looking at them, so…"

In a flash, the plainly panicked figment had bolted off into his office, taking care to shut the doors tightly behind him. Mac and Goo, meanwhile, just gave one another very dumbfounded looks as the quickly became bogged down in bewilderment.

"Huh….now just what the heck in the whole world was _that_ all about?" Goo squeaked, hr expression now stamped with confusion.

"I…I really don't know." Mac answered truthfully with an unnerved grimace. "But…look, I'm not sure, but it... it kinda sounded like he was talking about-_OOF_!"

Without warning, an azure missile rocketed into the foyer, and didn't come to a halt until it had latched upon the unsuspecting boy in a tight clasp with a hoarse cry of obvious dismay, "_Mac_! Mac, I…buddy, don't worry, it'll be okay! We're doing everything we can right now, so-"

"Hey! _Hey_!" Mac yelped as his imaginary friend started rapidly tightening his inexplicable comforting hug, to the discomfort of his ribcage. "Bloo, what're you-_OW_! Bloo, wait! Wait! Just…just calm down, what's-_OW_! Bloo, let go! Let go!"

"It's okay! It's okay!" the horrifically flustered blob just babbled on. "It'll be all right, don't worry! Everything will be back to normal, and soon we won't have to-"

"What? _What_ is going on?" Goo began demanded impatiently as the utter lack of details became far too much to handle. "What? What? What? What? We're asking and asking and asking and asking here, but you just keep on jabbering on and on and on and on and we don't have any idea what the heck in the world you're talking about, yet you still keep going on and on and on and on-"

Bloo's face fell and his eyes widened a little in shock. "You…you mean…no one's told you yet?"

"Told us _what_?" Mac asked as he broke free from the almost suffocating hold. "What is wrong with everyone? Why are you all-"

"She…left us, Mac!" the little figment whimpered. "She…she's just _gone_!"

"Who is she?" the boy pried. "Why-"

"_Frankie_!" the blob finally confessed with a mournful groan. "Frankie's _gone_, guys!"

"….She…she what?" the child gasped as instinctively his creation's genuine panic sent him spiraling with alarm. Before he could be consumed by dread, however, the sensible child quickly began making a concentrated effort to calm a level head. "Wait…no….no! Bloo, what do you mean Frankie's gone? She-"

"What do you _think_ I mean?" the terribly upset little friend whined. "She's gone! As in, she's _not_ here anymore! She just…she just left-"

"No, no, no, Mac's right! Mac's got a point! He's right!" Goo jabbered. "I mean, seriously, what are you trying to say? Left us? You mean, she just went and left her house, her friends, her family, and her…her…her _everything_ and stuff?"

"_Why_ is this so hard to understand?" Bloo implored. "Yes! She literally just left Foster's!"

"But…but _why_?" Mac demanded as he tried to handle the peculiar mix of skepticism and panic that had taken hold of him. "Why would she-"

"Frankie just lost it! She just _totally_ lost it!" Bloo moaned dolefully. "I mean, one minute she's vacuuming the arcade, everything's just fine, and then suddenly Mr. Herriman reminds her over the loudspeaker she needs to go organize down in the basement. Then, suddenly, she just….she just flips out! I was there, I _saw_ it! Frankie completely just lost it! She's was just all 'That's it! That's _it_!' and stuff, and like that she just turns off the vacuum and storms out! So then I was all, 'Hey, Frankie, what's all the noise about? What's wrong?' and the she was all 'I can't take it! I'm running away!' and like that, she was gone! Totally gone! See, at first I thought she was just getting crabby like she always does, but…but this time, it was _different_. It wasn't just an empty threat Mac, it was _serious_. I could tell, she wasn't joking! And since then,…well, since then, no one's seen her, anywhere! I think she actually did it this time! She actually quit!"

"But…but just because no one knows where she is doesn't mean that she actually-" Mac tried to interject.

"We've looked, Mac! She was _long_ gone before I got to tell anybody! She is not in the house, she's not in the backyard, the front yard, she's not here at Foster's!" Bloo explained. "Trust me, we've looked! She did it, Mac! She actually went ahead and did it! Now, we sent Ed and Wilt to look a round the neighborhood, and Herriman's on the phone with the police now, so trust me, we are going to do everything we can to-"

"Yeah, but…but…" Mac stammered as Goo let out a low whine. As much as instinct was telling them to be wary of anything that Foster's resident pest told them, they couldn't help but admit, the imaginary friend did seem to be legitimately upset beyond belief. Even worse, Mr. Herriman's brief appearance earlier did add quite a hefty dose of legitimacy to Bloo's story. Once all this was coupled with the reality that despite everything, they were still just children, the two couldn't help but become ensnarled with worry. Mac of course especially was feeling panic's sharp pangs, despite his best attempts to fight it, for this was _his_ guardian they were talking about after all.

"No, no, it's okay!" Bloo yelped as for once in his life, he was seriously taking control of a situation. "Just…just…look, we're working on it, okay? Let's just…uh…some water! Yeah! Let's get you some water, or…or something!"

With this, he scooted around and began herding the bemused kids straight towards the kitchen. As he pushed them along, a very dumbfounded Mac tried to argue, "But…but this doesn't make any sense! I-I know Frankie gets a little stressed sometimes, but she wouldn't just-"

"It's not like I get it either!" Bloo groaned. "But just pointing that out isn't going to make her come back any faster! What we need to do is-"

"Yeah…yeah, but…b-but…still…it makes…it _doesn't_ make any sense…." As they entered the kitchen, the shaken child protested weakly as he could feel his eyes start to water a little, much to someone's dismay.

"Yikes! Pal, what's wrong?" If that unmistakable voice didn't do the trick of startling Mac almost clear out of his wits, the pair of arms that descended upon him and attempted to lift him up off the floor definitely did.

"_AAAA_!" he yelped as his whole little body jerked violently in surprise.

"_AUGH_!" the lanky redhead cried out in shock before fumbling the child and actually almost dropping him. After managing to just barely grab a hold of him, she hastily consolidated her grasp before staring at him straight in the eyes and exclaiming, "Jeez! Mac Foster, what on earth has gotten into you?"

"…._Frankie_?" the indescribably baffled little boy just grunted stupidly. Meanwhile, a very sweaty Frances "Frankie" Foster appeared to be just as terribly mystified as she looked to the others, who were likewise giving her weird stares with eyes bulging to the span of saucers.

"…What? _What_?" she asked with an unnerved grimace. "What's happening? Why are you all so up-_HEY_! Whoa, hold on!"

Despite her pleas, Goo latched on and began tugging furiously upon the dirty, moist T-shirt the young woman was wearing. "You're asking _us_ what's going on? Are you, seriously? _You're_ the one who's gotten us all super-super freaked out! I mean, we just get here, and suddenly Bloo's all like, 'Frankie left! Frankie left! She totally ran away!' and now it feels like everyone's going crazy trying to figure out why you were gone, and-"

"Whoa, whoa! Slow down!" the perplexed redhead begged. "Goo, please! What are you trying to-"

"Bloo…" Mac heaved a sigh of deep relief and gave her a quick hug before continuing to explain. "Bloo said that you got really stressed out today, so then-"

"Well…yeah, I did." She admitted truthfully. "I mean, it just felt like every time I got halfway through one chore, the rabbit would pile on two more, and…wait, so why are you guys-"

"But that's not all," Her charge added. "Bloo also said that you ran-"

"Okay, so I went out for a run!" Frankie answered as she pointed to her sweat-soaked T-shirt and short combo. "But I do that, like, a couple times a week! You all know that! Sp why is it that _this_ time, I go and try and blow off some steam, and suddenly you're all freaking out like I went and…"

It was right then that she suddenly stopped mid-sentence, took a good, long dismayed look at Bloo, and slowly, her expression distorted with utter dread. "Oh…_don't_ tell me…"

"_See_?" Goo started jabbering excitedly to the azure figment. "See? See? You were wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! You thought you were so definitely absolutely super-right, but you really actually had no idea whatsoever in the whole wide world what was going on, and-"

"But…but she told me!" Bloo protested defiantly before jabbing a blobbish stub at Frankie. "I remember, you _specifically_ told me! Right after you freaked out in the arcade, you told me that you were running away, and then you-"

"_What_? No! No, no, no, no, no, no, N-O, _no_!" she swiftly denied the accusation. "Bloo, are…are you _kidding_ me?"

"But you _did_!" Bloo doggedly persisted. "You said to me that-"

"I didn't say that I was running away!" she clarified bluntly. "I _said_ that I was _going for a run_!"

"Yeah! You said that you couldn't take it anymore, and you were going to go run off, and-" Bloo assumed mistakenly.

"Not run off like _that_!" the agitated young woman groaned. "I was getting way too stressed, and I told you I was going to go out for a run, and that's exactly what I did! I went out for some exercise! That's it! See the sweat? See the glass of water over there? See the clothes? Hmmm? See the fact that I'm _still_ right here at Foster's? Running away and going for a run are _not_ the same thing, Bloo! In fact, they're very, very, _very_ different things! I mean, are you serious?"

"But…but…but I thought you were…" the little blob sputtered before befuddlement seized him in an iron grip. "So…you weren't running away to escape everything here?"

"Excuse me?" Frankie snapped back in disbelief. "What do you _mean_ escape everything here?"

"You know, all the…the stress, and….stuff…" Bloo tried to explain nervously as she glared at him.

"So let me get this straight…. because I was getting a little stressed today….I supposedly just quit ran off and left _everything_ behind…including friends, the job at my home with free room and board, my family," at this point she hugged Mac close to emphasize her point. "You want me to go on?"

"I told you that it didn't make any sense!" Mac reminded triumphantly, and then promptly grimaced in disgust as he came into unpleasantly close contact with her sweat-drenched skin and clothing. "Uh…Frankie? Frankie, you're…ew…"

As Frankie hastily set him back upon the ground with an apologetic grimace, Bloo tried to stubbornly protest one more time, "But…but, Frankie you said that…you were running away, and-"

"_Not explaining it again_!" the young woman stomped a foot and screamed angrily. With a shrill squeal, the panicked little blob whirled about and raced from the room.

After pausing to try and calm down a little from her raving, Frankie took a deep, long breath and then whimpered unhappily, "Guys?"

"Yeah?" Mac replied softly.

"Uh-huh?" Goo chimed along.

"So…" the young woman nervously inquired. "Are you the only ones that Bloo told that I had…y'know, or-"

She was suddenly interrupted when they heard a familiar gruff voice echo from the foyer, "Senor Herriman! W-we look all around block, but…but we no see any seen of Senorita Frankie, and…a-and…so…you no think she really-"

"Master Eduardo, _please_! We're all quite dismayed by Miss Frances and her shocking actions, but this is no time to fall to pieces! Now don't worry, I just got off the phone with the police, and they promise to check the train station, every bus station, and to…"

Not wanting to hear any more, Frankie promptly plugged up her ears, and rested her head on the nearest counter with a whine. "On second thought…._please_ don't answer that…"

* * *

"…I mean, I can't believe we halfta make that stupid poster. I mean, I really, really, really, just can't believe we gotta spend all that time working and working on some stupid ol' pos-" Goo ranted as together they sauntered through the front gates of Foster's.

"Yeah, but it's only a poster on the water cycle, so-" Mac tried to counter gently.

"But that is soooooo boring!" the bouncy little girl argued. "Water evaporates, condenses into clouds, then falls back down, we get it, we get it! I mean, how many times are we gonna go over it? I feel like we've been talking about it for like, ever and ever, and it's so-"

Their conversation was brought to an abrupt end when they were abruptly interrupted by an almost animalistic wail that nearly scared the two of them clear out of their skins. Before they could recover, a little azure blur rocket out of the house and dashed towards them at full speed.

"Guys! Guys! I…I-I don't believe it! I don't-" Bloo screeched in dismay. "I-"

"Bloo, what 's wrong?" Mac yelped. "What-"

"_Dead_!" he cried mournfully, "She's actually dead! M-Madame Foster, she t-told me! She told me! Holy moly, I don't know how she could be so calm about it, but…Frankie…F-F-Frankie _died_! Frankie die-"

_THWACK_!

"_OW_!" As soon as the soda can struck him squarely on the head, the little figment immediately began rubbing the rapidly growing bump and grumbling darkly under his breath. Meanwhile the children, utterly speechless with bemusement, just stared blankly together at the imaginary friend before slowly turning their gaze towards to the fuming redhead woman stood in the driveway, where apparently she had been in the middle of unloading groceries.

As she bared her teeth in an almost beastlike snarl, Frankie yelled furiously, "_Diet_ soda! Madame Foster wanted me to go to the store to get more _diet_ soda! Oh, for crying out loud…"

**The End**


	32. Mouthing Off

"….Pal, are you sure you can handle all of that?" the redheaded young woman couldn't help but ask as she watched the nine-year-old boy clamber out of the bus with his little arms loaded with a startling number of grocery bags.

"It's okay, I got it!" her charge piped up reassuringly. "I'm all set with….mmph, let me just…um….wait, hold on, I…I just gotta…Frankie, wait, I just…just…"

The second Mac started to stumble a little under the weight of his heavy load, Frances "Frankie" Foster couldn't help but laugh at the sight the overenthusiastically helpful little one cut. "So…you got it under control, huh? Ha! Hold on, Mac, just let me…uh…"

It didn't take her long to realize that her arms were also loaded to capacity. After thinking hard for only a moment though, she quickly realized that she wasn't as helpless as she originally thought. "Hold on just a sec!"

Moving quickly, she managed to awkwardly lean over and nab the top of one of the brown paper grocery bags with her teeth. Once she had it clasped tightly in her jaws, she jerked it out of Mac's grasp and set it safely upon the driveway, if not exactly gracefully.

"_Hey_!" the child yelped in protest while his face automatically reddened a little in embarrassment. "Oh c'mon, I _told_ you I had it!"

Frankie just giggled as she gave him a playful nudge with a sneakered foot. "Right, Mac, it's totally the end of the world here. We all know I'm going to love you that much less now all because you didn't get to handle one bag of groceries too many. So…how do you feel about sleeping in the unicorn stables tonight, Mister Epic Fail?"

"Hey, I'm only trying to help." He protested her teasing as together they began making their way inside, getting yet another chuckle from his guardian.

"Really?" she laughed. "Like I didn't notice when you were fetching things for me in the supermarket. Now c'mon, it's not like another trip outside to get the last few bags isn't going to kill anybody-"

If only the "nobody can possible get harmed" rule applied to the curious spectacle they suddenly came across halfway between the front doors and the Foster's bus. Unfortunately, the moment both young woman and boy spotted the little blob of an imaginary friend sitting right there in the yard fumbling with a box of matches, it became clear that they had stumbled upon a major catastrophe just waiting to happen.

"Darn it!" Bloo cursed angrily as he managed to successfully break yet another match before lighting it. "Stupid lousy little-_RATS_! Jeez, what kind of rip-off is this, anyway? These things just don't wanna-oh come _on_! I didn't even do it very hard that time! Arrrrrgh…."

At first, all the others could do was just stare incredulously in dead silence, unable to believe their eyes.

"….Bloo?" Mac finally asked as he grimaced warily.

"Huh?" the figment turned around, looked him straight in the eye, and simply replied distractedly, "Oh, hey guys. How was-"

"Bloo…_what_ are you doing?" Frankie groaned in exasperation, even though to be honest, she didn't exactly want to know.

Bloo just gawked at them wordlessly for a moment, glanced to his matches, back to them, then finally replied in genuine confusion, "….What is this, some type of trick question?"

"_No_." Mac snapped as he shook his head incredulously. "Bloo, what are you doing?"

"Seriously, what's with you two? I mean, what's it _look_ like?" the imaginary friend interrupted testily. "See? Matches! Ant hills! I mean, this isn't rocket science, it's-"

"All right, _way_ too much information already." Foster's resident caretaker sighed in disbelief before cutting in and demanding flatly, "Hand them over."

"_What_? Hey, it's not like anyone's using these anthills right now-" he immediately started raising a whiny fuss in protest.

"Nuh-uh! You're definitely going to hurt yourself if you're going to keep playing with those things. Hand them over, _now_." She ordered sternly yet again.

"But I-"

"Bloo…" Mac urged, desperate to keep his creation out of trouble. "Come on, just give Frankie-"

"Fine! Fine!" the visibly frustrated little figment threw up his blobby arms in resignation, followed by a sour scowl. "Whatever you say, Little Miss Fun-Kill and Fun-Kill Junior, whatever you-"

"Cut the sarcasm and give up the matches, all right." Frankie bared her teeth with an annoyed growl.

"Sheesh, just chill out a little, will ya?" Bloo grumbled. "Okay, here, take the stupid things, I didn't even want them anyway, so-"

"Look, just give them here, so…uh….gimme a second, just need to…." As she started fumbling with the several grocery bags in her grasp, it didn't take long for it to dawn upon her redhead that simply taking the box of matches was going to be a tad harder than she originally thought. However, that nasty little reality didn't alarm her half as much as the fact that none of this had escaped Bloo's notice, he slowly began to break out into an undeniably wicked grin.

"…What's wrong?" he inquired with a gleeful snicker.

"_Nothing_!" Frankie growled as she struggled in vain to reach out and keep from dropping half of the loaded grocery bags at the same time. "I only need to…just have to… I...I just..."

"What are you waiting for?" Bloo giggled impudently as he held up the box of matches. "Here, take them. C'mon, just take them!"

"I will!" the young woman snapped angrily. Once it unfortunately became obvious she can't handle the groceries and take the matches, she "Mac, grab the-"

"Um…Frankie?" the little boy held up his own load a little with a grunt of exertion to remind her that he was just as helpless as she was at the moment. As the redhead froze and let out a low dismayed moan, Foster's resident miscreant meanwhile nearly exploded with a burst of victorious laughter.

"Hahahaha! Looks like you're having a little bit of trouble there, huh? Heehee!" his entire little body trembled uncontrollably with mirth.

"Okay, fine, so our hands are a little full right now!" she admitted ruefully. "Look, just put the matches in one of the bags here, and-"

"Hmmm…" After staring at the matches in mock-contemplation, the blob merely smiled and replied, "No thank you!"

"_Not_ an option!" Frankie hissed as she bent over a little. "I _told_ you, just put them in one of the bags, and-"

"No…no I don't think I'll be doing that." Bloo chortled cheekily as the young woman promptly went scarlet in the cheeks while her frustration skyrocketed into the stratosphere.

"Bloo, c'mon!" Mac implored as he confronted his imaginary friend. "Just put down the ma-_whoa_!"

Before the boy could get another word out, Bloo wordlessly stuck his arms out and gave him a light shove. In a flash Mac was scrambling to both keep his balance and to still retain his anything but secure hold on the assorted groceries in his grasp, while the azure figment jigged about with merriment.

"What's the matter? C'mon, don't you want to take the matches? Haha! C'mon, it's easy! All you have to do is….oh, riiiight," he teased mercilessly, enjoying their complete inability to lay a finger on him for all that it was worth. "I forgot, you _can't_!"

"I'll only give you the count of three, Bloorgard!" Frankie snarled as she hastily stepped next to Mac, allowing the child to lean up and brace himself against one of her legs before he fell over in a messy heap. "And if you don't let go of those-"

"Oh, I'm soooooo scared." Bloo only continued giggling mockingly, rousing her ire to no end. "Between you two, there's not a free hand to spare! Heeheeheehee! What, are you guys gonna try and grab me with your toes? Hmm?"

"Bloo! _Bloo_! _BLOO_!" the enraged redhead began barking as soon as the door-shaped scoundrel spun around and began leisurely strolling up the front walk. "Don't you dare walk away without handing over those matches! You hear me? I promise, I'll-"

"You'll what? Not like you can do anything right now." He merely tittered cheekily.

Rather than accept defeat, the young woman nearly skewered him with a piercing glare as she hissed determinedly to herself, "Oh, _really_?"

"…Frankie?" Mac pried anxiously once he spotted the raging fire blazing in her emerald eyes. "What are you-"

Without any warning, suddenly she was off after her miscreant prey, who had still yet to realize that by messing with the figurative bull, one only got the horns. In less than a moment, Frankie had easily cleared the distance between them, and with a grunt, she momentarily squeezed the grocery bags tightly in her arms with all the force she could, giving her the instant she needed to bend over and make her move without letting anything tumble to the ground.

"Hey, what're-_OW_! _OWWWW_! _OW_! _OW_! Hey, what's you-_AAAUUUGGGGH_! " like a mother dog would grab one of her insolent pups, the young woman wordlessly nabbed the little blob by the scruff of his neck with her teeth, and actually hoisted him up off the ground, to his clear displeasure.

"_AAAAAA_! What are you doing? What are you _doing_?" Overwhelmed with fright, Bloo continued to screech at the top of his lungs in fright as he dangled in Frankie's tenacious hold. "_OW_! Just what the heck-_OW_!"

"Drop 'em!" Frankie managed to growl around a mouthful of blob. "Drop 'em!"

"_AUGH_! What, are you turning into a vampire or something? Let go of my-_OW_! _OW_! OW! Quit it! _OW_! _OW_!" he wailed miserably as Frankie shook him a little.

"Drop 'em! I said drop 'em!-"

"Okay, okay, okay!" Bloo frantically hurled the matched as if they were a bomb ready to go off. "See, they're gone! They're gone! Now j-just out me down! Put me down! _OW_! _OW_!"

"Oh right, like I'm just gonna leave you alone out here with those things!" Frankie again amazingly managed to utter a comprehensible sentence despite the fact that her mouth was quite full at that very moment.

"_Frankie_!" Mac yelped in panic as he dashed over to her side. "Frankie, what're you doing? let him go!"

"Yes! Yes! Oh, puh-_LEEZE_! You gotta listen to him! _OW_! You _gotta_ listen to Mac! Y-you know he's smart, right? You _always_ say so!" Bloo babbled in terror, with the words gushing form his mouth at a mile a minute. "Why don't you-_OW_! _OW_!"

"Not through with you, yet!" she just growled mercilessly through tightly clenched teeth as she began storming her way towards the house. "C'mon, Mac!"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Bloo screamed like a panicked prisoner being led off to the gallows. "What, are you a vampire now? A werewolf? A…c-cannibal? Why won't you let go? _Why_ won't you let go? _OW_! _FRANKIEEEEEEEEEEEEE_!"

* * *

"….So, what do you think of the place so far?" the gangly crimson imaginary friend warmly asked Foster's newest resident as her showed her around the house.

The other figment, a bright lime-green mouse-like little creature, glanced up at her towering tour guide, smiled meekly, then replied, "It's…it's nice, it's just…it feels like there's so many other friends living here, and…and…"

Wilt just chuckled reassuringly as together they strolled down a hallway. "Oh, it's okay! Don't worry, everyone's really nice here! Honest, you won't have a problem at all!"

"Really?" she squeaked hopefully. He flashed his trademark toothy smile.

"Oh, definitely! And if you actually have any trouble with anything, you can just talk to the caretaker, Frankie. She'll be _more_ than happy to help you out with anything, because's she's really kind. Trust me, I should know because I'm her-"

They were suddenly interrupted by a most hideous clamor. As the mousy friend squealed in fright, Wilt jumped a little in surprise before instinctively herding her behind him. Once he felt she was out of harm's way, he snuck a glance around the next hall corner and immediately found himself staring into the foyer at a most bizarre spectacle.

"_AAAAUUUUUGGGGH_!" Bloo shrieked hoarsely as he dangled helplessly in the resident caretaker's hold. "Help! Help! Someone, call the police! The army! The Ghostbusters! _Anybody_! She's…she's eating me! She's trying to eat me! Frankie's turned into a vampire-cannibal!"

"Oh, knock it off!" Frankie just grumbled unsympathetically as she sauntered along, with Mac trotting along at her heels and imploring her frantically all the while.

"He's had enough! I really think he's had enough!" the boy yelped. "Frankie, he's probably learned his lesson!"

"I let him go, and he's gonna run right back outside and light something!" she growled. "Nuh-uh, first thing I'm gonna-"

"_HELP_!" Bloo wailed. "_OW_! Someone, help! "She's starting to chow down already! She's already starting to chow down on me! Help! Someone, please! _Anybody_!"

"It's your own fault! This is all _your_ fault!" the caretaker only hissed mercilessly as together the odd little group continued towards the kitchen with the captive blob still screaming bloody murder all the while.

Once they had vanished form sight, though not at all from earshot, a very stunned Wilt dumbly glanced back to the mousy figment, who quivered a little as she tugged on his heel and squeaked, "….What was _that_?"

After blankly starring at her for what felt like an eternity, Wilt planted on a phony reassuring smile and promptly began leading her outside as fast as he possibly could, far away from the pandemonium. "Say, have I shown you the…um…mailbox, yet?"

**The End**


	33. Not Exactly Toddler Appropriate

It was honestly nearly impossible to tell what startled the unsuspecting on-duty hospital staff even more; the brightly colored bus, which practically resembled a rainbow on wheels that had screeched to a halt near the emergency room entrance, or the outright bizarre assortment of characters that hurriedly tumbled out of it.

The first to get off the bus, or rather bolt inside at a speed that would've made a champion racehorse envious, was an eleven-year-old pigtailed girl who started frantically chatting up a storm to the first nurse she spotted.

"Quick, quick, quick! C'mon, let's go, go, go, go! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, do you have hearing problems or something?" Goo demanded breathlessly, speaking so fast her lips became blurs. "Because you work here in a hospital, so you probably shouldn't because you probably have an ear specialist here, but that's not important at all right now, because what's really, really, really, really, really super-super-duper important is that you get your butts in gear as super-super quick as you can, because there's a baby on the way and taking care of stuff like that is what you guys do here, right? I mean, it's definitely not the only thing you do here, because what kind of hospital would you be if you only did one thing? A pretty bad one, that's what, and…"

As the girl involuntarily wandered off track in her excitement, the hapless nurse just stared bemusedly as she struggled to make an ounce of sense of the flowing river of nonstop jabbering. "Uh…wait, so…you're saying that…er…a baby is having hearing problems?"

"No, no!" an extraordinarily frazzled eleven-year-old boy gasped as he dashed in and clumsily skidded to a halt by the girl's side. "I mean, there is a baby, and…well, not yet, it's just…look, we thought we were doing all right when we first left the house, but we hit some major traffic on the way over, so now…wait, wait, hold on, let me start over. See, we-"

Before Mac could explain clearly what was going on, a small azure blob rushed in and abruptly interrupted. "No, no, let me do it! Yeesh! Okay, look, I gotta warn you, you guys are gonna be dealing with a _really_ crabby gal in the moment, so you better-"

"_BLOO_!" the children yelled irritably in unison.

"What? _What_?" he whined. "Hey, I'm just letting them know that-"

All suddenly became quite clear when a hoarse howl of discomfort pierced the air. Immediately, all eyes present turned to the redheaded woman who was waddling in, relying heavily all the while on the assistance of another woman roughly her age and a towering scarlet imaginary friend as she entered.

"C'mon, there we go….easy does….it's okay, it's okay….everything's going to be okay…" Wilt poured all the effort he could into sounding as reassuring as possible, even though his facial expression betrayed the fact that he was currently quite flustered. Frances "Frankie" Foster meanwhile didn't appear to hear a single word that her imaginary friend said as she just bickered angrily with the other young woman.

"Took us long enough to finally get here!" she literally snarled as she clutched her swollen stomach, which seemed very out of place considering her otherwise skinny frame. "Why don't I just try and walk here next time?"

Kathy just rolled her eyes as she did her utmost to put up with her friend's current bout of viciousness. After all, as much as she instinctively wanted to at that moment, it wasn't exactly as if she could pile the blame upon Frankie for being a bit agitated right now. "Frankie, you want me to say it again? I'm _not_ in charge of whether the roads are clogged with bumper-to-bumper traffic or not. Got that?"

"Well, _maybe_ we could've avoided it if _you_ had taken those turns I kept pointing out to you over and over and over!" the very pregnant redhead replied testily.

"_Hey_!" the other woman couldn't help but get snappy, as her patience was already wearing dangerously thin at that point. "In case you also forgot, I also have very, very limited experience when it comes to driving buses. _Zero_ experience, actually! And remember, it was _your_ grandma who wanted us all to accompany you, and unless you wanted to warp the laws of physics, we couldn't all fit in my car-"

Frankie suddenly let out an uncontrollable yelp of pain before instinctively clutching belly. In a flash, Kathy had forgotten all about their argument and abruptly was beset with intense worry. "_Augh_! Oh my God, what is it?"

"Are you okay?" Wilt babbled frantically. "Frankie, what happened? Are you all right?"

"…Slight contraction." Frankie managed to answer through tightly gritted teeth. "I…I'm okay just need to sit down for a-"

"A seat, no problem!" he hastily complied and immediately began searching frantically for a nearby empty chair, one of which was nowhere to be found at the moment. "Uh…we just gotta…um….hold on!"

Moving quickly, the famously helpful figment squatted down a little, grabbed hold of his left shoulder tightly, an in an instant he had created an improvised swing seat with his winding arm. As Kathy carefully sat Frankie down, the redhead managed a weak but sincere smile as she whispered gratefully, "Thank you, Wilt."

"It's going to be okay." He immediately started to sputter again and tried to plant on his trademark grin to reassure her, as meanwhile his own almost overpowering anxiety abated slightly. "Don't worry, Frankie, everything's going to be fine."

"I hope so." She groaned as the smile soon vanished from her face. She looked down at her bulging belly, and after staring at it for a few moments, she implored piteously, "A week…your due date is a _week_ away…why _now_? _Why_?"

"Just calm down, okay?" Kathy begged as she patted her hand. "You think any of us were planning on this? Hey, all Iwanted to so was drop by the house and say hi in the middle of my day off, but that didn't exactly happen now, all right? Look, these things just happen, welcome to life, Frances Bridgett Foster! Now just relax, and-"

"Yes, relax! Oh, thank you _so_ much for reminding me! Really, thank you! If _only_ you had told me that sooner!" Not surprisingly, instead of making any progress, Kathy had only ended up irritating the redhead. Frankie bared her teeth and unleashed a massive barrage of bitter sarcasm. "Everything's going to be just peachy now, all thanks to you!"

It became clear that settling her down wasn't exactly going to be an easy task, Kathy just sighed and decided instead to see what progress the others were making. "Hey, how are we doing over there? Are they all set for us yet?"

"Mac and Goo are trying to take of it….I think." Bloo answered as he plodded over. "I dunno, I kinda zoned out a little. What's going on here?"

"We're trying to calm down Little Miss Sunshine here." she answered with an exhausted groan. "And we aren't making much in the way of progress here."

If looks could kill, Frankie would've slain her in less than an instant as she hissed furiously, "How about _you_ go into labor, and then we'll see how well you can keep your cool! All right?"

"Hey Frankie, did you ever think about that idea I told you about?" Without even a hesitant pause a moment, Bloo abruptly interrupted her tirade as he gently prodded one of her legs.

"…_What_?" she growled like an irked wolf. She hadn't a clue what on earth he was doing, but she was already very unpleased with where this was going.

"Well, you remember! Look, I just want to remind you again; when you think about it, Bloo Jr. really is a really cool name if you just think about-" he attempted to explain quite calmly.

"For crying out loud, Bloo, we're _not_ naming the baby Bloo Jr.!" the redhead hissed. "That's a stupid name, and…no, not just that, it's a goddamn awful name! Besides_, we know that she's going to be a girl_!"

"Oh come on! You _really_ still plan on calling her Bridgett? Pfft!" Bloo scoffed unwisely to her face. "What'd you do, flip open the big book of names and pick the first one that-"

"That's my middle name! _THAT WAS MY MOTHER'S NAME_!" Frankie shrieked involuntarily as her cheeks went bright crimson with boiling rage. Just when it looked like she was about to angrily reach out and start to throttle him however, Kathy smartly dragged the imaginary blob back a few feet as Wilt desperately began to try and calm the expectant woman once again.

"Frankie, _not_ okay!" he warned. I'm sorry, but I really, really don't think it's good for you to be-"

"You have any idea what I'm about to go through, here? _Do yo_u?" came the snarled reply of disbelief. "_Do_ you, Wilt?"

"What are you _doing_?" Kathy meanwhile growled in disbelief after moving Bloo to a safer distance and giving him a light cuff on the head.

"_OW_! Hey, you _said_ she was getting all freaked out, so I was trying to take her mind off of it by chatting about-_OW_!"

The severely annoyed woman pinched his arm fiercely as she scolded, "Newsflash, Einstein; that _doesn't_ work when all you talk to her about is the name of the baby that she's going to have! I swear to-"

"We're all set! We're all set! All set, all set, all set, so let's go, go, go! C'mon! Hurryhurryhurry!" Goo started shouting impatiently as she and Mac led another nurse hurriedly pushing a wheelchair along. "Let's go, let's go, move it move it move it!"

"A-are you okay?" Mac gasped worriedly asked as he began gingerly helping to transfer the redhead from Wilt's arm into the real seat.

"Does it _look_ like I'm okay?" Frankie gasped as the clearly nervous nurse took a deep breath, tried his best to keep from noticeably quavering too badly, and began explaining in a nervous babble,

"I-I'm so sorry for the wait, ma'am! We're all ready, so just-"

"If you're ready, then what the hell are you just standing there for?" she snarled like a mad cougar. The poor fellow almost leapt out of his skin in fright and hastily tried to take hold of the wheelchair.

"Okay, okay, just let me-"

"No, _not_ you! Nuh-uh!" Frankie hissed venomously after reaching out and making an unsuccessful swipe at him, which he just barely dodged. "You people keep me waiting in here while I'm ready to pop, and then you think I'm going to let one of _you_ actually-"

"Easy! Easy there!" Mac yelped as Wilt instinctively let the apologies flow forth.

"We're sorry! We're _so_ sorry! She's not always like this, and…er….not usually like this, at least! Look, she's a little bit stressed out right now, so please don't-"

"I'm a hell of a lot stressed out right now, and I will get stressed all that I goddamn want to!" Frankie let loose and howled angrily as Kathy started to wheel her along as they all followed the flat-out terrified nurse leading the way, making sure he kept a safe distance the whole while. "I'm the one about to have the kid here! You all got that? I promise, you all try and make me act like everything's all sunshine and rainbows, then I will honestly make your waking moments a living nightmare! You hear me? _You hear me_?"

Such in a nutshell was how the journey to the delivery room went, and such was still basically the situation after they had gotten settled down. Despite the change of scenery, Foster's resident feisty redhead was still anything but even remotely more relaxed then before.

"I swear to God, if these people try and give me any more bullshi-" before the redhead could continue on with her murderous ranting, Kathy wisely cut in for the sake of the younger ones present.

"Okay, so the doctor is going to be here with us shortl, all right?" she reminded gently as she stood at the bedside and cautiously wiped her best friend's sweaty brow. "So how about we just settle back, at least try to settle down a bit, and remember to do your breathing…there we go, nice and easy...just like in lamaze class...."

"Anything we can do? Anything? Just name it, and we'll do it, fast as we can, and no fooling, either!" Goo offered as she bounced about with nervous excitement. "You want another pillow? Glass of water? You just say it, and it's no problem at all, none whatsoever, because that's what we're all here for, because it's your big day and because it's a special day we all have to be especially super-aware about everything you need, because I was there in the waiting room when my cousin was born, and so I know that-"

Without warning, Frankie's emerald eyes suddenly almost bulged out of her skull, and the redhead promptly shot up with a hoarse cry of alarm as her facial features contorted with panic. "S-someone, quick!"

Instantly her charge and faithful imaginary friend were at her sides in less than an instant. Mac attempted to inquire, "What's wro-"

Before he could get any further, she wordlessly grabbed their hands, clenched her jaw, and unleashed an almost animalistic cry of pain from a particularly vicious contraction. Instantly, both boy and lanky figment were chiming along with her as she suddenly started squeezing their hands with such almost unnatural force within a moment the pair felt like their fingers had gotten in the way of a massive steamroller.

As soon as the contraction passed, she released her iron hold with a grunt, allowing the two unlucky souls to nurse their badly aching hands. After taking a deep breath, Frankie pounded her mattress with a fist and growled furiously before anyone could utter a word exploded into another tirade. "_Don't_ ask me if I'm okay or not, all right? Don't any of you even _think_ about it! Does it actually _look_ like that I'm okay? Here's a clue for you; I'm _not_! I'm not! I'm not! I'm about to have a _baby_, for God's sake! Does that mean anything to any of you? _Huh_?"

"…Um…we're....w-we're...we're, uh...sorry?" Wilt murmured instinctively, literally having no idea of what else to say at that moment.

"So...s-so..." Goo, who at the moment was unusually subdued with fear, piped up in a tone barely above a nervous whisper, "You sure there's nothing we can d-"

"You want something to do? _Fine_! For the love of all that is holy, will someone _please_ tell me where the hell in the world my damn husband is right now?" she cursed freely and shamelessly, regardless of the fact that there were children present.

"I _told_ you, I already called Rudy!" Kathy hastily reminded as she tried to calm the raging redhead. "_Remember_? We called him like, at least three times! You even talked to him while we were driving over here! For cripe's sake, You even said that he told you that he'd be here soon-"

"Oh yeah? Soon _isn't_ good enough anymore! He needs to be here, _now_!" Frankie practically howled at the top of her lungs with barely contained fury the likes of which was barely comprehendible.

For a few moments, the others just stood there and fidgeted anxiously, while passing each other totally dumbfounded looks. No one really was sure about what to do next, and as a result, everyone was understandably quite afraid of of doing something wrong and provoking her terrible wrath. However, it wasn't long until Frankie shot them all a murderous glare, as she demanded impatiently, "_WELL_? Don't just stand there!"

"What do you expect us to-" Kathy begged wearily.

"Call him again! Check if he just got here or not! See if he's here and he's just lost in the building! I don't know, something! _Anything_! Am I talking to a brick wall here?" Frankie actually screamed, as her patience and ability to keep a cool head had long since been annihilated shortly after her first labor pangs.

"You really-"

"_GET GOING_!" the mother-to-be shrieked like a banshee. Fortunately, the others were smart enough to see that their lives were possibly threatened unless they did as bid, and in a mad rush they all hastily stampeded out of the room and into the hallway.

Needless to say, it didn't take long at all for Frankie to realize her grave mistake. Once she saw that she was going to be left all alone in literally a matter of seconds, she was suddenly overcome with a massive surge of panic. Although it was difficult for anyone to notice, she nevertheless was also understandably scared out of her wits at that moment, considering what she was going through and what she knew was still to come. Immediately she started to cry out frantically, "Wait, wait! No, wait! I-I didn't mean everyone! Please! Please, somebody! Don't leave!"

For a moment, it looked as she had actually forced everyone to abandon her at the nightmarishly wrong time. As she felt her heart plummet into her stomach with despair, the young woman gripped her bed-sheets tightly and emitted a low whimper. Just a moment later, however, Mac was scrambling like mad back into the room, apologizing furiously all the while. "Sorry! Are you okay?"

"_Pal_!" she gasped in indescribable relief. No sooner had he returned to her side had she clumsily leaned over and gratefully enveloped her charge in a tight hug. "Thank you! Thank you! I'm sorry, I…I can't help it!"

Of course, the eleven-year-old was hardly the model for composure at that moment, and therefore currently not exactly the most reassuring figure. The very thought of a new family member arriving within the next few hours, plus the obvious fact that Frankie could barely contain herself, had both left him extremely flustered beyond compare, to put it lightly. Despite this, he was still in better shape than her, who he embraced right back and tried to assure, even though his voice kept involuntarily cracking here and there. "It's all right, I'm still here. Don't worry, it's-"

"Don't even try it, because tt's _not_ going to be okay." She groaned, the model of abject misery as she lamented on. "I'm such a mess that I can't keep control of my own nerves for longer than two seconds, I'm scared half to death, because of that I can't stop _anything_ from ticking me off and...I mean, just _look_ at me! I've become a screechy, bloated witch who can't last five minutes without cursing anyone out! I know exactly what kind of terror I am, and I _can't_ help it, Mac! It's like going through a years' worth of bad days back at the house and squeezing it all into several hours! Pal, I....I just don't-"

"It's okay, really!" Mac nevertheless continued to tell her as he doggedly and desperately strove to calm her. After reaching out tentatively, he started to stroke her head, as she so often would do to him whenever he was upset. "Uh…just…look, don't worry, or anything, because…um…"

His mind was going a mile a minute as he hastily tried to come up with something to settle her down. Although chances are that anything that he threw out wouldn't be much, at this point any difference he could make would be quite the benefit. "Uh...see, it's...wait! Look, just....just don't forget, it should be over by the end of the day, and...and then after that, we'll just have an even bigger, and...um...bigger and happier family....right?" he said hopefully.

The imagery was undeniably as corny as could possibly be, and nothing short of atrociously clichéd. Nevertheless, it actually was just what the doctor ordered. The thought of it actually gave Frankie a surprising amount of comfort, and to her charge's deep relief, she brightened slightly, and even mustered up an actual chuckle. "Yeah… that's right, pal..."

"There we go!" Mac grinned weakly. "And I'll…uh…"

"You'll be a big brother." His "mother", as she now finally insisted on referring herself, reminded him warmly as her lips started to curl into a barely noticeable but genuine smile as she allowed herself to get caught up in it all. For a little bit, all seemed to be right with the world as both relaxed at the thought of what was to hopefully come in the future, while Frankie happily continued on. "And you two will be so close, and-"

The tender familial moment was shattered by the passing of yet another contraction. As Frankie cried out like a wounded animal, for a moment her hold on the boy seemed to increase tenfold as she basically used him like a human stress ball.

"_Urrrk_!" Mac gagged while it felt like the very air was being squeezed from his lungs. Just like with the others though, it wasn't long until it passed, and no sooner had it ended and she freed him from another veritable death-grip with an apologetic yelp, an older woman clad in a spotless white overcoat suddenly entered the room.

"Hello there! Sorry for the delay, Mrs. Foster!" she greeted with a toothy smile in what she thought was a professional, but calming tone that she didn't realize was far too cheery for Frankie's liking. "I'm the on-duty obstetrician, Dr. G-"

She surveyed the scene, and trailed off in mid-sentence, to Frankie's intense annoyance as her infamous temper flared up. "What? Dr. _what_?"

"Uh…I'm…I'm sorry…" she apologized to the infuriated redhead as her demeanor deflated quite a bit. Nevertheless, she pointed to Mac and attempted to explain, "It's just…sorry, but here, we prefer that only family to remain in here, and so...it's hospital regulation, see, and I'd rather that-"

"Are you _kidding_ me?" Frankie, unable to believe her own ears, erupted, sounding so blood-chillingly ferocious she easily could've made the hair on the back of the necks of an entire biker gang stand up straight. "What is your problem? Of _course_ he's family! This is _my_ kid you're talking about, and I swear, you try and tell me otherwise, then I will honestly…no, you know what? You better not find out, because I swear by the time we're through I _will_ be haunting your nightmares-"

"Sorry! I'm sorry! Ma'am please, I'm s-sorry" The dotor relented, but still only reluctantly so. The fact that the boy and the redhead didn't physically resemble one another at all still concerned her a little, unfortunately. "It's just that…you see-"

"You have _got_ to be kidding me! _Still_ don't believe us? What, you need proof or something? Is that what you want? Hmm?" The snarl Frankie curled her lips into would've made a Siberian tiger mewl with fright as she pretended to reach into an imaginary pocket.

"What're you-_oh my_!" the terribly startled doctor hastily averted her gaze in embarrassment and actually cowered slightly as Frankie then raised a very specific finger to her.

"_Here's_ your damn proof!" the redheaded woman growled as she mad no secret of the anger that was surging through every ounce of her being. "Here, all the proof that you could ever want! Is _this_ good enough? Huh? Or do you want me to double it for you? Don't tempt me here!"

"He's coming he's coming he's coming! Right now! As in now! Right this very actual second! Not soon, not in five minutes, nownownownow!" with a burst of chatter Goo suddenly reappeared on the scene when she clumsily skidded to a halt in front of the doorway. While Frankie continued to give a piece of her mind to the obstetrician and then some, Mac hastily slipped out unnoticed into the hallway.

"Who? Who's here?" he asked. No sooner had the words left his mouth when the breathless girl simply raised a finger and started pointing furiously towards the gangly red imaginary friend and young woman just down the hall, practically dragging a very flustered young man in their frenetic haste.

"Smooth move! _Real_ smooth!" Kathy snapped sarcastically. "Just take your time, why don't you? What, did you decide to go grab a bite to eat on the way over? Oh, that's all right, not like your wife's in labor or anything!"

"But I _told_ you!" Rudy gasped as he struggled to keep up the pace. "I seriously left as soon as you called! _Literally_! I hit the same traffic that you did, and-"

"He's right." Wilt pointed out between ragged breaths. "Look Kathy, I'm sorry, but I really don't think it's okay for you to be yelling at him like-"

"Can I _help_ it that Mama Foster was basically threatening to bite our heads off?" the sorely agitated woman grumbled as the little group stumbled to an extremely ungraceful halt.

"Kiddo, is everything okay?" Rudy asked Mac worriedly once he laid eyes on the boy. "Is-"

"In there! She's in there!" the boy quickly answered, earning him a hasty but affectionate pat on the head in gratitude before the young word wordlessly dashed into the delivery room as fast as his legs could possibly carry him.

As everyone paused for a moment for a desperately needed breather, Kathy couldn't help but remark dryly with a hopeful smile, "No offense, but do you think we finally calmed the beast?"

Not by a long shot, apparently. Literally an instant later, their eardrums where assaulted by the panicked screams of the doctor. "_AUGH_! Wait, wait! What are you _doing_? Let go! _Please_, let him go!"

After nearly jumping clean out of his skin, Wilt was the first to peer in. "What's going-_headlock_! _Headlock_! _She has him in a headlock_! _Not oka_y!"

Quickly they all dashed back into the delivery room, where lo and behold, they saw that Wilt had been yelping nothing but the horrible truth. As the frightened doctor cowered at a safe distance, Rudy almost seemed to be squirming for his own life as his wife tried to restrain him in an embrace that obviously was not even close to what could possibly be mistaken for a loving hug.

"Frankie! H-honey, _please_!" he cried hoarsely as he tried to both soothe her and wiggle his way to freedom, both of which were quickly proving to be nothing short of Herculanean tasks. "What're you-"

"Where _were_ you?" if Frankie's tone could possibly get any more venomous, she probably would've started spewing acid from her mouth. "_Where_? I'm not your damn dry cleaning that you can just stop by for whenever you feel like it! If you thought you could get away with-"

"Get away with _what_? What?" he wailed. "I got here as soon as I could! I got here as soon as I could! _Ow_! Frankie, stop! _Stop_!"

"Frankie, no! Not okay! So not okay!" Wilt yelled in panic as he dashed over and began working frantically to loosen her veritable death-grip, as did everyone else.

"Let go! You gotta let _go_!" Mac frantically implored as he tried to pry her fingers off.

"You think I'm gonna let that kid be born thinking her mom's a maniac? Nuh-uh! C'mon, Frankie! C'mon!" Kathy begged desperately for her friend's temporarily suppressed rationality to prevail for a moment.

All their pleading and scolding seemed to be all for naught as Frankie only managed to tighten her tenacious hold and howl to her husband like a redhead possessed, "Happy? Are you happy now? This is all _your_ fault! _You_ did this to me! You did this to-"

* * *

"…And so, it took everyone there to finally make her let go of-_OW_!"

Story time was brought to an abrupt end when someone suddenly clamped onto the azure raconteur's arm and forcibly yanked him away from the crib with a fierce yank.

"Hey, just what are you-" the instant Bloo saw his extremely agitated creator and the plainly outraged President of Foster's looming over him, the little figment instinctively clammed up. Before a world of rebuke was unleashed upon him, however, the lanky redheaded woman glanced into the crib, and heaved a gasp of relief when she saw that its three-year-old occupant seemed to be fast asleep.

"Bloo!" Frankie hissed under her breath as she looked back to the miscreant blob and got down upon one knee. "What do you think you're _doing_?"

"What? What'd _I_ do?" he whined. "You _told_ me that I could tell Bridgett a story before her nap, and-"

"Yeah, but you're supposed to tell her 'The Three Little Pigs,' or something like that." Mac clarified with a heavy sigh. "Something…well, y'know…"

"Something _age-appropriate_." Frankie groaned in frustration as she buried her face in her hands. "Don't you ever take a moment to think about these things?"

"Oh c'mon, what's wrong with trying something different?" Bloo argued in a hushed tone. "She's probably heard all that Mother Goose junk a billion times over. I just thought that she'd like to hear about how-"

"Telling her about the time I spent half a day swearing at people while doing you-know-what is _not_ the kind of thing someone who just turned three should be hearing about." Frankie scolded as she glared daggers his way. "What did you tell her before she fell asleep?"

"Huh?" the imaginary friend grunted as he cocked his head confusedly. "Wait…she's asleep?"

"I'm not asking you again." The woman demanded furiously. "How much did you tell-"

"Not that much! N-not that much!" he whimpered as he cringed uncontrollably under the piercing stare. "I…I went really into detail about everything that happened when we got caught in traffic on the way to the hospital...y'know, how you were freaking out, and...and how we...uh...anywaway, so….so maybe that's…that's when she…dozed off, and…"

With a low whine, he took cover behind his best friend, while Frankie simply leaned in closely and remarked in a hushed tone, "You are so lucky Blooragard, you have no idea."

"C'mon…w-we're family…" he reminded, using the last trick in his arsenal to save his skin.

"And do you actually _want_ to know what I'd do to you if you weren't?" she growled, revealing that she was quite aware of this fact.

Apparently not, seeing as how the less-than-masterful storyteller mumbled something incomprehensible, and made a hasty departure just a moment later. While Bloo made a hasty exit, Mac gave his parent a disapproving look. "Oh c'mon, did you have to be so tough?"

"Just think about _every_ nasty detail that he could've told Bridgett...and I mean every one, and _then_ get back to me." The unrepentant woman whispered when from out of the blue, a sleepy little voice interrupted them.

"…So what happened then?"

The others froze in total disbelief. Looking mortified beyond compare, Frankie dashed back to the crib, where to her dismay she found a dozy little girl looking up at her through half-opened eyelids. For a moment, the redheaded woman just gawked silently before asking in as sweet tone as she could nervously conjure up, "Sweetie? H-how...how long have you been awake?"

"Dunno…" the tot yawned. "Bloo said something 'bout lotsa cars…and then you were all mad….and…and…"

It rapidly become obvious that she had only been half-asleep at most the entire time. The good news was that at best, because she had only been half-awake, she only absorbed and understood the most general facts of the tale. The bad news, as Frankie swiftly realized as the child stared up at her expectantly, was that she wanted the story to continue on.

"What happened, Mommy? Bloo said…said somethin'...said I was gonna be borned…." She squeaked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Dumbly, Frankie scooped her daughter into her arms and for the longest time, could only gape at the little one like a deer trapped in headlights as she wracked her brain for a way out of this dilemma. She literally did not want to reveal even the most basic of details of how the miracle of life occurred. However, when nothing surfaced in her mind, the woman turned to her "oldest" with an expression of utter panic.

"...Help?" she mouthed silently, to Bridgett's confusion.

"Mommy?" she squeaked in puzzlement. "Why'd you move your lips-"

"Uh…um…" Mac stammered as he plodded over. "You see….uh…you….you were…"

After thinking frantically, he suddenly came up with what seemed to be just the right solution. Quickly, he cooed, "You were so cute _after_ you were born!"

The faux enthusiasm he conjured up out of sheer desperation did just the trick. His little sister brightened up immediately, signaling that she hadn't noticed how he had just skipped over a crucial part of the story.

"I was?" she piped up eagerly as her jade eyes opened wide with delight.

With a weak but genuine grin, Mac chuckled softly as he tickled her under her chin. "Yeah, of course! Isn't that right?"

Her immense relief knowing no bounds at that moment, Frankie broke out into fat smile as she took a moment to give Mac an awkward but deeply sincere one-armed hug of gratitude before continuing on for her daughter. "Yes you were, sweetie! Yes you were! You were just such a beautiful little girl…"

* * *

"Cootchie Cootchie coo! Cootchie coo! Cootchie cootchie coo! Are you a little angel? Yes you are, you are so definitely are! Well, I guess that would mean if we're talking about a super-super adorable angel, because in the case I'd be right, but we probably can't say you look like any angel, because you're just an itty-bitty baby and that would mean all angels are itty-bitty babies, which would be really, really weird, because that would mean heaven would be full of dirty diapers and stuff, right?" Goo gushed uncontrollably.

Thankfully, the newborn cradled ever so gently in her arms wasn't old enough to realize that the indescribably excited girl was attempting to talk her ears off, and she continued to merely stare up confusedly through half-shut eyes.

"Yeah, that would be _so_ weird," Goo rambled on. "Like, the weirdest thing ever in the whole wide-"

"All right, that's enough." Kathy interrupted as she eagerly but delicately took the infant from the little girl. "_My_ turn."

"Fine." Goo huffed before promptly conceding, "I guess I don't wanna be selfish or-_HEY_! Hey, wait a second! Just wait a second! You already got to hold her!"

"Yeah…and I want to do it again." The remorseless woman giggled fiendishly as she started happily cooing to the little treasure. "Oh, you are just cute as a button! Yes you are, you are just _so_ cute!"

"...Guys?" an extremely weary-looking redheaded woman tried to hoarsely make herself heard from where she lay upon her hospital bed, looking like she had been to hell and back several times. After spending half her day caught in the grips of a panic-induced rage, Frankie was far too exhausted to do any more yelling, a fact which wasn't playing too well in her favor at the moment. "Guys, can I just-"

"...So cute! Oh _so_ cute!" her best friend just babbled on, oblivious to her pleas.

"Seriously," the bedraggled wreck of a new mother implored with a groan as she brushed some eschew scarlet locks out of her eyes. "What about _my_ turn? I don't think I've been able to hold her for more than five minutes."

"C'mon, are you even listening?" Mac chimed in, even though the answer was an obvious unspoken "no."

"....Gootchie-gootchie! Oh I could just eat you up-_hey_!" Kathy yelped as a certain dutiful imaginary friend finally stepped in and took action on behalf of his "kid."

"Oop! I'm sorry!" Wilt instinctively exclaimed as he swooped in from above. With one swift movement, he literally plucked the infant out of the woman's grasp with a big red hand, and then with just one step he was at Frankie's bedside.

"There we go…here's your Mom…shhh…I'm sorry…I'm sorry about that…sorry if I was a little rough at all….sorry…" he whispered apologetically all the while as the redheaded woman tenderly took her daughter into her arms. Immediately, her raging exhaustion was overcome by a wave of indescribable bliss, and Frankie was all smiles in an instant as she lovingly began to cradle the little one.

"Hey, you....see him? That's Wilt…you're going to hear a _lot_ of that from him." She actually managed to joke as she gave one the gangly imaginary friend's legs an affectionate pat of reassurance, causing him to break out grinning toothily.

"She's...oh my God, she's just so _beautiful_." Her husband gushed with an enormous smile. He was practically glowing with happiness, which was quite good seeing as how he badly needed something to distract from the rather diverse array of fresh bruises that he had received earlier.

"You're telling me?" Frankie managed a serene giggle as he leaned so they could share a quick kiss. However, no sooner had she placed a hand gently on one of his shoulder when he drew back with an undeniable grimace of severe discomfort.

"_Ahh_! Sorry!" he hastily blurted out an apology. "Sorry…still kind of tender…"

"Oh for Pete's sake, I hit you there too?" Frankie exclaimed as she blushed in embarrassment over their earlier "incident." The fact that she had practically pummeled him right there in the delivery room was something she definitely wasn't going to be remembering all that fondly.

"Hey, there." Mac meanwhile started to coo to the baby as he eagerly leaned over, eyes wide with total adoration. Happy to have attention diverted away from the fact that she had given her own husband a thrashing, Frankie burst out beaming again as she started whispering lovingly to the newest addition to thehermost peculiar family.

"See? Look, there's your big brother again. See him? See Mac?" she cooed as she adjusted her hold on Bridgett so that Mac could tenderly stroke the infant's head a little. "Trust me, you're _definitely_ going to like him, because he's-"

"I wanna hold her again! Please? Pretty please? Pretty pretty please?" Goo started begging shamelessly, getting a laugh out of Frankie.

"Okay, give me ten minutes with my own baby, and then maybe you can-"

"_There_ you guys are!" A familiar voice abruptly ruined the moment. With a start, everyone in near unison looked to the imaginary blob sauntering into the room, with a bag of chips at hand. "Sheesh! That was a nightmare tracking you all down again!"

"…Bloo?" Mac exclaimed curiously as it slowly dawned on him, as it did on everyone else, that the little figment had been oddly absent for the last hour or two. "Wait…where were-"

"Getting a snack! _Duh_!" he replied. "I mean, we _did_ miss out on lunch. While you were screaming like an amateur opera star, I decided to head on down to the vending machines. And you would _not_ believe where they hide those things! I mean, I should probably get a gold medal for finding them, because you practically can't do it without, like...a degree in...um...find-onomics! They were tucked away in some corner in the middle of nowhere, and then of course I get there and realize I didn't have enough change, so I asked around and around to anyone who passed by, and…"

Once he spotted the infant in Frankie's arms, he erupted with a groan of the utmost annoyance. "Oh, come _on_! Don't tell me that after all of that, I missed it! Look, could we…well, could you, like…I dunno…do that again, or something? Y'know, just a real quick do-over?"

The request was just so hideously unbelievable, at first literally no one else knew what to say. This is, all save Frankie, who managed to exclaim in unfathomable horror at the very thought, "Do it…_again_?"

"All right! All right! That's _it_!" Goo burst out jabbering angrily as she stomped over to the imaginary friend. "You got a whole lot of nerve, you know that? And I mean like, a whole dump truck full of nerve, that's how much you have! What are you, crazy? Super-crazy? Or just super-super-mega crazy? Because let me tell you, Mister No-Idea-What's-Going-On-Ever, if you think you can-"

"_Ow_! _Owwwww_!" Bloo yelped in agony as she clamped on tightly to his arm, and instinctively he began to defensively swat at her. "Quit it! Quit it! Quit it! Let go!"

"Nuh-uh! Nuh-uh! You better knock off the funny business right now, and I'm not talking about the good kind of funny business, like being a professional clown, because you are so-_ow_! Hey, stoppit I said stoppit! Cutitout! Cutitout! Cutitout!"

"Knock it off! Knock it off!" Kathy scolded as she leapt in to try and break up the escalating mini-brawl. "No, not here! Hey, cut it out already! Mmph, why won't you…_argh_! Hey, a little help here, please?"

"_Not_ in front of the baby! Please, don't!" Rudy beseeched as he joined the desperate attempts to pry imaginary friend and girl apart. "No! No!"

"Not okay! So _not_ okay!" Wilt cried out as he finally had to join the epic struggle.

As the chaos reigned, Frankie swiftly decided she was in no mood to become a participant in the sheer madness. Instead of involving herself in any way, shape or form, she merely cuddled her newborn close, sighed, and then shut her eyes as she attempted to simply try and tune it all out. Mac meanwhile just leaned in close and whispered to Bridgett with a groan, "If you think _this_ is weird…just wait until you see what home is like."

**The End**


	34. It Never Ends

At first, he paid absolutely no heed to the sound of something soft landing upon the floor; in fact, he barely even noticed it. However, suddenly the girl leaning up against him as they watched TV together spoke up and asked curiously, "Hey…where'd _that_ come from?"

Mac glanced to where she was pointing and quickly spotted the small stuffed elephant that apparently someone had just tossed into Foster's spacious TV room for some inexplicable reason. As Goo just gawked at it curiously for a moment, the teenage boy meanwhile got up from his seat and sauntered over to the familiar-looking plush animal.

"Huh…" the boy grunted as he bent down to pick up the toy. "That's weird, what's-"

Suddenly, with the patter of little feet and a triumphant whoop, a small giggly weight landed upon his exposed back and grasped on tightly. "_GOTCHA_!"

As Mac dropped to his knees under the force of his surprise assailant, Goo instantly snorted uncontrollably before she was overcome with laughter at the sight. "Hahahaha! I get it! A sneak-attack! A total sneak-attack! Heeheehee-_whoa_!"

With a bold cry, a little blob suddenly lunged from behind the sofa onto the unsuspecting girl, or attempted to, anyway. Unfortunately, he made the error of starting to yell a good second before he launched his attack, giving the startled teenager ample time to pluck him from mid-air and unceremoniously drop him onto the couch.

"_OOF_! Hey! Oh, this is _so_ not as awesome as you said it would be!" Bloo immediately starting whining indignantly to Mac's pipsqueak attacker.

The boy himself meanwhile, despite the fact he had been targeted for an unprovoked assault, just burst out chuckling uncontrollably as he felt his ambusher wiggle about wildly in an attempt to securely hang on to her far larger "captive." Moving gently, he reached behind, and in a flash he had tugged the five-year-old loose and was holding her up high before him.

"Eeek! Heehee! No fair! No fair!" his little sister squealed with laughter as she waved her arms and kicked helplessly. "No fair!"

"Well, well, what do we have _here_?" Mac demanded with a mischievous grin.

"Looks like a big ol' bird fell out of the sky and landed on you! Yup, that's definitely what it looks like to me! No doubt about it! Uh-huh!" Goo left Bloo to nurse an injured ego, hopped off the sofa and happily started to tease the little one.

"Nuh-uh!" Bridgett squeaked defiantly. "I'm notta bird!"

"I dunno…" Mac countered in a mock-serious tone as he pretended to examine her. "I mean, your head's covered with _allllllll_ these big red feathers."

"No, I'm notta bird!" she tittered as he ruffled her bright crimson locks playfully .

"Oh yeah? Looks more like one of those big, fibbing Goofybirds, if you ask me!" Goo jokingly remarked as she prodded the little one in the belly. "Yeah, I'd definitely, definitely know one of those if I saw them!"

"So is _that_ what you are?" Mac asked as he set her down upon her back. Before Bridgett could right herself back upon her feet, in a heartbeat she was squirming about like mad and shaking with fresh laughter as he began to mercilessly tickle her stomach.

"Heeheeheeheehee! "S-stop! Stoppit, Mac! Stoppit!" she begged as she tried to thrash free of his hold. "Heeheehee! No more! No more!"

"Hey, Goofybird, how about this?" he only chortled as he redoubled his efforts. "Next time you're flying around and you see Bridgett, tell her not to be such a tricky little sneak! Got it?"

"Yeeheehee! But _I'm_ Bridgett!" she managed to cry out, to no avail at all. However, just as she started to practically shriek with mirth, her captor suddenly released his hold with a yelp of surprise. Without a word of warning, Goo had suddenly reached under and launched a surprise attack of her own, and started furiously tickling the boy's exposed sides.

"Hey, Mister Toughguy-Jerk-Meanie!" she whooped. "Don't you know that Goofybirds are endangered? We can't have super-nasty boys like you picking on a poor, poor, poor, helpless little birdie, can we? Nope! No, we can't! Nuh-uh! Not in a zillion years, that's right!"

"Yeah!" the five-year-old chimed in as she clambered to her feet and backed up a little, looking as if she was preparing to pounce once again. "You can't do that, you mean ol'-"

"Uh-uh! Now what do you think _you're_ doing, Sillybrains?" Goo cooed as she relinquished her tickly hold.

"Um…I was gonna-"

"What, jump on the meanie here?" the teenager teased. "Aw, now why would you want to do that…when jumping on stuff that's nice and squishy is so much, much, much, definitely infinitely more fun? Especially when they're soft and blobby and blue?"

"_Yeah_!" the little one yelled excitedly as Bloo just gave them all a puzzled stare of total incomprehension from where he was still seated upon the couch.

"Wait, what do you mean-_AUGH_!" he cried out as realization finally dawned upon him with the force of a sledgehammer to the gut. "Oh _no_ you don't! Hey! Hey, no fair! Traitor! _Traitor_!"

For the next few moments, both teens were quaking with laughter at the sight of the small child gleefully chasing the frantic figment in circles all around the room, looking for all the world like a pair plucked out of a Saturday morning cartoon.

"Nuh-uh! I'm _not_ a landing pad! Or a trampoline! Or…or…a…a…jumping-on…thing!" Bloo shouted defiantly as they did laps around the couch. "No way!"

"Come on, you almost got him!" Mac just cheered on.

"Yeah-huh! Almost! Gotta run just a little faster! C'mon, c'mon, you can do it!" Goo whooped encouragingly, to Bloo's plain dismay.

"_Augh_! Make her stop!" the blob wailed pleadingly as desperately tried to flee. "Quit it! Quit it! Quit-"

"Okay, what's all the ruckus?" a familiar voice boomed loudly from down a nearby hallway, cutting through all the commotion like a spear through cardboard armor. In an instant, Bridgett went through a rapid and peculiar transformation. As she abruptly forgot all about the chase, she tensed up with a frantic yelp, her smile vanished form her face, and as fast as a bullet she suddenly dashed to where the now fairly bemused teenagers were sitting on the floor and took cover behind them. No sooner had she hidden from sight when a lanky, red-haired woman sauntered into the room with a look that plainly declared she was on a mission of sorts.

Before anyone else could utter one sound, Frances "Frankie" Foster demanded "All right, what do we have here?"

After taking a quick preliminary scan of the room, she observed out loud, "I know for a fact that I heard _both_ of my kids not more than five seconds ago…and there's no way one of them is leaving this room unless she's marching straight upstairs to take her ba-"

"_No_!" with a defiant yelp, Bridgett panicked and tried to dart for freedom. Before she could scamper off, Mac twisted around and managed to nab her by the sides, and immediately she was vocalizing her discontentment. "No! No! Don't wanna! I don't wanna!"

"Hey, c'mon! It's okay-" the teenage boy tried to console her unsuccessfully as she wiggled about like a child possessed in order to escape.

"No! No! No! I don't wanna bath! No! I don't! I don't! I don't!" she only continued to yell over and over as she rapidly worked herself into a fussy wreck with the skill only small children like her possessed. Once it rapidly became obvious he wouldn't be able to diffuse the situation, Mac took the logical course of action and promptly handed her off to the expert.

Despite the fact that that her daughter was on the verge of a mini-meltdown, Frankie didn't even bat an eyelid as she calmly took the little one into her arms and asked gently, "Aw, what's wrong?"

"I don't want a bath!" she whined piteously as she relentless squirmed about. "I don't-"

"Shhh….and _why_ is that?" her mother asked softly yet bluntly, catching the child off guard. In a flash, she had ceased her wriggling, and actually took a moment to think about the answer.

"Because…I...I don't wanna…the soap's gonna get in my eyes…and I don't like-" Bridgett started to whimper before Frankie seized seized her opportunity.

"No one likes that, sweetie…but if you take your baths, then you get all dirty, right?" she pointed out.

"….Yeah." came the reluctant answer. "But-"

"And if you get dirty, then you start to get stinky…right? Stinky like garbage, right?"

The child couldn't help but crack at smile at the silly imagery. "Uh-huh…"

"And if you get all stinky…then it won't be a lot of fun to be around you, huh? No one likes hanging around stinky people…not me, not daddy, not Mac, not Wilt, not Goo…and if no one wants to hang around you, then how can we do _this_?" Masterfully Frankie went in for the kill, and for the second time Bridgett found herself the direct target of an all-out tickle attack on her exposed belly.

"Yeeeeek! Heeheeheehee! No more, no more, no more!" the child's squeals echoed loudly throughout the room.

As the little one hastily capitulated, her mother smirked victoriously and asked, "Are we going get all upset for no good reason anymore?"

"N-no!" came the quick reply, earning her a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"That's my girl." Frankie cooed as she affectionately nuzzled the child, who was all giggles once again. "Not going to let a bit of soap in our eyes bother us, won't it? No we won't! No we won't, because we're-"

"Give it a rest, already!" Bloo suddenly could take it no longer, and blurted out in utter disgust from where he had taken cover from behind the couch, thus effectively killing the tender moment. Like that, the others promptly descended into baffled silence as they all shot the blob confused glances.

"Hey, what the heck is your problem?" Goo immediately inquired as she cocked her head curiously at the clearly nauseated imaginary friend. "Who stuck a bag of bees in your underwear, huh? Well? When you weren't looking, who snuck in and shoved a whole nest inside your tightie-whities and then-"

"Come on, didn't you see that?" Bloo protested. "Frankie was all 'oh, I wuv you, mushy, mushy goo-goo!' Tell me you weren't about ready to go grab a barf bag! Seriously!"

"What's wrong?" Bridgett whimpered worriedly, earning her a quick reassuring hug.

"Nothing, Bloo's just being very….'silly'…again. That's" her mother sighed before telling the revolted blob, "Look Mister Stomach-of-Steel, I can't really do much about you getting grossed out, because in case you forgot, _I'm_ a mom, and tough beans, I'm the kind who actually enjoys showing her kids she loves them."

"But between you and all the cutesy-smutesy-wutesy stuff that was going on _before_ you got here, that was like, _total_ overload!" the stubborn little imaginary friend argued. "I mean, you should've seen it! You have noidea how unnecessary it was for you to-"

"Yes, Blooragard Q. Kazoo, that's _exactly_ right." The redheaded woman only replied dryly. "There's truly nothing so terrible as the love of a family. You definitely hit the nail on the head there."

"Just calm down, all right?" Mac laughed as he gave his unbelievable creation a pat on the head. "And we play like that with Bridgett all the time, so you really don't need freak out about that."

As soon as it became quite obvious that literally no one cared on smidgeon for his grievances, Bloo put on a sour scowl and crossed his stubby arms as he reluctantly went quiet, though not without adding with a grumble, "Well…least it's not half as bad as what you and Frankie used to be like."

"Come on, don't-" before Frankie could utter another word of protest, to her surprise Mac opened his mouth, as if to say something. However, as soon as her emerald eyes darted his way, he immediately clammed up.

"_What_?" she demanded as she cocked her head curiously at him.

"Uh…nothing." The boy stammered lamely, despite the fact that he knew just how futile it was to try and pull the wool over her eyes.

"Don't try and pull a fast one on me!" she shot back. "C'mon, what is it? What were you going to say?"

"I…well…it's just..." Mac fumbled over his words as he averted his gaze. "Well...it's just that...y'know..."

"See? _See_?" Bloo immediately piped up triumphantly. "See? I'm not the only one who thinks you two used to get all super-mushy!"

"No, it's just…well....yeah, actually…" his creator relented after stammering like a nitwit. "I…kinda agree with him on that…"

"…And just what is _that_ supposed to mean, mister?" his "mother" demanded as she gave him a mock stern glare.

Mac rolled his eyes. "Be serious! C'mon, you know! Sometimes get a _little_ over the top with all the-"

"Oh, that's right, I remember the total monster that I once was." Frankie countered. "Good-night kisses, hugs and kisses when you left for school, another hug when you returned home, more of the same if you were upset…oh, the horror! The horror of it all!"

"I'm not saying that was bad or anything, I'm only saying that you used to go just a little overboard with it!" Mac struck back.

"_That_ actually upset you?" his parent exclaimed incredulously, while Bridgett grew anxious yet again.

"…You don't like Mommy?" she squeaked confusedly."

"What? No, no!" Mac hastily reassured the tot. "It's just…I mean, even when I got older, you still would treat me like I was only a little kid-"

"Pal, honestly." Frankie sighed. "I don't think that-"

"Yeah! Uh-huh! Right! He's totally right! Yeah-huh!" Goo suddenly chimed in. "Don't lie, Frankie! Whenever you dropped him off at school, if he tried to go straight inside with just saying 'goodbye', you'd be all like 'nuh-uh-uh, no way, no way,' and you'd make him give you a big ol' hug, every single time _ever_, and she'd never never ever let go until she gave you a big fat kiss on your forehead, and you had no choice ever if you wanted the big fat kiss or not, because she was so much stronger than you were, and a lot bigger than you were, which isn't saying that she's not bigger than you anymore, but _more_ so back then! And sometimes, it didn't matter if you were doing something like picking us up at school because you were running errands at the time or something like that and there was a whole lot of people around, because even though Mac would get all sorta kinda embarrassed about it, you would _still_ give him a big fat huge hug and a kiss! Uh-huh!"

Just when Mac thought he found on ally, however, she gleefully submitted to temptation and began babbling, "But don't think _you're_ totally off the hook here! It's not like you were always like, 'no, no, no, not that, anything but that,' but you liked it, yeah-huh! Sooooo much, which isn't like, weird or anything because you're family, but just saying that every time Frankie was all ready to give you a hug, most of the time you hugged her right back without saying anything! Don't deny it! I remember, there'd be days like you'd be all down in the dumps, then once we got home from school Frankie would be right there, ready to give you a super-big hug, and then you'd be all like nothing ever, ever, ever, happened, and…"

As she chattered on and on, Bloo made just another face in revulsion as the cutesy memories started to flood his mind. "Seriously, do you _have_ to remind us?"

"Okay…look, I'm not going to say none of that happened." Mac continued to argue doggedly as he hoped his embarrassed blush didn't become too noticeable. "It's just that sometimes, it was…a little bit too much. Y'know, I'm only getting older-"

"Oh yes, you're _such_ the old fogy now." Frankie teased, causing Bridgett to squeak with laughter. "You used to say it all the time; we're family, so there's _nothing_ wrong with-"

"There was something wrong when you would treat me like a total baby!" he argued doggedly.

"Maybe you felt that way," she granted, "But if you ask me, I think you're-"

"But still…okay, you _have_ to admit…I mean, _how_ long did it take for you to stop insisting on good-night kisses?" the boy pointed out. "Even when I started telling you I was getting too old for that, you still kept doing that until-"

"So…you're saying you miss those?" Frankie asked as she sprouted a mischievous grin.

"What? _No_!" In an instant it became more that obvious to the agitated teenager that she wasn't even trying to sincerely argue with him on anything; if anything, she was only milking this all for a bit of fun, to his dismay. "Come on, all I just wanted to say was that you used to-"

"Aw, my poor little guy…" Frankie only cooed jokingly. "Sounds like someone thinks he's going to have trouble getting to sleep tonight unless he-"

As Goo burst out tittering uncontrollably at the sight, Mac whined anxiously as his cheeks went flush, "Hey…hey come on, you know I don't like it when you act like-"

"But butt it's only family, Mac!" Goo reminded him in a singsong tone of voice. "Nothing wrong with-"

"Okay, forget about it! Just forget about it!" the frantic boy hastily began gesturing like mad for them to cut it out. "Look, forget I said anything, okay? Just-"

"Hey, you know what? Seeing how it's starting to get a little late…and there's no rule saying I can't get my goodnight kisses in a little early in the evening, isn't there?" Frankie giggled as she tried to make her tone as nauseatingly sweet as possible. "How about that, so I don't forget later?"

"What? Oh, no way!" Mac yelped as he swiftly sensed an incredibly embarrassing moment speeding his way like a freight train. "Forget about it! I told you, _forget_ about it!"

"Nighty-night kissy-kisses all around for my little ones!" she announced in a sickeningly sweet fashion that far from how one would expect the President of an institution like Foster's to behave. "One for you…"

After pecking Bridgett lovingly upon the cheek, getting a happy squeak out of the child, she gently passed off the little girl to Goo before turning to her adopted eldest with a wickedly mischievous grin. "_Your_ turn!"

"_Augh_! Wait, wait, _don't_!" Once it was clear she was going to stop at nothing at affectionately embarrassing him, Mac took off with a yelp with the redhead in close pursuit.

"C'mon, kiddo, just like old times!" she laughed as once again, the room housed a ludicrous chase that would expect to find only in cartoons. "Cmere!"

"No! No! No, no, no, no! Please!" Mac cried out as he rapidly went as red as beetroot. "Stop! Just stop it! Stop! _Stop_!"

"He's going around the couch! Quick, cut him off!" Goo hooted with glee at the ridiculous sight. "Quickquickquickquick, gogogogogo!"

"Get him, Mommy!" Bridgett shouted as she joyfully clapped he little hands.

"Cut that out!" Mac begged shamelessly as they rounded the sofa again. "That's not helping!"

"Hey, move those legs! Move it! Move it!" Bloo was the only one rooting for his best friend, which he did so quite frantically. "Come on, she's gaining!"

"I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna getcha!" Frankie cackled merrily as if playing tag with a toddler. "C'mere! I'm gonna getcha!"

"Wait, no, no-_WAUGH_!" Mac cried out on last time before she finally decided to stop toying with him and bring the ludicrous pursuit to an end. Without warning, she picked up the pace and easily ensnarled him in a tight squeeze. Quickly, Mac shut his eyes tightly as she drew her catch in close…and did nothing more than give him a warm hug.

"…Only kidding, pal." She whispered happily before bursting out laughing as soon as she realized that his cheeks had turned so scarlet, they nearly matched her hair color.

"You go a pretty long way to just kid around." He groaned miserably as she give him one more affectionate squeeze before releasing her hold.

"Can I help it that embarrassing your kids is one of the best perks of being a parent?" She only chortled as she plodded back over to Goo, who was doing a very poor job of suppressing her mirth.

"You could try." Mac reasonably pointed out.

"Yeah, but there's no fun in that." Frankie laughed before taking charge. "Okay, enough messing around. To make sure we all don't waste half the night here tormenting each other, I think _someone_ still needs to take her bath."

"Aw…" her daughter immediately let out a low whine of disappointment over the fact that she still remembered. "Do I?"

"Like I said, we can't have you being a stinky little mess, can we?" Frankie reminded before looking to Goo and announcing dutifully, "Good thing that it's summer and the days are longer. Seeing how it's a school night, I think a little Miss Chatterbox needs to-"

"I know, I know, I was just about to bike on home, don't worry! No problem! Not at all" Goo chirped as she gave everyone a wave. "Bye! See you all tomorrow!"

"Say bye-bye." Frankie cooed to Bridgett, who needed do second bidding and waved furiously in reply as the teenage girl skipped over to Mac and grinned at him broadly from ear to ear.

"See you in the morning." She bade with a coy smile before puckering up.

"Ew, don't tell me after everything else you're seriously gonna-_hey_! Hey! Oh, c'mon, _now_ I can't see!" Bloo started whining as Frankie wordlessly clapped a free hand over the eyes of the ever-frustrating little blob, successfully preventing him from watching the quick peck Goo dotted his creator's cheek with.

"Bye, Goo." Mac said softly with an uncontrollable smile as she headed for the foyer. Once she vanished from sight, leaving the odd little family alone to get ready and turn in for the night, Frankie couldn't help but smirk at her charge, "So…it's just fine if you get a kiss from your sweetheart, but as soon as _I_ try to-"

"That's…that's _different_." Mac protested as he averted his gaze a little, while Frankie just burst out chortling as she affectionately ruffled his hair.

"Don't worry, I'm still just teasing." She chuckled.

"All the mushy gunk is the same, if you ask me." Bloo commented to himself, which the others promptly ignored. As they all started heading together in a little pack for the main staircase, Mac couldn't help but grimace apologetically.

"I…I'm sorry if I was a little…y'know, rough with-" Before he could go any further, Frankie transferred Bridgett to one arm and drew the boy close into another quick hug.

"It's okay, we were only joking. Besides, it's not like you're the only one who's been telling me that. It wasn't like Kathy's been drilling the fact that I'm a bit much into my brain for years."

"Forgot about that." As Mac returned the embrace quickly before they continued on their way.

"It's all right, Mac. I know, you're growing up whether I like it or not-" Frankie went on.

"Not!" Bridgett squeaked, thinking her mother was asking a question and getting a burst of laughter out of the others.

"Guess we can't argue with _that_." Mac joked as together they strode into the foyer and headed upstairs.

* * *

"Pal?"

Frankie inquired softly with a gentle knock on the door in a hushed tone. After waiting for a few seconds without any response, she cautiously opened the door and took a peek. Once she came face-to-face with the darkness that enveloped the lightless bedroom interior her eyes picked up the audible, rhythmic breathing of someone in a deep sleep, it quickly became clear that Mac had long since called it an early night.

For a few moments the nightgown-garbed woman just remained where she stood in the doorway, waiting patiently for her emerald eyes to adjust. After briefly checking on the very dozy five-year-old that was leaning heavily against her shoulder, Frankie slowly tiptoed across the floor until she was at Mac's bedside. After carefully pulling up the sheets around the slumbering teen, she paused for another second to see if he would wake up or not.

When nothing happened, she whispered softly, "Mac?"

Still, no response. Again, she calmly waited for a few moments, as if she had done this dozens of times before. Finally, she inquired a little louder, "Mac? Mac?"

Again, no reply at all. Once it became apparent that nothing was going to awaken him anytime soon, the redhead woman couldn't help but break out grinning. Moving with the ease that only experience could provide, she gently brushed some of Mac's aside, then planted a quick but tender good-night kiss upon his forehead.

"Love you, pal." She whispered as she slowly began to back away. To her slight surprise however, a soft giggle suddenly rang in her ear, and a moment later Frankie remembered that Bridgett hadn't fully fallen completely asleep, seeing how the extremely sleepy little girl was looking straight at her through sagging, half-shut eyelids and grinning dozily at her crafty mother.

Smiling warmly at the child, Frankie held a finger to her own lips and whispered softly to the little one as they exited the room. "Let's just keep this our little secret, okay?"

**The End **


	35. All's Absurd, Chapter 1

To say the very least, it's been quite a while since I've done this, and to be frank I personally didn't even expect to find myself back here. However, as I've recently rediscovered, writing these stories are still both enjoyable and relaxing for me, and thus as a result this little multi-chaptered little work was born a few weeks ago. And so now that I have this sitting on my computer, I figured I might as well upload it and add it to the others (hence why I'm tossing it in here with "all the rest").

It's not much, just a little work that could probably be best classified as a mix of comedy/romance, still starring everyone from my old series (if anyone actually reads those anymore after all these ages). I'll be uploading it several chapters over the course of the week. And so, I hope you all enjoy this minor foray of mine back into the fanfiction genre.

- Dude13

* * *

**All's Absurd in Love and Relationships** -_ Chapter 1_

" Another day of action, adventure, danger and...uh...adventure!"

The little blob yelled heroically as he prepared himself for his latest foray into the unknown, dramatically self-narrating all the while. "Here goes Montana Blooragard, explorer extraordinaire! What dangers will he face on this most epic of epic-est quest? Only time will tell as he decides to search for the fabled underwater city of riches; Atlantic City! Oh, the perils that wait for our hero! But Montana Blooragard fears nothing, not even the mighty seas themselves! And so, he now dives boldly into the stormy wa-"

"Oh, _no_ you don't." Before the azure figment could clamber into one of the laundry room's many washing machines, a pair of green-sleeved arms plucked him off with all-too-casual ease. Not surprisingly, Bloo immediately erupted fussily into a flurry of protests.

"Noooo! Frankieeeee, stop it! Stop it!" he whined unhappily, his fun thoroughly spoiled. "You have no sense of adventure, woman! You hear me? Riches like you won't believe are just waiting for us to-"

"Uh huh, sure." Frances "Frankie" Foster replied, only half paying attention to his outrage. "There's _so_ much sunken underwater gold here, just like that the treasure that you found in here before."

"If you _know_ that, then just what do you think you're doing?" he yelped indignantly, not picking up so much as a smidgeon of her sarcasm. "I found a whole dime here yesterday, and that's just the start of-"

"No, enough is enough. Shoo! Shoo!" the young woman put him down and gave him a little push out into the hallway. "Go play video games with Ed, or something. But no more underwater explorer, okay? I am through with this, _end_ of story. Got it?"

"I was gonna be just fine." Bloo murmured huffily, deeply stung by the self-perceived injustice of it all. "Montana Blooragard is _always_ prepared. You'll see when I'll be ba-"

"That's what _you_ think." Moving quickly, Frankie nabbed the snorkel clean off of his face, and before he could voice his dismay any further, she hastily closed the laundry room door shut. "_Yeesh_! I swear..."

Contraband in hand, she plodded back to her lanky towering companion and wordlessly handed the underwater gear over. Wilt put down the sheet he had been folding, took it from her hands and placed it on a nearby shelf, right next to the two other confiscated snorkels they had seized earlier in the day.

"We have _got_ to figure out where he keeps getting those." The young woman said resolutely before she grabbed an armful of wet bed sheets and started to load up one of the dryers.

"Maybe we can just let him play in one of the bathtubs, or something." Wilt suggested with an optimistic grin. Frankie gently shot the idea right down.

"No, because he found the 'dime' in here, remember?" she reminded, shaking her head in disbelief at the blue figment's claim.

"...But I thought that was just a Monopoly piece." Wilt said confusedly.

"I know! And they don't even look like coins! But even since he found the top hat in here, he keeps telling me that-"

Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by a low but audible rumble. Neither paid it too much heed, having both heard the weather forecast at the start of the day. However, once a particular realization suddenly sank in, Frankie promptly froze in alarm before checking her wristwatch.

"Frankie? You okay?" Wilt asked curiously, easily noticing her abrupt change in demeanor. However, she didn't utter so much as word as she suddenly bolted out of the room. Moving in a flash of emerald and scarlet, she dashed for the nearest window, and took stock of the situation. Outside, the heavens had opened wide and almost night-black clouds had started to douse the land in a fierce downpour.

As another growl of thunder erupted from the skies, Frankie looked at the time again and confirmed her feats. If all was going as normal, then Mac and Goo gotten out of school and had just started their walk to Foster's. Or at least they were probably trying to get to the house, were it not for the veritable deluge that was now standing in their way.

"What is it?" Wilt gasped as he caught up with her and skidded to a halt with a shrill squeak of basketball shoes. "Hey, what's going on-"

"Shoot! Gotta go, gotta get 'em!" she gave out a panicky shout, and was off like a speeding bullet. Soon hallways, stairwells and house residents alike became little more than a massive blur, for by this point the redhead had practically transformed into maternal instinct incarnate.

"Miss Frances? Miss Frances!" barked a finely attired rabbit the instant he spotted her dashing along. "Good heavens, young lady, just where are you off to in such a frantic rush? Have you finished tending to the-"

It was a full three seconds before Mr. Herriman realized he was talking to empty space. He spun around just in time to watch a crimson ponytail vanish from sight as the house estate manager began to ascend the last staircase to the foyer. Seconds later, she was standing by a large dresser, hurriedly wrestling the bus keys off their hook.

"Oh, come _on_! Seriously?" she exclaimed breathlessly as the windows lit up with a brilliant flash, which was followed by yet another thunderous roar. Now, ti seemed like Mother Nature was purposely trying to throw her into even more of a nervous frenzy. Without even pausing to grab a jacket or even an umbrella, she sprinted headlong for the door.

She definitely wasn't about to win any awards for driver safety, but right now all that mattered was picking up Mac and Goo as soon as she could before they had to make the whole,(and currently very treacherous) walk to Foster's all by themselves in the rain. After all, caring was both the cornerstone of her job and nature; the latter even more so when one of the people in trouble was her very own adopted child. She probably was about to burn wet rubber on the roads, but as long as she could pick them up at before they became completely drenched to the bone, then-

"WHOA!"

"Heyheyhey! Watch it!"

The two children erupted into a chorus of surprised cries as the front doors of the house suddenly flew open, allowing the frantic redhead to zip out and nearly run them over right there on the front porch. Without stopping for an instant, Frankie just yelled absentmindedly as she dashed headlong towards the bus. "Sorry guys, but I gotta go pick you up!"

"_What_?" Mac called out, pulling down the hood of his raincoat as he watched his guardian dash off like a lunatic into the unwelcoming weather. Frankie has actually made it halfway before she stumbled to a halt with a splash of muddy water. After craning her head around, she simply stood gawked confusedly at the little ones for a few seconds, regardless of the fat droplets that now pelted her mercilessly.

Another jagged bolt of lightening tore through the darkened skies above, quickly knocking the now somewhat soggy young woman back to her senses. Hastily she zipped back under the porch, joining the others with a gasp of relief. "_There_ you are!"

"Well yeah of _course_ it's us. I mean, duh! Who else is gonna show up now in super-super meganasty weather like this?" Goo automatically erupted with a river of fast-paced chatter. "I mean, you gotta be like a fish, or at least an amphibian to get around now right now in these super, super wet roads, and I don't think any speckled salamanders or Amazonian tree frogs, would want to adopt an imaginary friend, although actually when you think about it a little more, it really wouldn't be _that_ weird if we saw a Mexican burrowing toad come here trying to..."

"Are you okay?" Mac cut through the thick hail of his friend's words as Frankie gave her now waterlogged ponytail a shake, showering everyone in a light spray. The caretaker then planted on a reassuring smile as she tried to recompose herself.

"Yeah, just a little wet, no problem...but...well, what about _you_?" she looked at her watch for the umpteenth time and cocked her head, hardly able to believe her eyes. "How'd you two get here so soon? School ended just a couple of minutes ago, and there's _no_ way that you could even run here so fast."

Her answer came almost immediately in the form of a semi-shrill yelp of dismay. "_DANG IT_!"

Together the three turned their attention to a young man who, while trying to make the dash up the walk from his car, had managed to step in a newly formed puddle, which greedily engulfed his foot almost right up to the ankle. After reflexively giving the veritable mini-lake a futile kick of frustration, and thus wetting his other shoe in the process, he gripped his battered umbrella tightly and finished the frantic rush.

"Rudy?" Frankie said incredulously. Though he was now a bit weather-battered, there was no mistaking the man she had now been successfully dating for nearly three months and counting. After wiping some excess water from his face, he sheepishly smiled.

"Hey, Frankie. Uh...sorry for just dropping in so suddenly, it's just-"

"He gave us a ride over." Mac explained. "We just walked outside when he pulled up, and-"

"And then we listened to Adele on the drive over, and I think he likes her almost as much as I do!" Goo squealed excitedly, and as soon as she revealed the unimportant but embarrassing detail, the young man's face promptly fell a bit as his last remaining shred of dignity was snatched away.

""Yeah...um, really wasn't any need to bring that up." he muttered, still trying to keep on a grin despite his now hefty embarrassment.

Mac only managed to half-sniffle a snort of laughter, but at least he did a better job than his adoptive parent, who burst out giggling uncontrollably.

"Th-thank" she managed to suppress her snickering long enough to speak. "I was just about to go and try and pick them up. Seriously! Did you two remember do tell him too?"

"Thank you!" the children did as the woman bid, and Rudy waved it off with a smile.

"It's nothing! Now get inside; stay out here much longer, and you'll end up growing gills." he chuckled as the little ones scampered inside, leaving the two young adults alone out on the porch.

Grateful as she was, Frankie also couldn't help but be a little bit perplexed by the act of kindness. "So...what brought you by the school? I actually didn't think that you lived near there. Are you even off work yet?"

"No, I'm still on the clock. I was actually just was making a house call now." he explained, and Frankie immediately nodded understandingly. Rudy was one of the overworked men and women toiling on the front lines for the local branch of Child and Family Services.

"What is it? Something good for once?" she clasped her hands and inquired hopefully, all too aware of the nasty messes he could personally experience while on the job.

"Well actually, it is." He answered, his relief obvious. "A little girl, just over a year old. She was originally found abandoned at the police station, but thankfully her foster family have really taken to her. I was actually going to give them a run-through of adoption procedures, and-"

"Oh, that's fantastic! And you went out of the way to get the kids here first? You shouldn't have." The young woman gushed, touched by it all.

"I told, you, I was just driving by, and the clouds looked just about ready to burst. It's not a problem." He humbly deflected the praise, which promptly earned him a damp hug.

"Oooh, you are too good! Let me return the favor a little." Frankie said excitedly. "I'm probably going to get saddled with a pretty big list of errands tomorrow, so I'll be running around downtown. If you want, I could pick up lunch for you and drop it off at the office-"

No sooner had she suggested this when his eyes suddenly widened, and he almost violently sputtered out a hasty, "N-no!"

Of course, immediately he realized just how oddly strong that answer came out, and quickly began to correct himself. "I mean...no, it's okay. Seriously, it was no problem driving Mac and Goo, I was running ahead of time anyway."

Mildly taken aback, Frankie cocked her head and gave him a quizzical look. "It's...really no big deal, I could just grab some take-out for you somewhere and drop it off. You still like Taco King, right? I could grab you a couple-"

"No, no, no, it's all right, _really_." He now started to gesture to help punctuate his gentle words of refusal. "I mean, the social service offices are _such_ a maze, I don't want you getting lost trying to find me. Plus, your usual workload is no lighter than mine, and I don't want you to take too much time, just so you can..."

After spilling out several excuses, he finally said with an assuring smile, "Don't worry about it, I was happy to help out."

"Oh...okay." Frankie shrugged, deciding it was best to drop it. "Well, thank you so much for the ride. And the surprise visit was a nice touch too, of course."

"What better place is there to pop in?" he laughed as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "If you can find me a place that tops Foster's, then I'll eat my hat."

"Yes, that very lovely invisible fedora is _so_ you." she returned the playful banter as she playfully ruffled his longish dark brown hair. They shared another laugh before with a nod, he picked up his umbrella and made the dash back to his car. Despite the fact the weather had gotten no better, Frankie remained standing under the porch, until he had successfully, if not too gracefully dived back into his vehicle and drove out of sight.

All the while she waved and smiled thankfully. However, once Rudy was gone, it wasn't long until the corners of her lips flipped direction, and in no time a frown was gracing her face from cheek to cheek.

"Not _again_." she whispered softly to herself, the dread in her tone absolutely unmistakable.

* * *

Not even getting ready for bed afforded her so much as a minute's escape from her anxieties. As Frankie brushed her teeth, she replayed the events of her boyfriend's visit for what must have been at least the thirtieth time. Like with all the others times. as soon as she picked over the memory again, she couldn't help but grimace anxiously. To put it bluntly, the whole thing had left her stressed for the rest of the day.

It wasn't just the simple fact that her boyfriend had refused her offer to deliver lunch to him at work tomorrow. Had it been only that, she'd be nowhere near as upset. Unfortunately, such was not the case. Today's odd little conversational incident was actually just another small part of what appeared to part of a greater, and extremely unsettling trend.

Since they had been going out, Rudy was always more than happy to spend time with her out at a local restaurant, the movies, or especially just stopping by to hang out at the house. Yet as soon as she even so much as suggested as going to his apartment, or even stopping by to visit him at his workplace, the reaction was usually the same. Either he steered the conversation in another direction, or took up several minutes in what would eventually become an absurdly roundabout "no."

Her brow furrowed a bit as she mulled over the puzzling pattern. It had taken her some time to figure out. In fact, it had only been just a couple days ago before she put the pieces just what was going on? All the none too subtle hints all seemed to chorus that he was keeping _something_ away from her. But if that was true then just what on earth could it be? With that exception, he hardly behaved much like the secretive type, and usually was not one to hold anything back. Well, save for his history with his somewhat mental ex-girlfriend who caused a minor fuss early on in the relationship, where-

Frankie paused her brushing for a moment to rest her head against the mirror with a groan. Okay, so with _that_ to keep in mind, he actually was more than capable of holding a secret. He definitely wasn't all too skilled at keeping suspicion from being aroused, but at least he could hide a sizable truth or two when he wanted to.

The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to know. After all, besides this, the relationship had been near...well, undeniably better than anything else she had before, which just made her all the more fretful than-

Her descent into the maddening jumble of her mind to a screeching halt once she spotted the mop of brown hair in the mirror, which quickly brought to light the fact that she was no longer alone in the bathroom. Now as he stood by her side, Mac gazed up at her in perplexed silence. In a flash it became too clear that while getting lost in her thoughts, she had still been absentmindedly brushing her teeth the entire time for what was definitely far longer than the acceptable norm.

"Um...you done yet?" he asked. Frankie quickly spat and rinsed.

"Yeah! I mean...yeah, they're...sorry, pal, just a little preoccupied. I was thinking about...uh, yeah..." After coming up with the underwhelming non-answer, she switched the subject as she washed her toothbrush.

"Well...I just wanted to say goodnight." Mac replied, not mentioning the fact that he had also successfully brushed, flossed and washed his face too all while Frankie had been mentally checked out.

"Oh, right! No problem. G'night, Mac." She got down on one knee for the customary goodnight hug. Mac instinctively returned the warm hold, and as his little arms wrapped around her, she couldn't help but feel somewhat at ease for the first time since the afternoon. Unfortunately, the comforting little family moment was short-lived, and just a few seconds later Mac was breaking the embrace.

"Goodnight!" he chirped before plodding off to bed. Frankie fixed on a temporary smile and replied back in what she felt was a convincingly comforting tone.

"Seeya in the morning, pal." She called after him before she found herself once again all alone with her worries, which were now being served up alongside a fresh helping of embarrassment on the side. Frankie took a glance at the mirror, and a none-too-happy young woman gazed right back, with a frown that reached from cheek to cheek. As a heavy sigh escaped her lips, she flipped the bathroom light off and trooped off to her own room.

If anything was clear already, she definitely wasn't going to fix a thing if she just let herself get wrapped up in the tangle of her own mind. If there was one thing that she needed, it was someone to talk it all out to hopefully help her make a little more sense of her anxious suspicions. Unfortunately, she wasn't quite sure if anyone in the house was even close to capable of understanding her troubles. Frankly she felt like she barely understood them either.

Fortunately, her options weren't completely limited, she mentally noted with relief as she fetched her cell phone, and clicked the speed dial.

"Hello?" A familiar voice answered from the other end after a few rings.

"Kathy?" Frankie skipped formalities and rapidly got to the point. "Hi...sorry to bug you like this, but...well, I think I need a little bit of help with something."

"...Uh...and that is...?" her friend replied a little impatiently after waiting nearly ten seconds for clarification.

"It's...it's actually kinda hard to explain like this." Frankie confessed. "Actually, I was wondering if...well maybe after work tomorrow you could swing by the house, and we could just...chat a little."

"Well...okay, I'd be fine with trying that." her friend replied cautiously, not sure at all where this was all heading. "But...I dunno, are you sure you just can't tell me no-"

"Tonight we had pasta with marina sauce for dinner." Frankie interrupted, switching tactics and going for temptation instead. "There's two big Tupperware containers of it in the fridge now, and they're _both_ yours if you can come."

At first, there was nothing but silence from the hand. Before the redhead could grow concerned however, the receiver lit up with a fit of laughter.

"One of these days I'll learn to enjoy cooking for myself. Until then, since you put it _that_ way..."


	36. All's Absurd, Chapter 2

"...Please just tell me that you're just pulling my leg here." The young woman groaned as she gripped a handful of her curly jet-black locks and gave them an aggravated tug. "_Please_."

Frankie opened her mouth, and for a moment it looked like she was about to say something. However, after searching in vain for a suitable reply, she finally shut her lips tight, shuffled nervously on top of her stool and just gave an embarrassed shrug, much to her friend's obvious dismay.

"No." Kathy whined as she started to shake her head. "No...oh, c'mon, _no_! No, no, no, _no_! There's no way you actually _mean_ any of this right now, right?"

"Kath, I-" Frankie finally found her voice, but was rapidly cut off by her friend's relentless bombardment of protest.

"This...this is just a joke, right? Some terrible, awful joke..._right_?" she asked hopefully. "Honestly, I will get down on my knees right now and beg if that's what it's going to take for you to admit it."

"It's not a joke!" the now irritated redhead insisted snappily. Almost immediately Kathy buried her face in her arms atop the countertop and let out an over-dramatic moan of dismay that echoed throughout Foster's expansive kitchen.

"Ohhhhh, you have got to be _kidding_ me." She grumbled. "Can you at least lie and tell me that this is just a bad start to your new stand-up act?"

"_Kathy_!" Frankie said pleadingly. "C'mon, can you just knock it off for a few seconds? I really need you to be serious here."

"Serious? _Serious_? Oh, for the love of..." Kathy took another sip of coffee before continuing to voice her skyrocketing disbelief. "How on earth did you really expect me to be serious about _this_? If you think _this_ counts as anything even vaguely resembling an actual problem, then you are totally mist-"

"But I-"

"No."

"I-"

"Nope"

"Ka-"

"_No_!" Kathy kept stubbornly interrupting, until finally Frankie managed to sputter out in one frustrated breath,

"!"

This got the other woman to go silent for a moment, even if it was just because she needed some time to decipher the cluster of words. Seizing her opportunity, Frankie attempted to grab the reins of the discussion again. "I think that Rudy-"

"And you are both _fine_." Kathy finished definitively with an annoyed scowl, now just barely tolerating the discussion at this point "For once in your life, everything is completely _fine_."

"No, we are _not_." Frankie persisted stubbornly, as her friend rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink. "I told you, there is something else going on here-"

"How?" he bewildered friend begged. "How can you even _say_ that? You've been so happy with...well, everything! It's all just been going so well for you two."

"Yeah, but..." Frankie paused, all-too aware of how absurd she was about to sound. "Actually, when I really think about it, now it kinda feels like it's going...almost _too_ well."

The silence that followed was almost deafening. Kathy looked so stunned that it looked like her jaw was going to hit the floor and end up in the cellar.

"...What in the world is _wrong_ with you?" she finally found her voice again. "Are you half-Grinch on your mother's side? Now since when did you start hating happiness?"

Frankie began to fidget with her ponytail and frowned apologetically. So far, she had done a pretty poor job of trying to garner much sympathy. "I'm sorry, there's no better way to say that-"

"Earth to Miss Frances Bridgett Foster, you're being totally and completely cockamamie here. Has it ever occurred to you that you may actually have the right to enjoy yourself in life?"

"I know..." the redheaded woman groaned. "But...I dunno...maybe I really have just gotten so up in my own head about nothing, but..."

She trailed off, and for a minute she just chewed softly on her lower lip and gazed at the muddled reflection in her coffee. Finally, she took a long, deep breath before continuing somberly. "But I can't help it. I feel like something could be wrong...and now I only feel that even more so because almost everything else has been almost been too good to be true."

Kathy was just about to respond with another snappy comeback, but managed some self-restraint once she saw the deep worry lining her friend's expression. She shook her head softened her tone a bit. "Can't you just accept that you're going out with someone nice for once? So maybe he really just doesn't want you going out of you way to grab him lunch. So _what_? Is this _really_ worth stressing over?"

"Yesterday was only part of it! Trust me, I really, _really_ want to just leave it at that, and be _done_ with all these stupid suspicions." Frankie declared, looking frustrated. "But I can't. I mean, everything was so great at first that I didn't think about it, but come on and just _think_ about it for a moment. First of, he is keeping something from me-"

"You just _think_ that." The other woman fired back with a quick counterpoint, to which the redhead only rolled her eyes as she continued.

"He _is_, I know it. And now it's all kind of starting making sense. Yes, everything else has been great...but how much of _that_ is he actually being honest about? How do I know he's not just saying some things to throw me off? I know what he tells me, but...well, think about it, just _who_ genuinely is perfectly okay with someone like _me_?"

"Oh c'mon, give him _some_ credit Miss Ultra-Suspcious." Kathy argued gently. "Are you still worried about the whole 'twenty-three and already a mom' thing? In case you forgot, he and I are social workers. Our entire jobs are based off dealing with less than orthodox family situations. He's known _that_ since day one."

"Okay, well that I can understand." Frankie conceded. "But what happens when you take Mac out of the picture? What do you have left?"

Her friend wanted absolutely nothing more than to paint a rosy picture. Unfortunately, Frankie's expression made it all too clear that she was going to only accept one answer to her own question, and by the looks of it, it wasn't going to be pretty. "Uh..."

"Let's be honest here, okay? Long before Mac, I've _never_ had the easiest time with boyfriends. You know why? Because just look at me. Look at all _this_!" she threw her arms up and pointed all about the room. "This house, and my life. I am still the girl who grew up with imaginary friends, works with imaginary friends, and...I mean, who am I kidding? Just look at all the help that the rabbit and Wilt gave grandma when I was a kid! I was practically _raised_ by imaginary friends. Oh yeah, like _that's_ the gal all the guys will be chasing after."

"Frankie, don't-" Kathy tried to find a half-decent counterpoint, but quickly went quiet again as she dug deep through her thoughts, only to come up bust. As much as she hated to admit it, Frankie had a point. She hadn't exactly thought too hard about this before, but then again she had never attempted to date her best friend.

Once it became obvious that the other young woman couldn't find a suitable objection, Frankie folded her arms and argued her case further. "And now let's just top that with...I don't even know _where_ to begin. Should I start with my anger issues? Or the fact that I _volunteered _to become the parent about a year ago?"

"You...uh..." Kathy just grunted stupidly, completely unsure of what else to say before finally sighing in resignation. "I dunno, pick your own toppings, I guess."

"Rudy's been so sweet and understanding, but now that I'm thinking more about it..." Frankie groaned. "Now it all just seems fishy. How many guys seriously have absolutely zero reservations of _any_ of that?"

Unsure of where to start, her friend tried again to steer the conversation in a lighter direction. As she fiddled with her mug, she attempted to start small. "Okay, so maybe you have a bit of a temper problem-"

"A bit?" Frankie let loose with bitter laugh. "If I get physical on a date, then that probably means I tried to punch someone. Guys like girls with a nice smile; not the ones with a nasty right hook. "

"Well aren't _you_ just the model of self-confidence right now?" Kathy muttered dryly, through with trying to be comforting.

Thankfully, the sarcastic barb did just the trick. Successfully knocked down a notch, Frankie settled down a little and flashed an apologetic smile.

"Okay, I get it...but _still_ though, you have to admit it's hard not to be worried. I get how the kid thing isn't a big deal for Rudy. But now how can I be just fine with a guy who _also_ says all the time he doesn't care about the imaginary friend deal either, when those that thing alone has helped end almost every other relationship? It doesn't add up. Something weird is going on here. There's something that I'm missing, and-"

"Can you stop it with the pity-party here?" Kathy cut in. "I understand how you can feel a little weirded out, but I seriously don't think that it's been _that_ bad for you."

"Wanna bet?" Frankie replied. Immediately she started to list off a hail of names all too casually. "Jessie, Aden, Peter, Zack, William, Theo, Louis-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Kathy gestured sharply, not sure what to make of any of it. "_What_ are you-"

"Each and every one; either shot me down from the get-go, or tried to get around the imaginary friend thing with no luck." Frankie explained morosely. "Or do you want me to get even more detailed? There was Nick Swarsky in seventh grade; he found out about my crush on him, and afterwards he wouldn't even sit within two tables of me in the lunchroom. Or how about Ben O'Henessy? Remember, freshmen year at college? He took me to that cafe downtown, I told him a little bit more about myself...if took me twenty minutes before I realized he wasn't coming back from that 'bathroom break'. And _then_..."

"I...I..." her friend tried to interject but was at a genuine loss for words as Frankie continued to rattled off example after example, before toning it down a little.

"Don't get me wrong here. This is my home, this is my job, and this is my life. I wouldn't want to give any of it away...but it doesn't make things easy when you're trying to get a guy's number. Kids may like imaginary friends, and adults with kids like them." She explained. "But if you bring _that_ to most of the guys that I've met, then...well, the whole thing isn't really much of a turn on."

"..._No_." Kathy honestly was still having trouble believing it all. "No, I...I know you've had it rough, but there couldn't...okay, there has had to be at least _one_ guy who wasn't phased by the foster home deal. They can't have _all_ been put off by it, could they? At least _one_ guy?"

"There _was_." The caretaker said sourly, and for a moment Kathy saw a glimmer of hope as she seized hold of her opportunity.

"Hey, yeah! I remember, it was a guy who said that he _loved_ imaginary friends, and then...oh." Kathy winced as she finally remembered. "Wait...that was...that was Dylan, right?"

"Yeah-huh." Frankie grumbled. "He wasn't the only one, but he definitely made it sound the most believable. Seriously, the only guys that have ever come out and actually said that they like imaginary friends were only lying through their teeth just so they could try and get some."

"Get some what?" came the curious reply, and unfortunately, Frankie didn't realize that the question came from directly behind her.

"Kathy, _stop_ it with the-" recognition of the voice finally dawned far too late. Frankie froze, and for a moments just stared dead ahead with an unblinking expression of mild panic. Finally, without even turning around she answered in a quaky tone, "Uh...h-hi pal."

Put of a bit by her dismayed reaction, Mac grimaced at his guardian before inquiring meekly, "Did...did I say something wrong?"

"What?" she got off her seat, and began to hastily switch into parenting mode. "Oh...oh, no! No, everything's okay. Kathy stopped by for a little bit, and we were just talking, see?"

"Oh...okay." Mac definitely didn't very convinced by her words. However, the phony smile she had hastily plastered on rather forcibly made him quickly conclude that he really probably shouldn't press the matter further. Yet despite his above-average level of common sense, in the end he was still only a child, and this time couldn't help but let his curiosity get the upper hand for a bit. "...Frankie?"

"Yeah?"

"What does 'get some' mean?" he asked, the very picture of innocence.

Even though her friend had just been pouring out her heart only a minute earlier, Kathy couldn't help but enjoy the comically awkward situation. She bit down on her lip, but that did woefully little to muffle her snort of mirth. Frankie meanwhile just gawked blankly for a few minutes as the cogs of her mind turned furiously.

"It...it means...get some means getting some...some..." She stammered, frantically trying to cobble together a semi-believable excuse.

Meanwhile, Kathy was fast losing the battle against temptation. After making just a half-baked attempt to keep clammed up, the opportunity was just to much to resist. Still trying to stifle a wave of giggles, she grabbed a nearby jar and began adding a few more spoonfuls of its sweet, snow white contents into her coffee as she spoke up, "I think you mean to say that it means _this_."

"Yes!" Frankie agreed, not even thinking as she jumped on her friend's suggestion. "It means getting some sugar, just like..._ackpth_!"

She slapped a hand to her forehead as Kathy burst out squealing with laughter. Mac took one glance to his clearly embarrassed guardian, her tittering friend, and put two and two together; whatever he had walked in on, he hadn't made things any better.

"Yeah...all right." He replied, pretending to buy the confusing answer as the double meaning went soaring over his head.

"Okay, good." Frankie sighed in relief, glad that he was giving her a much needed pass. "You need anything, pal?"

"I was just coming in to get a snack." Moving as quick as could be, she headed to a cupboard and fetched a bag of banana chips. Once she passed them into his waiting hands, the two just stood there for a few uncomfortable moments.

"See you at dinner." Mac finally said before exiting the room, bringing the awkward moment to a badly needed end and leaving his guardian to nurse a mildly mangled ego. It wasn't helping that Kathy was stick snickering uncontrollably like a total nitwit, which in turn got her a piercing stare from the none-too-pleased redhead.

"...You are the _total_ opposite of helpful." Frankie scowled, glaring daggers as she retook her seat. "Seriously, in the last twenty-four hours I've now become 0-2 for weird moments with my kid."

"What? Oh come on!" Kathy tittered, looking quite proud of herself. "That was _golden_, and you know it."

"You're not the one who still has to deal with a confused nine-year-old at the end of the day." said Frankie darkly, as her friend continued sniggering on despite her best efforts to repress it. Once she started to get a slightly better hold of herself, though, something finally dawned.

"That...that was actually _too_ easy." She said, eyes widening in surprise. "Usually you're not so off your mommy game."

"_Thank_ you!" the other woman gasped. "Okay, now we're finally getting somewhere. See? See how worked I am?"

"Yeah...actually, I do." Kathy had to admit, after years of friendship together Frankie usually didn't leave herself so exposed to her mischievous side. "This...this is _really_ bugging you, isn't it?"

"That's an understatement there." Frankie groaned again, now looking like a regular poster girl for stress.

The room rapidly returned its previous somber atmosphere as Kathy attempted to sum everything up. "Okay...so this is what we have so far. You're pretty sure your guy's keeping something from you, right?"

"Yeah...and seeing how well everything else is going...I dunno, something tells me it _has_ to be bad." Frankie muttered morosely. "I know no relationship can be a fairy tale, but for me that always seems to be twice as true. I _never_ have it this good with anyone, not me."

"Okay, okay, we _get_ it already. So just what am _I_ supposed to do here?" Kathy finally asked.

"Just...just for now, see if you can figure out what' amiss here. I don't want you doing too much, but...for now, see what you can find." Frankie explained.

Kathy just stared, feeling frankly confused by these instructions. "And...why can't I just ask him?"

"Because...because even though I feel like something's wrong..." Frankie sighed. "For now, this is _still_ the best I've ever had...and believe me, when I say that. If something's going to blow up, then let's wait a bit."

"...Okay...okay...okay." she finally relented. "I was the one who set you two up; it's only fair to do an extra bit of digging to make sure he totally checks out."

Frankie managed to crack a weak smile at her friend's words. "Really?"

"Well we work at the same place, so not like I'd be going out of my way. Besides...worst comes to worst, maybe if whatever secret he has really is a major relationship killer...well, maybe you can just settle with _me_." Kathy couldn't help but crack playfully in an attempt to cheer up her friend.

"Say what?" Frankie shot her a puzzled look.

"Well yeah." She said, pausing to finish her coffee before remarking cheekily, "I mean, we already argue as much as most married couples."

After pouring out more anxieties and woe than she cared to keep track of, Frankie had to admit, it felt nice to laugh a bit.


	37. All's Absurd, Chapter 3

"_Wait...wait, you home is...huh_?"

"_No, seriously...what do you really do_?"

"_Uh...I...I gotta go now and...um..._"

Dates gone wrong, ex-boyfriends and former crushes; she could see glimpses of them all flashing before her. Some were teenagers, some young men, some just middle school crushes, but they all shared one thing in common. In every unpleasant memory that played out before her, not a single one was handling certain revelations about her personal life very well.

"_You live where? Sorry, I don'__t think I heard you right at first, and…wait, really?"_

"_I...just don't think it's going to work out anymore..._"

"_Meet up again? Well I'd love to, but...uh, I got a thing..._"

What was this? Every single bad date, every memory of every break up were all cycling by around her. In a blink of an eye it was high school again, and she found herself searching in vain for a prom date. Then without warning she's skipped several years forward, going on date after date, sitting in restaurant after restaurant, repeating the same all-too-familiar end.

"_Well that was…uh, nice, but...I think I gotta get going now..."_

"_A...a kid? Wait...and he's how old? How did you...where did you say you're from again?"_

"_So you...um...well, that's...'interesting', I guess...uh..."_

"_Hahaha! No, no way you're...wait, a __family__ picture? Okay, let me see that...oh...oh my God_!"

Suddenly she was at a small Thai place uptown. The young man seated across from her was laughing uproariously at the small photo she had taken from her wallet.

"_Hahahaha! Oh man, what...what is this? You don't just work with them, you...you live with those? Hahaha! Look at that one! Oh God, that one almost looks like a little old lady...what? HA! No, no way she's not one of the friends, there's just no way that...your grandma? Seriously? How can you tell her apart from anyone else there?"_

She knew what was going to follow, and like clockwork this particularly dreadful night out was happening all over again. She could feel the rage rapidly surge through every ounce of her body. Suddenly, her date wasn't laughing anymore. Suddenly, his mirth was rapidly petering off into frightened silence as she stood upright, with emerald eyes blazing brightly as she balled her fingers tightly.

"_Oh, you think that's all funny, huh? It's all just a big pile of laughs to you,, hmm?" _

"_I...I...no, wait, I didn't mean...c'mon Frankie, you can't be serious-"_

"_That is IT! It looks like-"_

* * *

"...the only action _you're_ getting tonight is a fist to the kisser!" the caretaker snarled furiously as she snapped awake.

Like a loaded spring, her hand shot straight up into the empty air with a ferocious strength that probably would've loosened a few teeth had someone's face there.A moment later, reality quickly caught up with her and with a gasp of relief the riled young woman let her arm flop back across her chest.

Well _that_ had hardly been pleasant. Definitely, there was nothing like a parade of bad memories to make sure that even her dreams were no refuge from her daily woes. If nothing else could go right, then couldn't she at least get a good night's-

Wait.

Something was definitely..._off_. Still not dully awake, she rubbed her eyes with a drowsy groan. For starters, what was up with her bed? It definitely didn't feel the same, and...no, no, first of all, _what_ was wrong with her pillow? One thing was for sure, it definitely didn't feel like the usual feather-filled cushion that would rest beneath her. Tonight, it felt more like her head was resting atop a couple of bony sticks, or like she was resting on someone's oddly proportioned la-

"F-Frankie? Uh...sorry, but...what was _that_?" the owner of the lap she was lying in loomed into the view. Having just been rudely awoken not more than a minute before by a tightly clenched fist flying just inches away from his face, Wilt understandably was quite rattled. However, ever the dearly loyal friend, he quickly went to work trying to forget his own initial fright as he now began fussing over the young woman.

Frankie was now fully awake, and already feeling like she was going to be drowned by the crushing wave of embarrassment fast washing over her. As she let out a loud groan, her cheeks lit up with a crimson blush so vibrant that her face almost matched her hair. By now everything was flooding back to her, if a bit too late. She remembered now; she hadn't gone to bed. She had just changed into an old shirt and sweatpants before settling down for a late movie with Wilt and...and...

Oh, _great_.

"...Pal?" Frankie whimpered as she reached out and felt about. Last she remembered, her charge had been leaning up against her as they watched _It Came from Planet Snarzak_.

She then looked up, and confirmed her worst fears. There at the far end of the sofa huddled a badly, badly spooked child, with eyes bugging almost to the size of saucers as his little heart thudded like mad against his ribcage. Like most children would in his situation, Mac was having a bit of trouble dealing with the fact that his guardian had burst awake shouting like an utter lunatic.

For a few moments, the room was blanketed in a painfully awkward silence, save for the murmur of the TV nearby. Now sitting up, Frankie looked to her baffled imaginary friend, and then to her half-terrified charge. Finally, not having a single clue about what else to do, she glanced up at the nearest clock, clapped her hands together and planted on the fattest, perkiest smile that she could muster in the midst of her raging embarrassment.

"...So who wants a midnight snack?"

* * *

The kitchen filled with a minor symphony of clinks and clacks as Wilt rustled through the expansive refrigerator.

"Sorry...sorry..." he apologized obsessively as his spindly arm wormed its way about countless jars, bottles and Tupperware. "Still just trying to find the mayo...I'm sorry...I know it's here somewhere, I just need a couple more seconds to-"

"It's okay." Frankie murmured absentmindedly. As her imaginary friend went about procuring the necessary supplies for sandwich-making, she sat up at the counter, fidgeting about with her ponytail. Were humiliation an acceptable currency anywhere, she probably would have had more than enough to pay off the national debt of several small nations. She tried to calm down, but this more or less a losing battle as her stress continued to weigh heavily over her.

"Frankie?"

She glanced down toward the source of the cautious inquiry. There stood Mac, with a glass of milk clutched in one hand and a box of ginger snaps gripped in the other as he finally broke his silence for the first time since their rough group awakening. With eyes wide with concern, he piped up meekly, "Are you okay?"

She couldn't help but let a weak smile sneak its was across her face as she leaned over and stretched out her arms towards the pajama-clad little one. "C'mere, you."

Mac let her pick him up and plop him atop her lap. As she stroked his head, she let out a dry chuckle. "I think you better count your lucky stars that you're adopted."

"What? Why?" he asked, glancing up and shooting her a bemused look.

"Easy; you only get the Foster name, and don't have to worry about inheriting all the crazy that usually comes with it."

This got a mild chortle out of the boy, but for a few seconds the two lapsed back into silence before Mac finally had enough. Whatever it was, he couldn't pussyfoot around the elephant in the room any longer. "So are you going to tell us what's bugging you?"

"It's...it's nothing much, really." She wasn't even thinking as the half hearted reassurances tumbled out. Barely had her charge finished his question when her brain and mouth immediately clicked again into parental auto pilot. "Don't worry about. I've just been stressing a little about...uh..."

"If you're getting so freaked out, why don't you just _talk_ to Rudy about it?" He suddenly said bluntly, finally calling her out on her flimsy web of white lies. The young woman gawked blankly at the incredibly straightforward child before breaking out in a scowl.

"Okay...you heard a _lot_ more than you let on earlier." She said accusingly.

"Kinda...but..." Mac flinched, but it only took a moment for him to stiffen his resolve. "This is just bothering you so much-"

"Yeah, but for listening in like a little sneak, _you've_ temporarily lost cookie privileges." Without further ado she lowered her head and nipped a ginger snap clean out of his hand.

"_Hey_!" he piped up indignantly, while she only flashed a mischievous grin as she chewed her stolen snack.

"I'm sorry," Wilt interrupted as he finally joined them, with a freshly made turkey sandwich in hand. "But can someone fill me in on what's going on?"

"I...well, I..." Frankie didn't exactly feel like she was in an ideal situation. Truth be told, she still didn't feel entirely comfortable coming clean with the near-excess of emotion she was battling right now. After all, Kathy did have quite a point earlier; at first glance, it all sounded like she was making an insane fuss out of nearly nothing. It had been rough enough trying to explain everything to her best friend. To put it lightly, she definitely wasn't feeling all too jazzed up about the prospect of talking this over with her imaginary friend _and_ her adopted charge at the same time. Most things she had no trouble sharing, but the wreck that was her dating life? They had to be joking.

"Hey, thanks." She reached out for a sandwich half in an attempt to derail the interrogation. With ease borne out of years of experience, Wilt gave gently batted away her outstretched hand, as if she were no more than a child again.

"I'm sorry," he automatically apologized, but the firmness in his tone, though hardly heavy, was still unmistakable. "But c'mon Frankie, this isn't okay. Whatever's going on, you have to at least _try_ to tell us."

The two bore down on her with stern stares that made it all too clear; either she filled them in, or she wasn't going anywhere, whether she liked it or not. After accepting her fate, she grimaced guiltily, and after taking a few seconds to gather up enough courage, she took a long, deep breath. "Okay...but let me warn you that this probably might not make a lot of sense..."

At first she was only able to force out her anxieties rather reluctantly. However, as the minutes ticked by, she gradually grew more comfortably, and by the end of her summary she was full on spilling her guts.

"...And I know, I know, I _know_." She groaned. "I know that everything's going just fine right now, but _that's_ why I'm a little freaked out. Now everything just feels too good, at least with whatever the heck he's not telling me. And I know Rudy's nothing perfect, but this is hands-down the best relationship I have ever been in. I _want_ this to continue, and I know we agreed to be fully honest with each other from the start, but I know he's keeping this thing from me, and I have no idea what, but I feel like whatever it is it's just going to cause the whole thing to just crash and burn like everything else, and-"

Now the words had been spilling out so quickly, she had left herself a bit winded by talking. In mid-sentence she suddenly came to a screeching half to gulp down a couple needed breaths. As she recovered, a mild blush lit up her cheeks.

"Okay, sorry, but...you guys get it right? Something isn't right, and...well, I just don't know what to do."

Now a little emotionally drained from her outpour, she rested her head in her hand with a deep sigh. Immediately Wilt reached out and began to pat her shoulder with a gangly hand, as a frown of deep concern stretched across the length of his face. For the lanky figment, this was an all too familiar story, and brought back more than enough memories of late nights spent trying to console the heartbroken girl after many a breakup or terrible date.

Mac meanwhile also wanted to comfort her. However, the boy seemed to be a little bit frustrated than anything, and for a bit just stared up curiously at his guardian as his expression contorted with utter bafflement.

"Um...okay..." he said softly. "But...have you tried _talking_ to Rudy about any of this yet?"

"Just wait a few more years, pal, and then you'll get to see that this stuff isn't so simple." she replied as she ruffled his hair a bit. "Until you, you don't really get it."

"Oh, c'mon! I think maybe if you just sat down and-"

"Mac, trust me, I'd like to...but...I also don't..." she finished lamely. This hour of the night was not the best time to try to appropriately describe the complex intricacies of relationships. Then again though, this was a topic that was never easy to handle, regardless of the time of day

"That doesn't make _any_ sense." He complained, frowning disapprovingly at the poor explanation.

Frankie huffed. The heavens only knew how much she loved him, but they also knew that sometimes, he could be frustratingly stubborn. Granted, maybe it was just a sign that he was really starting to take after his guardian. Unfortunately, as of now she was definitely more annoyed than proud as she answered back snappily.

"Okay, you want the truth? Fine! Here it comes, then. First of all, if I'm right, _then_ I have to deal with...I don't even know what, all I know is that considering my luck, then it's not going to be a blessing for my love life."

"But what if it's just _nothing_?" Mac prodded further. "What then?"

"Then if you ask me...chances are I _still_ don't win out." She answered gloomily. "If it's nothing, then there's a good chance I'll have just pushed the whole thing towards the tipping point."

"Tipping what?" Wilt gently pried.

"C'mon, guys." She started to explain with a heavy sigh. "Let's face it, of all the ways to describe me, 'normal' is not one of them. What if I am wrong? Then what's to say that this won't be when I finally push Rudy past whatever ungodly high crazy tolerance he has? 'Oh hey honey, you know how I'm your semi-insane girlfriend who is practically half-imaginary friend herself by now? Well, _surprise_! I'm also paranoid, too! Now gimme a kiss!'"

"..._Ew_." Mac couldn't help but automatically stick out his tongue in disgust. As a child, the mental image of his guardian puckering up for a wet smooch definitely was not his cup of tea.

"Okay, too far." She apologetically retreated. "But you get where I'm going with this, right?"

"Yeah, but you're _not_ going to know any of that if you don't _try_." The child in her lap continued to press doggedly, hardly deterred.

"I know, I know!" she argued back. "But...look...I don't really know what's going to happen, so I don't...now I really I don't know what to do. I _could_ try to find out what's going on, and find out something is wrong with the one good relationship I have, because when do these things ever work out well for me? But _then_ I could also just ruin the one good relationship I've ever had. I want to to just be honest and have a regular talk with him...and maybe that's what most people could do. But after what's passed for 'the usual' for my boyfriend history for the past several years, I don't...I really don't think I even could..."

"Frankie..." Mac moaned pleadingly, as his patience was slowly ground down.

"Put yourself in _my_ shoes, and you try and see just how easy it is to 'just ask' about these things. I mean, I'm sure that there are nuns out there who have a better track record of dating than I do."

As the young woman debated with her adopted charge, Wilt nervously drummed his fingers upon a table, straining his mind to come up with a different strategy. Furiously he dug through the recesses of his mind until suddenly, it felt like he had struck gold.

"Frankie!" he half-shouted in his excitement, forcing the other two to involuntarily wince with a start. As they immediately switched their attention, Wilt cringed and continued, "Sorry...it's just...Frankie, remember when you were learning to ride your bike?"

"Excuse me?" the puzzled redhead replied, not exactly sure what to make of this turn in the discussion

"Yeah, of course you do! I helped you, remember?" her beanpole of an imaginary friend went on eagerly. "You were seven years old. You kept begging me to help you learn, and then finally when we went to try it, you suddenly got really scared. Remember?"

Frankie thought hard, and immediately made a face as the memory in question surfaced. "I do... but Wilt-"

"No, just hear me out! You were-"

"Wilt, I get it!" she interrupted. "And I _really_ don't think that I like this metaphor."

"Oh c'mon Frankie." Wilt plastered on an encouraging grin, convinced that he had found a potentially successful tactic. "Remember, you suddenly started to worry that as soon as you'd get up on the bike, then you'd only end up getting hurt? Then you tried to convince me that it wasn't a good idea anymore, and-"

"Not working!" she cut in, but with no success. The lanky figment was absolutely positive he had found the perfect antidote to the situation at hand.

"I'm sorry, but I'm almost done! You kept on telling me again and again that it wasn't going to work, and I just kept encouraging you to at least _try_ it, and finally, even though you were still scared, you got up right on that bike. And then you remember what happened next?"

Frankie started blankly, wide-eyed in disbelief. Then, wordlessly she lifted her left arm, and jabbed a finger at the semi-visible jagged scar that marked her pale skin. For a couple seconds Wilt gawked uncomprehendingly for a moment until realization set full force. Once he finally remembered just how his story came to its unfortunate end, in an instant it looked like someone had just struck him in the gut with a shovel.

"I...I-I...uh..." He stammered not even able to force out his customary flurry of apologies. Again, the trio found themselves cloaked in painfully uncomfortable silent, save for Mac who nervously grabbed another cookie and took a small bite.

Suddenly, Wilt bolted upright, and without so much as a peep he rushed out of the kitchen, leaving the others floundering in bemusement.

"...Okaaaay," Frankie muttered bewilderedly. "Now where is he-"

Before she could finish her sentence the athletic figment had reappeared in a flash, huffing for breath as he carried along a framed photo in hand.

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorrysorrysorry!" He sputtered, having finally found his voice again as he clumsily took a seat and held of the picture of a cheery lunchbox-towing little redhead and her towering, grinning companion. "Okay, okay, so...how about _this_? Remember, first day of kindergarten? You were also really scared, a-and the whole way I walked you to school, you...you kept telling me you didn't want to go, b-but then you-"

It had spiraled so quickly into utter ridiculousness, Frankie couldn't help but burst out chuckling as she took the picture from the overly-helpful friend's hand and set it aside.

"All _right_, for the final time, I get it already." She chortled, shaking a little in mirth at the sight the flustered creature cut. "You can cut it out now."

"Sorry...only trying to help." he said ruefully as she pat his hand.

"Guys, it's not like I have no idea what I really should do here." She explained. "Trust me, I definitely do. I just...it's just..."

Frankie slumped in her seat a bit as she wrapped an arm around Mac for comfort. "I feel like if I don't try and do anything, then my relationship might just fall to pieces later on from..._whatever_ it is I don't know about yet. But if I actually talk to Rudy about...then either my mystery blows up in my face sooner than later, or I just end of sabotaging everything for no good reason. There's just_ so_ many ways for this to end poorly, and...I'm just..."

She may have been giggling uncontrollably a few minutes before, but her mood had officially taken a turn to the other end of the spectrum. Now, her emerald eyes began to sparkle wetly as the tears started to well up. "...I don't want to do..._anything_. I'm just so tired of getting hurt."

Frankie sniffled as she bogged down again in anguish. Mac sat there like a lump, feeling absolutely helpless and loathing the fact with a vengeance. His fertile little mind worked furiously as the hideously uncomfortable seconds ticked on by.

He squirmed about in the caretaker's hold until he could reach up a bit and wrap his arms around her slender neck in a gentle hug. Unsure of what else to say, he finally offered, "If you do go and talk to him about it...you don't have to do it by yourself."

His offer was as heartfelt as could be, but he couldn't help but grimace at the unavoidably cheesy way he had to put it. Granted, it may have been better than suggesting nothing. However, while heartwarming solutions like that might work regularly in Disney movies, was hard to say how much good this would do to his emotionally stressed parent now. Tensely he await a response, as Wilt chimed in with an encouraging smile.

"We'll be right there." He declared firmly, all the while gingerly snaking his winding arm around both young woman and child. As Mac meanwhile tightened his own gentle hold, Frankie actually managed to conjure up a weak but still genuine smile. Even though a tear or two trickled down one of her cheeks, she nevertheless let out a chuckle as the three grouped closer together in a tight family huddle. Maybe they were right. After all, if worst came to worst, then at least she wouldn't be completely alone.

"Dating advice from my imaginary friend and my nine-year-old." She said softly with hoarse giggle. "Well how can I possibly lose?"


	38. All's Absurd, Chapter 4

It was a normal late afternoon outside the local branch of the Department of Child and Family Services. That is, unless one managed to completely ignore the flamboyantly colored little bus resting in the far end of the parking lot. If that was just a tad out of place, what was positively no less out of the ordinary was the curious assortment of characters that sat waiting about inside the veritable little rainbow on wheels.

Frankie fidgeted nonstop with her sweater zipper as she kept her gaze locked on the front doors of the building. It was hard enough gathering enough courage to even make it out here, even with her tiny support group seated with her inside the vehicle. The last thing she wanted to do was to miss her chance. Anxiously she waited, struggling all the while to attempt to relax even the most minuscule bit. Alas, the last-minute decision to take the other member of her unorthodox little family was rapidly proving to be a bad choice.

"So are you breaking up with Rudy?" Bloo asked none-too-empathetically for what must have been at least the sixth time.

"_No_." she groaned, her patience now wearing threateningly thin. The still-unconvinced blob leaned over the top of the seat and prodded her shoulder none too gently as he continued to nettle her.

"Really?" he asked yet again.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"_Yes_."

"...Really?"

Frankie's was now griping the steering wheel so tightly that her nails threatened to sink into the molded plastic as Bloo continued on, surprising oblivious to her warning signals.

"I dunno...I mean, what else could you be doing? Because I know that this definitely doesn't look like a date or anything. If it was a date, then why'd you bring all of us?" he pried, putting his less than masterful deductive skills to poor work. "I mean, you didn't even try to look nice. When was even the last time that you changed that sweater? It's like you've been wearing that get-up for _ages_. And if you ask me, you really could've used a little more shampoo in the shower this morning. You're not exactly going to get anyone with split ends like that-"

"You have five more seconds to put a sock in it, or I am serving blob casserole for dinner tonight for the entire house!" she snapped, sounding like she was very seriously considering the idea. Not taking any chances, Mac grabbed his imaginary friend and yanked him back down onto the seat.

"Hey!" Bloo protested indignantly. "C'mon, Mac! _I'm_ not the one who's dangerously cranky here."

"Can it, Blooragard! I-"

"Uhhh...Frankie?" Wilt piped up meekly as he tapped one of the windows. "Sorry to interrupt, but...I think you should look outside."

She whirled about, cast her gazed towards where he was pointing, and let out an involuntarily yelp once she laid eyes on the familiar young man exiting the building. "There he is! Okay...okay, I just...I just gotta..."

Mac leaned over to give her a pat on the back as she took a few deep breaths, before finally fixing on a look of deep determination.

"Now or never!" she cried out defiantly and charged forward. "Here I-_AUGH_!"

With a yelp of dismay she lost her footing while scaling down the bus steps. Luckily for her, in her haste had forgotten to open the bus door the first place, and now leaned heavily against it at an awkward angle. "Little help, please?"

Wilt hurried reach out and opened the door, and once she exited the bus in a clumsy stumble, Frankie darted off towards her quarry. As she drew nearer, she slowed her pace to a trot, and finally to a walk. With every step closer she drew, she could feel the already massive knot in her gut grow tighter and tighter. It soon felt like she was trying to digest a cannonball as she finally drew close enough. Nevertheless, she still bravely stretched out her arm and gave her completely unsuspecting boyfriend a gentle tap on the shoulder as he unlocked his car.

"R-Rudy?" she said softly, her heart nearly in her mouth at this point.

"_GAH_!" he replied with a start. Quickly tensing up tighter than a snare drum as he let out a yell of surprise that some might have described as a few octaves too shrill. He spun about, only to instinctively press back against his car as he let out yet another involuntary shout. If anything, he was even more startled by the incredibly familiar face that had appeared from clean out of nowhere.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" Frankie stammered nervously. "Oh my God, I'm _so_ sorry!"

"I...I just..." he paused for a moment to gather his badly scattered wits together, and took a good long look before murmuring, "Frankie?"

"...Hi." after a few agonizingly awkward moments of quiet, she finally greeted him with an embarrassed chuckle. "I...I'm sorry about that...I didn't mean to..."

"No, no...it's fine." he hastily threw on a reassuring smile as he began to recompose himself. "Really, it is! I just...well, I really wasn't expecting to see you right this moment..."

"I'd probably do the same." she said comfortingly, getting a nervous chortle out of the frazzled young man.

"Well no harm done. I think I'm okay. But...Frankie, what are you doing here? I-I told you that you didn't need to surprise me with everything here at work, right? Unless...wait, is everything all right?"

Frankie froze like a deer in headlights. On a daily basis, she helped successfully manage a massive home for scores upon scores upon scores of residents, and simultaneously handled the role of full-time parent with gusto. But right _now_ at that very moment, she was only being asked just one little question, and-

"_Yes_." Her lips formed the word almost on their own as she automatically began to back her nerves wavered, she spouted halfhearted reassurances all the while. "Yes, everything is...it's just fine. Sorry about the scare, I was just in the neighborhood and...and I saw the time, so I guess maybe I could say hello, and..."

Her retreat was abruptly brought to a halt by two small hands that gave her a gentle but determined push from behind. Slightly taken off guard, she ground to a stop while Mac darted around, nabbed her by the wrist and resolutely tugged her forward.

"Oh, come _on_!" he groaned, doing his best to anchor Frankie in place while Rudy just looked on, somewhat befuddled by the curious sight that the two cut.

"Mac? Okay, just what is going on h...uh..." His confusion definitely wasn't assuaged the littlest bit when Wilt loomed up from out of nowhere, with Bloo trailing along.

"I think you gotta get ready for some heartbreak, buddy." Warned the imaginary blob. For a moment Frankie was fueled by a brief surge of annoyance, and immediately she whirled around to lash out with a light kick, which he thankfully managed to dodge with a yelp.

"_Bloo_!" Frankie snarled, before taking another couple of seconds to prep herself.

"Is...is there something I'm missing here?" her now terribly flummoxed boyfriend inquired. "Seriously, just _what_ is going on?"

"We...we..." Mac squeezed her hand encouragingly, and after her umpteenth deep breath, she finally spilled it out in an anxious jumble, "Wegottatalk."

"...Wahattanock?" he unsuccessfully tried to repeat the frantic word scramble.

"No! We..." she paused, making sure each word now came out clearly. "We...we have to...talk."

* * *

"_What_ the?"

Having parked her battered little sedan nearer to the main entrance of the offices, Kathy had actually made it inside her car and switched on the ignition before she finally spotted the somewhat abnormal gathering in the middle of the lot. After taking hasty stock of the situation, the young woman let out a grumble as she flicked the key and clambered back outside.

"Oh, I bet _this_ is going smoothly as can be."

* * *

For a few seconds, all was absolute silence. Finally though, Rudy forced out a befuddled, "..._Huh_?"

"Rudy, I...well, you're really nice, see...and...and things having been going so nice, but...but...something tells me that something...uh...not nice is going on, and so I want to ask about it, but I also kind of don't, you know, because what if I'm wrong about it? But I don't know what else to do, but I'm worried this will just be like all the others, but I'm also a little freaked out that this will be like all the others either way, and-"

Once she noted the somewhat glazed looks of total incomprehension on everyone's faces, it quickly became all too clear that she was doing nothing more than letting a whole lot of nonsense pour out unchecked. Forcefully she stopped himself dead in mid-sentence and started to wave her arms frantically. "_Ackpth_! Wait, no! Do-over! Do-over!"

"Frankie, just _say_ it already!" Mac begged exasperatedly.

"I'm getting to it! Just give me a second, okay?" The riled young woman shot back.

"But it doesn't sound like it." He folded his little arms and huffed.

"Well, I am, so can you just give me some space and go ahead and do it?" she snapped.

"Then just do it!"

"Fine, I will!"

"Okay then!"

"Fine!"

"Say it!"

"I told, you, I will!"

"Then do it already!"

"I can't when you're jumping down my throat, can I?"

As the confrontation began to quickly dissolve into an absurd squabble between the girl and her nine year old coach, Wilt attempted to cut in. "Frankie, c'mon, this is _not_ okay-"

"No, _you_ cut it out!" she growled snippily without even thinking. Almost immediately the guilt washed over her. "Oh, _no_! Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Deep breath? One more, please?" The lanky figment requested simply. Surprisingly enough she actually complied, and as she took in a long gulp of air, her now even more bewildered boyfriend finally tried to squeeze in a few words.

"Okay, I...I think you're upset...you want to talk about it a little later, or-"

"_NO_!" all three blurted out in near-perfect unison. Meanwhile, Bloo actually stood some distance apart, thoroughly enjoying the role of spectator for now, or at least trying to.

"Can't believe I didn't bring a video cam here..." he grumbled ruefully to himself as breathlessly Kathy jogged onto the scene.

"_What_ is going on here?" she gasped. "Just what is Frankie doing? Bloo, c'mon, fill me in here."

"I think that right now, they're _all_ crazy." the blob pointed and replied quite succinctly.

"...Ohh I am _so_ glad that I had the sense to ask you for input." She fired back sarcastically.

Meanwhile, Mac was giving Frankie one more half-encouraging, half-impatient push from behind, nudging her forward as she finally found the courage to say what she needed.

"You need to tell me _what_ it is, because I need to know!" she inadvertently shouted. Alas, for the moment it seemed to do little good in clarifying things for the poor young man.

"Tell you _what_? Frankie, _what_ are you doing here?" he cried, his befuddlement now climbing to heights previously unknown. "_What_ is going on?"

"I...I..." She floundered, but only for a moment before straightening up, and gazing him straight into the eyes. "You need to cut it out and tell me _what_ you're hiding, and I am _not_ taking no for an answer. Kapeesh?"

"I...I...I-I _still_ don't know what you're talking about." he answered with a weak excuse for a disarming smile. In almost no time, the signs were all there; the noticeable quaver in his voice, the wide-eyed look of alarm, and a host of others. Immediately it became quite plain that there wasn't a lick of truth to his words.

"I knew it...I _knew_ it!" Frankie looked triumphant, but only for a moment before she put her interrogation face back on. "You are so keeping something from me! And you better believe that no one is going _anywhere_ until you come clean."

"No, really! I-I don't know what you mean!" he unsuccessfully tried to sway her, his evident panic betraying him. "Come on!"

"**NO**." she said firmly, finally getting into her element. When properly riled, few could even dream of coming toe-to-toe with the redhead woman, and now was no exception. "Rudy, we tried to agree to be honest with each when we started this...and you have not been holding up your end of the bargain! You've kept a couple things from me already, and you're only doing it _again_, and this time I know that it's big."

"Well...I..." he stuttered, his eyes darting about as if he was searching for an emergency escape route. This trip to his car had gone from weird, to bad and then worse in almost no time flat. Once it was all too plain that his feeble fibs weren't fooling anyone, he hastily changed to evasive tactics.

"Okay...okay...look, we're...we're still on for dinner in a few days, right?" he asked as he slowly took a step backward from the fiery-eyed woman. "How about we all just take a couple days, settle down, and-"

"Oh _no_ you don't!" Kathy finally revealed her presence to the rest. Moving a bit ungracefully, she darted behind the retreating fellow and nabbed him tightly by the back of the belt and his shirt collar.

"_HEY_! Kathy, what the h-"

"The lady asked you a question, and it is definitely time for you to start giving some answers." She snapped as she fully joined the fray. "If my friend deserves anything, then it's a guy who is going to be straight with her."

"What? Okay, seriously, can someone just fill me in? Who _else_ is in on this?" he cried out as his mix of panic and confusion quickly reached near-overwhelming levels.

"Rudy, _stop_ it." Frankie marched up and stared him straight in the eyes and growled. "I don't like doing any of this-"

"I like this." Bloo piped up excitedly, and was promptly ignored by everyone else.

"-But I finally have to know what you're not telling me." caretaker finished. "What is it? Are you embarrassed of me? Are you hiding away something? What?"

"I keep telling you, it's nothing!" he protested, his frantic dismay more obvious than ever. "I-I've been trying to keep everything clean with you as best as I-"

"Oh, _really_ now?" Frankie scolded him like an imaginary friend caught stealing from the cookie jar. She folded her arms tightly and cast a fierce glare upon him. The young man actually flinched; he could practically feel her piercing gash stab him to the core as she verbally lashed him with an impatient tone that would send a platoon of marines quivering with fright.

"I am getting pretty sick and tired of this. If you're going to try and treat me like an idiot, then think again! I know something is up. You never want me to visit you here where you work, you never even like to talk about the idea of me stopping by your place, and meanwhile you keep telling me over and over that you're completely fine with _everything_ about me. Pfft! Yeah right, like I am buying any more of this!"

"Okay, okay, _okay_!" iIt wasn't long at all until he started to rapidly crack like an egg. "Look, can...can we not do all of this right now? Frankie, you're...you're being ridiculous here!"

"You want ridiculous?" she snapped frustratedly as she now started to get caught up in the heat of the moment. "Fine! If you don't start cooperating in the next ten seconds, then...then..."

She looked about and quickly locked her gaze on Wilt. Immediately her arm shot up, and she pointed animatedly at him as she said, "Then Wilt's going to show _you_ a thing or two!"

Immediately she realized she had gone a bit too far when most of the others buried her in a hail of confused looks. Even Rudy knew all too well that the lanky figment was practically politeness incarnate. But still, when your girlfriend's adopted imaginary friend was over ten-foot tall and incredibly athletic, it was still probably best to err on the side of caution. Frankie's threat may have been a bit outrageous, but it did get results. Unfortunately, they just weren't the ones that she planned on.

"No! No! No! _Don't_!" he hollered before breaking free of Kathy's hold and dashing off as fast as his legs could carry him. Unfortunately that wasn't nearly fast enough; Wilt only needed to take one long stride before he could gently nab the escapee and set him neatly smack in the middle of everyone.

"Oh _that_ sure wasn't a waste of anyone's time." Kathy scowled as all eyes present locked back upon the young man. Soon it became more than clear that there was absolutely no getting out of this.

"_Please_." Frankie flatly said one more time, although anyone with so much as a few brain cells would have been able to tell that she wasn't exactly giving him a choice.

Rudy looked like he had just been sentenced to the gallows. Nevertheless, after nervously licking dry lips, he relented morosely. "Okay...okay...I'll come clean."

He then slowly took his keys and reached for his car door, or at least tried to until Frankie barked warningly. "Hey! I thought you-"

"No, I will!" he explained. "But...trust me, this isn't something I can just tell you. It'll make more sense if I show you."

"Show us?" she repeated curiously.

"Uh-huh. My place. 39 Oakenridge Drive - my apartment's the third floor above the yoga studio."

"Wait, you mean 'Free Your Spirit?' Hey, I go there on Sunday morn-" Kathy put a hasty end to her outburst and tried to sound stern. "Uh, I mean...okay, fine! She'll meet you there. We _all_ will."

Frankie flashed a grateful grin at her best friend, who flashed a thumbs-up before whirling about back towards the car.

"Yeah, we'll see you there!" Bloo piped up, before trying to suavely turn about and take off behind Kathy, much to her displeasure.

"Hey, _hey_! Okay, just who said that you're carpooling with me?"

"Kathy, c'monnnnn!" he whined, following along as she picked up the pace of her stride. We were looking totally cool right now! Now you're ruining it!"

"No, you ride with _your_ crew. I'll see you at-hey! Hey, _no_! Where are you going? Hey, you get away from my car! I told you, you're not-_AUGH_! You get out of there, you hear me? Get out! _OUT_!"

As she dashed off to try and get a handle on her unwanted passenger, meanwhile Rudy and Frankie faced each other one more tense time. He had just been called out, and was not enjoying this one little bit, if the misery that marked every inch of his expression was any hair all.

The redhead however wasn't in any mood to play Miss Nice Gal. After givng him one more disapproving stare, she abruptly whirled about before wordlessly making her exit back towards her ride, with her child and imaginary friend loyally following in tow.

Soon they were back aboard the bus, and after she got into her customary position in the driver's seat, Frankie took a good minute to process everything that just happened. After sitting there in near dead silence while the others hovered anxiously nearby, finally it all suddenly seemed to sink in at once.

"I...I did it." She murmured, barely able to believe the words as they spilled from her lips.

"You did!" Mac affirmed with a hopeful smile and a relieved whoop.

"I...I did. Yeah, I did...I really...really...did it. I...I _did_ it! I did _it_!" she kept repeating as her elation speedily skyrocketed. "I actually looked him right in the eye and...and I did it!"

Unable to contain herself, she let out an ecstatic cheer, and pumped her arms in the air excitedly before reaching down and sweeping her charge up in a tight hug. "Yesss! I showed him to keep things from me! Oh thank you! _Thank_ you!"

Mac laughed as she kissed his forehead. "It wasn't anything...we just came along."

"Yeah! Well...and help out with some other things." Wilt conceded as he gave his "kid" a congratulatory pat on the shoulder.

"Like heck it wasn't anything!" she giggled as it felt like a mighty weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "I wouldn't have been able to do it all without you two! But now it's all over, and _now_ we know! There was something he was keeping from me! I knew it, I just knew it! There was something wrong he was hiding, there..."

And like that, her glee promptly crashed in a blazing inferno once she noted the unpleasant truth. "There...there _was_ something he was hiding from me, and...and...a-and..."

Suddenly the parking lot was ablaze with commotion as the dread-filled young woman let her head slump forward onto the steering wheel in her despair. As her forehead rested square atop the bus horn, she couldn't help but let out a piteous moan. "Oh..._no_..."


	39. All's Absurd, Chapter 5

The little band was definitely quite the odd sight as they all squeezed together in the cramped hallway. Bunched tightly together stood two young women, a child, an incredibly unhappy young man, and two imaginary friends, one of whom looked visibly upset as he crossed his stubby arms and fumed darkly to himself.

"That was _so_ lame." Bloo muttered, the picture of abject disappointment before giving Kathy a dirty look. "I'm pretty sure that you have the worst taste in tunes."

"Hey, you decide to bum a ride in my car, then we listen to my music. And if you can't stand alternative rock, then excuuuuse me, your royal whine-ness."

"Heeeey!" the offended little creature immediately reach for Frankie's sweater and started tugging furiously. "Frankieeeee, Kathy said that I was-"

"Bloo, _shhh_!" Mac hushed his creation. As most would have been able to tell with ease, Frankie wasn't exactly in the right state to do much of anything, much less break up an argument. Her heart was thudding away, and now it felt like it was doing it's best to to bust through her ribcage and clean out of her body. This was it; was time to see if her less than stellar dating luck had in store, and to say the very least, she wasn't at all eager to find out.

However, her boyfriend-for-now was definitely in no better shape, to say the least. No doubt he just had the drive home from hell, riding all alone with more guilt and panic than he knew what to do with. Whatever he was about to reveal, he wasn't ready at all in any way, shape or form. However, he had little in the way of alternate options, or at least not with the tiny crowd hind him that was still expecting some good, hard answers come hell or high water. Thus, as all the others watched and waited, he finally got enough control of his quivering hands to successfully unlock the door.

"Okay...here we go..." He said, almost sounding ashamed as he opened up and headed inside. The rest of the group followed behind into a small, but fairly tidy apartment. After they all gathered into the passable little living room, they all just stood about confusedly, not sure what to make of their rather average surroundings.

"...Sooo...are you going to show us whatever this secret is?" Frankie finally asked. Rudy just sighed miserably.

"Take a couple seconds. Trust me, you'll get it soon enough."

She did as bid, and looked around. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. As far as she could tell, it was just your normal apartment, complete with the usual set of furniture, and-

"Wait what..." Suddenly it began to set in. Her first impression had been wrong, for it wasn't a completely run-of-the-mill place. Yes it was normal enough, but now that she examined it all a little harder, there was definitely a surprising amount of items bearing the names and faces of some familiar felt-based pop culture stars.

"…Rudy?"

"Yeah?"

"You...you kinda have a lot of _Muppets_ stuff." She observed, eyeing the no less than three framed movie posters hanging near his TV.

"Kinda?" Kathy said bemusedly. "What do you mean, 'kinda?' Okay, where are _you_ looking at?"

"Sorry, but just let me...here…" Wilt gently grabbed Frankie's head, and steered her gaze until she was gazing at the massive bookshelf that she had somehow managed to completely miss. Every single level of it was almost packed to capacity with Muppets merchandise and collectibles of almost every conceivable kind and type.

"_Yeesh_!" Kathy exclaimed, shaking her head. "No wonder you have so much of the same junk covering your desk at the office. You don't have _any_ space to hold it here."

"He has more _where_?" Frankie asked, as Rudy spoke up defensively.

"Hey, c'mon! The kids I work with really like them...well, and so do I." he quickly added, in no position to try and hide anything else.

To say the very least, this was not what Frankie was expecting at all. Well, she honestly wasn't expecting anything in particular to begin with, but neither did she imagine anything like this.

"This...this is it?" she asked, gazing over at all the various toys and collectibles. "_This_ is what you didn't want to tell me about?"

"I'm a little bit of a fan." he admittedly sheepishly. However, it wasn't long until he sank onto his sofa with a groan, looking like he honestly wanted to find a hole to crawl into so he could perish of embarrassment in peace. "Aaand…that is sort of an understatement."

"Yo!" Bloo plucked a plastic toy out of the extensive collection and waved it about. "Is it okay if I take a look at the garbage monster here?"

"That's Oscar the Grouch." the morose young man corrected. "And sure, knock yourself out."

"Rudy...I...I don't know what to say..." Frankie said as she sat beside him on the couch. "I mean seriously...I have no idea what to make of any of this. I mean, really….I don't have any _idea_ what to say about this."

"Maybe you start to get the picture now." He replied, shaking his head guiltily. "Frankie, this isn't the kind of thing that a guy should be flashing about to just anyone."

"Good call." Kathy chimed in. This promptly earned her a quick but nasty glare from Frankie before the redhead's strong caring instincts automatically kicked into gear, and before she knew it she found herself trying to comfort the dismal fellow.

"Well...so you have a big collection of your favorite thing. I mean, when I met Kathy, she really loved My Little Pony-"

Kathy immediately went silent, wishing she hadn't let her earlier comment slip. Unfortunately, things didn't get any better fast when Mac asked curiously, "Didn't you two first meet in middle school?"

"...I'm going to plead the fifth on that, kiddo." she replied, stepping into the background to pretend to be interested in what Bloo was up to. Meanwhile, Frankie and her boyfriend continued on with what was definitely one of the most awkward heart-to-heart discussions either one of them had ever had.

"Look, I appreciate it, but…Frankie, it's no use. This is still definitely kinda weird for someone my age." He dejectedly pointed out. "I'm just a nerd about this stuff, I...well for Pete's sake, do you know why I like to pop by Foster's so much?"

"...I thought it was usually to see me." She replied, making a face.

"Ackpth!" he sputtered nervously. "I mean, yeah of course! Yes, yes, of course that but...just think about it. Going to a house of imaginary friends? It an absolutely huge place, filled almost _entirely_ with of silly, happy, wacky creatures! To me it's...it's..."

He could have sworn that he felt a little part of him swiftly die of embarrassment as he forced out the painful confession, "I like going to Foster's because it feels like the closest thing that there is to _The Muppet Show_ in real life...and sometimes more than others. Remember when you had that one friend who looked almost exactly like Kermit the frog?"

"Yeah... you were really, _really_ sad when he got adopted." Frankie recalled, eyes widening as the pieces started to quickly fall into place. However, despite all this, she was admittedly still feeling a bit baffled. "Of _all_ possible things...why couldn't you tell me about _this_?"

"Frankie...I think everyone knows that I'm already not much of a man's man here. What was I supposed to do? Come out and say, 'Hey, you know how you're kind of dating a wimp right now? Well, guess what! I'm still a total geek for the same TV characters that I was when I first started watching _Sesame Street_! How about _that_?'"

She felt a light pull on her wrist, and looked down to where Mac stood nearby. The boy didn't utter a word, but the noticeable grin he now wore definitely seemed to say, _Sound familiar at all_?

"Don't even _think_ about saying it." She warned as she picked up the boy and hefted him next to her on the sofa. She then looked back to Rudy, who was of course still looking none too proud of himself or his fandom shenanigans. "Okay, so let me see if I've got things straight here...so are you trying to say that you didn't want me knowing about your little Muppets thing because ...did you really think I would break up with you over this?"

"Well..." he sighed, seeming very resigned to his fate as he answered. "Unless you actually have a things for full-on geeks like me."

The room went quiet again, save for Bloo who was busy making the most of several plastic figures who seemed to be in the midst of a fierce battle, if the laser sound effects he was making his mouth were any indicator.

Rudy kept his head bowed low, feeling fully exposed and not at all liking what he had to show. Kathy and Wilt kept passing each other anxious glances, not sure what to add to this definitely peculiar change of events. All the while, Frankie just stared unblinkingly in dead silence, still utterly stunned by it all.

"…..So? What do you think of that?" Rudy sighed, not even daring to look in her direction, so convinced that he had just sighed the death-warrant of his current relationship. A few moments later, Frankie finally began to show signs of life again as the corners of her lips began to gradually curl upwards.

"You're right. I...I don't have a thing for geeks." she said with a bit of a sniffle as she wiped at one of her eyes. Immediately her despondent boyfriend threw his arms up in the air with an expectant groan of despair.

"I _knew_ it! Well of _course_ you don't. Of _all_ the guys you can have, why would you-"

"Not finished!" she interrupted, the joy welling up so quickly it felt like she was going to burst with glee. "_I_ have a thing for guys who are just the sweetest, the nicest, the most genuine, and not even close to normal...just like _me_."

If the blank stare that the massively thunderstruck fellow gave her was any indication whatsoever, he honestly hadn't been expecting her to say answer in any way like that. "...Wait...wait, what?

"Oh, just c'mere!" Frankie burst out laughing, feeling so relieved she barely knew what to do with herself.

"Uh-oh! Bear-trap hug, _look ou_t!" Kathy yelped once she read all the obvious signs. "Hold on-"

"What-_whoa_!" Rudy gasped as Frankie leaned in and promptly wrapped him tight in one of her infamous loving arm-wraps. Promptly the air was stolen clean from his lungs, as he was squeezed so hard he felt like his contacts were going to pop clean from his eyes and embed themselves in the opposite wall. All the while, the almost deliriously happy redhead started giggling uncontrollably like a schoolgirl in delight that knew absolutely no bounds at that moment.

"_You're_ afraid of losing me! You're afraid of losing..._me_!" she babbled gleefully. "You like me! You really, really like _me_ for...and I was freaking out _so_ much because I thought that you-"

"Hey! _HELP_!" a third, panic-saturated voice suddenly erupted in the midst of the couple.

Quickly, the tender moment was brought to a hasty end. In her joy, Frankie had forgotten that she had not only earlier brought Mac up onto the small sofa, but had placed him right between her and Rudy in a gap that had abruptly ceased to exist. "Frankie, Frankie no! _No_! Still here! I'm still-_ow_! _Aaaacck_! Frankie...still right..._here_!"

The redhead yelped once she realized that there was a trapped, thrashing life wedged firmly between them. No sooner had she lightened her grip a bit when Wilt reached in and fished the slightly squished little boy out, who emerged from the middle of the embrace with a hoarse gasp.

As a cherry-red blush quickly began to take root in her cheeks, the mortified adoptive parent instinctively took Mac back into her arms, albeit in a much gentler embrace. Whilst both her charge and her boyfriend began to nurse aching sides, she nervously rubbed her knees together and whimpered, "Sorry...I-I'm sorry, I just...you know..."

"It's...it's okay..." the winded young man winced, feeling like he had just been temporarily trapped in a trash compacter. "I think...ow..."

Kathy shook her head at the indescribably absurd sight before remarking to her best friend, "Okay, you may be a threat when angry, but you are just _lethal_ when you're overjoyed."

Frankie shrugged, unable to do much to counter the painfully truthful observation. Meanwhile, Rudy continued to try and both recover from the bruising hug and overcome his massive stupefaction. The plain fact that he had not been dumped as he expected simply had left him quite thunderstruck.

"So...so..." The helplessly baffled young man could do little more than just stammer at first, all the while furiously trying to make some sense of everything. "So now what?"

"We're still on for the movies on Sunday...right?" Frankie reminded softly as she flashed a bright smile.

"…Uh...yeah, sure..." Rudy murmured, a smile of indescribable relief slowly now taking root as it began to dawn on him ever so gradually. "I mean...um...of _course_ we are...unless…uh…"

"Then seeing as don't have anything to worry about except a little hobby of sorts," Frankie announced with a wink, "I'm pretty sure we're done here for today."

"_Hallelujah_!" Kathy cried as she hurled her arms high in the air, quite ecstatic that the day's shenanigans were coming to an end. "And not a minute too soon. There was a _whole_ lot of fuss for a whole lot of _nothing_, if you ask me. I mean, you two are just..._sheesh_! Next time they give out the award for 'Most Aggravating Couple' I am _so_ nominating you."

"Then how about you swing by the house first and join us all for dinner?" the caretaker, now feeling far more at ease, offered her friend as she herded the others together. "I'm making chili tonight, and I'm we can spare a seat at the table."

"With an offer like that, how can a mooch say no?" Kathy laughed as her mood brightened considerably. "Vaminos amigos! I am hungry, and far too lazy to cook for myself tonight."

"See you all later, then." Rudy just waved weakly as the curious procession trooped out. Kathy hered Bloo from the massive array of Muppets collectibles, and the azure figment was looking none-too pleased that his playtime had been brought to a halt.

"Aw man, just when I actually started having some fun here…and everything else got so gross, _so_ fast."

"Is that so?" Kathy replied as she steered him towards the exit. "I'm sorry, maybe we should go stop at the supermarket on the way back so you can have some cheese to go with your whine."

"But I don't even drink-_HEY_!" Bloo squealed, while Wilt meanwhile found it difficult not to crack a smile at the young woman's well-aimed remarks.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry, I know it's mean to laugh, but..." he attempted to apologize before an unavoidable chuckle cut him off. As Bloo erupted into a minor tirade, the odd little band made their way together out the door.

But right before she made her own exit, Frankie stopped and turned, locking eyes with Rudy as the young man stood in the middle of his living room. "So...I'll see you Sunday, right?"

Still not one hundred percent recovered from his shock, he shrugged and replied with a nervous laugh, "Well...I'd like to, but...I still don't think I really know _why_ you do."

"Well…yoyal nutjobs deserve one another...right?" she attempted to joke. "I mean...as long as you really are okay with the crazy-paranoid twenty-three year old parent who works at the local madhouse."

"Only if you're okay with the Muppet-obsessed scaredy-wimp who you could probably beat in an arm-wrestling contest." He managed to shoot right back playful before letting out a nervous laugh.

Without warning Frankie leaned in and planted a kiss on his cheek. This promptly caused his cheeks to light aglow with a deep crimson, as his lips began to curl into a relieved smile. Having given her wordless answer. she drew back, and giggled uncontrollably st the sight he cut. " You know, something tells me that we can make this work."


	40. All's Absurd, Chapter 6

"...Huh?" the dozy young woman grunted as the vibrations of her phone abruptly startled her semi-awake. As she let out a jaw-stretching yawn, she reached to answer the call, which quickly proved to be a bit more difficult than expected. After all, it was hard enough moving about the hammock that she had rigged up out on the front porch, despite Mr. Herriman's objections how it "marred house aesthetics" or whatever it was he had been griping about at the time.

However, what definitely wasn't making the task any easier was the face that the hammock was currently rather full. At that very moment, she shared it with no less than two napping children and a snoring blob. Finally though, after bumping her fingers against Mac several times too many and nearly elbowing the slumbering Goo right in the head, she managed to gingerly fish her phone from her sweater just as it got to its last buzz.

"Hello?" she answered softly. Immediately she broke out into a fat smile that spread from cheek to cheek once she heard the familiar voice. "Hey, honey! How are you? Uh huh...well that's good...yeah, sorry, I can't talk too loud right now."

She rolled her eyes at the comment that followed from the other end. "Yes, 'my kids' are sleeping. Good one, Mister Comedian, I definitely haven't heard anything like _that_ before...hmmm? Yeah, the chore-load was pretty light today. I actually finished up shortly after lunch, so I got to a play a game of 'Space-Ninjas' outside with...huh? No, no, _they_ were the space ninjas, _I_ was the Pirate Queen of Mars."

As she chatted in a tone barely above a whisper, she lazily twirled a loose lock of red hair with a free finger. "So what are you doing tonight? Uh-huh...uh-huh...re-heated meatloaf? Oh, that definitely sounds like a meal to die for."

She couldn't help but giggle now that she was go to throw out a playful barb. "No, of _course_ I'm being serious, why wouldn't I be? Hey...why don't you save your gourmet dinner for another night? Uh-huh...no, I know we don't have anything planned. But why don't you just swing by later after work? It's pizza night tonight, so you can grab a few slices and hang out a bit, and...what's that? I don't care if it gets Peter Cotton-Butt's underwear in a tangle, it'll be _fine_. Grandma likes you, so you have nothing to worry about...uh-huh...uh-huh...is _that_ right? Okay, well then what if I told you we have a new house resident? Well, he was made by a kid who didn't have a whole lot of creativity, so you have to believe me when I say he is exactly like...wait for it...Fozzie Bear."

Frankie quickly tried to stifle a chuckle, for even the gentle quivering of her belly had enough potential to wake up the napping little ones clustered all about her. Still, it was hard not to be amused by the burst of almost childish excitement that was now pouring through the receiver. "Yes, yes, he even tells terrible jokes too...yeah, they're just _awful_. And if you ask me, he probably only has open week here, tops, before some kid decides to take him home...haha, I _knew_ that'd hook you in. So just show up around six-ish, okay? And feel free to stick around longer. No, it'll be fun! Bloo is pretty convinced you two can win in multiplayer on _Galactic Blaster 2_...I dunno, Mac and I beat you _pretty_ badly last weekend...okay, okay, we'll see who gets the last laugh this time...yeah, see you tonight."

She heard him hurriedly add one more thing before she could hang up. "Huh? Rudy, say that again, I didn't get...oh..."

Frankie paused and quickly cast a cautious glance about to make sure the others were still deep in slumber. Once she was sure that the coast was clear, she finally answered back with a smile and a blush, "Yeah, I heard you that time...love you too. Bye."

She then flipped her phone off and lay back with a sigh of total and utter contentment. However, no sooner had she gotten comfortable when one of her supposedly sleeping hammock-mates finally let out a muffled snort of laughter, followed by a playful but also semi-sincere, "...Yuck."

Frankie rolled her eyes and gave the little boy curled against her left side an ungentle poke. "You are getting _way_ too good at listening in at all the wrong times, kiddo."

Mac lazily opened an eye before defending himself. "How about next time you do a better job of answering your phone without waking anyone up?"

"Maybe….and maybe next time I should bump you right off of here." She softly shot right back with a mock-serious frown. "Then you can nap on the nice comfy ground, and_ I_ can answer my private phone calls in peace."

"Okay…but would he be calling you in the _first_ place without.._you_ know…" Mac pointed out mischievously before letting out a dozy yawn.

Frankie stifled a chuckle, conceding gracious defeat in the play-argument. She curled her arm around and lovingly hugged him a little closer, though not before succumbing to the urge to whisper jokingly. "Either you get back to napping, Mister Smartypants, or I'll dump my boyfriend tonight just so you won't have anything to gloat about."

Taking the unsubtle hint, Mac let his eyes droop back shut and rested his head in the crook of her neck. Not surprisingly it wasn't long until he checked out, and Frankie soon started to follow her adopted charge's lead, and let herself slowly drift off as she basked in the tranquility of the moment. Or, at least she tried to for a few minutes, before her next interruption literally reared its head.

The front door suddenly creaked open, followed by the familiar squeak of basketball shoes. "Hey, Frankie, are you-"

"Shhhh." she softly hushed, before the towering red string-bean of an imaginary friend could even poke his face out. Wilt immediately went silent as he emerged out onto the porch and quickly scanned the scene. Wordlessly Frankie pointed to the little huddle of dozing little lumps nesting around her.

"Oops, sorry!" Wilt quickly apologized in a softer and far more appropriate volume. "Sorry, I was just checking up. You need anything?"

Frankie shook her head a few times until something that suddenly crossed her mind. "Well...care to give us a little push?"

The gangly figment flashed his trademark cheek to cheek smile before he sat down, leaned back heavily against the porch railing, and ever so gently gave the hammock a light rock. Slowly it started to swing back and forth, and the young woman happily settled in with another contented sigh.

"Need anything else?" he whispered. She was about to fire back with an automatic response before suddenly deciding to take a few seconds to give his inquiry a bit of honest thought. Once the near-unbelievable but happy truth dawned upon her, almost immediately a grin sprouted on her face.

"You know…." She admitted in a happy murmur. "Work is the same as always...I have good friends...family I wouldn't give up for the world...and for the first time, I am no longer single, and actually _enjoying_ it.

Wilt let out a small laugh. "So do you need anything else, or not?"

"You know what? Not...one...single...thing." The young woman replied, happily dragging out the final answer and just relishing every moment of it.

"Well is _that_ so?" her imaginary friend chortled, quite pleased to see her so at ease.

"Uh-huh." She tucked her hands behind her head with a joyous sigh. "You better believe it. It looks like for now, absolutely _everything_ is coming up Frankie."

With that, she shut her eyes tight, ready for a nice afternoon nap. Alas, it was a nap that wad destined to never arrive, but hardly had she finished speaking when the redhead and had the imaginary friend both had their attention caught by a barely audible sound that sounded suspiciously like something was slowly tearing.

"What is-_AUGH_!"

Sleepy-time was brought to a crashing halt when everyone took an abrupt trip south to the ground below. Without further warning, the hammock rebelled against the tranquility of the moment and abruptly collapsed in a heap, and a split-second late all four of its former occupants were lying in a groaning tangle, all wide awake and none too happy about any of it.

"This hammock got a whole lottta, lotta, _lotta_ less comfy." Goo whined as Wilt immediately was in the thick of the aftermath, fishing a dazed Bloo off the child before helping her onto her feet.

"Owww..." Mac grunted with a wince as he clumsily detached himself from the mess. "_What_ just happened?

Frankie just lay where she fell in an undignified sprawl. Finally though, as her charge assisted her back upright, she furrowed her brow and declared her defiance to the whole world in reply. "Something that I absolutely refuse to take as a sign of _anything_."

**The End**

* * *

**That does it for this minor trip of mine back into writing. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**- Dude13**


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